My journey to the hospital was a blur. Barrelling through the front doors, my legs were like jelly and I barely made it to the reception desk without toppling over. The hospital was crowded with casualties presumably from the quake and rapidly bustling staff which I made my way through as quickly as I could following the directions for where they'd taken Ross.
When I finally rounded the last corner of the corridor and came face to face with his dusty and battered colleagues, I almost fell at their feet. Each face was a mask of concern and nerves, doing nothing to calm my already pounding heart, or silence the sea of worrying voices in my head.
"Tuck," I exclaimed as he stepped forward and practically caught me in his arms, holding me steady in a comforting hug. "Is he okay? What happened?"
"We haven't heard anything yet," He said sadly, pulling away, keeping a gentle hold on my arms, "They're still working on him."
"What happened?" I repeated.
He guided me toward the chairs where the others stood, JJ and a couple of the others giving me shaky smiles of welcome, their emotions clearly showing. Tuck took a chair next to me, then launched into his explanation:
"We responded to a shout at a parking garage after the quake hit. The structure was unsteady, beginning to collapse, " He began, "JJ, Ross and myself were tasked with evacuating the east side, it was in a bad way, but we'd almost gotten everyone out when we located a car beneath a heavy pillar."
He took a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair, light dust particles falling from the path his fingers took. His words were painting a terrible image in my head as I was forced to face my worst fears, feeling tears swim in my eyes, and my hands trembling upon my knee.
"The driver was trapped, but she wasn't the only one in the car. Her young son was in the backseat... and so was her baby."
"Oh my God," I gasped.
"We got her out," He assured me, and her son. But the upper level was falling, it was crushing more and more of the car with each second. We couldn't move the car, or we would have had a complete collapse, but the roof was getting so low that it was almost impossible to reach any further." His voice began to crack as he continued, "I was getting her son clear of the car whilst Ross continued to try and reach the baby. He couldn't reach from a safe distance, so he got in, I don't even know how he managed to, but he did, and somehow, he reached her."
I let out a strangled sob, but couldn't understand, and forced myself to focus as he carried on.
"I was almost back to the car when he came tumbling out of it, cradling her in his arms, I was so relieved to see them both. But there'd been too much movement, and it had taken too long to free her, the car roof caved completely and the whole floor above came crashing down on us. We were all buried in the rubble, a couple of the others are still being treated for their injuries, but nothing major. Ross took the biggest hit, and when we dug him out, his body was shielding the baby's... but we couldn't get him to breathe."
When he'd finally caught me up on the story of what had happened, I couldn't even think what to say. I just sat there staring at the closed doors up ahead, where I knew Ross was fighting for his life.
"Did the baby make it?" I asked when I finally managed to speak.
"Yeah, they're keeping her in overnight, just to be safe, but she's fine," JJ chimed in.
"I'm glad," I whispered.
A lump caught in my throat rendering me unable to comment further, myself and the others all falling silent, our combined attention never wavering from the direction of those doors up ahead.
The tension in the air was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. All of us waited impatiently for whatever scrap of news we could get. When the doors finally opened and a young male doctor in scrubs stepped out, approaching us, we all leapt to our feet anxiously.
"What is it? Is he okay?" I asked.
"Are you all here for Mr Abbott?" He asked the group at large as we nodded together. He dipped his head in acceptance, then went on, "We were able to revive him," The group all let out a collective sigh of relief, "But he isn't out of the woods just yet," He said clearly over us, "He's suffered a nasty blow to the head, multiple broken ribs, and a fractured collarbone. Due to these injuries and the severity of the incident, we need to run further tests and send him for some scans to rule out more serious issues such as internal bleeding or any swelling on the brain."
"But he'll be okay, right?" I squeaked fearfully.
He looked uncomfortable for a moment.
"We're doing all we can for him," He said flatly, "The results and next few hours will tell us more."
With a small nod to us once more, he departed, heading away from us again and leaving us to the agonising wait that lay ahead.
The hours passed by mostly in silence, only broken now and again by the hushed words of the other members of Station twenty-seven, as they updated one another on the conditions of their colleagues or made coffee runs to keep themselves awake. My eyes grew heavy, feeling dry and puffy from the hours of silent crying. It was whilst I sat there, rubbing them with the heels of my palms in an attempt to keep them open, that the sound of the doors opening rang through the corridor, followed by approaching footsteps. My head jolted upward instantly, and upon seeing the doctor drawing nearer, we all bounced to our feet, crowding in awaiting the news. I held my breath, feeling increasingly light-headed and shaky.
"What's the news, Doc?" Tucker asked, pulling me against his side protectively.
"We've had the results back, no internal injuries that we can see, and the brain scans are clear," He said calmly, "Mr Abbott's condition has remained stable the last few hours," He began to smile, "And he's now awake."
There was a loud collection of cheers and relieved laughs as we all huddled closer together, hugging one another and letting happy tears fall from our tired eyes.
"He's still weak, and needs time to rest and recover, but as long as there are no further complications, we see no reason why he won't make a full recovery."
"Can we see him?" JJ asked before I could even manage to voice the question.
"Only a few of you, and no more than one at a time," He replied firmly.
I felt Tucker's hand squeeze mine, and turned my tear-stained face toward him, meeting his smile with a watery one of my own.
"You go first."
It was only now, with the prospect of seeing him so close, that I suddenly thought about how things had ended with us.
"What if he doesn't want to see me?" I asked sadly.
Tucker shook his head with a laugh.
"No chance," He assured me, "He's missed you, Lena, and when stuff like this happens, you realise what really matters, and the importance of people in your life. Go see him, I know he'll be glad to see you."
I chanced a glance at the others and saw all of them nodding in agreement, flashing me reassuring smiles and ushering me forward. Taking a deep breath, I turned to the Doctor and allowed him to lead the way.
As soon as I laid my eyes on Ross, I felt like a fist had clenched around my heart. He looked so battered and the realisation of how close I'd come to losing him for good floored me. He'd technically died. Been snatched away from me... thank God they'd brought him back. Tears fell once again from my eyes, and I rubbed them away harshly, it felt like I was always crying lately, and right now, I didn't want to cry, I didn't want anything to hinder my view of the man that I loved, I needed to see him clearly, to know that this was real, that he was really still here, still alive.
I approached his bed cautiously. His eyes were closed peacefully, but I could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. That wasn't all I could see though, as I neared him and the dark bruising and stitched cut to his forehead came into view, along with the various minor cuts and bruises to his cheek and arms and the huge expanse of dark bruising over the right side of his collarbone. Coming to a stop at his side, I struggled to contain a gasp at the sight of these things and his wrapped torso which was shielding his broken ribs, but quickly tore my gaze from them as his eyelids flickered open and he smiled up at me.
"Hey," He breathed.
"Hey there," I sniffled, attempting to sound stronger as I went on, "Good to see you're awake, you had me worried for a minute."
"Only a minute?" He asked, his voice raspy and low in his condition, "Guess I need to step up my game."
He attempted a laugh, but let out a hiss as his body shuddered.
"Don't you dare," I warned him, "I don't think I could take it."
He smiled again and I felt my heart soar at the sight. I'd been longing to see that smile for too long, but I'd never expected this to be how I saw it again.
"You're hurt," He suddenly said, struggling to reach for my arm where the bandage was visible beneath my sleeve.
"It's nothing," I said dismissively, just a little consequence of today's event."
His fingers brushed my hand when he stopped reaching, and as they lingered against mine, I couldn't stop myself from taking them gently. My heart swelled when he didn't pull away, and I softly brushed my thumb over his knuckles.
"Definitely not a fan of earthquakes," He said playfully.
"Me neither!" I exclaimed, my voice then softening to barely a whisper, "I almost lost you because of this one."
"Not that easy to get rid of me," He commented, adding thoughtfully: "How did you know I was here?"
"Tuck called me, I came here as soon as I got the call, everyone's been out of their mind worrying."
He nodded to himself, muttering something under his breath and letting out a gentle sigh.
"They told me the baby made it, is everyone else okay?"
"Yeah, a few bumps and bruises, Jeremy had a dislocated shoulder, but they've put him in a sling, and he's good to go."
"Bet he's loving that," Ross said with a grin.
"Oh yeah, he was already trying to take it off as soon as he got through the door."
A nurse came by and did a few quick checks, both of us falling silent whilst she then jotted notes on his chart.
"Just a few more minutes, Miss," She said brusquely to me before departing.
I studied Ross's face as though attempting to commit it to memory, my feet feeling rooted to the ground, already making me wonder how I'd get them to move when the time came.
"What is it?" Ross asked, his hand squeezing mine slightly.
"I don't wanna leave you," I burst out, "When I got that call today, I thought I'd never see you again, that it was too late. And I couldn't bear to think about how things ended with us, the last time I saw you." The words were tumbling unchecked from my mouth, I couldn't stop myself. I needed him to hear this, "I hurt you so badly. I was a total bitch and I fucked things up because I was stupid and selfish... and many more things that I would say... but those kinds of words would be indecent to use in such a place," His lips twitched, but I didn't stop, meeting his eyes as I pressed on, "My point is, I don't blame you for hating me, Ross. I was awful and I don't deserve you, or your forgiveness. But I'm still going to work to earn it because I can't give up, not when I know that the only thing I really need in my life is you. I love you with all that I have, and I'll spend however long that you need, proving to you that I can be the woman that you once loved... better even..."
"Sorry, time's up," The doctor interrupted bringing my speech to an abrupt end.
There was so much more that I wanted to say. But I just nodded, accepting that my time was up and hoping that what I had managed to say was enough.
"Best go," I breathed whilst the doctor stepped away and I gave his hand a final squeeze. Before I could chicken out, I leant in and kissed his cheek, glad when he didn't push me away or turn from me. "I love you," I whispered as I pulled back.
Letting go of one another, I retreated from the bed, fighting not to return with each step I took.
"I don't hate you," He suddenly called out, his voice a little stronger, "I never hated you, Lena," He added. "You've always been the woman I love and that's never changed, even after all of this."
"What does that mean?" I asked timidly.
"For now... that's all it can mean."
The doctor began to usher me to the door, and I only managed one last fleeting glimpse of Ross in his bed, before I was back on the outside once more.