She returned home in a daze. Cheetos, Robitussin, cookies, a loaf of bread and more bunched up in her arms. Maxine was sitting in the living room, on the couch, watching TV still.
"Here you go," Alicia said, dropping the snacks near her.
"Thanks. Want some?" Maxine asked.
Alicia didn't answer. She went to the wall mirror by the kitchen and began looking herself over. Rodney Greene, crazy Rodney Greene had walked all the way to her home at 1 in the morning to speak to her. Had said he couldn't stop thinking about her. She couldn't believe it. Oh, look at her hair. Her outfit. She couldn't go back out to see him like this...but he was waiting. He wanted to talk.
The strange, handsome boy that entered her life like a storm wanted to talk. She felt as though any second now she would have a meltdown. Like a wired robot, she started for the door when Maxine stopped her.
"Where are you going?" Maxine asked.
"I—I realized I wanted something downstairs now."
"Oh, you could have some of mine. I don't mind sharing."
"No, it'll only take a second. Be right back," Alicia said, leaving before Maxine could say another word.
She saw him as she walked down the hall. He was watching her come to him. When she was close enough, he opened the door and she stepped outside. She whispered a soft thanks as he faced her. She thought about Maxine in the next second and how it was weird that Rodney and she were meeting one another, but she casted that thought aside. For the last few weeks, she thought about him first thing in the morning and first thing at night. And now he was here.
"Thank you. I know it's late, so I appreciate you meeting me," he said and she nodded. "...how have you been these past few weeks?"
She wanted to talk about what he said earlier, but thought maybe she shouldn't push him yet. She stared into his chocolate-brown eyes. Though she was happy about the library, her job and life left her feeling hollow. She missed the summer days with him when they'd just run into each other and hang out.
"I'm fine," she lied.
"Really?" he asked and she nodded. "That's good to hear."
"What about you? How have you been?" she asked.
"I don't know. Like nothing matters," he sighed. "I just keep thinking about all the time I spent with you this past summer and how fun things were back then."
So they were thinking the same thing. She should've been honest.
"I just can't stop thinking about it," he half-smiled nervously.
It was interesting to see him be nervous. Normally, he acted arrogant and untouchable. This new side of him made her want to reach out and shield him from the world or whatever was making him uneasy. But there was something about his words that made her think what he said earlier wasn't what he meant.
"You're just thinking about the fun times we had earlier? You can do all those things still, you don't need me to be there. Just go with your friends—" she said.
"No, it isn't just the moment or the place," he said quickly. "It's the fact that I was with you that made it fun for me..."
She turned away from him because her face felt hot. Awkwardly, he looked away from her too. A car passed by to fill up the silence as Alicia rambled her head for how to respond to him. She should just be honest, but this was Rodney she was talking about. She's never had a man like him interested in her. She had to have been dreaming.
"Can I come up to see the library?" he asked.
"Now?" she said.
He nodded, "I know it's late—"
"Maxine's home—"
"I'll be quiet. I'll use your fire escape, too."
She nodded then retreated into her building before she could say anything else. She breathed, not knowing what she was thinking by letting him in her room. But she wanted to talk to him more.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she rushed to her apartment. Maxine was still in the living room, but she had fallen asleep with her mouth open. The TV was on, but it wasn't loud enough. Stealthily, Alicia reached for the remote and turned the volume up. As the remote plopped beside Maxine on the couch, Alicia returned to her room. Rodney was already inside, sitting on the windowsill.
And Alicia's room seemed smaller with him in it. His tall stature and imposing aura filled up the spaces where she felt most empty. She moved to her desk to put her things down, hyperaware of the silence between them. Only a few minutes had passed before their talk. Would it be much harder to speak to him now that he was here in her world?
"You have to keep quiet because Maxine is sleeping," Alicia said and Rodney nodded.
Rodney got her attention when he started to move around her room. The room moved with him. As she refused to look at him, the room did, it's awaiting eyes searching for his every expression, every action. Alicia didn't understand it. She was electrified just by Rodney looking around her room—
"It's small," he said and she jumped because he was behind her.
She turned to face him, "N-no it isn't."
"It's welcoming though and the library looks good. I did a great job," he smiled.
He sat in the chair across from her bed.
She froze over when he kept looking at her bed, waiting for her to sit across from him on it. She held her breath and did so. Sitting on her bed around him made her nervous.
"Why didn't you tell me you did this?" she asked.
"Because it could've gone wrong. I've never designed something before. In the past, I've only helped my manager by making alterations to already designed plans," he said. "But once I decided I was going to do it...I couldn't sleep. Your birthday was around the corner so I stayed up late often trying to finish the layout. Once that was complete, it was easy to find some people to do it for me. I just called in some co-workers of mine."
She didn't know he could be diligent and such a hard-worker to this scale. She felt like crap for looking down on him all those months ago.
"How much did it cost to do?" she asked.
"Well..." he hesitated.
"Tell me," she said.
"It doesn't matter—"
"It does to me. I know doing something like this isn't cheap," she said.
How could he have afford something like this for her when he lives on his own and also has a car he has to pay insurance for?
"Don't worry about it. I wanted to do this for you," he said.
"Why?"
"Because you deserve it," he said.
Giving up, she chuckled and shook her head.
"From now on, if you ever need anything, let me know. I'll give it to you," he said.
"Really?"
"Yes," he said.
"That's...sweet of you..." she blushed.
He was looking at her with gentle, brown eyes that made her heart flutter in her chest. Biting her lip, she spoke.
"Did you mean it? What you said back there?" she asked.
He nodded, "I—I guess you feel weird about it—"
"No, no! I don't," she said. "I was just wondering if something triggered it...like maybe, Dezzi?"
Rodney's eyes darkened at the mention of Dezzi. Was he jealous? The idea of someone like Rodney being jealous of someone like Dezzi was ludicrous to her, but she couldn't put it aside after his reaction.
"I don't like him," Rodney admitted, "He seems...sneaky, distrusting. Like a fox playing with a wolf."
"Am I the wolf?" she asked.
Rodney smiled, "I've had my share of arguments with you to know that eventually you would've fought him back."
Alicia squirmed in her seat and looked away. If only he knew about the night she had sex with Dezzi, maybe Rodney wouldn't have thought she was a wolf. Maybe he'd think she was a little lamb.
"Wolves have weak moments, too," she said.
Rodney frowned, "...How long did you work with him?"
"Since I started the internship."
"That long?" Rodney asked and Alicia nodded, "Did you...?"
Alicia blushed, "Why are you asking me that?"
"I—well, I saw the way the two of you were cozied up at your event that one night. You seemed really physically close. That's why I thought he was your boyfriend," Rodney said, his face getting hot too.
"I already told you he's not," she grumbled.
He chuckled softly and it got quiet between them. Rodney was looking right at her, but she didn't know what else to say. Finally, he spoke.
"So, you're not weirded out by what I told you earlier. How do you feel then?" he asked.
"I can't stop thinking about you, too," she blurted out.
Embarrassed, she covered her lips as his eyes grew wide with elation. Unable to contain his excitement, he got up and sat down beside her on the bed. With him so near, she sat rigidly, unable to stop breathing in his fresh scent. He seemed to be unaware of the affect he had on her.
"You feel it too?" he asked.
"Y—yes, I mean, I don't know. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about you. Does this mean I like you...? If it does, do you feel the same way about me? Someone like you can't feel that way about me," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I mean, look at you," she said.
"Look at you," he said, amused.
"I mean your type is Maxine. This is stupid. What are we saying to each other?" she said, rising, "Look, it's late. Why don't you just head home and I'll forget we ever had this conversation?"
He rose too, "I told you, I can't leave yet. This is my chance to talk things through with you and now that I know how you feel, I can't just cast that aside—"
"I don't know what type of game you're playing, but I'm not with it. We use to argue like crazy and now you expect me to believe—believe that you feel something for me? That's not true—"
"You're scared just like I am. Well, I won't be afraid anymore for the both of us," he said.
"Rodney, enough—"
He stepped up to her. Overwhelmed by his presence, she couldn't finish her sentence. It didn't matter though. In the next second, he was pulling her face to his and placing his mouth over hers.
Her mind shutdown. Instinct kicked in. All Alicia thought about was how soft Rodney's lips were. Silently, with his lips, he taught her how to kiss, how to create the suction that would hold their lips together. After a second, Rodney's hands slid down and around her back, pulling her in closer. Alicia's shaking hands went up to his biceps and began to dig into them. She felt dizzy.
She felt so warm, so hot. It was hard to breathe. Normally when Dezzi kissed her, she was able to grasp the world around her so why was it slipping away now?
She felt herself swaying suddenly and realized that Rodney was turning her around, towards a bed, hers. Somewhere in the back of her brain, she took note of this and raised alarm, but her mind didn't register.
With his body pressed against hers, she felt everything, including his arousal. In the back of her throat, she made a noise as her knees weakened and she fell onto her bed. He went over her, the kiss never-ending. He kept pressing against her that before she knew what she was doing, she separated her legs for him. At her center, she felt wet; down there, she was pulsating. Rodney deepened the kiss as Alicia's heart pounded in her ears. When he gave her his tongue, she gasped, pulling her lips away. His lips went to her neck as he continued to move over her.
"Rodney, wait," she said, her eyes closing over her.
He didn't pay attention to her weak protest. Instead his hand cupped her breast as teeth softly sunk into her skin. She arched herself against him and caught her breath. She had to stop him now or they wouldn't be stopping tonight. Maxine was right outside for heaven sakes. But what he was doing felt too good to stop. She didn't understand. From being with Dezzi she thought sex was about taking care of a man's needs, not a man awakening hers.
"Rodney..." she whispered.
"Why?" he murmured.
"This is going too fast."
"I'll go slower..."
He will? She hadn't expected him to say that. Dezzi would've told her to get used to it instead of actually listening to her. Rodney's heavy breathing made her forget what she was thinking. She blinked several times as Rodney came in to cover his mouth with hers again. Quickly, she ducked and this time, he released her. They sat up on her bed, catching their breaths.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"I have to tell you something—I'm not really—"
"I know. You've never done it before."
"I didn't say that."
"You have?" he asked.
"Why do you sound surprised?" she asked him.
"Whenever I use to look at you for longer than five seconds, you would grow uncomfortable...and then, there's when I touch you," he said, a finger tracing her arm.
She shivered, "You're different."
"So, you've done it before?" he asked.
She didn't say anything at first. She just watched him trace her arm. His eyes were low and still filled with desire. She forced herself to breathe as he met her eyes. She held his stare.
"Yes, I have," she said.
"Did you lose it in high school?" he asked her.
"Did you?"
"Yes," he answered, "When I was 17. Wasn't anyone important."
"Really?"
He nodded, "So, who did you lose it to?"
"It—wasn't to anyone serious honestly," she replied, "And it was only one time so, I'm kind of inexperienced. That's what I was going to say before. I'm not really good at sex...."
He looked at her for a minute and she wondered if he got anything from her explanation that she lost her virginity to Dezzi. She tried not to tremble under his touch. He seemed to be doing it absentmindedly and he was right, his touch did cause her to grow antsy.
"Okay, if you're not ready yet, we'll take it slow then," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her neck.
The heat of him so close to her made her want to turn and look at him again, but she knew the outcome of that. Instead, she rose so that some distance would be in between them, but he grabbed her wrist before she could move away from him.
"But this means you're my girlfriend now, right?" he asked.
"Huh?" she asked surprised.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.
"Really?" her eyes went large.
He nodded, "We'll go on dates and get to know one another, but then also...you can tell that sneaky co-worker of yours your off limits."
She smiled softly and nodded. She had never been someone's girlfriend before. What did that entail? Hope fluttered through her. Yet a part of her was still afraid because she didn't know what the future held and had never felt this way before, but she couldn't deny how she felt about Rodney Greene.
Still, how could Alicia go from being Maxine's friend to Rodney's girlfriend without telling Maxine anything?
Was it even possible that she could keep both people and be happy?
She reached out and caressed his cheek.
Thank you for reading/voting!!! I have a work conference trip coming up so see you in two weeks 🥲- Bas