"You remember this", Shehnaaz asked once they were over the emotional turmoil they felt at the moment pointing towards the ring in his hand.
" Abey gadhi apni shaadi ki anguthi koi kaise bhool sakta hai" He spoke amused at what was she even talking about but then again she was Shehnaaz, she could he thought.
" Dekho bhool toh gaye na, shaadi nhi engagement ki; shaadi par anguthi aapki voh Natasha ne di thi kya", she spoke annoyed and he laughed loudly
"Has kyun rahe ho ab", she pouted.
" Tujhe pta hai na duniya main akeli piece hai tu ", he spoke but before she could speak something he continued...
" Jisko mere hi sar madhna tha" He spoke teasing her. He did this a lot, even when they were in that courtship period after their marriage this was his favourite part, back then he was done with his MD and was not planning to do any course immediately, 8 1/2 years are hectic enough to drain someone's energy and moreover he wasn't such back then, the loss of the one he loved made him bitter with everything around but he was much calmer much composed at present, he knew Shehnaaz was the reason he got his life back on track.
" Natasha married hai baba, she came with her family that day, mazaak kar rahi thi mere saath aur remember bataya tha maine issi anguthi se I am married too", Sidharth spoke.
" Haan toh mereko kya, kisise bhi mazaak karo aur vaise bhi main toh aisi hi hoon jhelo puri zindagi, chodne toh kyunki main dungi nhi, aur ye thodi bataya tha kisse shaadi hui hai", she sassed flipping her hairs.
" I'm not letting you leave either", he promised in his heart, he wasn't ready to confess it out loud not yet. He just smiled and closed his eyes letting the events happened in the day run through him again, him getting the news about pregnancy, getting papped, Mom knowing about it already and the abortion papers finally, too much for a day to handle.
"Bata doon bol puri duniya ko bata dete hai chal unki pyaari Shehnaaz is married from 3 years, lagwa le career ki bhaad main jaaye mehnat, 26 saal ki ladki 34 saal ke aadmi ke saath rehti hai bol ", he nudged her irking her to a point.
" Bas Sidharth, Shaadi ke baad se dikat hai ye aapki, Sirf 8 saal bade hai aap, samjhe aap, Aur mujhe aise hi pasand hai", she shouted but only if she knew this was one of the insecurity which made him agree to keep their marriage under wraps.
"Maa if you don't mind mujhe Sidharth se baat karni hai", Shehnaaz proposed once they were done with the roka ceremony that took place a few minutes back, second meeting of theirs and they were engaged already, Roka ceremony brings official confirmation of the consent of boy and girl, that they are getting married.It can be considered as stamping the boy and the girl with the title of "booked and engaged".Both the families gather for the first time and exchange sweets and gifts. Only their case was different, the usual roka ceremony takes place at the bride's place but theirs held at Sidharth's in Mumbai. Not his choice but Shehnaaz's, In the name of family, there were Maa, Aditi, Ria Di( his elder sister) , her chachi, chacha, Ananya and her parents, nothing like a celebrity does, it was only a family affair and she was thankful for them to be considerate.
"Isme puchna kya hai bacha all yours", Maa spoke smiling and she stood up at once waiting for him to stand too and led them anywhere private
He was not expecting this because she had been too silent the first day they met, she hardly spoke anything that day and this was a total opposite side of hers.
"Idhar hi baat kar le na bacha", her mother spoke which she didn't wanted to listen for her own reasons.
"Sidharth " , she called him softly and he nodded and led her to his room.
"Pyaara hai", she spoke once they entered inside his room, his apartment was a small 3BHK flat simple yet elegant and Shehnaaz loved the simplicity alot.
She met his mother back there in Sri Harmandir Sahib or known as Golden Temple when she had gone to Amritsar with Ananya on a two day trip, but she didn't knew she would get a new life there.
"Kya" He asked amused
" Aapka kamra" She spoke and he nodded.
" Ye bolne ke liye bulaya tha" He spoke when he saw her fidgeting with her ring and she shook her head in a denial.
" I want a simple wedding Sidharth, a very simple wedding in fact, just like today" She spoke and he could tell there's much more to it.
" Baitho pehle idhar ek second " He spoke holding her shoulders but immediately removed his hands not knowing if he was right to do it but she held his hand in both her hands conveying that it was fine.
"Sidharth it's just I have some controversies going on and I really don't want to drag your family in that", she spoke and he mentally noted the point nodding.
" Aur kuch", he asked a little hurt this time, not that he was a lover of all that gatherings as he himself hated the gatherings, it gave him a whiplash so he was fine with it but the way she spoke it has somewhere pinched his heart, wasn't this her family too? Correct there was no love, not even liking at that point but does the marriage as such exists?
"Suniye", she called and he nodded.
" I didn't meant to call them as your family sorry voh flow flow main ho gaya", she spoke and he looked at her shocked, does she reads mind too?
"Nhi " She replied.
"What? " He asked baffled.
"I don't read mind Sidharth but aapke expressions se pta chal gaya", she spoke and he smiled nodding.
" Great then chale" He asked but his actions were betraying him.
"Kahiye kya kehna chahte hai pehle", she asked looking at him intently.
" You won't mind right" He was skeptical.
"Why would I? " She asked not getting his point.
" Why did you agreed for the marriage Shehnaaz, it's not like you know me Or vice versa, in fact we hardly know each other, you are just 23, ek controversy ki vajah se apni puri life barbaad kar dogi kya", he asked.
" Shaadi ke baad kaam karne se rokonge kya", she asked instead of answering.
" Never" He replied without even thinking.
" Jawaab toh aapne khud de diya na, bachpan se I have wanted parents ka pyaar, I don't know why kabhi mila nhi, I have felt that warmth with Maa, Aur aap puche ki shaadi mujhse karni hai Maa se nhi toh uska answer bhi aapne de hi diya tha when you were honest about your feelings to this marriage, toh zindagi barbaad kaise hogi meri", she spoke with a different level of confidence in her voice.
" Humara status bahut alag hai Shehnaaz ", he countered.
" Aap mujhse better kamate hai I know, but don't worry Fizool kharche main believe nhi karti main", she spoke seriously
" What! No I meant was, I'm a doctor, nobody knows me and you are a budding actor, don't you think professional mismatch hai", he spoke.
" Matter nhi karta Sidharth", was all she could reply at the moment.
" Bahut bada hoon main tumse " He thought of a reason again and she sighed.
" Sirf 8 saal Sidharth, 31 ke hai 50 ke nhi ", she countered back.
" Age sirf number nhi hota Shehnaaz " He spoke again.
" Aap ye shaadi nhi karna chahte kya mana kar dete yaar, itne pakhand kyun karne hai" She spoke a little irritated.
" Arey" Was all he could say.
" Back out Sidharth if you have so much against it, I could handle everything, but how to fight against someone jiske saath puri life rehna hai I really don't know", she whispered in a much calmer tone.
"Honestly ye shaadi I am doing for Maa Shehnaaz, she liked you as she told me and she has never asked me to marry in these years, agar iss baar bola hai I am sure there is a reason" He stated.
" Compromise kar rahe hai " She asked.
" Nhi, decision mera hai na, I agreed after meeting you that day " He retorted.
" Meeting nhi kehte usse, sirf dekha tha aapne mujhe aur voh monologue type kuch sunaya tha finally" She spoke.
" Ok"
"Bas Ok" She asked.
"Aur kya bolna cahiye " He asked lost somewhere.
" You love someone right" She asked and he was surprised on such a question.
" I don't think I can love someone Shehnaaz, not again" He replied.
" So you want a simple wedding or a private wedding ", he asked after a minute.
" Dono same hi toh hai" She spoke pouting and he felt a twitch in his heart but he didn't acknowledged it.
" Farak hai na baby, Simple matlab toh court marriage bhi ho sakti hai, private matlab underwraps type" He spoke but she was struck at his baby, does he calls everyone like that?
"Aap sab ko baby bolte hai?" She couldn't help but ask.
" Almost haan" He shrugged not realising she was hurt this time, but how would he it's hardly the second time he is meeting her but she hide it perfectly, bachpan ki aadat as she says to not let anyone know she is hurt.
"Private, I want a private wedding Sidharth" She spoke and he nodded it was better he thought, if in future she decides to leave him for a fact she is still very young it won't cause a harm he thought.
He was Contradicting what he said to her but he couldn't help it could he?
He had no answers.
" Jisme aapki family ho meri family ho and maybe thode friends and relatives", she continued.
" I'm fine with it" He replied and was about to say something again when Aditi and Ananya barged in and they created more distance between themselves as a reflex, not that they were sitting close to each other but still! They weren't lovers!
" Kitni der se andar ho bhaiya aap" aditi complained.
" Shehnaaz itni bhi kya baat karni thi tujhe jiju ke saath" Ananya teased and Sidharth faked a cough. Fucking embarrassing he thought.
" Aap theek hai" Shehnaaz asked tensed seeing him coughing but he nodded.
" Bhaiya you ok" It was Aditi this time and he knew he has himself got in the mess.
" Yeah Aditi" He replied and stood up.
" Aap log yahin rehna chahte ho yaa neeche chale" He asked.
" Baitho na jeeju itni kya jaldi hai" Ananya spoke again and Aditi agreed.
This time it was Shehnaaz who realised why he coughed the last time.
" Ananya yaar" She whined.
" c'mon Shehnaaz rishta thodi badal jaayega " Ananya spoke and he let it be.
" Bhaiya umm Shehnaaz Bhabhi Photos le please " Aditi spoke and Shehnaaz knew bhabhi felt surreal.
"Ok" She whispered but Sidharth cringed.
" Nhi yaar photo nhi please Adi, you know I hate pictures and all" He whined.
" Patni Actress hai aapki jiju kaise jheloge, har waqt cameras rahenge aapke upar" Ananya teased again
" Ananya enough baba" Shehnaaz spoke again and everyone laughed.
" Yeh toh hai but sirf ek alright" He spoke and they nodded.
That one picture turned in many that evening but he didn't complained, it was after 4 years he was enjoying with people and he honestly liked it.
"Dekhiye" , Shehnaaz spoke bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Huh"
"Kitne pyaari hai na" She spoke looking at one of the pictures in her phone.
It was his second favorite picture from all the functions and it was the same picture Ananya clicked.
No it wasn't them, only there hands with the rings flashing but he loved it.
(Her ring and picture in the media box)
"Abhi kyun dekh rahi ho achanak" He enquired and laid down in her lap and she smiled ruffling his hairs, she liked doing it alot.
" Post karni hai na Sidharth " She shrugged but he frowned.
"Kahan par " He asked.
" Insta par Sidharth ye kaisa sawaal hai" She asked again getting busy in her phone
" Kyun lekin" He asked snatching the phone out of her hands.
" Batana padega na Sidharth, aise achanak I can't get pregnant, kiska bacha hai kya bolenge, it's better we do it now" She spoke watching him
" There's no need to let the world know about it" He spoke.
" Sidharth " She gasped.
" Break lena padega na baba, aise kaise " She asked not able to get it.
" Kyun lena hai break Shehnaaz jab ye bacha chaiye hi nhi " He spoke angrily and she looked at him shocked. Why was he such then the whole day, her heart enquired.
Sach toh hai her brain replied.
Kaise, her heart asked again.
He brought the abortion papers right, her brain replied and she fell silent.
Abortion papers which she did signed she registered his words again and she wanted to scream at him for playing with her emotions now but could she?
" You really don't want this child Sidharth" She asked hurt.
" Tumhe nhi chaiye Shehnaaz and I'm really fine with it, koi dikkat nhi hai, no problem at all" He spoke taking her palms in his hands which she removed.
" Toh natak kyun Sidharth, pura din gusse main kyun ghume tum" She spatted.
"Because I felt like a bloody dominant Shehnaaz, khud se dar lag raha tha, I know this wasn't planned and I would have respected your decision you know but you didn't even told it, Maa ko bhi pta tha yaar, sirf mujhe nhi maana pyaar nhi karta but tumhe kabhi kuch karne se rokta nhi dammit main, but tumne kya kiya you signed the abortion papers without thinking or talking " He spatted back equally
" Pyaar nhi karta matlab" She enquired amd he fell silent.
" 3 fucking years Sidharth, ek second main sab jhoota bana diya tumne, what do you mean pyaar nhi karta" , she asked.
" Shehnaaz calm down pehle toh you always knew that right" He spoke sighing.
" Mazaak hai kya, pta hai the first time we got intimate shayad sirf attraction thi and it happened but shaadi hai Sidharth, Not your bachelor life, pyaar nhi hai aur chod do, pyaar eventually ho jaata hai right, mujhe bhi toh hua na phir kyun" She sobbed.
" Care toh karta hoon na Shehnaaz, apni responsibilities toh nibhata hoon right, nhi hai vapis pyaar karne ki himmat mujhme" He spoke.
" Tum abhi bhi vahi stuck ho Sidharth, get over it yaar , 7 saal right, bhoolne ko nhi keh rahi, but try toh karte, har baar was it just lust, no feelings involved " She cried and he knew she is right to cry here.
"Shehnaaz" He tried again.
" Rehne do my fault, I know you were always clear sorry drama kiya maine about this baby, I want this child I am not ready for abortion" She spoke wiping, her tears.
" Mazak nhi chal rha koi script nhi hai tumhari movies ki, you signed the papers right " He asked frustrated with himself more than her.
" Kiye the toh kya, haan gussa thi aap bhi toh aise react karte ho right, nhi socha kuch aur, Aap pyaar nhi karte main karti hoon, I am not aborting this child" She spoke and stood up
" Aur vaise bhi Sidharth abort karna hota toh ussi din kar deti jis din pta chala tha, nhi karna abort mujhe, aapko nhi aana media ke saamne fine I am not posting it, but this child is mine Sidharth, I'm not letting you do this to us", she spoke finding the papers but her eyes we're getting blurred with the tears.
" Shehnaaz" He called her loudly when he realised she wasn't listening anything and he looked at him and found them sitting on the bed in the exact same position,his head in her lap, and her hands in his hairs.
Fuck she was dreaming.
"Kya hua sweetheart",he asked getting tensed when he felt tears on her forehead.
She realised she was crying and wiped her tears after flashing a smile
" Kuch nhi sorry soch rahi thi kuch " She spoke.
"Bataya nhi kyun dekh rahi ho ye picture aaj achanak" He spoke taking her palm in his and kissing the ring, he was in love with the way this ring looked on her, back then when he chose this he was not sure if she would like it or not but he really hoped she likes because this was the first step from his side, choosing a ring at his own was the first step he took for this relationship, in arrange marriages you don't know what your partners would like but he don't know how but he felt she would like this.
" Kuch nhi post karni hai " She shrugged.
" Insta par " He asked.
" Hmm" she nodded.
" Lekin kyun you wanted to keep it private right" He asked still not getting up.
" Haan lekin kitne saal na Sidharth, Kabhi toh batana padega then why not now", she shrugged.
"Abhi aisa kya hua achanak" He asked closing his eyes.
" This baby Sidharth" She replied and waited for him to say something but he stayed silent.
" You want this child Shehnaaz" He asked after a moment getting up and gazing her intently.
" Aapko chaiye right" She spoke and it was not a question he knew.
" Mujhe chaiye ya nhi, pata nhi honestly nhi pata you have to take your own decision jaise dopahar main liya tha obviously vaise nhi shaant dimaag se" He spoke.
" Aapko nhi chaiye sachi" She asked again hoping for something positive
" Unplanned tha na Shehnaaz nhi pta kaise react karoon, aisa nhi hai I don't want kids I do want them but pata nhi" He spoke honestly
" Toh pura din muh sada kar kyun ghume, jab I.... Papers... " She chocked.
" Because tumpar gussa tha, Maa knew it you knew it and what about me, ek baar mera haq tha right, shayad jaan ne ka, shayad discuss karne ka, bacha toh mera bhi hai na Shehnaaz ", he spoke and he closed her eyes getting tired.
" Bas yahi reason tha" She asked in a whisper and he hummed.
What does she wanted to hear, that he loves her, but wasn't he clear from the very start that he feels he can't love anyone back, bahut clear tha na, but aren't three years enough?
" Shehnaaz kya hua hai, think about it na baba talk out, kuch soch lenge, I won't pressurise you because I'm not sure myself" He replied.
" I need it Sidharth, I don't want an abortion " She was confident this time.
Here's the next update.
No cliffhanger this time.
I hope it was worth a read.
How are you finding the story.
Do let me know.
Note: I have published Chapter 17,18 of Iztiraar (Edited) .
Do read it and let, me know how is it going now.
Love
Aaradhya Arora
❤