can i play with your hair?
~~~
choso is a a half curse and half human. even though he is half human, he still needed to experience some of human emotions. 'without words for feeling' .
he has difficulties describing his feelings, identifying his feeling, verbally expressing his feelings, telling the difference between bodily sensations and emotions.
even thought autism and alexithymia is very common among the people who have the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions, choso is different.
one can recognise his emotions once he/she felt something weird about their body or mind.
weather it is happiness or uneasiness but choso never experienced many emotions to tell about it.
all his goal was to save his brothers. choso bears strong attachments to his brothers and is very overprotective of them.
this is why he sided with pseudo geto's group because he want to avenge the death of his younger brothers, kechizu and eso.
when he found out about their death, he was really angry. yeah he felt that emotion because he had a strong bond towards his brothers.
what he didn't know that mahito and the other cursed spirits for manipulating him.
he faces difficulties in communicating pain. he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings, interpreting others' emotions.
then why the hell is he here? sitting with a girl named y/n who is a random stranger, telling about his brother's death? resting his head on her lap which she is comforting him.
"you know choso-kun . . . " y/n started as choso looked at her. "i love your hair' she grinned from ear to ear genuinely.
seeing her smile made choso's lips unconsciously tug up. "thank-you" he replied.
"say . . ." she asked. "do you mind if i play with your hair?" she asked, thought y/n loves to pat his head and do different hairstyles but it would be rude to just do something without their consent.
choso did not mind at all and just shook is head saying the girl to continue.
she removes the hair tie that was given by her as she smiled that he wore it.
she started playing with his dark black wild hair locks, combing with her gentle fingers and removing the small knots as she massaged his scalps slowly.
"you know emotions are indeed released during massage" she spoke as he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling of her finger against his hair.
"because . . . muscles hold memory" she expounded. "massage can help to release these negative emotions and reduce the tension in our bodies" she smiled massaging his hair.
choso felt good. he felt like he is in a dark, quiet space surrounded by calming music and soothing scents, which was your scent. the vanilla and lavender fragrance hit his nostrils.
why? because lavender is one of the most familiar scent and is known to promote relaxation and sleepiness.
"stress begins to get released through the power of touch" she said as he turned around and pointed towards his back to continue massaging.
she smiled and did what he said as he let out a grunt. "are you okay? i can't say if you are groaning from pain or pleasure" she asked smiling nervously.
she was feeling sad about his brother's death, even thought she didn't see or personally know them, but seeing choso who looked lost made her heart clench.
"they are in a better place you know?" she said to ease his pain. he hummed with sadness in his voice "but why do i feel like . . ." this is it again, not able to describe his own feelings.
"angry? sad? feeling of dread? survivor's guilt?" she stated as he just simply nodded.
"do you know how we came here?" y/n asked as the male slowly shook his head saying no but he was about to reply with a blunt answer but chose not to ruin the mood.
she pointed her index finger at sky above her. "that's how you came here, me too like everyone, . . . but like a star, without a name." she smiled looking at him as he turned around to look at her.
"have you seen stars?" she asked smiling as he nodded. "have you observed them close? and thought about it?" she questioned again. choso thought for a second and shook his head muttering a soft 'no'
"all of them were beacons of hope for all the lost souls of the world" she muttered softly.
"you know what? i wanna show you something will you join me if i ask you to?" she said getting up removing the male's head slowing to not hurt him.
she dusted her skirt and looked at him smiling extending her arm to give him something.
"what is this?" he asked looking at the rectangular device. "mobile phone, i saved my contact in it, if i message you to come will you?" she said extending her arm again.
the black haired male looked at the device and at her hand again and smiled. her placed his palm on top of hers as the held each other to support and he stood up.
he looked at her eyes and exhaled. "yea──
──i will"