Baby Tracker 👶
11 months old 🗓️
January 2020
I haven't heard from Craig since the day he came around when Jack was here. I text him on Christmas day to wish him a happy Christmas and I even put that I was looking forward to meeting for a drink, but he didn't reply.
I can't blame him, he found a half naked cocky Brummie in my house walking around like a peacock in a bright pink hoody and a little sticky uppy ponytail.
And he saw a condom wrapper on my worktop. I still cringe every time I think of it.
That aside, Christmas at the Grealish's was wonderful.
Mia was very out of sorts when I arrived on Christmas Eve, nothing would soothe her, and when I confessed to Jack she hadn't been sleeping well with her teeth again he had slept downstairs with her to give me a chance to sleep properly.
He had stayed up with her all night, just dozing when she did and rocking and soothing her the rest of the time.
Hollie had found him in the lounge asleep on the sofa at 6am with his hand gently resting on the top of the travel cot that Mia was sleeping in.
When she woke up, she had cut her second tooth.
The day had been lovely.
Mia had been so spoilt. Having a baby around definitely sparks the Christmas magic. Mia is crusing along furniture now holding on, she was a devil pulling ornaments off of the Christmas tree and swiping anything within her reach, but of course she gets away with anything at Nana and grandads house.
Having not really seen any of them since I left back in.the summer, I found it heartwarming to see the relationships Mia had with her grandparents and uncle and aunts.
Having no family for her on my side, it means the world to me.
I had wondered what to expect from Karen, but she was as warm towards me as always, and she both apologised to me for making me feel I had to stay in the summer, but also thanked me for the fact that I did actually stay.
I showed her all the updates that Mia's nursery had sent to me on their online communication app. She then gave Jack a rollicking for not thinking to share them with her himself when she found he was set up on it too.
Jack had given me a present from him and Mia, which was a beautiful silver necklace with Mia's actual fingerprint engraved into it and her birth details etched into the back of it.
Christmas night Jack had shared a room with his brother, at least until I got woken up by a text from him at 3am asking if I was awake.
When I had replied that I was now, he had asked me to meet him downstairs and we sat and talked in the soft glow of the Christmas tree, making plans for Mia's birthday and of course, one thing did lead to another and, well, Jack got his sack well and truly emptied and then he made sure that I was fully stuffed.....
But now, In the harsh reality of a cold January, I do feel a bit put out that any chance of anything with Craig has been lost. .
Especially after after photos of Jack celebrating New year's eve at a party in London, looking like he was getting very cosy with a pretty member of a girl band had been printed in the sun.
Why can he just do what he wants, but me, any chance I might have had with Craig is gone because of Jack and because of my weakness to never be able to say no to him.
I've put Mia into nursery now three days a week and I'm doing regular hours at the salon and lots more work on fashion shoots.
I'm at the salon whining to Danielle about the situation with Craig while we tidy up.
"Chels just text him and ask him out for a drink, I think you're going to have to make the first move here"
"I know, but I'm so embarrassed by the whole thing...-"
"- right this poxy Jack, is there ever going to be a serious relationship? Surely he's not that fucking good in bed that you would choose to deny yourself a real relationship for it?"
"He is that fucking good in bed though that's half the problem! We get on so well, but......I'm getting more and more fashion shoot work here, I don't want to go back to Birmingham really"
"Would he ever come here?"
"No, I've told you he can't because of his job!"
"Right what is his fucking job Chels? What does he do that's so bloody special that he can't bloody do in Manchester?"
"It's just complicated!" I say, it sounds ridiculous I know it does.
"Just text fucking Craig" she mutters.
I drop it, I know she's getting pissed off with my moaning.
It's Jack's weekend to have Mia, I'm determined that nothing is going to happen with Jack when he picks her up. I need to sort my life out, and I know that without me stopping it Jack would happily still just fuck me just casually as the chance arose even when Mia is old enough to have her own children!
Luckily, I don't need any resolve or will power when Jack arrives and I see he's brought Hollie along with him, but then I torment myself with the thought that maybe he brought Hollie to stop himself making a move on me, and that maybe he actually really likes this Amy from the girlband.
As I wave them off I snap. I've had enough.
I pour myself a huge glass of wine.
Then I text Craig
'hi, hope you're ok? I was just wondering if you fancied meeting up this weekend? Chelsea x'
I'm surprised that he answers straight away.
'If you want to. I'm free Saturday'
...
I watch the bubble that means he's typing
...
'But first, please be honest. Was that Jack Grealish from Aston Villa in your kitchen? Is he Mia's dad? Are you still seeing him? Craig'
I stare at the screen.
'ok, yes, yes and no Chelsea x'
'but it was pretty obvious you'd been together when I came round, Craig'
I don't know how to respond. I decide that honesty is the best policy.
'complicated fuck buddy is probably the only way I can describe that, but we are not together at all. Chelsea X'
I cringe at myself using Jack's phrase.
...
...
...
...
I stare at the phone, willing Craig to reply.
...
...
...
'I knew I recognised him! I saw him on sky sports and it clicked! Bit of a shock. So he was your holiday romance? Craig'
'yeah....one of my friends is kind of seeing one of his friends, that's how we ended up on the same holiday, Chelsea x'
'theres a band that's good on at the dog and pheasant Saturday night - fancy it? Craig'
I smile.
'I would love to, Chelsea x'
'great it's a date. Craig'
I hug my phone to my chest, a date. I feel a little butterfly flutter in my tummy at the thought of a date.