"But I can't show you me...
Give you me...
So I wear a mask to visit you..."
I followed Jungkook outside the mansion. He walked into the garden. Then he stood and looked at me.
This is the first time I enter his garden.
The garden was well maintained and beautiful. The lush green trees were filled with juicy fruits, and flowers were blossoming on the shrubs. A nightangle's nest could be spotted on a tall tree, and there was a small pond surrounded by pebbles and stones.
This is my dream garden.
I was so busy admiring the beauty of the garden, that I didn't notice Jungkook staring at me.
POV : Jeon Jungkook
I was looking at the mesmerized Susan, who was admiring the beauty of the garden. I never saw her more surprised than now.
She looks so pure and innocent right now. No one would think that this Susan is the same woman who tackled down the Eagle's men and saved me, the woman who faced the Eagle with roaring confidence and the woman who nearly killed the Eagle.
She looks like a baby who's seen a garden for the first time.
Why do I feel this way?
What is this thing that I'm feeling?
I'm confused and afraid. I don't know this emotion.
Maybe I'm just overreacting. I've never been in close contact with women for such a long time, so maybe I'm just new to this.
"This.... is beautiful..." Susan said, looking everywhere.
"It is..." I said. "It's mainted by me after all."
Susan shot her head towards me. "Huh? You take care of this garden?"
"Yeah." I said. "Why..?"
"Murderers are creative?" Susan muttered, but I heard it.
I bit my lower lip. She also thinks that I'm a murderer.
I have killed before. I am a murderer. But just like Taehyung hyung said, I didn't have a choice. I had to save us..
I shook my head.
"Come, I'll show you something." I said, and started walking towards the pond. I heard Susan following me.
I bent over to the bush beside the pond and saw my little friends.
I smiled to them and sat down on the ground.
"Come, meet my friends." I said. Susan curiously sat beside me.
"Who?" She asked.
"Them." I said, and pointed at my little friends, who were now sitting beside each other and looking at us with big eyes.
Susan looked at them and her lips stretched in a wide smile.
"Kittens!" She squealed and picked one of them up, while the other trotted towards me. "I love kittens!" She said, playing with the kitten.
"Meet their mother." I said, pointing at the newly arrived mother.
"Aww! She's white as snow!" Susan said, as the cat sprawled on her lap and rested her head on her knee.
"That's why I named her Snowhite." I said. Susan looked at me wide eyed.
"You named them?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I said. "Friends have names."
"That's cute." She said. "What is her name?" She asked, holding the half black- half white furrball.
"Daydream." I said.
"Hers?" She asked, now holding the white little kitty who resembled her mother a lot.
"Winter." I said. "Cause she was born in winter."
"And hers?" She said, holding the youngest one of the kittens.
"Chocolate." I said. "I like chocolates so."
"So basically, Daydream, Winter, Chocolate and their mother Snowhite are your friends." Susan said. I nodded.
"What about the father?" Susan asked.
"Well, after Snowhite and her mate had mated, her mate left her here and never came back. So, only her and her children." I explained.
"When did you meet them?" She asked, now patting Daydream and Chocolate.
"I grew up with Snowhite." I said. "So, I saw these three being born."
"Oh." She said. Then she looked at me, her eyes twinkling.
"I also had a cat as my pet." She said.
She's opening up to me.
"Oh yeah?" I asked. She nodded.
"Her name was Heartbeat." Susan said.
"Why?" I asked.
"She had a weak heart condition." Susan said. "So I and my little sister named her Heartbeat."
"So you have a sibling?" I asked.
"Had." She said. "She... and my parents... passed away... when I was 8.."
"Oh... i'm so sorry..." I said, actually meaning what I just told.
Not seeing your mother from birth is a different pain. But seeing your family pass away is another.
"It's okay, I'm fine." She said, smiling. A tint of sadness crossed her face.
"Do you know how they died?" She further continued.
I listened.
"They were attacked.... by a group of Mafia men."
My heart fell. Her parents were Killed?
"My parents were beheaded and my sister was shot." She continued. "I couldn't protect them... I told my sister to not get out of her hiding place. But she didn't listen."
I saw her face fall. She looked like she was about to cry any moment.
"But anyway, let's not ruin this moment with the cute little friends, yeah?" She said, pulling herself together. Then she smiled.
I knew that smile was a fake one, but it looked so realistic. It looked as if she did this for ages.
"It's okay." I said.
Winter licked Susan hands as she giggled like a little child.
"Heartbeat was just like Snowhite," she said. "White as snow. Too bad she was run over by a truck."
I looked at her play with those little kittens. She looked so happy. She looked so calm and composed.
'Susan is someone you can open up to'
Can I really open up to you, Susan?
"You think of me as a Mafia right?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"You are one." She said. "One of the most dangerous and trechourous ones. So yeah, of course."
I sighed mentally. Knew it.
I want to tell you badly... I want to show you who I really am... but I'm afraid...so afraid...
Will you listen to me, Susan?
POV : Kim Susan
I'm sitting in my room right now. It's been 7 hours since me and Jungkook went to the garden and met Snowhite and her kittens Daydream, Winter and Chocolate.
To be honest, Jungkook has given them really cute names.
Winter looked like Heartbeat so bad! Anyone would think that Winter is actually Heartbeat who escaped and came here.
But no, that's impossible. Heartbeat died infront of my eyes. She was run over.
That driver was later charged for drunken driving. But poor little Heartbeat had to be the victim.
Oh I still remember how much I cried for her. Not only that day, but everyday. I and Suzy both buried Heartbeat in the small back garden. We both used to visit her grave everyday.
I'll better stop thinking about this incident. Because the flashbacks of her run over body is coming back to my mind.
Someone knocked on the door. "Coming in." Said a voice, and the door opened, revealing Jungkook with a sharp knife.
Sharp knife?
Is he gonna kill me?
"Are you here to kill me?" I directly asked him. He looked dumbfounded. Then he looked at his knife and laughed.
"No no. I'm here to just see what you're doing." He said. "Whether you're sleeping or strangling the Eagle down."
"Thank you, but I'm in an excellent condition." I said.
"I see." He said. Then he opened his mouth to say something, but paused and looked away. Then he pursed his lips and left the room, locking the room from the outside.
Why did he carry a knife though?
Maybe he's cooking.
Oh about cooking, I'm really hungry and I wanna eat.
I'm going to find Jungkook and ask him where food is.
I exited my room and went down the flight of stairs. I looked into Jungkook's office, but he wasn't there.
I asked one of the gaurds. They told that he's in his room. They showed me his room too, cause I didn't know.
And I just discovered that the room opposite to mine is Jungkook's.
Wow.
I knocked on the door. "You there?"
No response.
"Jungkook?"
No response.
What's going on? Is he sleeping?
Who will be sleeping now?
Should I just barge in? Maybe no? Maybe yes?
I'll knock a few more times.
"Jungkook, open up." I said.
I kept knocking for a good 5 minutes. No one responded.
I was kinda irritated.
So, I just push opened the door, which was unlocked, and entered the room.
There he was, lying on the bed like a dying starfish. His bed sheet was falling down and the bed was a mess.
I inched closer to him. Wait, what is he holding?
Is that a knife?
Jungkook sleeps with a knife?
I sighed. Typical murderer things. He has even fallen in love with his knife.
But wait, what are those bruises on his arms?
There are deep cuts on his arm. Some look fresh, some look old.
I observed his knife carefully. There was a bit of something on the sharp surface of the knife.
I observed even more carefully.
Is that..... blood?
Did he kill?
I looked around the room. No, he didn't.
Then I looked at his arms, then at his knife again.
....self harm?
He.... self harms...?
That's the only answer of the whole situation now.
What did he want to tell me back then when he came to my room?
Should I wake him up?
"What are you doing here?" A hoarse voice asked.
I flinched and looked at the owner of the voice, who was looking directly in my eyes.
"Do you self harm?" I asked him straightforward. He furrowed his eyebrows. Then he looked at his knife and quickly threw it away.
"N-no." He said. "Why are you here?"
"Intially I came here to ask for food, but I found you laying like a dead starfish." I said. "So I wanted to see whether you're actually dead or not."
Jungkook scoffed.
"Now be honest," I said. "Do you self harm?"
"I don't understand-"
"Do you?" I asked again.
"That doesn't concern you." He said roughly.
"Your hyung used to self harm too." I said, surprising Jungkook. "So it's like a thread, I guess."
Jungkook kept quite.
"Why though?" I asked, not knowing why I asked, and sat beside him on his bed.
"And look at your bed. It's a mess." I said, crunching my face in disgust while pointing at his bed.
"Why would I tell you why?" Jungkook said, looking away.
"Oh, you're right." I said, realizing that I shouldn't ask him that. "But those wounds look so bad." I said, looking at his arms.
Suddenly an idea popped up in my head.
I threw his hand away and ran to my room. I opened the first aid kit and took out the ointment and ran back to Jungkook's room.
I then again sat beside him and started applying the ointment on his wounds.
He flinched. "It hurts" he whined.
"Face the consequences." I said.
Jungkook started at me. Then after sometime he asked, "Why are applying ointment on my wounds?"
POV : Jeon Jungkook
"Well, because you're hurt." She said.
"No, I mean, why would you care for someone whom everyone, you too, hate so much?" I asked.
"Well," she said, looking at my eyes. "No matter good or bad, you're a human."
"Huh?"
"You maybe a trechourous devil, but you're a human after all." She said. "You're a human who feels pain, and has many emotions in him. And being another human being, it's my duty to help my fellow human in every way possible."
"You might be my enemy, someone I hate with passion, and a disgusting swiggly worm," she said. "But after all, you're a human who sometimes needs help."
I was shocked by her answer. No one ever talked to me like that.
I mean, no one thought of me as a 'human'. I'm a monster to everyone.
Not that I myself regarded myself as a human very much.
She went back to applying the ointment. "You know what," she continued. "Even I don't know exactly why I'm helping you. But my gut is telling me that you need my help sometimes, and my gut has never betrayed me. So I just listen to my feeling."
I stared at her.
So, she is this?
"Still, why would you be helping ME?" I said, emphasizing the 'me'.
"Come on," she said. "I'm not helping The Jeon Jungkook now, I'm helping someone who is hurt and needs help."
I looked at her. Taehyung hyung was right. She is someone one can open up to.
But just like I said before, I'm afraid.
No, not afraid to open up....
....but afraid of what her reaction would be after hearing everything...
"Oh wait," Susan said. "Back then before you left my room, you were about to say something. What was it?"
Was I that obvious?
"Nothing." I said. "I was about to yawn."
Susan looked at me with a 'I am so done with you' look.
"Such a beautiful excuse." She said. I rolled my eyes.
"Nothing." I said.
"Your wish." She said.
Then she stood up. "I'm done. Bye." She said, and was about to leave when I asked "what about your food?"
"I don't wanna eat." She said, and left the room. I was about to lie down again when Susan again entered the room and picked up the knife.
"Bye." She said, and exited the room.
I stared blankly at the door.
She seriously took away the knife? As if I don't have other means of self harm.
But I'm too tired for that shit.
I jumped back to my untidy bed and closed my eyes.
POV : Kim Susan
I locked the door of my room and kept the knife on the table.
I them plopped down on the couch and drowned in my thoughts.
I'm not much experienced, but I can tell that criminals don't really self harm.
Because they are too busy harming others.
I'm also kinda taken back by the fact that he pets Snowhite and her kittens and maintains a garden.
I mean, I never knew criminals can be like this.
I have also observed that he sulks when I mention him as a murderer or whatever.
But I have no idea why.
And, why is my gut telling me that it's not really what it seems like?
Taehyung told me that if his story and Jungkook's story are added, then the whole picture comes.
And the whole picture is the truth.
It is the answer to all my questions.
It is the answer to why Jungkook is so different from others.
The whole picture is the truth.
And the truth is the whole picture.
So, my next step would be finding the truth.
Finding the whole picture.
It won't be official, but maybe the truth will help me connect the missing puzzles of this game.
What is the whole picture, Taehyung?
What were you about to tell me, Jungkook?
What is the truth?
《To be continued》
Hello my purple balloons!
Sorry for the small chapter. Actually my condition has deteriorated. So i'm really sick.
But I know I'm gonna be better soon.
And if you've read till here, then thank you so much.
I hope you're enjoying the story!
New chapters will be coming soon!
Love ya'll.
Borahae 💜 💜