Hongjoong hummed a sweet tune as he walked through the swinging glass doors of his favorite cafe. The sweet scents of freshly baked goods being placed in the display case and coffee and teas being brewed just a few steps behind them. The small brunette love the sweet and fluffy atmosphere the mom and pop instilled in him as he got in to order. He couldn't help but remember the first time he had been here and the joy it had brought him. 'I can't believe that was almost 8 years ago'. Hongjoong smiled softly as he thought back to how nervous Bang chan had been on that day. He could barely get a sentence out without stuttering or tripping over his words,yet it never fails to bring a small giggle of smile out of the smaller man. It was one of the most memorable first dates he had ever had. He knew by the end of it all, when he had jumped on his bed and screamed in happiness into his pillow that he had fallen in love. And what a person to fall in love with.
"Sir we're ready for you when you're ready to order?" Hongjoong was snapped from his daydream as the small barista called out to him.
"Oh im sorry!"
"No worries sir what can I get you?!"
"Just a chain tea, medium please."
"OK! any name I can get for that order?"
"Kim hongjoong." He held in a chuckle as the baristas gasp.
"Oh my gosh, I love all of your work! I have like every season of slit skirts you designed! I'm so sorry I didnt recognize you,Hyung!" Hongjoong felt his cheeks just a little pink as the small girl gushed his praises.
"Thank you for your past support. Its so much."
"Of course hung! Ill get this out as soon as possible!"
"Thank you but how much is it?" Hongjoong asked as he dug through his pants pocket for his wallet.
"Oh no charge! On the house!" The small girl said before she rushed off to make his drink. The small man just shrugged and shook his head softly as he settled down at a small peach table near some large glass windows before pulling out his phone.
Me:
Hey! I just got to the cafe. The barista recognized me and freaked out you gonna be on your way soon?❤
My world❤❤
Yes I'm heading over now. I had to grab something from the studio. Thats crazy BTW its been years since you quit I'm surprised people still remember.
Me
Yeah ik its wild she seemed hardcore tho. Anyway what did you need to grab?
My world❤❤
Just something we needed to talk about ill see you soon.
Me
Oh....OK see you soon.
Hongjoong sighed softly as he put his phone away. 'He's been acting so different recently.' The small man thought as he idlely tapped a rhythm on the table. 'First it was not holding my hand in public then no kisses then I couldn't tell anyone we were engaged and now this distance.' The brunnet couldn't help the uneasy feeling that settled in his chest. 'What if chan wants to leave me' He immediately shook the thought from his head as his name was called d at the front counter. 'Thats rediculous we've been together for 8 years. If he wanted to leave he would have left ages ago.' Hongjoong sighed as he quickly grabbed his drink and settled back into his table. Just as he was bringing the steaming goodness to his lips a gleam of a small jewel on his ring finger caught his attention.
He smiled sweetly as the small sapphire glistened in the soft setember sun and stood out beautifully against the soft white cup. He admired the small ring with pure love and adoration as he placed his cup down gently. He couldn't help the sweet and gooey feeling that filled his chest, his doubt's from earlier long forgotten as he played with the jewelry. His smile widened as memories of his fiances proposal came flooding back to him as he gazed at the small gem. 'God he saved up everything for this. He would never leave me. Espeacially after a day like that.' He remembered when the warm and fuzzy feeling had first consumed him 2 years ago. He remembered the way his fiance had spent hours making sure the day had gone perfect. He had taken him to his favorite clothing shop before taking him to the cafe across the street for a drink and chit chat, then a drive around town before finally having a picnic in a large flower field in the park they had met. He chuckled softly as he remembered the nervous wreck his love was as the sun slowly set, the time to pop the question getting closer by the second. Hongjoong smiled sweetly as he replayed the mans sweet speech in his head.
Hongjoong ever since we first met I knew I felt something deeper for you. I knew I didn't want to just be that guy you ran into at the park, late for work and in a rush. I wanted to be more than the guy you promised to buy him another coffee for the one he spilled. More than the guy that you just happened to keep meeting in this park and eventually became friends with. I wanted more than that. Still! I thought I was selfish and I already had the best I could get. I already had that sweet smile amd cute laugh i could hear and see everyday. I already got to look into your pretty eyes. I already got to hug and cuddle you. I had already had those things as your friend. It was selfish to ask for more. But then you made my dream come true. we became boyfriends and I was over the moon. But now I want to ask you to make just one more dream come true and let me have you for the rest of my life.
Hongjoong recalled his eyes filling with tears the second he had pulled out the small velvet box and opened it. The small sapphire shinning softly in the sweet pink and orange rays of the sunset. The way he had screamed yes and tackled the poor man to the ground,kissing him within a inch of his life before the love of his life slipped the ring on his finger. The small man was pulled from his happy reminesing when he heard the small door bell chime softly. He quickly looked towards the sounds a bright smile gracing his face when he saw a head of short red hair.
"Chan, baby! Over here!" The short man gently called out to his fiance, waving his hand as the boy looked up, locking eyes. Hongjoong cocked his head slightly when the boy didnt smile back at him and the expression that had slither onto his face wasn't his usual one of love but.....remorse and even shame. 'Maybe he had a bad day at the studio?' The smaller man thought as his fiance appeared to be talking to someone just out of sight. Just as hongjoong got up from his seat to pull the other man to their table a small girl revealed herself and stood next to chan. He couldn't shake the bad feeling that had started to work up his spine as he got closer to the two. "How was the studio?" The small man asked as he wrapped his arms around the others neck. He noticed at the corner of his eye the girl had seemed to grimance at the small show of affection, the uneasy feeling intensifying in his stomache. "And who is this? Another producer?"
"No. She's not a producer. But this is mai, she works at the studio with producers." Chan said coldly as he gently pushed hongjoongs chest, trying to get him to let go. Hongjoong looked at his fiance with concern and hurt as he dropped his arms, dejected.
"Nice to meet you." Mai said coldly as she held out her hand in slight disgust. Hongjoong bit the inside of his cheek to keep from spewing the less than respectful words he had for the girls behavior.
"Likewise." Hongjoong forced out as he shook her hand, a tight smile on his face. "Anyway baby why did you wanna meet here in such a rush?"
"Um we just needed to talk about something important." Chan said avoiding the other mans gaze.
"Oh OK... Chan are you OK? Did the contract signing today not go well?" Hongjoong put a hand on Chan's shoulder and the other on his face, turning it towards him in a attempt to get him to finally look at him.
"No it went fine." Chan said as he pushed hongjoongs hands off him, ignoring the hurt that had started to manifest in the smaller mans eyes.
"Are you sure? You seem upset." Hongjoong couldn't help but curl in on himself slightly at the mans behavior. 'Why can't you look at me like you used to?'
"Look hongjoong can we just sit down?! Ill tell you everything in a minute." The short boy jumped at chans harsh tone as Mai simply chuckled at his reaction. Hongjoong just nodded softly as he walked Chan and Mai to their table, unware of the nervous look change had shot to the revenette girl. He quickly slid back into his chair as chan sat across from him and Mai simply stood by his side,looping their arms together. 'Why are you letting her just do that?!' Hongjoong thought as fiddled with his now cold tea.
" OK what is so important? And why is Mai here?"
"I'm just here to make sure Chanie goes through with this little conversation." Mai said as she lightly ran her hand through Chan's hair.
"Really? And you know what this conversation is about why?" Hongjoong sneered
"You'll find out soon enough." Mai chuckled as she cuddled closer to his fiance. HIS FIANCE.
"OK would you stop that!"
"Stop what?" The short girl actually sounded shocked, hongjoong was surprised she had another trait aside from bitchy.
"That! Being lovey dove with my Fiance. We've been together for years and I don't take to kindly to you throwing yourself at him." Hongjoong could feel some peoples eyes on them, he didn't care he just wanted Mai off of change.
"Hongjoong, will you please quite down! You're making a scene!" Chan frantically whisper yelled, only fueling hongjoongs annoyance.
"Why does it matter? And why are you not telling her off and I have to!"
"Its not that big of a deal alright!"
"It kind of is when you're sitting across from your fiance with a chick he barely knows hanging off of you!"
"Would you stop saying that out loud! Someone is gonna get the wrong idea!" Chan quickly covered his mouth as the sentence left but it was already too late. Hongjoong felt the uneasy feeling from before turn ice cold, he felt his heart start to crack.
"What do you 'get the wrong idea' chan?" He say Mai roll her eyes at the hurt evident in his voice while chan looked as if he was stuck in a snow storm. Frozen and hopeless.
"Baby, I-I didn't mean it the way your thinking okay." Chan stuttered as he reached for the smaller mans hand, hurt growing in his eyes as hongjoong snatched his hand away from him.
"Then in what way did you mean chan?"
"Yeah, what way did you mean?" Mai pushed, a sneer on her face as she looked between the couple.
"I-uh I meant-"
"Chan would you stop stringing him along and tell him why we're really here." Hongjoong looked between the two in anticipation as the red head looked at the girl with a look of grief before turning back to him.
"What does she mean, Chan?" The small man didn't think he really wanted know the answer.
"She means....Hongjoong you have to understand I didn't want to but it was the only way they'd sign me."
"Just spit out Chan."
"You have to promise me you'll try to understand."
"Chan, what happened?" Hongjoong said coldly as the boy looked at him with shock. He saw how chan also curled into himself, just the way he did moments before. 'Doesn't feel good feeling less than someone huh?'
"Can we at least still be friends after today?"
"That depends strictly on what you tell me."
"Would you quit dragging this out. We have a shoot in like half a hour hyung!" Mai exclaimed as he placed her dainty hands on her hips. Hongjoong tried to tell himself that maybe, just maybe, Chan was acting. That he would tell him that he finally got everything in order for the wedding. That they would be husbands finally . It didnt seem like any god out there was listening to him .
"Honjoong im so sorry. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without your love and support. I know how much that love has kept us afloat. But we both know we have to make sacrifices sometimes and thats what I had to do to finally get signed and start my career. This was the only way. I'm sorry but...." Chan reached across the table and tried to hold the fragile mans hand again. "Mai and I are having a affair."
A heart shattering like glass and the blood in his veins freezeing over was all that Hongjoong could hear as his eyes filled with tears he had been holding back for so long. He shook his head in disbelief as Mai seemed to relish in the finally broken mans anguish. When he pulled his hand away from the other boy and finally looked him in the eye all chan did was stare at the floor in shame.
"Chan say your lying. Say this is a sick joke. Say you don't mean it. Say that you gave up the contract instead of hurting me like this." Honjoong begged as his voice started to quiver. When the other man didnt say anything Hongjoong knew the red head had thrown away all of the years they shared away. The kisses. The hugs. The I love yous. The dates. All of it meant nothing. "Chan.....you promised me. You said you would never hurt me like the others. W-why? Why did you lie to me?"
Slowly a trickle of tears started to flow freely down his cheeks. Chan finally locked eyes with him, broken mahogany meeting shameful dark chocolate.
"Sweetheart please don't cry." Chan whispered as he lifted a hand up to wipe the tears he had caused off of the delicate boys face only to have it slapped away.
"Don't call me that! Not anymore. Not when i know you dont mean it." Chan sighed softly as Mai rubbed his back. "Tell me why you just went along with it. Why you pushed the man that loved you than anything away. Why is she better."
"I don't know hon. I swear I tried to find anyway I could around it. But they said it was impossible. Said if I didnt do it I could kiss the stage good bye. Beside Mai she.... Well she... "
"She what chan?"
"She made more sense. You know how fast I've been growing and I appreciate everything you have done to help me get to where I am. I couldn't thank you more for that. But we....we don't mesh like I thought we used to. I'm sorry." Hongjoong felt the tears cascading down his face,staining the soft peach tabletop orange. After everything they had done together, everything he had given up for the man sitting in front of him, he had locked everything about who he really is away just so chans career wouldn't suffer. Now none of it mattered. None of the hurt or pain or shame had mattered. It was like Chan had blew out the candle that was their love and now hongjoong was nothing but the forgotten ashes settled on top of the once beautiful wax.
"You cant really exspect him to give up his career for you?" Mai chuckled as hongjoong finally looked at her hurt and pain still evident in his gaze. "Besides I doubt you have given up anything even remotely as important for him. What could someone like you even have had to give up."
"Mine."
"What?"
"Mine Mai. My career. Did he ever tell you or anyone at that contract signing about what I did before we met?" Hongjoong couldn't help but chuckle sadly as a look of surprise. "I used to be a fashion designer. Actually that whole outfit you're wearing I designed. I made all of my pieces by hand and worked my ass off to get them on my first runway show. After some help and donations from some of my closest friends I was finally able to get my peices out there. I ended up being considered a luxury brand that normal people could actually afford and I quickly got sponsors. Celebrities had started requesting clothes for me and runway shows begged for me to work for them. After years of hard work, broken sewing machines, and struggle. My dream career finally came true and I was known all around the world for my art. I couldn't be happier. Until I met Chan that day in the park when I was running late for a meeting with officials that ran the grammys in the US. I thought that if I didn't have him I didn't know happiness. As we got closer and closer and started dating tabloids and rumors started to spread."
"About you being good enough for him?"
"No about chan not being good enough for me. I was too successful to have a boyfriend that wasn't in the spotlight 24/7 no matter how hard he was trying to get there. I put my career on hold so I could get him in contact with friends I had in the music industry. When he started to blow up slowly I still knew people would think the same thing if I came back so I never did. I retired in my prime so people would focus more on the great things the love of my life had to offer. I wanted people to love chan for his talent not because he was with me." Hongjoong finished as he saw the girls face drop. "So when I say I gave up everything for him I meant it."
"And i couldn't be more thankful for it all but hongjoong you need to understand why I had to do this."
"No chan im a afraid i dont understand. I gave up my career for love. You gave up our love for your career. After everything I did for you. I changed myself so much for you. I gave up everything for you. I even gave up what was possibly my only chance to live my dream for you. Did any of that matter to you? Did any of my sacrifices mean a damn thing?!"
"Of course they meant something! They meant everything to me!"
"Then why did you cheat!? Why did you take this outrageous condition to a contract that you could have gotten from anyone else!?"
"Because i can't be seen with a man anymore OK! It will jeopardize everything I did to get to this point! The music industry isn't like the fashion one Hongjoong! Being gay or big isn't okay when you work in it!" It was like the world caved in. That was the cement that settled the one thought that hongjoong was hoping chan would never fall victim to. The world can't know he's bi. The world can't know he chose a man over a women. The world can't know he wanted to spend the rest of his life with a man. The world can't know about hongjoong.
"So thats it. You're ashamed of me. So much so that you can't even fight for me."
"No. Shit. Baby thats not what I meant!"
"Quit calling me that. I should've known when you started calling me that you never saw me as your man." Hongjoong looked at the sapphire on his finger with regret before slipping it off, relishing in the way Chan looked at him with shock and hurt. "I was always your boy. Nothing more. It didnt matter how much i fought for us. You wouldnt have ever done the sane. The man sitting in front of me isnt the one i fell for 8 years ago."
"Wait no, Hongjoong i still am! I swear i still am you gotta believe that i still love you i just did this for my career to take off and when it does well get married just like we planned to!" Chan rambled as he scrammbled to grab the man he had broken as he got out of his seat.
"Im sorry Bang chan but i cant trust a word you say anymore. You changed to much for me to but I hope your career continues to grow and I hope you and Mai are happy. Just like I thought we were. Goodbye chan, have a good life." With that hongjoon wiped the tears from his cheeks with his sweater sleeve as he grabbed the other mans hand and placed the ring in the other palm before closing his fingers around it. He blocked out Chan's pleas for him to comeback and talk this through more as he rushed after him to the door. 'There is nothing left to talk about.' Hongjoon thought as he walked through the glass doors and down the street leaving his first love and first heartbreak behind. He couldn't stop the tears that continued to flow down his cheeks as he felt a small vibration on his hip. He quickly fished his phone out of his pocket, answering the call without even looking at the Id.
"H-hello?" He sniffles as he tried to wipe the never ending tears from his eyes.
"Hongie? What's wrong?" Hongjoon felt a fresh set of tears run down his face full force as the soft voice of one of his two support systems that stayed with him even though Chan wanted him to push them away.
"NamJoonie." Hongjoon cried into speaker as he heard shuffling over the line.
"Hongjoong what happened? Why are you crying?"
"Namjoon, you were right. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry."
"Hey hey hey, its okay. What do mean I was right?"
"About chan,he cheated on me. He gave up everything we had for a stupid contract." Hongjoon sniffles as he heard his friend go silent on the other line "Joonie?"
"Thats it, I'm gonna kill him."
"Joonie no! I- its fine."
"No it is not! You two are engaged for TWO YEARS and dated for even longer and he cheats on the only person that had did everything for him! You invented him hongie!"
"No i didn't and we were engaged. I just broke everything off with him."
"Good he didn't deserve you! Anyway where are you?" Hongjoon raised his eyebrow in confusion at the other mans question.
"I don't know. Um..." Hongjoon looked around area that he had mindlessly started to explore in favor of being as far away from chan as possible. His eyes landing on the shop that had lit a small flame of nostalgia in his chest."I'm across the street from that old boutique you me and felix met."
"Aww pastel dreams! Damn I miss that place. Oh! Felix's bakery is right down the street from there! You remember the name right?"
"Of course I remember the name I was there for the grand opening. Why?"
"Meet me and fe there. You are in dire need of your best friends right now." Hongjoong heard the soft jungle of keys and door being shut on the other line.
"But-"
"No buts don't fight me on this hongie. We are here for you, let us be." The short man finally let a small smile grace his face as he giggled softly.
"OK. I'll see you there Joonie."
"You better." Namjoon said with a small chuckle as he hung up. Hongjoon sighed softly as he made his way to sweet haven a small pang of happiness filling his chest softly at the fact that he can see his best friends again after so long. Completely unaware that with just a small push from the two would lead him down a rode filled with more happiness than chan could have ever given him.