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Light creeps into the room early, I grunt and attempt to shield my eyes. The sun doesn't face this direction in my bedroom, what the fuck was happening?
Slowly my eyes peel open, realising that I wasn't in my badly painted yellow room but instead Kassian's. I push myself up from the bed for a moment, looking down to his laying body beside me. Face down on the pillow, breathing silently. His bare back looked delicious to touch but I refrain.
For a moment the curse bubbles up in my stomach, a stinging pain running through my ribs. I wince for a moment and sigh. Mornings were always the worst, it was like the curse resets and I'm back to being a bitch.
But when I look back at Kassian's godly body, it makes it somewhat okay.
I had a place to live, food and my own space. Knowing that my situation could be a lot worse made it easier to be appreciative, even though that was hard as it is.
My head settles back into the pillow, pushing down on the mattress slightly. Kassian grunts and rotates his body towards me, away from the light. His hair was messily placed on top of his head, noticing how his lips were somewhat swollen and plush pink.
He breathes out deeply, moving his arm forward and resting it on my waist. I look down to the soft gesture, even though his touch made my skin crawl, burning deeply. After a few moments the alien feeling went away and I somewhat enjoyed it.
My eyebrows furrow at my own thoughts. Who the fuck was I?
A loud knock interrupts my thoughts and my eyes widen instantly. Kassian doesn't budge as the knocking continues.
"Kassian," I nudge his side to try and wake him.
He grunts, not wanting to be disturbed.
"Kassian," I say louder, this time pinching his skin between my fingers.
His body flinches at my touch, eyes shooting wide to look at me as he frowns and grunts. "What?" He huffs out, realising how tired his eyes actually looked.
"There is someone at the door." I tell him in a hushed tone. "And I should not be here."
Kassian closes his eyes and grunts, throwing the duvet from his body and standing from the bed. I watch carefully as he takes slow strides towards the door, stretching out his back muscles in the process.
He lands his palm onto the handle and rips it open, leaning one arm on the edge of the door. "What is it Mace?" He grumbles out.
"This was dropped off last night," Mace says, watching as Kassian is handed an envelope.
He glances down at it but I couldn't see his face, nor his reaction. "Last night?" Kassian says as he rubs his eyes.
"Yeah," he says. "Sorry for waking you, just thought you should know."
"Just what I wanted," Kassian responds with a glint of humour in his voice. "Disturbed on the day of rest."
"I'll see you at breakfast?"
"Maybe," Kassian nods before shutting the door and taking one look down at the letter.
He sighs and chucks it onto a dresser, watching it slide to the edge. Then his hands run over his face before he climbs back into bed beside me, feeling rather confused from the current situation but I wasn't going to fight it.
Admitting it was harder than I thought, my throat clenches as he settles between the sheets beside me.
When I turn to look at him he was already watching me, my lips purse as I attempt to pull up the covers to protect my chest. Considering I was still naked from last night, right now was not the time to flash him.
His fingers inch forward to clasp the necklace wrapped around my neck, his eyes gazing at it for a few moments.
My heart races as I look down, realising he's admiring the Guidant's Locket.
"Is this new?" He questions, furrowing his eyebrows together.
I shake my head. "No, it was Nella's. It's old." The lie falls from my lips far too easily.
Kassian's eyebrows raise for a second. "Surprised she'd give you something like this," he comments.
"Is it hard to believe that someone actually likes me?" I breathe out with a stiff laugh.
"No," he states instantly. "Just jewellery is personal, isn't it?"
"I guess," I shrug. "She likes to share."
Kassian nods instantly. "True."
"What's that letter?" I ask, not able to fight my curiosity anymore.
"It's nothing," he shakes his head into his pillow, closing his eyes like he was trying to ignore the problem.
My lips frown for a second. "You can talk about it if you want to talk about it," I say, trying to bring my breathing to a slow pace.
In a way I could do with focusing on someone else's problems other than mine, like a distraction from how shit my life is. Anything to push away the curse that was swirling inside of me, ready to unleash.
Kassian's dark eyes snap open to look at me, flicking from my eyes to my lips and then back to my eyes. He takes a deep breath and rolls onto his back, looking up at the ceiling and raising his hands to rest behind his head.
"It's from my grandfather," he says after a few moments.
"Oh," I breathe out. "Are you guys not close?"
"We used to be," he nods, his eyes laying on the same spot on the ceiling. "Shit happened."
"What happened?"
I bite down on my lip, realising I was pushing this conversation but I didn't know anything about Kassian, his family, his legacy. I knew nothing.
"We used to live here," he starts. "All together, my grandparents, my mum, dad."
My eyes study him carefully, I could tell this wasn't easy for him to talk about or the fact he hadn't talked about it much. To anyone.
"My grandfather was the Alpha, he's super powerful, highly respected and really well known. But they decided to move away, like far, far away. Up North but I didn't want to go." Kassian explains, taking his time.
"Why?"
Kassian sighs out loud. "It's gonna sound crazy but I've always had this instinct, this feeling that my mate is down South. I just couldn't bring myself to leave, it was like I would have no hope. But my grandfather and parents didn't like it at all. This was our home, why did I want to move miles and miles away?"
I purse my lips waiting for him to carry on, screaming inside that I got this much out of him already.
"They said I was tearing the family apart, family should stick together. But I knew what I was feeling, I know that she's here somewhere and deep down I couldn't just let that go." He mumbles out, a glaze of sadness covering his eyes.
A pang stings my heart as I watch him, my fingertips beginning to tingle at this strange conversation.
"So I decided to stay, Mace, Nella and Alfie stuck by my side. Along with a fair few others, they didn't want to move away from their families and where they grew up." Kassian moves his hands to rub his eyes. "I was positioned as the Alpha and we worked the rest out."
"How long ago was this?" I ask curiously, sliding my hand under my cheek and between the pillow.
"Four years ago," he states instantly.
My eyes widen for a second before I recover. "Do you talk to them often?"
Kassian shakes his head. "My grandfather likes to send a 'royal' letter every so often, but my parents barely check in. They're the ones who are most angry with me. Sometimes I wished that they would realise that it was their choice to move away. None of the pack got a say, it was either move or be ditched."
"So that's why you created your own pack?"
"Exactly, if we didn't go, we would have been rogue's like the rest. But luckily Mace and Alfie stuck by my side through it all. They don't know it, but they helped me get through all of this without doing something stupid." He sighs deeply.
I frown at his words, cutting through me to the bone. "I'm sure they know that you're appreciative of them." I state confidently.
"I'd like to think," he nods as he looks down to the bed, guilt clearly riding in his stance.
"Was it hard?" I ask, earning a look from Kassian. "Becoming Alpha so young and without your family?"
"Yeah," he nods quietly. "Yeah it was."
"Seems like you've adapted well," I comment honestly.
"It was tough," Kassian speaks loudly, like he wanted to get this off his chest. "I did some things I wasn't proud of, I treated some of my closest friends like trash because I was struggling. I didn't know how to raise a pack, guide them, or lead them. It was like I was thrown in the deep end straight away."
"Do you still feel like that?"
"Is it obvious?" His lazy eyes roll towards me.
"The anger, maybe just a tad." I say before pursing my lips.
Kassian's eyes flick between mine. "Sometimes it's like I can't control it, my anger," he grumbles out. "Maybe it's just the embedded hatred I have for my family not caring about how I felt, or how badly things ended. Or that sometimes I feel like I still don't know what I'm doing."
"You seem like a great leader," I admit, our eyes remaining on each other.
He doesn't say anything before looking down to the bed and smiling, a puff of breath shooting from his nose. "I seem?"
My eyes roll painfully. "Your pack respects you, they don't want to let you down, disappoint. That says a lot about you, earning respect from your pack is probably one of the hardest things. They could turn on you, abandon you but they've stuck by you because they want to be in your pack."
Kassian ponders for a few seconds, letting my words sink into his brain. "I suppose." He nods. "But I'm working on it... my anger issues."
"Well I'm glad for you," I nod back before stretching out my arms over my head. "I should probably go before Nella asks where I am."
He doesn't say anything as I lean down beside the bed to grab my t-shirt and underwear, attempting to cover my body somewhat so I could get dressed. Pushing myself off the mattress and standing, trying to ignore how wobbly my legs were. Praying that Kassian didn't witness them cramp up.
I turn back to him for a moment, not expecting his eyes to be firmly laid on my body. My lips push up into a forced smile before slipping through the door and down the hall, desperate to jump in the shower before everyone knew I was sleeping with him.
The warm water made my skin run cold like always, I grunt at the discomfort but push through so I could scrub every inch of my body, head to toe. Kassian's scent was still wafting up into my nose so I washed harder, rinsing my hair in and out of shampoo more times than I could count.
I rest a hand against the cold tile and drop my head, the water running over the back of my head and neck. My eyes close tightly as I think about what happened last night, how badly this could all end.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay away from him.
Everything about him was intoxicated, the more time I spent with him the more I wanted him. In every sense, but this was a dangerous game. A severely dangerous game.
"You're so bad Cleo," I grumble to myself. "So, so bad."
Once I felt like my body was fresh, free from any of Kassian's scent or my own arousal. I wrapped my body up in a towel and crossed the hall to my room, pushing open the door and staring back at the single bed and ugly walls.
This room felt nothing like Kassian's room.
My room felt lonely, sad and just downright depressing. Even my curse bubbles at the sight of it. No wonder I wake up in shit moods compared to waking up in Kassian's room. There was no comparison whatsoever.
"Knock, knock," Nella's voice turns me away from the four walls.
I rotate towards her, her eyes looking down my arms and the towel that is wrapped around my body. "Hi," I say.
"Just to let you know Hope and Alfie have cooked the most delicious breakfast and you should grab some before it's all gone," she says with a bright smile.
"Sure," I nod. "I'll get dressed and come down."
Nella's eyes watch me for a moment before she smiles but she doesn't say anything.
"What?"
"Guess someone had a good night," she drops her eye into a subtle wink.
"Get out," I point my finger to the door.
Nella chuckles to herself and turns on her heel. "You're glowing," she hums out with a wide smile. "Even with that pale skin."
"Nella!"
She holds her hands up in defence. "I'm going, I'm going!"
Her hand yanks on the door handle and shuts it behind her, leaving me alone to listen to my own heart beat erratically.
. . .
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Hello my loves! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
Kassian is finally opening up to our Cleo, only taken us 27 chapters to get here hahah
Which direction do you see the book going now?
Hope everyone is okay, I find December sooo stressful with work, writing and seeing friends and family. I am rather excited for the new year so I can take a breather.
How do you guys celebrate this month?
See you guys on the next one, love Sav x
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