THIRTY FIVE ;
trophy wife
real life !
Wilbur wasn't sure when it started raining. Him and Evelyn had been walking back to his house from their spot at the beach, and he was far too focused on whatever rant she had decided to go off on to immediately notice the light rain. It was like he was completely oblivious to the world around him once she latched onto his hand and started to talk.
He didn't think he'd be able to focus on anything else completely when she was in the room. ( he didn't think he'd ever want to ).
Apparently, he was too distracted to notice a lot of things, if the small group of girls trying to subtly follow them said anything. Once again, he wasn't sure how long they had been there, but he knew for a fact that they had already seen them holding hands. And depending on how long they'd been trailing after them, they potentially could have seen him pull her in for a brief kiss.
If Evelyn noticed, and she probably did, she did not seem to care.
"Hi! Um, sorry to bother you...would it be okay if I got a picture with you? I'm a huge fan..." One of the girls who had approached them trailed off as she noticed Evelyn at his side. Her eyes briefly landed on their hands, before she cleared her throat and offered them a shy smile. "Actually...Wilbur, could you take a picture of me and Evelyn? That is, if you're okay with your picture being taken. If not, don't even worry! Completely fine. Sorry for even asking—,"
Evelyn offered her a gentle smile before moving to stand next to her, "sure thing, love. Wil, take our picture?"
The girls friends stood off to the side, trying and failing to conceal their laughter at Wilburs frown.
"The way you started made me think you wanted a picture with me," he muttered, taking her phone from the girls outstretched hand. "This really isn't the way I thought this was going to go, not gonna lie."
Evelyn playfully narrowed her eyes at him and raised an eyebrow, "are you saying i'm too much of a loser to have anybody want to take a picture with me? Because i'll have you know, this is not the first time i've been asked. Pisses George off like nothing else whenever we're out together."
"I'm your biggest fan," the girl chimed in with a grin, "you should consider streaming! Every time you've been on George's stream has been so funny and entertaining. I'd be your first follower—,"
"Absolutely not," Wilbur interrupted, looking highly unamused. "It would be me, surely."
Evelyn stifled her laughter and turned towards the laughing girl beside her.
"What's your name?"
"Carrie," she replied sheepishly.
"Lovely to meet my biggest fan! Take our picture, Wil. You've kept my bestie Carrie waiting for far too long."
Wilbur glared at her and took a few pictures before handing Carrie her phone back. "For the record, i'm her biggest fan. Always. You can be number two."
Carrie shrugged and pocketed her phone, "You know what they say...second the best. I can live with that. Thanks for the picture, Evelyn!" She hesitated before glancing between them again, "Is it okay if I tweet this picture? I won't mention, um...that," she gestured to their interlocked fingers, "if you don't want me to. I just want to flex my Evelyn Hart picture."
"Fine by me," Evelyn shrugged. "Have a great rest of your day."
Carrie grinned, "you as well!"
The couple watched as she ran back to her friends. The second they turned around and started walking away, Wilbur pouted at Evelyn.
"You hurt my feelings."
Evelyn glanced up at him and tilted her head slightly, feigning confusion. "How?"
"Im your biggest fan! Me. Nobody else—,"
"I think a few people would argue that point—,"
"—and you didn't even defend my honor! Evelyn, light of my life, you are the actual worst."
She snorted and tugged on his hand. "You're so dramatic. Come on, it's freezing out here.
Wilbur, however, didn't even budge.
"Wil."
He shook his head, "No. Nope. Uh uh. I'm not going anywhere until you apologize for hurting my feelings. I'll stand here and freeze to death before I go back home with my wounded pride. The knife you so brutally stabbed into my back needs to be taken out immediately, otherwise i'll literally rot from the inside and die. Do you want me dead, Evelyn? I thought you loved me," he proceeded to wipe away a fake tear from under his eye, "I didn't realize two months was all it took for you to fall out of love and decide to hate my guts. This is awful, i'll never love again."
"are you done?" she asked, unimpressed.
"Am I done? Are you telling me to simply get over my trauma? Is that what you're telling me? I think you might want to consider career choices, darling. Because frankly that was pretty shit advice."
Evelyn let out an exasperated sigh before letting go of his hand, "Fine. Freeze out here and i'll go start listing all of your belongings on ebay—,"
"Evelyn! You're just going to leave me out here to die? What the fuck!?" He exclaimed, rushing to her side as she began to walk away. "Don't you love me?"
"Stop trying to emotionally manipulate me," she deadpanned, making Wilbur laugh loudly.
"I'm not trying to emotionally manipulate you! I just want to know you'll miss me when I freeze to death!"
"I will," she started, turning to grin evilly up at him. "But after I auction off your hairbrush for a million dollars i'll just get a dog, name him Wilbur, and learn to move on with my life."
Wilbur was silent for a few minutes before he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. "You seem like you've thought about this too much, Evie. I don't know how to feel about that."
"At least you know I could be someone's trophy wife if you tragically perish out of nowhere. I'm sure millions of fourteen year old girls would pay a good amount of money for anything that belongs to you...belonged, I guess."
Wilbur pouted as they neared his front door, "I want you to be my trophy wife, not some other losers. Stop trying to get rid of me. You're stuck with me forever—we have a star together and everything!"
"I'm just saying I wouldn't end up homeless and vulnerable on the streets of brighton."
"Okay, i'm finished talking about my death," he announced, holding the door open for her. "Let's talk about what your 'biggest fan' asked."
"What did she ask?"
"If you'd ever consider streaming. Becoming a content creator. All that shit," he answered. "want hot chocolate?"
"Yes to the hot chocolate, absolutely not to streaming."
"How come?" he called as he walked into the kitchen. "It's not all that bad, you know."
Evelyn sat on the barstool and wrinkled her nose at him. "Are you joking? It sounds like hell. Actual hell. I'm perfectly fine just being friends with streamers, thank you very much."
"Did you just friend zone me!?" he gasped, slapping a hand over his heart.
She sighed heavily at him, "No, dummy. I was talking about George. Besides, the world doesn't know we're 'dating' so being friends with streamers felt appropriate."
"Why'd you put quotes around dating!?"
"You're so easy," she teased, watching as he only blinked in her direction.
"are you calling me a whore? Im not easy, Evelyn—,"
Evelyn interrupted him as she facepalmed, "You know that's not what I meant."
"I know," he admitted with a grin, "but it was funny."
"I'm glad you find my pain funny."
"You've literally been emotionally wrecking me for the last hour. You have no room to talk," he shot back, placing a mug down in front of her. "I've been thinking...what if the world did know?"
It was Evelyns turn to stare blankly at him. "You're the one who insisted on being completely private, Wil."
"And we can be! We can be private and they can also know to stop shipping me with other people. Besides, it wouldn't be so bad to give them a little GoldHart content every once in a while. Breaking the internet is one of my favorite hobbies, you know."
She stared at him for a few seconds before shrugging, "I'm fine with you saying something. Might get people to finally stop begging me to date George."
"They probably won't stop completely," he admitted, reaching over to take her hand. "But most will. I hope, at least."
"What are you going to say?" She asked, choosing not to comment on sad fact that was probably true. "Hey guys! GoldHart is real! Bye!"
He grinned and moved to look through his phone. "I'm just going to post a picture of you, that's all."
"Nothing ugly!"
"Don't be stupid, Evs. You couldn't take a bad picture if you tried," he said, fondness basically dripping off every word. "Except for maybe some of the face time pictures I have of you, but you're still hot. Eleven out of ten, always."
Evelyn flicked his forehead, making him swat her hand away. "Careful, you might mess me up and i'll end up posting one of those monstrosities."
"I can't stand you."
"And I love you more than anything," he replied easily. "Okay, it's posted...oh. Have we forgotten to tell a few people?"
Evelyn frowned slightly at him, "who?"
"Your mother," he winced. "this isn't a your mom joke, I swear. I forgot she follows me on twitter and she's literally calling me right now."
Evelyn glanced down at his phone, eyes wide. "Don't answer. She's going to yell at you."
"At me?"
"Yeah, why would she yell at me? Her pride and joy, her favorite child, her...oh. Now she's calling me. And also spamming in the group chat with my brother, my step dad and my actual dad. This is going to be interesting. Hope you're ready to meet the family!"
"Wait—,"
When Evelyn answered the phone call, they were met with various shouts. Wilbur could barely make out any of what they said, but he could vaguely hear a male voice repeatedly calling her a traitor.
Evelyn quickly moved the camera towards him and said, "Rumors are true, this is Wil. Bye!"
And then she hung up, leaving a pale faced Wilbur.
"What's wrong?" She asked, reaching out to poke his forehead.
"I am terrified to meet your family in person," he admitted. "Your mom is going to hate me forever because we waited so long to tell her."
Evelyn waved him off, "She's actually going to start crying and cling to us when she inevitably makes us come over for dinner. It'll be fine, I promise."
"Will I meet your brother?"
She nodded excitedly, "yep! Don't worry, he's harmless. His fiancé however..."
"Yay," he cheered with absolutely no emotion. "Cant wait."
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Wilbur Soot @WilburSoot
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