As the time to meet your beloved comes near, it feels as if everything suddenly becomes different, you feel the hands of the clock are moving slow. I couldn't sleep the whole night just thinking about her. How she will look? Amma said she is cute and chubby as she is short. I am just not able to stop imagining her. Oh!!!!! I can't wait to see her. I sat in room and started rehearsing how to talk to her when I see her. Yah we almost talk every week but it's different, now we will be seeing each other after a long time.
I only remember the old days when she used to come home to play with me. Her long hair always used as her weapon to beat me whenever she becomes angry. On her right hand there used to be an old wrist watch of her grandma, tiny anklets on her feet was a signal to say she is coming. Those deep black eyes had a different magic in them. Those chubby cheeks which used become red whenever she gets irritated. And whenever she smiles those chubby cheeks used to block her eyes making them so tiny. I don't know what will happen in the morning.
It was morning the call on landline woke me up. Amma answered the call. It was Srivalli aunty she had called to inform that they are still in Mysore and are not yet done with her Admission Process. So they will be reaching here by evening. Yes, she is getting admission for her B.com. Ah!!!! Now I have to wait till I return back from office.
It was 3p.m in the afternoon when they reached my home. As they finished their lunch on the way they had coffee in home. When I reached home at 6.30p.m, Amma and aunty were busy with chatting about each other's life. Uncle and Appa had gone to take a walk around the building. I touched aunt's feet to take her blessings. That's when I saw a shadow of a girl in my room near my book shelf. But I controlled my happiness and chatted with aunty.
Suddenly I heard her calling, VINAaaY........... How are you? My heart skipped a beat when I turned to face her. There she is my bestie, my dream girl. There was no change in her. The same round face, with that smile which made her eyes sink due to those chubby cheeks. She was the same she still had a long hair. I came back to reality and stepped down from the stool to hug her. Amma was right, she is so short. We gave each other big... hugs.
We sat in the balcony and chatted so much. (it wasn't awkward as she is the person who can talk to anyone. There is a inside joke that if a ghost comes in the midnight to her room then she will sit with it and talk with it asking things like "how did you die?", "is there any plans to seek revenge on people who killed you?" etc.) We went around the apartment don't know how the time flew. It was 8 when they called us for dinner. On the dining table we all had a discussion about the current issues and other political issues. But soon the topic of my marriage came up which flushed my happiness in a second.
After dinner I was reading a love story in the balcony, when she came and sat beside me. Finally after a long silence, she asked me "you are not willing to get married now but you don't want to hurt their feelings. So you said yes for this marriage?" I didn't respond to it. She understood and changed the topic." Are you sacrificing your dreams Vinu? What happened to that dream of becoming a wildlife photographer? I remember you always used to tell me", right now I had no answer for that.
Yes, I wanted to become a wildlife Photographer, but I was scared to tell my dad about it. So I chose to do CA. I still I go around to places with my cam and make videos or click pics on wildlife. I got many awards for that in school and college, but others think it's just my hobby, for me it was my passion. Till day actually none in my family or friends had asked me about it. She still remembered what I had told her long back.
As I had no answer I gave her a long stare. She saw me and said "I know how it feels, when your own ones don't appreciate our talent at least share your feelings with me, even though I am not matured enough to console, I can be a ear which listens to you. And how much stress will you give for that small heart? " suddenly I felt as if someone was there to understand me. I turned to her and asked what about her dreams. She was silent for a while, and she spoke, "your joking Vinu? Who will listen to my wishes? They are just worried about their dignity and self respect in the society. In this house though I look like I am a princess, I am not. I am.... Maybe a princess who is a kind of puppet..... For outside world I am a free bird, but actually I am a bird whose legs are chained, where it can only walk a distance but cannot fly. Even if it tries to fly it will be pulled back by those huge chains. Let's not talk about it."
It was Thursday afternoon when Amma called to remind me about the marriage reception we had to attend in the evening. I came home early and saw all the ladies in the house were busy getting ready. As usual I got fresh and wore a kurta-pyjama. And after 20 mins she came out in her green lehenga. With full bangles and other jewelry, her long hair had some other new hair style, meanwhile Appa and uncle came with jasmine flowers in their hand for the ladies. After some time we left for the reception.
We met many friends of our parents in the function. We all stood in the queue waiting to greet the newly wed. She started teasing me "after few months even you will stand like him, giving those artificial smiles at the people who you don't even know." To which I reacted like "if you stand next to me then I might give a genuine smile". Ops I made a blunder but thank god she just laughed at it saying that she will be busy clicking pictures and will never come near me on the stage. We both enjoyed a lot in the function as we had nicely made fun of some random uncles and people in the hall and also ourselves. Our parents got busy with their respective gangs. And we also got some new people to chat with. Finally we came back home by 11pm. talked a bit more and slept.
It was Friday; I was waked up by my Appa's loud prayers. I was late so I directly went for bath did my prayers and got ready to office. Rajkumari was in kitchen helping my Amma with breakfast. I sat on the table when she came with the breakfast plate and tea. Her bright smile gave me a kind of new energy rather than that tea. Mean while aunty prepared my lunch and kept it ready. Today all of them are going out to one of her Cousin's house.
Evening when I came back home the door was open and Rajkumari was busy reading a novel. I asked her about our parents. She said they have gone to meet our family astrologer. I got fresh and she gave me my coffee. She looked a bit serious, so I asked what happened and why was she looking bit serious. She said "something is fishy, my parents and your parents are acting weird. They are up to something I think...." I didn't know what it was about and I thought they went to astrologer maybe to ask about my marriage or maybe they got some girl's kundali so they might have gone to check that.
It was 8 in the night when my Appa called and asked us to have dinner as they will be bit late. We orderd pizza and finished our dinner talking about some movies, our parents came back around 10. I opened the door and yes Rajkumari was right there was something fishy. Both the parents were taking with each other in low voices. We saw each other and she gave "I told you" expression. They had their dinner silently and talking to each other with eyes asking who will tell or something like that.
Finally after their dinner they called us both and Appa was the one to start, "Vinu, yesterday in the marriage while talking to a friend we got a suggestion, and I think you will also accept it." Amma continued, "You and Avanti know each other from childhood. You both are good friends; you know each other very well. So we thought how about you marring her? ". "We won't force our decision on you dear, take your own time and answer us", said aunty. It came much unexpected to me. I couldn't digest what they had just told me. Should I feel happy for my love or what, "we are just friend and nothing much between us?" This is what I tell when people ask about us. She doesn't even know that I harbor love for her in my heart. So many thoughts started running in my mind. I turned to face and she was already looking at me and gave me a smile which was not really genuine.
Both the parents now left the decision in my hands. I couldn't sleep thinking about what to do. I sat up and saw the light in the balcony was still on. it was still 10.30pm; I went near the door and saw her deeply immersed in a novel. I cleared my throat. She saw me and smiled. I asked could I join her in the balcony and view stars. She said yes. It was drizzling outside as it was the pre monsoon showers. It was cool outside, and the place felt calm. Finally I broke the silence and asked her whether she is ok with the proposal or does she have anything else in mind.
She just smiled and said "It's just simple dear if you say yes I will be married to you. If you say no then I will be married to someone else. Either ways I will be married". "Few more months, I will be 18 then, so legally they can get me married off." Those eyes had no spark in them today. She was sad. Yes she is not given a chance to express herself. It's up to me to decide. I thought for a while and continued "have you ever been in love with someone? Maybe a one sided love which makes you feel complete?" She was confused why did I asked that but still she answered NO. "What about you? Have you ever been in love?" She asked me back. "Well, yes I have been. Every single day of my life, I feel I fall more and more in love with her. "she was shocked by my answer. But still she asked does anyone know about it apart from her? I just said no. "Does that girl know that you love her?" she sound concerned.
I said no and told it was one sided. "You know it sounds strange but I don't know when I started to like her. I don't know why she means a lot to me. Her sweet voice makes me feel each of my nerve. Whenever I talk to her I can feel my heart beat loud. " she suddenly got excited and said, "I think you should tell that girl about your love. Whether she says yes or no, you should at least tell her na what you feel for her. If she says yes then we will do something and make the families get to it" I never expected that from her. I knew she was crazy but not to this extent. How can I tell her that she is the girl who I love and talking about?
In the first place I don't even know why I told her about my one sided love story. I don't know what to do, but suddenly I turned to her. Her dark black eyes had a magic in them as if it was calling out for me to swim in them. I took her hand in mine and said "I don't know why I am doing this but yes for years now I have fallen in love with my best friend. I always thought she is the one for me. Thinking about marring another girl, is always a sin according to me. I wanted to tell her but was scared as to what if I say I like her and she would say no and our friendship would be gone. But today I have gathered all my courage because of you and I will tell her." she was amused to see me talk like a Romeo. I got down from the swing and plucked a small blue flower from the pot and went on my knees and just blurted out "I LOVE YOU RAJKUMARI, WILL YOU MARRY ME? AVANTI......I want to grow old with you. I want to be your best friend come lover forever. Will you give me a chance to be the love of your life?"
She didn't say anything, she was in utter shock. She never ever expected that the girl who I was talking about will be her. She sat like a frozen doll. She just said, "Vinay I need some time. I don't know how to react. Can you please leave me alone for some time? I will answer you later. I am just not able to talk let me digest it first." I just asked if she was okay and I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. She said she was and asked me to go. I came back slept.