Althoug I've had my brute awakening I'm still not sure of anything. As I put my hand against the glass the cold stings but the frost on the window sill looks so serene. I lean my head against the wall. How could the pack believe that me and Scar could be mates? How could they be OK with him marking a little cub?
Suddenly the door is thrown open. Scar growls to me in his wolf shape and I shake my head compleatly forgetting about yesterday's evening.
"What? No they can't come yet" I disbelieve him. The giant black wolf grumbles at me again.
"But how could they be here already?" I refuse, but at this he snarls angrily making me silent. When I don't move he barks at me.
"OK, I'll go, just let me get dressed" I mutter and fight my way out of the covers. It takes a lot of strength to leave them. They smell like him and I can't bring my body to refuse his smell. I bask in it like a dog in a pond.
Hurrying around the room I drag my black shirt on but my eyes catch a black shape outside in the snow. Scar is running big circles around the house for some reason. What in the name of the moon is he doing?
I get so confused I fall over while pulling my sock on and land poorly on my side. Knowing that he is already waiting and seeing how is behaving VERY strangely already I feel the stress grow. Suddenly he howls and I feel his fury down my spine. I almost fear the dark will take him over.
What if he kills me now? That would end all my suffering.
When my feet sink into the snow outside the door he finally stops running and comes trotting around the corner. My horrified stare can't be controlled but he just trots inside. Not dead yet. Just living in fear.
I kick the snow around me, sending it flying. Something cold that makes it hard to move climbs up my wrists. I close my hands tightly to warm them. His paw prints in the white are deep but not that big. Though mine aren't either. My knees bend and I let my hand pat at the snow. It's so cold it almost hurts. Last night zing past me again. It hits me in the chest and takes my breath away. The corners of my eyes sting but I keep the tears in as I let a handfull of snow melt and drip down my fingers.
"Out of the way" Scar suddenly grunts and pushes past me. I fling myself out of the way and land on my side. The snow risps my face as I land in it but he just walks away. I brush the clusters of snow off before they can melt but my face is burning.
This is my mate. This is what I'm worth. Why did the moon even bother to make a wolf like me? I'm so pathetic I'm no better than a human.