(028 - Miserable and Empty.)
Why do I feel this chapter might make you guys laugh, and then cry 🤧. Let's see sha. Brace yourselves o.
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𝐉𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀
(Jidenna Leo Okojie)
"What's going on? You completely flopped your test and that's a shock!" He added.
A deep, exhausted breath escaped my lips as I left the class and began to walk through the hallway.
Just like every other test we had this week, maths was just an addition to the complete flop of basically all my tests.
But failing my tests wasn't a shock to me like it was to everyone else. I didn't prepare and I wasn't the kind of person that would pass even when I don't read for a test or an exam. God knows, every exam and test I've been passing all these while, I would have failed them if I wasn't already compelled to either bring home the best result... or die.
A compulsion ingrained in my entire being by my father since the beginning of my existence.
You'd expect me to fidget and be terrified right now. Given that I failed every single one of my first tests, I should be getting ready for anything my father would do to me. But honestly, that was the least of my problems right now.
Yes, with the kind of father I have, I should be more bothered and concerned that I failed and he'd kill me once he finds out. But he was out of the country and won't be back in at least two months, so whatever he'd do to me will just have to wait.
What I was more bothered about, however, were the reactions of my classmates after the announcement of yet another failed CA test. I couldn't get their faces out of my mind... their shocked faces when they realized that the Jidenna Okojie failed all his subjects.
Let's not even get started on the snarky comments.
"Maybe Beauty fucked his intelligence out,"
Someone had whispered that statement behind me in class today after corper Toseen had dropped the bomb, followed by fits of snickering and mock-filled laughter. There was nothing I could do... or dare to do. With the gist on Beauty and I still going around since the party, my failed tests weren't helping matters at all.
I have never been at the receiving end of my classmates' wrath. This was a first and trust me, it sucked, big time. Tekena said he'd fix this. It's been almost what? almost two weeks? I haven't even gotten a hold of him all week because of the test.
Wait a minute... I suddenly paused in the middle of the busy hallway, my mind working in overdrive.
He told me that he had taken care of Beauty and she was going to shut up. This means someone else has been bringing it back up. Someone that has a background knowledge of what Beauty and I did.
Probably someone that didn't like me.
I didn't have to think twice before deducing who it was. And with that thought, I turned on my heels and found myself on the way to Art Class D.
The class was almost empty by the time I got there and thankfully, she was one of the few that were still seated in the class so it didn't take me a while to find her. She was seated with the timekeeper, Toluwalase, Lase for short, talking about God knows what.
As I marched into the class, Lase was the one who noticed me first walking towards them. Lase didn't have to alert her before she followed the time keeper's gaze, turning to look in my direction. Her eyes met mine and the smile playing on her lips earlier disappeared.
"Can we talk?" I asked as soon as I got to her. She looked at me for a bit, looked at Lase who shrugged in confusion, then looked back at me, her eyebrows quirked in question.
"Why?" Was her simple monotonous reply. I exhaled, knowing that she wasn't going to make this easy for me. But I needed to get to the bottom of this rumor.
It's not a rumor if it's actually true. My subconscious reminded me and I hissed lowly, brushing that thought away.
"Adela please," I pleaded and she looked on, unbothered. "It's urgent."
She kept her gaze glued to mine, that same unbothered expression on her face. From my peripheral vision, I could feel Lase's eyes moving between us, could feel her confusion. Adela exhaled, averting her gaze from me for a bit, then looked back at me.
"Fine." She caved. "Wait outside for five minutes. I'll join you." She said, her tone still as shrewd and monotonous as it was before. I nodded and began to make my way back outside, just like she had said. From behind, I heard Lase asking her why I wanted to speak to her but Adela answered that she had no idea.
If she's really the one responsible for the gist on Beauty and I still going around, then she has to put it to rest once and for all. I don't care I much I'd have to pay her to dead that embarrassing gist. Who knows what other hidden, deadly secrets she'd find out about me and share?
I waited outside the class for five minutes on the dot before she decided to come out. Honestly, the five minutes had felt like an hour. I was desperate and impatient at the same time, but my desperation to get the gist off my back for good was more than my impatience for her.
When she saw me still standing there, she seemed surprised that I had waited for her.
I shrugged, "You told me to wait for five minutes." I reminded her and the surprise on her face wiped off, replaced with that same unbothered expression from earlier.
She folded her hand across her chest, peering at me.
"What did you want to talk about, Jidenna?" She asked me, her tone still monotonous as before.
I looked around, noticing that the hallway was crowded and this was the worst place to have a conversation. I beckoned to her to follow me, and she rolled her eyes but did. I made my way out of that hallway, to the corridor that led to the SS3 library with her following behind me.
That corridor was private enough. Test had ended so no one would have a reason for going to the library.
"How much do you want?" I asked immediately we got there, turning to look at her. Adela veered back, her face contorting in a deep frown as she stared back at me. Her gaze held confusion.
"Excuse you?"
I sighed, knowing she'd prove difficult.
"I know you are the one that is still spreading the gist of me and Beauty's rendezvous from a month ago. I also know you are doing it because you don't like me. You need to stop our classmates from talking and I'll pay whatever amount you want to shut you up about it, permanently-"
"Okay, pause!" She interjected sharply, raising her hands to stop me from talking while peering at me incredulously. "You actually think I am the one still keeping that gist alive? Because I don't like you?" She asked, sounding shocked at my claim. Now it was my turn to be confused.
"Adela, you were the only one that heard the gist first hand from Beauty and me in the hallway, during TK's party-"
"Pure coincidence that I was there at the time, Mr. Jidenna Okojie," She interjected again, calling my name so formally, yet her tone was dripping with hardcore sarcasm. "It's not like I was stalking you to get dirt on you. Besides, I promised no one was going to hear it from me. I don't break promises. It's unethical" She stated pointedly.
I stared back at her, trying to figure out what she was playing at because I wasn't getting it. She was actually making solid points in her defense. But I wasn't ready to just surrender that easily.
"Then how come moments after that, Beauty was asked a rather specific question of who her last hook up was and when during the Spin the bottle game? That question was too specific to be a coincidence," I pointed out and she rolled her eyes, seemingly exhausted.
"So you think I tipped off someone because I somehow knew there was going to be a spin-the-bottle game or that somehow, I knew Beauty would pick truth?" She scoffed out a sarcastic laughter, rolling her eyes again while I stood there, dumbfounded.
She got me there.
"Number one, I didn't even play the game with you guys. I left immediately we had that little run-in in the hallway." She told me, looking at me right in the eye as she said it as a way to punctuate her claim.
And she wasn't even done.
"Jidenna, the person you should be questioning like this is whoever asked Beauty the question and not me. From whoever that person is, you'd know who leaked your dirty little secret." She stated matter-of-factly and I sighed.
Another solid point I couldn't even counter.
"Who asked Beauty the question, anyway?" Adela asked after a moment of silence.
"Affiong Edikan, I think," I answered a little thought.
Adela paused and looked at me. No, she stared at me, intently. Then she gave me a once-over... a very slow and scrutinizing one that seemed to send some sort of message. She was looking at me like I had said the stupidest thing in the entire universe. Her scrutiny made chills run down my entire body.
Why is she looking at me like that? What did I say?
"Affiong Edikan was the one that asked Beauty who her last hook up was and when?" She asked again, trying to confirm what I said and I nodded affirmatively. She looked at me again, looked away for a bit, looked back at me, and then sighed, massaging her temple with her thumb and index finger.
"And you couldn't put two and two together?" Was her simple question. I was so confused now, trying to understand what she was on about.
"Put what and what together?" I had to ask, but all Adela did was stare at me like I was a walking joke. All I said was that Affiong Edikan was the one that asked Beauty the question.
Was that supposed to mean anything?
"Are you stupid?"
Jesus Christ
That question was like a literal bullet piercing my skin and penetrating my heart. That simple, yet extremely derogative question had me almost shouting in pure and undiluted agony. In other words, I was in pain.
"W-What?" I stuttered out like a complete idiot, finding it hard to articulate my words all of a sudden.
"I had to ask," She shrugged nonchalantly like she couldn't see the way that question had affected me. "Because I don't understand how the answers to your questions would be right in front of you and you are still unable to see it," She continued.
I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out, so I closed it. I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot, gapping like a fish out of water. I was still very much immobilized by the question that I couldn't register the statements she had just made.
Adela rolled her eyes again, "For God's sake, Jidenna! Affiong and Beauty are friends!" She exclaimed, her tone taking me right out of my shock. She didn't give me a breathing space before she continued.
"Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe Beauty already told her about you guys? It didn't occur to you that she probably told Affiong to ask her that rather specific question during the game, in front of the entire class just to you know, get back at you for rejecting her the way you do that night?" She reasoned.
My eyes widened in realization as Adela's words began to make sense to me. Affiong was the one who asked Beauty the question during the game. Come to think of it, she actually looked like she knew something the others didn't when she was asking that question. Just like Adela had said, Beauty must have told her about us.
But how was Adela able to deduce this so fast?
"You seem so certain about this," I pointed out, eyeing Adela. She rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time since we started this discussion.
"That's because unlike you, I'm using my common sense." She shot back and again, I felt that insult to my core. It's like Adela Yongo derives utmost pleasure in making me feel like crap... and she had the power to do that, just by the words of her mouth.
"Let me show you something," she was still talking and I looked at her, watched as she dug her hand into the pocket of her skirt, and brought out her phone. "You want to confirm if Affiong is the one?" She asked as she walked closer to me.
I'm sure the question was rhetorical but I still nodded anyway.
She began to swipe through the phone and press buttons, speaking. "Well, If you have been active on social media, you'd have noticed that every time the gist is about to die, one particular person brings it back up and it starts to bubble up again." She stopped tapping and showed me her screen.
She was showing me her starred messages, recently started messages anyway.
"I just finished starring all the messages sent by that person in the last two weeks," She told me and I looked at her in shock. She hummed, shrugging. "I'm very fast with my fingers," She answered my unasked question.
How she was able to get every message from that exact person since the last two weeks, out of the thousands of messages on that group chat.
"What I'm saying is," She continued, bringing my attention back to what we were discussing before. "Look at the messages and look at who sent them. See anything in common?"
I looked back at the phone screen, scheming through the messages that had been starred and it all started becoming clear to me. All the messages were like new introductions to what happened between Beauty and me, instigating the conversation over and over again. And all these messages were sent by the same person,
Just like Adela had said.
"Affy_Baby, AKA Affiong Edikan, was - and still is the instigator of the gist, not me," Ada concluded, looking at me right in the eye as she said it. I exhaled.
Well, now it all makes perfect sense.
"I don't understand why I didn't think of all these before," I muttered, more to myself than to her, but because of the secluded place we were and its quietness, she could hear me.
Adela scoffed, looking at me in some way that would have anyone question his or her existence in this world. Just her look alone.
"You didn't think of those possibilities before because you are even more of an idiot than I thought!" She snapped at me, causing my breath to seize in my throat yet again while my eyes widened in shock
"I mean, how can someone have the truth right in front of him and still not be able to figure simple details out?" She continued like she had not just given me a big kick to the curb. She then looked at me and asked incredulously. "How can someone be so naive and utterly dumb!"
Okay, that's it!
"Okay, that's enough," I snapped back, my voice not coming out as sharp as I intended, not even as sharp as hers was. "You really need to stop insulting me, Adela. It's not cool." I chided nonetheless.
"Trust me, I want to stop insulting you. I really really want to stop because I don't derive any joy in doing so, but you make it very not to insult you. Very hard, Jidenna." She answered matter-of-factly, punctuating her statement with a somewhat nonchalant shrug. I exhaled, completely exhausted.
"Honest to God," She continued, letting out a peal of scoff-like laughter. "You do things... and say things that make me wonder how come you cater away a lot of prices during Recognition day-
-You act in certain ways that make me wonder how come you are an A-class student. In other words, you shock me... and no, it's not the good kind of shock. For God's sake, you are about to leave High school. Stop thinking like a fucking two-year-old and start using your common sense for once,"
And she pointed up that last statement by actually slapping me on the head. Not a hard slap, but a slap nonetheless, while I stared at her like an idiot.
God, now I'm calling myself an idiot. I hissed within me.
"I'm sorry," I found myself saying... whispering actually. Adela looked at me, her hands back to being folded across her chest, her well-carved eyebrows raised in question as if to ask me what I was apologizing for.
Maybe for being an idiot? My subconscious mocked me and I fought the urge to roll my eyes so hard, it would probably disappear to the back of my head.
"I'm sorry for accusing you without finding out the facts first," I clarified and she bobbed her head to the side, still didn't say anything. I exhaled. "I just assumed that..."
"You assumed that since I don't like you, I'd rat you out to all our classmates." She cut in, actually finishing the statement for me. She didn't even have to wait for me to answer before she knew that she was right. Because she was right.
That was exactly what I thought.
She sighed before she started speaking again, "When I found out about you and Beauty, you begged me not to tell anyone, Jidenna." She reminded me and I nodded, remembering that that was exactly what I did. "And I told you that no matter how much of an idiot I think a person is, I won't leverage on their weaknesses or secrets for my personal gain." She added and again, I nodded.
"What I'm trying to say is... I'm still keeping my end of that promise." As soon as she said that, an involuntary sigh of relief escaped from my lips, "I'm not the kind of person that would use your secrets to blackmail you into doing the right thing," She added, staring at me right in the eye.
"You will do that all on your own."
I exhaled deeply.
"Thank you, Adela..." I whispered.
That thank you wasn't only for promising to keep that secret... which was already in the open, only that no one knew if it was true or just a rumor. Especially since Beauty hasn't said anything that night, courtesy of TK.
The "Thank You" was also for helping me figure out who was continuously instigating the gist. She had no obligation to do that, especially after accusing her the way I did. She could have just slapped me and walked away, but she didn't. She helped... in her own unorthodox way since she just wouldn't stop calling me Idiot... or stupid.
But Adela clearly didn't see it that way with the way she just rolled her eyes at me.
"Just to be clear, I still hate what you did to Hilary." She stated sharply, causing my small smile to wipe off instantly. She sighed again, pausing her lips.
"But I can tell that you are sorry." She continued softly, "You just don't know the right way to go about apologizing for whatever it is you did," She added, oblivious to the details of what I did to Hilary.
She'd probably hate me more if... or when she finds out.
"I'm sorry," I apologized again and she looked at me, a confused expression marrying her face like she didn't know why I was apologizing again. I wasn't even sure why I was apologizing again, I just felt the need to.
"Well, you don't have to apologize to me." Adela said, letting out a breath, "Hilary is the one who needs it." She added pointedly. I couldn't stop the scoff that left my lips, before my leg gave way and I found myself sitting on the floor, my back leaned against the wall.
Hilary cannot stand me anymore.
"Hilary hates me. Hates my entire existence even. She never wants to see me again." I told Adela, wasn't sure why I was telling her this but I just couldn't stop myself.
"Did you give her much of a choice?" Adela countered, leaning against the wall with her side. I didn't respond so she continued. "I wasn't sure exactly what you did to her but I'd say it was pretty bad with the way things are turning out..."
"I'm the reason her brother is dead, Adela!" I blurted out without thinking twice. Adela stopped talking abruptly, gawking her eyes at me like a deer caught in a headlight. My mouth fell open in a gape as it dawned on me what I had just said.
What the hell is wrong with you, Jidenna!
I stood up from the floor with a start, "I shouldn't have said that," I said, avoiding Adela's eyes still me as I tried to maneuver my way past her to leave. But obviously, she didn't let me move an inch.
"Hold up," she stepped in front of me. "You can't just drop something as big as that on me and walk away, Jidenna." She told me. I looked up at her, meeting her eyes. Unlike I had expected, her eyes didn't hold judgment. It held confusion instead.
But then, it was only a matter of time before the judgment appears.
"I shouldn't have said what I said. You weren't supposed to know." I maintained because honestly, I shouldn't have said it. I don't know why I blurted out that big secret to Adela of all people.
"But now I do." She stated. "And you have got to explain to me what you meant by you are the reason Hilary's brother is dead because, on God, I'm freaking out right now." She added rather calmly for someone that's supposed to be freaking out. Even if she was, I couldn't tell her. I wasn't sure how to.
Besides, telling another person about what happened that night would just mean that it's only a matter of time before the entire class... the entire school even finds out. I'm still trying to salvage what's left of my reputation after this whole Beauty fiasco. Letting Adela into one of the many secrets I'm keeping will just beginning of the end for me.
I'm sure about that.
"I can't tell you," I maintained adamantly, not wanting to break my resolve. "Only God knows what you will do with such a big piece of information after I tell you. You'd probably even..."
"Blackmail you?" She finished for me and I kept quiet because that was in line with what I was about to say. Adela scoffed and clicked her teeth. "Wow, Jidenna. Did my promise of a few minutes ago mean nothing to you?" She asked.
It wasn't a rhetorical question, she asked, looking at me right in the eye, silently telling me she wanted an answer. But I had no answer. I didn't know if I could trust Adela. Promise or not. She already made it clear that she wasn't a fan of me so why else would she want key pieces of information like this if not to use them against me.
"Why do I even care?" She scoffed when she realized she wasn't going to get an answer from me. Then she chuckled. A dry humorless chuckle. "You are clearly comfortable being miserable and empty," She added her unbothered expression back on.
I took offense to her statement.
"You need to stop insulting me," I warned her and she scoffed again.
"It's not an insult when it's the truth. And the truth they say is bitter." Was her simple answer, her eyes fixated steadily on mine.
Adela sighed and moved closer to me till she was in my space, her boots making her almost the same height as me. She was almost touching bodies with me, all up in my personal space in a way that made my breath catch in my throat.
I could see every detail on her face, like how she had neatly laid the edges of her hair... even noticing for the first time that she had a nose-piercing with a silver-studded ring. I could literally feel her breath on my skin.
It made me feel on edge... in some sort of way that wasn't entirely bad.
What am I even saying?
"You have always been very easy to read," She said lowly, not having to raise her voice because of the way she was close to me. I stood my ground, not wanting to cower away from her intense gaze that seemed to hold me spellbound.
"As much as you try to hide it, you wear your emotions on your face and it's so easy to know what's up with you. Our classmates might be blinded by ignorance but I'm not... and you should have known that by now," her lips quirked slightly as she said that.
I was completely dumbstruck.
"Up until this very point, all you have ever done is try to remain relevant and uphold your reputation, a reputation that will fade after high school. Everything you have ever done has backfired and your attempt to try to salvage what is left of it is making you do unthinkable things... and the guilt is draining you, making you sad, miserable, and empty,"
I inhaled sharply when she breathed out the last word empty on my face, her clean, minty breath clouding my every sense. But it didn't stop me from knowing that all she was saying, was true.
"You want to stop feeling that way? Do what's right by Hilary, by your friends, and most especially, what is right by you." She said and I exhaled the breath I had taken in. Her lips quirked again in a small smile as she bobbed her head at me.
"For what it's worth, I know you are not a bad person. You just need to stop being a coward and do the right thing." She concluded, not averting her gaze from mine.
"Am I interrupting something?" A familiar voice came from behind Adela. Tekena's voice. I didn't have to look to know he was the one. Adela held my gaze for a second before she glanced over her shoulder to look at Tekena, flashing him a smile.
"Not at all," She answered him, stepping away from him before finally walking away without saying anything else, leaving me staring at her retreating figure, still speechless.
What... is this girl?
"What was that about?" Tekena's voice jerked me out of my reverie.
I looked at him and saw that he was already standing in front of me, peering ate inquisitively. I glanced behind him to see that Adela was now completely out of sight before looking back at me, seeing that he was still staring at me.
"It's nothing," I muttered, answering the question as I leaned back against the wall. Tekena didn't buy that because he scoffed and folded his hands across his chest.
"It's nothing?" He asked incredulously with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. I didn't respond and he scoffed. "That babe was all up on your personal space, way too close to you like she wanted to kiss you or something. Is there something I should know that you are not telling me, Jidenna?"
I turned my head sharply at him.
"Like I said, there is nothing," I repeated, and again, Tekena didn't look like he believed me. But he didn't prod any further, he just kept staring back at me like he was trying to figure it out without me telling him. And if Adela was right about me being very easy to read, he'd figure it out in a nanosecond.
I quickly averted my gaze from him.
"I need to go," I whispered, leaning off the wall and moving to bypass him.
"Wait, just like that?" Tekena sounded surprised. He should be, me acting this way towards him was a first. But I needed space, to think of everything Adela just told me. "You are seriously going to walk out on me."
I exhaled, exhausted.
"Abeg, Tekena. Not now please." I shut him off and walked away from him. Adela's words were playing in repeat in my head,
And so was she.
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This is a bad idea.
I thought to myself as I got down from my car and locked it before moving to stand in front of the big familiar building. I exhaled, shoving my hand into the pocket of my jacket. I haven't been inside the house before, but Hilary would always come and meet me outside anytime I had to pick her up for something.
Come to think of it, I never had the liver to enter her house just once, never went past the black gate even when she'd insist that I can come in. But every time I'd ask her to visit my house, she won't think twice before showing up.
She kept putting me first even to the point of defiling her parents and coming out that night to see me. A visit I had insisted on which later led to the death of her brother. The mere thought of it again left me chilly and cold. Not the good kind of cold.
Jidenna, you were the worst boyfriend ever. I mused to myself, chuckling humorlessly.
Everything Adela had said to me in school today wouldn't leave my head. The guilt was draining me, making me sad, miserable, and empty. In all honesty, I haven't had one moment of happiness since I started all this. That lone feeling, that sense of emptiness and self-loathing will never leave till I do the right thing.
If only I had just owned up to my mistake from the beginning. If only I had just been there for Hilary as a friend. If only I had not let all this spiral out of control.
If only I had not listened to TK?
"Excuse me," A male voice jerked me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see that the small gate was opened and a man was standing just in front of it, peering at me. From his attire, I could tell he was the gateman.
"Are you looking for someone?" And for a regular gateman, his spoken English was almost flawless. His question made me realize that I have been standing in front of the gate for a while, staring at the house like a creep.
"Yeah sorry," I muttered moving closer to him. "I want to see Hilary. I'm a friend from school." I told him. He gave me a scrutinizing once-over before stepping aside to let me in. I exhaled again and walked in, thanking him as I made my way to the front door.
This was a bad idea, I thought to myself for the second time as I stood at the front door. Hilary doesn't want to see me. Only God knows what she'd do if she sees me at her doorstep.
Do what is right by Hilary... Adela's voice reminded me and I sighed.
Before I began to have second thoughts again, I raised my hand and pressed the doorbell. Behind the door, I heard Hilary's mum's voice, calling to her to answer the door. My heart automatically began to beat at a rapid pace as I heard footsteps coming towards the door. Hilary's footsteps.
It's not too late to hide under one of the cars. My subconscious told me, mocking me actually. But before I could think of that possibility, the door flew open, revealing Hilary.
She was smiling before, but as soon as she set her eyes on me, her smile turned upside down with immediate effect, replaced with a glare that I felt to my bones. I gulped audibly, I'm sure she heard as I stared back at her, trying not to cower under her intense glare.
Hilary stared at me, her gaze shooting daggers everywhere on my body. I felt cold and hot at the same time. Her glare made me feel like peeing on my body at that moment. The hatred in her stare was so evident, I felt it to my heart's core.
I opened my mouth to speak, but she hissed and made to slam the door in my face. I quickly stretched my hand out to stop it from closing on me.
"Hilary, please wait!" I pleaded, stepping closer to the entrance. But she didn't let me walk further as she blocked the way.
"Get out!" She growled out, her eyes blazing with undiluted anger. I have never seen her so angry, but she had every right to be.
"You have every right to be angry with me. You have every right to lash out at me right now. I deserve it and more. But please let us talk. I'm begging you."
"Talk? You want us to talk?" She asked, sarcasm dripping in her voice. Then she let out a humorless laugh, clapping her hands together. "I said the exact same thing when I needed you a month ago but you ghosted me. It's a little too late to have a discussion now, Jidenna. Get out."
"I made a mistake," I began, pleading with her with everything I had. She made a sound of mock amusement but said nothing. "Hilary, I fucked up. I fucked up bad. If I can go back in time to fix everything, I will. I swear, I will."
"I needed you, Jidenna." Her voice was dangerously calm but intense. The hatred, mixed with pain and anger was still very much evident on her face. The intensity of her hurt cut the remaining words on the tip of my tongue out of my mouth completely and I was rendered speechless.
Hilary stalked closer to me, slowly and menacingly. I moved back till I was back on the interlocked floor.
"I needed you as my friend, not as my boyfriend. If you had wanted to break up after the accident, I would have understood perfectly. I didn't even blame you for Henry's death. I just wanted you to be there for me. To be my friend." She pointed her index to her chest in emphasis. My heart shattered into a million pieces when I saw the way tears began to well in her eyes.
Jidenna, you bastard.
"But you were too much of a coward to face me." She scoffed out a burst of humorless laughter, shaking her head. "You allowed your friend to spread such awful rumors about me. And if that wasn't enough, you cheated on me,"
"It was a mistake, Hilary. Beauty means nothing to me, I swear."
She scoffed again, a sad smile playing on her lips "It would have been better if she did." She whispered. In a nanosecond, the smile evaporated into thin air, replaced with the glare from earlier. "And If me blocking you everywhere didn't deliver the message, then let me spell it out for you."
She moved closer to me, locking her eyes with mine. "You are dead to me, Jidenna Okojie." She spat out venomously. "Do not come near me, near my house, near my friends, don't even say my name. Now, get out of my house." She simply stated and shut the door in my face, the hard bang startling me.
She's never going to forgive me.
I exhaled, exhausted and defeated. Looking behind me, I realized that the gateman had seen everything that went down, heard everything in fact. He had even already held the gate open for me, indicating that I should leave. I sighed but walked out of the house and to my car.
"What were you thinking?" I couldn't help but think aloud as I drove out of the estate and into the busy road.
Indeed, what was I thinking? That I'd just apologize and she'd accept me with open arms almost immediately? I'm a joker for even thinking that way. What I did to her was terrible and inhumane. After being the reason her brother died, I still went as far as making her last year in high school almost unbearable.
All for what exactly?
I need to make things right but it seems like an apology won't do the job.
What do I do?
That was the question I kept asking myself till I got home. Till I got to the huge gate of the Okojie mansion, that was the question that kept playing in my head.
(The Okojie Mansion)
But as soon as the automatic gate opened and I saw the flit of cars in the compound, cars that weren't there before I went to Hilary's house, the question evaporated from my mind immediately and goosebumps sprouted on my skin.
The cars were very familiar. They were my Father's.
What the fuck is he doing back so soon? Was now the question that plagued my mind. He said he won't be back till two months.
Before I could blink, bodyguards and convoys had already lined up in front of my car, stopping me from driving any further. I swallowed the invisible lump in my throat as I sighted Tola who was already walking towards the car. I opened the door and began to get down.
"Tola..." I called when he got to me. Unlike everyone's face that was hard as steel, his were pretty soft. It was like his way of telling me to calm down.
"Your Dad is back from his trip," He simply said and I nodded, swallowing again.
"I figured out that much," I answered, glancing around the bodyguards and convoys scattered all over the large compound. Then I looked back at Tola, "Why so early?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure it has something to do with you." He answered and I exhaled, feeling nothing but dread envelope me like a blanket.
Of course, it has something to do with me.
"He's waiting for you," Tola said, bringing me out of my thoughts and I nodded again, following behind him as he began to walk towards the house, some of the bodyguards following behind me as well.
We entered the house, which was rather dark. Outside was pretty much still bright since it was the early hours of the evening. It was then I realized that the lights were off and the curtains were down, preventing any ray of light from coming in. If anything, that simple detail made the feeling of dread I had increase a million fold.
We didn't move further from the door. I was apprehensive and terrified, not knowing what to think or what to do. The fact that my Father was back was alone to force me into oblivion.
"W-Where is he?" I whispered, asking Tola who was beside me. The huge man didn't respond, but when he just glanced at me and discreetly took my hand in his, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze, I panicked.
I'm in trouble.
"Jidenna," His deep voice boomed across the quiet room suddenly, it startled me. I couldn't see him because of the darkness in the room but God know I could feel him. He was close. With where his voice had come from, I could guess he was at the top of the staircase.
"Is the boy deaf?" His voice boomed again, jerking me sharply out of my thoughts. He sounded angry this time.
Holy Spirit.
"S-Sir?" I stuttered, quickly stepping away from the guards and moving forward. In the process, I knocked my leg against the glass table and winced painfully, but still moved forward till I was standing at the foot of the stairs.
I didn't hear him say anything again but began to hear him descending the stairs, gradually. Apart from the sound of his footsteps, I could hear his walking sticky hitting the tiled floor as he can down. Both sounds played in my head, giving me major anxiety. I held my breath, stood my ground, and waited for him to get to me.
He did, stopped at the end of the stairs, one step before mine. Now I could see him, see every single feature. He was dressed in a suit, most likely what he had worn back from his trip. He was staring at me and I stared back, knowing that looking away from him will just get me into more trouble than I already am.
Senator Kingsley Okojie wasn't smiling. He wasn't frowning either. But that was what made whatever this was, very deadly.
"Jidenna," He called again after what seemed like hours of silence.
"Yes sir,"
"You failed your tests," He dropped the dime, and my eyes widened in shock.
How did he find out!
"F-Father, I..." I couldn't stop stuttering, couldn't form my words correctly.
"Why did you fail?" He asked, his voice dangerously calm and chill that it had goosebumps sprouting on my skin. I opened my mouth but couldn't speak. I didn't have an explanation for my fuck up. History should have warned me that even in my father's absence, he still has complete control over my life.
"And you also decided to go partying in my absence as well?" He asked rhetorically, then chuckled humorlessly and sardonically in a way that had chills running down my spine.
I'm done for.
"Father, please..."
I couldn't get any more words out of my mouth before I felt myself flying, an excruciating pain filling my jaw as I landed heavily on the tiled floor, groaning when I heard my ribs crack. He had punched me.
Not only did I feel pain on my sides, but also in my jaw. I reached a hand to it and it felt like my jaw had shifted, dislocated. The wetness at a corner of my lips told me that there was also blood. I could taste it in my mouth, even.
Fuck... I looked up to where I knew my father was standing.
"Bring him to me," My Father ordered. I was still trying to register what he meant when I felt myself being lifted from the floor by two guards, holding me tight. I knew what that meant and began to trash around... began to beg.
"Please. Sir please!" I cried out as they carried me to where he was still standing at the foot of the stairs. Immediately they got me there, My Father sent another hard and deadly punch right into my stomach.
"Argh!" I groaned, coughing out a mouth full of blood, some falling on his suit. He veered back and looked at me in utter disgust while I tried to catch my breath.
"You stained my suit," He simply said, but his tone was nothing short of venomous. He looked at me for a moment before giving me a dirty slap, causing my fave to painful jerk to the side.
"Take him to THE ROOM. Strip him to his underwear and chain him up." I heard him say and my eyes widened.
The room! God no!
"No Father, please! I'm begging you! It will never happen again. I promise it will never happen again!" I begged, pleaded, thrashed around, and tried to fight the guards that were holding me as they began to carry me upstairs.
"Of course, it won't happen again. I'm making sure of it." Came his sardonic reply, followed by an even more sardonic laugh.
I screamed, cried, and kept begging as they took me away to the room. I looked at Tola and begged him to help me but he looked away because there was nothing he could do. There was nothing he would dare to do.
The men carried me to the room, stripped me of my clothes, and chained both of my hands up as my father had said. Now I was in the same position as St.Andrew when he was crucified. No matter how much I begged and cried, these men acted like they were deaf to my pleas.
The Room.
My father's personal torture room. Being inside this room for the first time in years, I could still hear my cries from years back as he tortured me. I could still hear the echo of my pleas and begs... promises to do better from fourteen years old me. They echoed through the room, haunting me now.
Now I was back here, about to relive the same torture, if not worst.
"Wet him." Came my father's order as he walked into the room, Tola trailing behind him. They carried out his order, dousing me with so much water from head to toe, I almost drowned right there.
My Father walked closer to me and I was able to see him now. He wasn't wearing his suit anymore, the white shirt he had inside now rolled up by the sleeves and his tie unknotted. I sighted the whip in his hand and began to jerk against the chains, trying to break free.
"Please don't do this," I choked out in tears, crying profusely, breathing heavily. He laughed like I had said something funny.
"Stop jerking against the chain. You'll bruise your wrist." He stated casually, speaking like he cared if I bruised my wrist or not. I closed my eyes, tears cascading from my eyes like a torrent. I heard him scoff and opened my eyes to look at him.
"Look at you crying like a girl," He spat out in disdain and I choked on my sobs. He stalked around me and stopped behind, making my breath catch in my throat in fear.
"I'm just trying to correct you like the good father that I am. Next time, you'll not defile me." He growled out and immediately, I felt a painful lash against my back,
And I screamed out in pure and unadulterated agony.
𝐀/𝐍
Sigh* 🤧. I don't even have much to right. I'm just feeling really bad for Jidenna right now.
There he was, thinking he could escape his father's wrath for two months but honestly, he cannot escape his father no matter how far they are geographically from each other. The only thing that can free Jidenna from the whims and claws of his father is death.
I tried to describe Jidenna's pain as vivid as I could. I hope I did a good job sha.
This week would be busy even now that I'm home, but I'll work on an update. We will be having a brand-new POV in the next Chapter🌚. I already said that this book will have five, some more recurring than the others. We already have four.
Who do you think is the last?
In the mean time, don't forget to VOTE! COMMENT!! SHARE!!! Merry Christmas in Advance🎅❤️.