I stared at the ceiling above me after barely getting a blink of sleep. My eyes stung as I went over the imperfections of the paint coatings for the hundredth time. The sun was finally rising, meaning there really was no point at attempting to sleep. I stopped my alarm before it could ring, giving me a little more quiet time before I'd have to really get up.
Whether it was double checking that you locked the door or constantly looking back to make sure you're not getting followed you never have a chance to relax like this.
Gray confirmed with us all that we completed the job successfully after having someone stay behind, although I knew it would be. I was careful like I always was, and theres no way he wouldn't have been dead. I did every thing I was supposed to do without an inch of possible errors. It was my lifestyle, one that I never lost sleep over. I learned to live with the things I've seen and compress my feelings into a later time.
I rolled over to grab my phone, my body aching from the new position. Im sure I looked just as tired as I felt, but I was glad I showered last night so I wouldn't have to do a complex routine this morning. The next ten minutes was spent of me scrolling through countless reminders, emails, and texts i was never going to get to, until I reached Florence's.
It wasn't common for her to text me out of no where when our texts usually consisted now of late flirting. I almost smile at the pictures we sent previous nights, giving her a show of the new pieces I picked out.
These texts were a lot less, sexual, the the previous though. They were sent minutes after each other, both warning me of what was to come.
Flo.
Received 7:07 am.
Someone died at the party yesterday, cops have reason to believe it's a suicide but some are leading to a staged murder.
Flo.
Received 7:15 am.
They have to question everyone who came in contact with him. I saw you two together a lot last night, just warning ya. X
She was a sweet girl, both figuratively and literally, but too good for me nevertheless. Maybe I could send her flowers of some sort later as a little thank you gift. She seemed like a person who would enjoy that along with dinner. I wasn't a date type of person so it would be nothing like that, just a little fun like usual.
To Flo.
Sent 7:10 am.
Thank you for the warning sweet girl, I'm sure I'll be fine though. Wishing you well for having to see something like that.
Yeah, wishing you well for seeing something that I caused.
Before I could close out of her contact two bodies came tumbling into my room, sniffing and whining as they lay on my bed. Gray looked as if he just rolled out of bed while Val looked like she had been ready hours ago. They both held pouts on their face, ones I knew I would have to hear about even if I protested.
Gray, the biggest sweet-heart I know. Always thinking of other people before himself, focusing on the present rather then the future or the pass. Too nice for his own good. Florence reminds me of him a bit, both being absolutely angels despite the harsh environment around them.
Valerie was the same, only being more honest with her words. She wanted everyone to know when they were wrong but in the nicest way possible.
"What's wron—" I start, Gray's interruption stopping me before I could finish, shooting out his own reasonings. "Veronica wants to see me again. Like, seriously. I've been dodging her for the past couple of days but she's starting to get upset over it. Of course I wanna see her but I can't, there's no way I'm bringing her this close to my life right now." He spits out, running his hands through his hair.
"Do you want to see her? I mean, I saw how well you two got along during the first date so I don't know why you're dodging her now. Not much has changed in your life in the past two weeks. " I say laying my head back onto his shoulder. "I do." He admits quietly. "She's nice to me, and I've already asked her on a second date ages ago. Can't just ditch her like that, she deserves better."
I liked seeing him finding a girl that liked him just as much he did. While it was rare, they always loved each other till their lights burned out. I've only met this girl once, but she seemed sweet enough once she realized I was in the room with her.
"There's your answer Gray, give her an excuse of why you couldn't see her and make it up in a way she'd forget about it."
He has the glimmer back in his eyes, like this was exactly what he needed to hear to not feel helpless. I just knew whatever he was going to she would love. He was a smart guy, one with an heart of gold.
Valerie's frown deepens, tears welling up in her eyes. I was never good with emotions, and if she started crying I wouldn't be able to help her. "You guys are so lovely. God, not even in a relationship yet and you're already planning out ways to do better for her." She has the saddest look on her face, cracking a small smile. "At least she knows you want to spend time with her, my girlfriend doesn't even want to go out to dinner with me before we meet my entire family."
She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes and rubbing circles on the exposed area of her stomach. It was a calming method. She didn't want to cry in front of us and cause us to worry about her. It didn't help that we all knew why El didn't want to hang out with her before the trip. It wasn't because she hated her, it was the opposite.
She was planning on proposing on the trip and let the nerves get the best of her. She knew how much Val's family meant to her and this was the perfect place to do it.
Marriage was a foreign thing to all of us, so it was a shock when El told us that she planned on proposing. For the years I knew her she always swore up and down that she'd never get married, but Val changed that. If everything goes well— when everything goes well maybe their relationship could go back to normal. The proposing could excuse why El was always gone easily, easing Val's mind.
But for now, they both just needed to get their mind off their problems. There was nothing I could do for either of them but reassure them like I have been. "Why don't we go somewhere? Gray we can talk about what you're going to do with Vanessa and that'll busy Val with something other then El." I suggest, sitting up and pulling off the covers.
"Val, El loves you. More then anything. I wish I could show you how much she truly does but you have to just trust her for now." She gives me the best smile she could muster, getting up out of my bed and back into the hallway.
I get up and put on a long sleeved black shirt and some jeans, keeping my face bare and just freshening up real quick. It wasn't especially cold outside, but still not warm enough to comfortably wear anything less.
In no more than thirty minutes later they both came back fully dressed and in slightly better moods. With no plan in mind we got in the car and drove out the neighborhood, before she grabbed my arm stopping me from turning left. "Could you take me to my meeting? I kinda forgot and I want to get there early." Valerie ran her fingers through her freshly curled hair lightly, separating each piece. She was set to start filming her new movie in a few weeks that she was more then prepared for, most likely being the only one who already has her lines highlighted and memorized.
She's crazy about this type of shit.
Getting there early to her was two hours early, but I had no complaints. It was something to distract Gray with and she said we could wait out side the room in the entertainment suite, which was good for all of us. Gray is gaming his heart out, and I can shut my eyes for a little while on one of the couches. Or, attempt to at least.
"Do you think they have food here?" Gray suddenly asks, turning around from the arcade game. "I would assume so." I answer simply looking up from my phone. "Do you think you can find us some?" He asks again. His voice carried around the room, being a lot louder then it needed to be. "I guess? What do you expect me to get?" He huffs like I'm the one annoying him. "I dunno, anything."
I roll my eyes, collecting my stuff and walking out the room. Throughout the signs on the walls I find my way into a small cafe. The menu was somewhat scarce, so I settled on two lattes and muffins. While wait wasn't long, I almost felt someone staring at me. It only led me to be more paranoid, even when I turned around and no one was even near us. The woman hands me the drinks as I thank her softly, doing my best to hold the items without spilling.
Thankfully, I stop my self from tumbling into the frantic man not paying attention to who he was about to walk into. My arm shoots out to slightly push back his shoulder, stopping him before he could collide into me. With just my luck, I remembered the body language nearly immediately and put a name to the man.
Harry looked different with bloodshot eyes and hair covering his face, and I almost would've believed he was just hungover if it wasn't for the mentally tired look on his face. He gives me a quick apology, not daring to meet my eye as he begins to walk away."Harry? Are you okay?" I ask, internally cringing at myself. He stops in his tracks, turning around to look at me and sticking his phone into his pocket. "Did you know?" He questions, "about the murder I mean."
I nod my head yes and shrug, parting my lips to say something, anything. "Right, Florence must've told you." He gives me a pained laugh, hanging his head down. "Harry are you okay? You don't look too well." I selfishly ask. I didn't have a right to be concerned about something I was the cause of.
"No Cherry, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I can't sleep, I can't eat. A man died in my house, and I was unaware of it the whole night. I should be aware of those types of things right?" He lets his voice crack slightly, wiping under his nose. "It's pathetic I know, but his kids. How do I help his kids when it's my fault their dad is dead? Please, I know you don't care but I don't know what I'm doing." He all but begs.
Never have I ever felt an ounce of remorse for something I had to do. It was a feeling I wasn't used to and didn't want to get used to. But I felt bad for Harry, I felt bad that he was losing sleep over something I caused. I hated Harry though. I hate him so much so I shouldn't even care. David deserved to be dead.
"It's not your fault, so don't think like that. Just because I don't particularly like you that doesn't mean I'm going to let you kill your self worrying about this. I could've said something before I left, but I left him angry and drinking. If anyones to blame it's me. But it's neither of ours problem anymore. No point of crying over something you cannot change."
His face morphs into something I can't describe, eyes crinkling in the corners. "How can you not feel remorse about this? Do you not feel bad about the guy you were opening your legs to is dead? He could've had young children now without a father." He furrows his brows with a frown, tilting his dead to the side. "I don't, he wasn't a good person and I can't lie and say that I do. But, I do care about how you feel about it." I whisper, not caring to lie.
Harry scoffs. "I saw a man dead on my floor. A lifeless body laying on my floor and I couldn't do anything about it." His face heated up in either anger or disbelief, or both. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm not sorry he's dead." He laughs, looking up to the ceiling and shaking his head. "You did it didn't you? Kill him?" His voice was now void of emotion, proving he already knew the answer and just wanted me to say it. Honestly, I could've easily denied it and went on with my day. I should've, but I was still opening my mouth and blabbing.
"He was a pedophile." The information was harder to find than it was to hide. Anyone with these connections can hide something like that without any questions being asked and that's how we didn't know until after. I should've known from the way he talked to me, the way he was so persistent on whether or not I was 'clean'. Men like him never hid it well. It was like they were proud to say they preyed on the young and innocent and got away with it.
Harry looked like he was about to throw up, or pass out. I don't know if it was from the lack of sleep or the news he just found out. "You're lying. You're lying because you're guilty and you don't want to face the consequences." He snaps, pointing a finger at me.
I fight the urge to roll my eyes as I scoff. "I am guilty but I'm not lying." I lower my voice, leaning closer to him. "You need some rest before you pass out from exhaustion." He ignores me completely, slapping his hands onto his head. "You're going to kill me right? You really weren't lying yesterday."
"Oh my god I'm not going to kill you!" Yet, "It was to get you to leave me alone." Only an half-way lie, but I didn't need him throwing up, passing out, then choking on his own fluids out of fear. "I'll leave you alone, don't kill me." He raises his hands in defense, his fingers shaking and eyes glossing over. I don't know why he was here, but he obviously wasn't well enough to stay. He didn't want to stay in his own place, and I didn't know where Florence stayed.
"I won't, promise."
He almost cracks a smile, before wiping his eyes and mumbling something about that being pathetic. "You know Valerie don't you? Would she let me stay with her for a couple of days?" He asks, and when I know she would without doubt we were leaving in a week. "We actually have a trip we're going on to meet her family, but I'm sure she'll let you stay when she's gone." I answer hesitantly.
The drinks were getting cold and I'm surprised Gray wasn't blowing up my phone wondering where the food was at. "That won't be needed, I'll simply come with." He invites himself, a smirk growing on his tired face. His entire mood changes, his emotions doing a fully one-eighty shift. "I mean, it's the least you can do. If I'm hiding the fact you murdered someone In my house I deserve to come. Im guessing since you all are going it's a couples thing, am I right?" I nod slowly, answering his question. "And you don't have a partner, and no need to answer that, I already know. So, I don't rat you out and you take me as your date."
I almost slapped him right there for that stupid request. Even if he did decide to tell the police he wouldn't get far. It's my word against his in the end. "What's in it for you?" I shift the cup holder under my arm as I wait for him to answer.
"If the media sees me going out with someone with my past they will have a field day. You're just the person for that, private enough that it wouldn't be marked as a PR stunt." He seemed to have this all figured out already thinking I'd say yes.
"No, no way." I immediately say. There was no way in hell I was going to stay him for two weeks while pretending to be his new fling. I wasn't an actor and my dislike for him clearly showed. "You're insane if you thought I'd agree to that." He sighs, pulling out his phone that showed a voice message app that recorded our entire conversation.
I did not just get played by Harry Styles.
"I'm sure the police department would love this tip don't you?" He hum's, stopping the recording. "So what time should I be ready for pick up? Can't wait to tell Val the news." All I wanted to do was slap that stupid smile off his face, but that would've done me more harm than good in the end. "Black mailing is illegal and so is recording a private conversation." I mention, shooting him dangers.
"Who do you think they'll put in the slammer first? Me or you? Think they would let us share a bunk?" He was treating this like a joke, like it was a grade A prank he pulled on me. "Fuck you, do you really think Val would allow someone I hate to come on a trip with us?" He gives me another look, a smirk playing against his lips. "We will see."
By the time I got back to the entertainment room Gray was already on the next thing, forgetting about the food completely and not bothering to know where his best friend had been for the past thirty minutes. Harry had gone to his meeting, and Val was set to come back in an hour. I had yet to tell Gray what happened while I was gone and I was in no rush to admit I had been played by a man. I would never hear the end of it from the both of them especially with Harry going on the trip with us.
He interrupted Val's planning to tell her the news, and to say she was surprised was an understatement. She was happy to have another body on the trip but to hear he would be coming as my date was to say the least surprising. Thankfully, he didn't mention anything about the recording when she asked what changed my mind.
My head was throbbing and felt twice the size from the lack of sleep. I wanted to get home and lay in my bed till it was time to wake up the next day. I had yet to pack for the trip we were leaving for in a week, and knowing them a week would turn into two, so I'd have to pack for three. But that was the least of my worries. Lying might've always my strong suit, but acting wasn't. We wouldn't be able to pull off acting like a couple around people who knew me the most out of anyone else.
No one seems to care that we don't have eyes on David's kids either.
I seemed to be the only one who takes my job seriously sometimes, and it pisses me off. We didn't know how old the kids were and I didn't have the knowledge to find out. We hired people for this, and frankly, I was being generous for even thinking about this. It was Billy's and Elizabeth's problem. Their order. I was just the one who went through with the hard part of it all.
It should've been their responsibility to make sure there wasn't any speed bumps to get around. And kids? That was the largest one of them all. It didn't matter how old they were, grieve causes people to do a lot of things to fix the hole that was left.
I closed my eyes as my migraine grew as the lights seemed to get brighter, and the slight tapping of Grays fingers erupted in my ears. I wanted to tell him to stop it and just be quiet for a few moments, but that was only going to get him to worry about me instead.
Why was I slipping up? Why Harry's sudden appearance in my life cause me to spiral already?
Things were getting bad again and there's nothing I can do about it.
-
published : feb 13, 2023
edited : dec 9, 2023