a change of heart

draft 7

i've always heard about those love stories that either work out or they don't, but no one ever talks about the inbetween — where you're stuck between loving them but also knowing deep down that this was no longer good for you.
knowing this, you still keep your head down and your mouth shut, waiting until it was time. it was like having sleep paralysis and being scared to death, and you know you should look away but yet you watch the figure in the corner reach out and squeeze the air out of your lungs. it was this odd feeling of comfort and fear that comes washing over you, but still you keep your eyes open and pretend that it isn't happening. until one day it blows up in your face and youre left thinking, where did i go wrong?
deep down you already knew the answer to that question...deep down you knew it couldn't be ignored. but it's hard when you've invested so much time in each other for things to just fall apart. what is the point? you feel the world around you spinning but you're left frozen. it feels like you're the only one who can't get past this; the only one who's stuck with a rope around your neck.
you don't know if there's a way to save it this time. you've been here before and yet you're still trying to save it. when will this cycle end?
you keep thinking, this is it. we're done. but then you see them. and the cycle repeats — you're happy and making the same old promises again...
until the chair you've been balancing on for years finally falls over.