"It hurts really bad. Every...time...I use...THEIR powers...I feel all the pain I made then feel...and it's the...worst...feeling...These powers don't belong to me. My power is heating...controlling the water...freezing it...are theirs...and...very time I...use them...I feel all...that...pain...they felt...not only when...I...murdered them...but also...the feelings...that I hurt them...I betrayed them. And now I know how they felt...that's my...punishment. I deserve it...oh my God..." I started crying again. "It hurts...please...make it stop...it hurts..." tears rolling down my cheeks. It hurt...I couldn't think of anything else, just the pain. Then I felt someone pushing me into their arms. It was Newt. All this time, he was just staying quiet. Not saying a thing. Just listening all that bloody crap. And now he's pulling me into his arms, again without saying anything. Why in the world would he do that? I'm a bloody murderer. I kept crying in his chest. Then I heard Thomas and Minho walking away. Ofcourse they did. Why would they stay? And then we were the two of us.
Newt's Pov:
A minute or so passed from when Tommy and Minho left. They wanted to leave us alone for a while. To make things clear. Then they would return. Rikki had stop crying. I was just holding her in my arms tightly. Her head rested on my chest. I buried my head in her messy hair. I didn't want this to end. I didn't dare to say anything. I didn't want her to be sad. Not because of me. She had been through enough crap. A murmure interrupted my thoughts. I leaned over her, "What did you say love?". She got up slowly, in a sitting position, freeing herself from my arms. Come on! That's why I didn't want to say a bloody thing! Although it couldn't last forever right? Her eyes were still wet. She took a deep breath. "Why are you still here?". She looked me deep in my eyes. I stuck. I didn't know what to answer. I didn't want to say anything dumb and hurt her but I also wanted her to know exactly the way I feel for her. "Rikki...I don't care if you were a bloody murderer. That was a lot time ago. I know that you've change. I know that you don't want that. I've told you a million times, how much I believe in you...in the girl that I know...and that girl...is not a murderer". As I finished, I saw a tear rolling down her cheek. I wiped it away. I wanted her to know everything. Now it was time. I leaned forward, holding her with my hand. She did the same. It was time. Finally I could taste those sweet, red lips. We came closer and closer. She glanced quick in my eyes, then at my lips, as I did. I could feel her breath, my lips inches away from hers and then- "Newt..." I heard her. She pulled back and pulled my hand away from her face. "...I...can't". No...she didn't. Not again. Why is she bloody doing that every shucking time? Why? I tried E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Come on! Again? Seriously? Disappointment and range started flooding me. " No. Ofcourse you can't" I pulled myself back and rested my back on the trunk of the tree and my hands on my knees. "No, Newt...you...can't understand-". I cute her off, my anger ready to explode. "No Rikki, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I've tried everything. I did everything I could to show you that there're people who actually care about you. I...care about you. I made a promise to myself. Never stop trying, because I have faith and YOU taught me that. I have faith that someday maybe you notice how much I like you Rikki, but seriously I don't bloody know what's happening inside your head. You keep playing with me and I'm sick of it, so when you finally end up to decide what to do, just come-" my yelling was cut off from her and before I could understand what was happening, I felt her lips kissing mine. An explosion of emotions rushed through me. Then I felt her hands around my neck. I moved mine around her waist. Oh my God. She finally did it. She finally kissed me. YES! She kissed ME! I finally tasted those red lips and I didn't want it to end. But then she pulled back. "If you think this is a game, then you won it" she said looking me straight in the eye.
Your Pov:
Oh my God...I did? Did I just...Oh crap! WHY DID I DO THAT? No. No. No. No. Now how am I supposed to look at him in the eyes again. Shit! I wanted to turn into bubbles and disappear. Oh God...I don't even know if I wanted this. If I liked it! Arg!!!
My thoughts were interrupted from a voice. "Hey...is...is everything okay now?" I turned to the direction of which the voice had come. I saw Thomas walking towards us, then Minho appeared jogging. They sat in the exact same positions, they had sat before. "Do you feel better?" Minho asked. "How am I supposed to be better? I killed my best friends. I didn't have a hook scratching my tail" I almost yelled. They left. They had leave. Why were they here again? "Why you came back? You left. Why are you bloody here?". They both looked at Newt. Then it hit me. I rolled my eyes. Were they serious? They left us alone...because Newt wanted to...kiss me? Oh God...why didn't I think of it? So all this time they were hiding behind a tree, watching...EVERYTHING? "We went back to help the others. Ben's in the pit. No worries" Minho took place. "Yeah...Alby can explain everything...he did to me anyway" then Thomas. So they didn't. "And why're you back?You could just-", "Because you trusted us...and we know how much trust means to you" Minho interrupted me. I looked at him confused. I never could imagine words like those coming out of his bloody mouth. "Hey, don't stare at me like that. Your little eyeballs will hurt from my shining beauty" and he smiled. Yeah...that's the Minho I know. Then Thomas chimed in. "You told us the truth. If this is the truth...so be it. You're not the first person in the Glade, who has killed someone" he gazed at the others, "You won't be the last one either" his hand on my shoulder. Maybe I could trust them after all. I don't have a choice anyway. I already had told them everything. So...what can change with the whole story?
"Wanna know all the bloody truth so?". I didn't wait for the answer. I reached out my neckless and pulled it out of my shirt, cutting of the knot of the rope, it's edges falling of my hand, waving as a gentle breeze was blowing. All the three pairs of eyes widen and Newt came closer, gazed ones at me and ones at the crystal nervous. "It used to be blue" he said then gazing at me. "No, it used to be red" I gazed at him then. Then looking back at the bloody crystal I started talking again. "We had three. A blue, a white and a red one. They were like...um...an amulet for our friendship. Mine was the red one" I felt tears burning my eyes again, but I tried to calm myself down. "So...when they..." I closed my eyes shut "...died..." a whisper came out, "...it turned into black" I opened my eyes to see Minho taking it in his palm. He processed it and then looked at me. "How's that even possible?" he stopped for a second. He seemed to understand how damn was that question. "I mean..." he looked it again, "...it was red, it turned black and we saw it blue". Well...okay, he was right. I shrugged. I really didn't know the answer. "Magic I guess". Thomas and Newt leaned forward to get a better look. I'm really worried. Minho was right. Why it changed colours? "I know it was just a jewellery at first. I'm 99% sure, but not totally because they didn't belong to us" they all turned and looked at me with a questioning look. "It's a long story...they belong to three older mermaids. The two of them had already passed away, when the third one gave us hers. She was really sweet". For a moment, memories flood my mind. All the beautiful moments we had together. I felt a little smile shaped on my lips, I lowered my head and closed my eyes, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I could hear the three of us laughing, I could see their smiles...we were happy. "Love, is everything ok?" a voice with a familiar accent woke me up, vanishing all the pictures and memories. I opened my eyes, just to see Newt coming closer, pulling me into a hug again. This time I pulled myself back, not sure why, it just didn't feel right. "I'm fine" I whipped my tears. "It was our friendship. Our bond that changed the colours. So when I destroyed everything, I destroyed the magic too...and nothing left inside me but darkness. That's why I can't die. When you do such a bloody thing, you have to pay the consequences. Sometimes the pain is unbearable that drives you to the edges. I tried so many times to put an end...but I couldn't. I just return back. That's my punishment. And...I deserve it" I stared at the crystal. "I know that you don't believe this" Thomas said. "Believe whatever you want Thomas. The truth can't stay hidden", "That's exactly what I said", "You don't believe that", "You don't believe what I think you believe, I believe, you believe. Truth can't stay hidden" he said. All of us looked him with a big questionnaire forming in our eyes. "Whatever" I finally said. "What about the blue color?" Minho then. "Um..." that's a good question actually. "I..." I actually had no clue. "I don't know" I frowned. "You sure it was blue?", "Yeah...I saw it too and the blue light" Newt chimed in. "All of us did" then Thomas. "Well..." I was confused, "...the blue light...I use it when I touch an amount of water so I don't grow a tail or just to calm myself down but...um...maybe it's from the water or something, or the moon or even the colour of the crystals in the moon pool. Although...I don't have the slightest idea why you saw it blue". Another mystery then. "Well...we'll help you find out. Here" he gave me the neckless. "The mysteries of the blue, deep ocean will reveal" he whispered...then laughed as Newt punched him at the back of his neck and Thomas told him to shut up. They were all smiling, as I did. "You remind me of us". They stopped laughing but still they were smiling. "Maybe you know each other before the Maze but...here is where all begun right? Here is the place you became friends" they looked at each other. Then they nodded. "And there was where all begun...at the...mono pool...isn't it?" Thomas asked. I looked at him. "There was where you became a mermaid". I stared at the ground and smiled. "I was there with two friends, as you already know, under the foolmoon" I looked back in his eyes. "It must have been...quite a surprise", "Surprise?...One day you're a normal teenage girl and the next you're..." I made a movement with my hand, showing an imaginal tail, "...this", "Was it that bad?" I heard Minho. I shook my head, trying to keep my tears. "The first dive over Mako reef... - Mako was the island where was the moonpool -...was...amazing" I paused for a secons. "Like...all the best feelings in the world, all rolling to one" I smiled again. "We felt so special" I looked them in the eyes. Then...remembered all the bloody stuff. "Then everything becomes about...keeping the secret...you don't know who to trust, so...you don't trust anyone". The smiles had vanished, replaced with worry. "It was us three versus the world", "You really miss them don't you?" Thomas took place. I looked at the ground nervously. I didn't want to start crying again. "Mermaids share a secret, that bind you together" that time was Newt. "When you were swimming on the reef with your friends...didn't you feel like you were sisters?" I turned my gaze at him. How could he possibly knew that? I smiled, but as soon as I did I stopped. "Think how bad you felt, when you lost your friends. Imagine how bad it'd feel to loose a hundred brothers" Minho and Thomas looked at Newt, then at me. Newt's eyes were wet. Minho bit his lips and looked at the ground. Thomas closed his eyes. "You came here, because it was ment for you, as it was for all of us. Don't you see? You're just like us" he made a movement with his hand showing first the two boys and then the area around, meaning all the others. "A Glader" he smiled as the others did without looking at me. "Please, let us help you", "Let yourself be a part of this family" Thomas added. It was the first time to hear them talking like that. Something although was holding me back. I shook my head. "The others will never accept me" I looked at them. "When they found out everything, they will just make things worse. I'll be the nightmare of this place". They looked at each other. "We'll see that" they stood up, then Newt kneeled and gave me his hand. It was now or never. I took it and we all walked back to the others.
Newt's Pov:
Oh my God...my thoughts are a bloody mess. I don't know how am I supposed to feel right now. I mean...what did she mean before...about a game...and then...she didn't even let me hug her. Although, she listened to us. We convinced her. I'm sure about that.
We made our way through the woods back to the Glade, but before we get out of the shades I stopped. Minho and Tommy stopped too and turned their gazes at me, then Rikki bumped into me. She was walking behind us. I turned around just to see her blinking while she was taking steps back. I grabbed her from her arm to stop her from falling and pulled her forward, then she found her balance. "Is everything okay love?". Her gaze met mine. "What happened? Why did you stop?". It was clear. Something was in her mind. She had just came out of deep thought. "What were you thinking?", "That's why you stopped? To ask me what was I thinking?", "Could you please answer me for once with a sentence without a bloody question mark at the end?", "What's got into you?...and stop squeezing my arm". I looked at my hand. Shit! Come on Newt! Why did you just do that? "I...sorry...I don't know why I just did that...um..." I started to mix up the words. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. "It's called anxiety. You know you have it when you are around to someone that makes you feel nervous" then Minho's voice. What?! "Oh...so I make you feel nervous" then Rikki. "And you're still holding my arm". My head was spinning between the conversation. EVERYONE STOP TALKING ALREADY! Minho you don't help at all! "Minho go to Alby and tell him I'll be a bit late at the gathering. Tommy go and help the others" I said without taking my gaze of her eyes. Maybe with a little more frustration in my voice than I wanted. However they both left. It was time to make things straight.
Your Pov:
Newt was looking straight in my eyes. I could feel his grip becoming tighter and tighter. At some point I started to feel the pain, as his hand had made the blood circulation difficult. "You know what?..." I started. "Maybe I was right at first. Maybe all these was a bloody act. You never understood me huh? So now you can hate me. You know what? I don't bloody care! It was a mistake, that I thought for a moment I could trust you" I shouted at him. Then happened something that I could never imagined. Newt grabbed my other hand, pushing me backwards until I felt my back hitting hard on a cold, rough trunk. "I'm sick of it Rikki! I'M SICK OF IT! What can you NOT understand of everything that I told you? I just CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE! First you kiss me and then...you pulling away from me, you talk back to me and now...I...I know you feel the same way Rikki...I KNOW IT!" he yelled back, pinning me again against the tree. Oh shit...what have I done? I could never imagine Newt talking to me like that. I made him do it. I...I...did this to him... "Newt...I'm sorry...I told you things like this happens when you mess with me. I can't...I want to prot-", "I-KNOW-YOU-FEEL-SOMETHING" he cut me. I didn't know what to do...I had to make a choice... My head was spinning... "Then prove it" I finally said taking a few steps forward pushing him back. He was looking me in the eyes. Then he pinned me against the trunk again. Perfect. Although this time he moved my hands on his chest. Then he wrapped his hands around my waist. "Tell me that this doesn't make you feel nervous". Oh my God... Oh no. I felt my cheeks burning up. No, no, no. "Not a little" I answered, to calm myself. After that he leaned closer. I could see clearly in his eyes. "What about now?", I felt my breath becoming heavier but a didn't give up. "No Newt, I'd-" he cut me off with his finger blocking my lips. I was surprised. Then he moved his hand and he passed a tuft of my hair behind my ear. I bit my lip, as I lowered my head and looked down, then back at him, as he moved his hand around my waist again. Then he leaned even closer. Now I could feel his breath, our noises almost touched, our lips inches away. He was looking at my lips. I still wasn't sure. I tried to pull myself back but there was no back. That bloody trunk was blocking me off. Did I want this? I always was telling to the others to create their own magic, to live their own story...but...I personally never did. "Be my mermaid Rikki". Then his lips touched mine. For the second time. But this time...I knew I liked it and I didn't want it to end. I moved my hands at the back of his neck and played with his hair. This time...the kiss was full of pation. I couldn't believe it. I had started to fall for him and I hadn't even realise it!