[ ch. 4 ]
[ such a brilliant star you are ]
By lazhton
AO3
-~-~-~-
Michael is late.
This shouldn't come as a surprise to Luke, given the fact that it's Michael and being late isn't exactly something infrequent, but Luke had purposely turned up ten minutes after their arranged time, and that was ten minutes ago, and so Michael is late even for his standards.
It's not a big deal, really - it's not like they have a bus to catch, or they're going to the cinema and have to be there by a specific time, it doesn't matter if he's late, exactly, it's just that Luke is kind of really, really awkward, especially when he's by himself. He doesn't know what to do. Should he stay standing up, or should he find somewhere to sit down? Should he change position - except no, people might think he's pacing, and he doesn't want to look strange in public. What does he do with his hands? Should he pretend to text? But what if people realise that he's faking and laugh, and he could play games on his phone but he'd forgotten to charge it last night and the battery is low -
And yeah, Luke isn't really great at this whole 'being in public' thing, but he tries, okay. If Michael would just hurry the fuck up, he'll be fine -
"Um, is anyone here called Lucas?"
Well, shit. Luke is. Kind of. He's supposed to be.
(Immediately, he panics, thinking that Michael's done something stupid on the way here and accidentally landed himself in a coma. Which makes no sense because why would he have Luke as his emergency contact? Either way, he steps forward, nervously.)
"Um, I am?" he offers, wondering why he sounds so unsure. It is his name, after all, he's just not very used to hearing it. "I mean. I guess I am."
The guy in question turns to look at him, and Luke's about 90% sure he wasn't the 'Lucas' he'd been hoping for, because, a) he is not dressed in the typical wear of a hospital official, actually, he doesn't look official at all, and b) he is kind of extraordinarily pretty. Like, he has big eyes and lightly tan skin and messy, curly hair.
And a big smile that lights up when he looks at Luke and he beams at him.
"Hey!" he says, almost bounding over towards him. He sort of reminds Luke of a puppy dog, in a totally non-creepy, no-bestiality-involved kind of way.
"Um," Luke says. "Hi?"
"So. Okay. You're Lucas, yeah? I'm Ashton, Niall's friend?"
Luke blinks. "It's, I prefer Luke?"
As soon as it's out of his mouth, he realises that his first topic of conversation should probably have been either who are you, or who is Niall, or both. It's just, Luke's really not very good at talking, and he's even worse at talking to strangers. He gets nervous and his words jumble and he stutters a bit, and it really isn't pretty, and he knows he needs to get himself out of this hole before he digs it any further but, like, he doesn't know how.
"Right, well, um," Ashton says. "Hi Luke," he smiles, shyly. "Sorry if that was a bit, like, full-on. I was worried that I was in the wrong place? Or you were gonna stand me up, and I hadn't seen a picture, Niall just said you were tall and blonde but then there were like, three guys who fitted that description so I just got a bit nervous and called out? I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable."
Okay, so that's what he thinks is the cause of Luke's shyness and probable blushing. He suddenly feels immensely guilty, because apparently Ashton has been stood up. Maybe. And like, that's got to suck, and Luke doesn't how to deal with this.
This is all Michael's fault.
"Hi," he says, smiling weakly. "So, um, what's-"
"I was just thinking we could go and get some coffee?" Ashton shrugs. "Like, that's totally cliche, I know, but I thought we could just get to know each other?"
Luke takes a few seconds too long to reply, evidently, pre-occupied with thoughts on how he can actually get himself out of this situation without either looking like a creep, a stalker, an idiot, or just hurting Ashton's feelings.
"Um," Ashton clears his throat. "Niall did tell you about this, right? Like. That this is a date? That he set up? Because if not that'd be a bit awkward-"
And here is when Luke should stop and gently explain to Ashton the scenario, and admit that he is kind of socially inadaquate, and that he's really very sorry.
Luke does not do that.
Luke panics.
Luke is a fucking idiot.
"No, no, he did," Luke hears someone say. Apparently it's him. He wonders why he's doing this to himself while he says it. Maybe he's a sub-conscious masochist. "I don't know Niall very well though, it's mostly through a friend?"
"Yeah?" Ashton says, with a nervous but relieved smile on his face. "So you're alright with this? It's just, you look a bit freaked out right now?"
"Oh, I'm just - I'm just kind of shy."
"That's okay. I'm not shy at all, so maybe I can help get you out of your shell," the grin on Ashton's face is adorable, and Luke is a terrible person.
"Um, yeah, maybe. Hopefully. You seem nice. Really nice, I mean-"
"Relax, Luke, it's okay," Ashton's unbearably nice. Luke is going to hell. "So, um, shall we go?"
And so that's how Luke, social failure and a physical embodiment of human awkwardness, ends up on an accidental blind date with the prettiest boy he's seen in a while. He can't think of a single way that this can't go wrong, but there is one thing that he's sure of:
He's going to murder Michael Clifford.
::
The place that Ashton takes him to is nice. It's low-key and quiet, quaint and on the edge of town. Somehow, conversation hadn't been too bad on the way here. Like, for Luke's standard, it'd been pretty good. So he's hoping it won't be a total disaster.
(And then he has to stop and remind himself that he's not actually Ashton's date, and that is definitely something that is going to come up. Maybe not now, but Ashton will probably have some questions when the aforementioned Lucas calls him up and apologises for missing their date. Luke imagines that he might be quite confused in that situation.)
"Is this place okay?" Ashton asks him, nervously. He's cute when he's nervous, Luke thinks; he avoids eye contact, looking down at the table with a little anxious half-smile, and he threads his fingers together.
Luke likes noticing people's nervous habits. He finds it interesting, because sometimes it's the only thing that will give away that somebody isn't as confident as they think. They'll be smiling all over and they can appear as charismatic as anything, but the bitten nails or chapped lips will still remain apparent. And he likes that, likes that he's not the only person who feels shy or out of his depth, it makes him feel more on the same level with Ashton, more comfortable, somehow.
"Yeah," Luke says, smiling shyly. "It's nice here. I like it."
Ashton looks relieved. "I was worried you'd find it boring, or too quiet," he admits. "But, like, first date, especially when we don't know anything about each other - I kind of wanted to get to know you a bit? Otherwise what's the point, really," he shrugs. "I don't know. I'm not great at this."
"Me neither," Luke tells him. "I'm hardly an expert on blind dating."
Ashton blushes. "I mean, neither am I," he says. "It's not something I do. Like. I'm not desperate, but - um, when you like guys, you're kind of limited? And Niall said he knew someone and. I just took a risk, I guess?"
"Me too," Luke lies. He feels guilty. He's accidentally entirely screwing up Ashton's entire first blind date experience. This was not the plan. "That's good though, I think. We're both - um, in the same boat?"
"Yeah," Ashton smiles, looking more relaxed now. "That's nice, yeah. I don't think we're doing too badly. The weather hasn't been mentioned yet, so that's always a good sign."
"Now you mention it, it's been pretty sunny lately, yeah?" Luke teases, and Ashton rolls his eyes.
"Fuck you, man," he says, flipping him off. "You want a drink?"
Once they've both sat down again with their drinks, Luke feels a lot more relaxed. Ashton's kind of okay to talk to, and it's not as awkward as he would have thought it to be. He doesn't think he's made a complete idiot out of himself, at least not yet. Then again, there's still time.
And then his phone rings.
"Shit," Luke mutters under his breath, checking the caller ID quickly underneath the table top, his eyes narrowing when he reads The Fire of my Loins lit up across the screen, which translates into Michael Clifford. "I'm really sorry to be rude, but, um, my friend and bandmate is calling, and we were supposed to meet up and practice today but I, well, I obviously ditched him to see you, so, um, yeah, is that okay, I-"
Ashton laughs a little - probably at Luke's failure to communicate like a normal human - and says, "yeah, sure, take your time," and Luke thanks him quickly before scrambling up from the table and stumbling into the bathroom.
"Mikey," he hisses, voice low. "I am going to crucify you."
"Well," Michael's voice is crackled down the phone line, but he doesn't sound threatened. He sounds amused. To which, rude, because Luke is totally threatening. "That's not very nice."
"You stood me up!"
"Actually, I think you'll find you stood me up," Michael says. "Which is why I'm calling, actually, where are you?"
Luke blinks. "What? We said twelve at the town centre. You never showed up."
"No, we said one at the town centre. It is now one. Which is why I am currently at the town centre. Which you aren't at, by the way, which reminds me, where are you?"
"No, it was definitely twelve," Luke insists, and then he sighs. He should probably tell someone about his current situation, and Michael is as good as anyone else, given that he's kind of the only person available right now. "So, hey, about where I am, you're probably not gonna believe this, but-"
"Hang on," Michael says. "I'm putting you on speaker phone. Calum's here. By the way, Cal agrees with me, it was one, right, Cal?"
"It was one," Cal says.
Luke rolls his eyes. It's pointless arguing with them. Calum and Michael are like one entirety when they're together. Team Malum, or something, or at least that's what they named their shared save-file on Just Dance.
He hates them both.
"So anyway, what did you do?" Michael continues. "How'd you fuck up this time?"
"Excuse me."
"Spit it out, we don't have all day," Calum chimes in, and Luke is about to glare at them before he remembers that he is alone in a bathroom stall. On an accidental blind date. Oh. Yeah.
"I'm kind of on a date?"
"What?"
"How much did you pay them to agree to it?" Calum asks. He can hear them high-five in the background of the phone and rolls his eyes.
"Okay, so basically, this guy was like, in town and he was asking for someone called Lucas? So I was like, hey, that's me, and he was like hey! Great to meet you! Niall sent me, I'm your date! And like, he was obviously looking for some hot guy to go out with called Lucas, and like, I accidentally made him think that I was his date? So now we're getting coffee together and I'm too awkward to explain that there's been a mistake? And I'm not his date? And I don't know what to do?"
There is a very long pause. And then laughter. Luke's not sure what else he expected, honestly.
"Hemmings," Michael splutters. "Are you fucking serious?"
"Um," Luke says. "Yes."
"You," Calum snorts (attractive). "Are a fucking idiot, oh my God."
"Thanks."
"No, like, really. Even for you, that's shameful."
"Thanks. What do I do, though? Help me!"
"No way," Michael cackles, and he sounds alarmingly like a witch. Luke is concerned. "You're on your own here, Lukey."
And then the phone line cuts off.
Luke despises his friends.
::
"Are you okay?" Ashton asks, eyebrow raised when Luke eventually returns to the table.
"Yeah," Luke says, quickly. "I was just, um, band thing. Michael needed help on a song they were writing. I'm, um, famous for my rhymes."
Ashton looks amused. "Right," he says. "That's a pretty good talent."
"I try?"
"Niall didn't mention you were in a band," he continues. "What do you do? Other than rhyming, of course."
"Yeah, I rhyme," Luke swallows. "I can rhyme all the time. No. That was lame. I'm sorry."
"It was pretty bad," Ashton grins. "But also - it was also cute. Don't worry about it."
No. Luke absolutely cannot deal with attractive, kind boys like Ashton calling him cute. He cannot cope with pretty people complimenting him. His brain is going to go into overload and he is going to implode.
"Thanks," he stutters out, fairly sure that his entire face is red. His life is a sham. "I play guitar. And I sing, a bit, I mean. Yeah. I sing. And play the guitar."
"Cool," Ashton says. "What kind of music d'you play?"
"Just, like. Our main influences are Blink-182, Green Day - bands like that, you know? Though I'm pretty sure if Michael had his way we'd just be an All Time Low tribute band."
"That's never a bad thing to be. They're a good band. They're all good bands," Ashton grins. "You've got good taste, Luke."
"Well so do you, if you think so," Luke says. Music. The topic of conversation is music, and yeah, Luke can deal with that. Luke knows music. "Do you - do you have any, I don't know, like, are you into music?" he pauses. "Sorry, wow. I literally could not have phrased that any worse."
Sensing his nerves, Ashton reaches across and puts his hand on Luke's. "Luke, calm down," he says, lightly, reassuringly. "You're really skittish, y'know that?"
"Yeah," Luke says, fixing his eyes and all of his concentration on Ashton's hand covering his. "It's a bad habit?"
"It's okay, honestly, I think you're cute, just a bit nervous, yeah?"
"Yeah," Luke coughs. "Just a little bit."
"And to answer your question, yeah, I play the drums," he shrugs. "I was in a band for a little while, but it didn't work out. Different music tastes, you know?"
"I know," Luke nods. "We don't have a drummer. Maybe you could - I don't know, you could come and like, play some songs with us some time, if you want?"
"That'd be cool," Ashton brings his hand back across the table. "I'd like that, I think. It'd be nice to play with other people again."
"I'd like to hear you play," Luke says.
"Yeah?"
Luke nods.
"Well, sure," he says, "but only if I get to hear you sing."
"It's a deal."
::
The problem is, Ashton is really, really nice.
Like. Luke would very much like to see him again and maybe see where this goes, because he's the type of boy who'd like, fawn over a litter of kittens or hold doors open for people when he's already running late and help old ladies across the street, probably. Luke doesn't know for sure, but he's pretty certain that that's the kind of boy Ashton is.
And Luke's been skittish all afternoon, he's been nervous and edgy, but Ashton hasn't become irritated or annoyed or rolled his eyes, he's been patient, gently pulling Luke into conversation and making him feel comfortable.
They've got things in common, too; an undying appreciation for Alex Gaskarth and a probably semi-stupid dream of playing music to the world, most importantly. And that's always good, right, like, it's always good to start somewhere.
But it's getting late, and they've spent all afternoon together, having continued their date even past leaving the coffee shop. They browsed through albums at the music shop and then drooling over instruments in the back area and then they'd just spent a while sat out in the sun near the park, just the two of them secluded from big crowds because Ashton seemed to sense that it made Luke uncomfortable. And that's - he's considerate, Ashton is, and Luke likes that.
It's just, it's late, and Luke should be getting home soon and he really kind of needs to tell Ashton the truth about this entire situation, because he's fairly sure that 'liar' isn't in anybody's list of turn-ons, and he feels guilty enough.
They're still sat outside, and the sun is starting to set now, so that everything is shrouded in dusty pinks and hazy golden reds, and it's all very pretty and nice and Luke wonders how it's happened that today has ended up being sort of a bit perfect completely accidentally. This is not the kind of thing that happens to boys like him, except apparently it is.
"Next Friday night there's a couple of local bands playing not too far from here," Ashton is saying. "I was, um, wondering if you wanted to come? I don't know how good they'll be, but it's music, right? And. I'd really like to see you again? And that sounded really stupid, but like. Yeah."
"I'd really like that," Luke says, smiling nervously and sub-consciously pulling a bit at his lip ring before he takes a deep breath. "The thing is, Ashton, there's a - there's something I didn't tell you? That I should have?"
Ashton blinks. "You're not a murderer, are you?"
Luke gapes at him. "Uh, nope?"
"Right, okay, well. That's good," he grins, and Luke wonders how it's possible to come to like someone this much after only spending a few hours in their company. "What is it?"
"I'm, um, well, the thing is-"
"Spit it out, Lucas," Ashton teases.
"Okay. Well that's the issue, really. I'm... not Lucas?"
Ashton stares at him. "What?"
"I'm not Lucas," Luke says. "I can explain?"
"Yeah, you probably should? I'm a bit confused."
"Right. Okay. Well, you may have noticed by now that I'm not the, um, most socially confident kind of person?"
"Yeah, I did notice that, a bit."
"And like. I'm kind of terrible at human interaction, basically. Like. It's a genuine problem. I'm so awkward and nervous and... yeah. My name is Lucas, but no one calls me that, and earlier I was waiting for my friend, Michael? You know, the band one, but he was late, and I heard someone calling my name and then I was like, hey, okay, that could be me. And then I realised that it wasn't, but you evidently thought I was your Lucas, and I really didn't know what to say so I just... rolled with it?"
"You just rolled with it," Ashton repeats.
"Um. Yeah. I didn't know what to say so I just didn't say anything," he sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."
"No, no," Ashton says. "You're not. You just... panicked. And I just assumed, 'cause Niall said that this guy was good for me and he was, y'know, called Lucas and blonde and tall and... I just assumed it was you."
"It's fine," Luke says. "Like, that's a natural assumption. I'm just sorry for playing you like an idiot. I don't know. I mean. You thought you were gonna meet this perfect guy for you and I kind of ruined that, so, like... I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Ashton laughs a little. "S' just a misunderstanding. You weren't trying to be a dick. S' just your personality, and it's okay, and it worked out, didn't it, I mean, I met you, and I really kind of like you, so."
"Yeah, but aren't you gonna go and meet the real Lucas now?" Luke asks. "The one you were meant to meet."
Ashton shrugs. "Nah, screw him. I'm sure he's a lovely guy and all, but... I think I'd rather just keep seeing you. If you're cool with that, anyway. I meant what I said, I'd really like to see you again."
"Really? You're serious?"
"Yeah, Luke," Ashton says. "Obviously I don't know you too well yet, but - you're really cute, and you're nice and you're funny, and from what I've seen of you so far, I really think I like you."
Luke's blushing from the tips of his ears down to his toes when he says, "yeah? Well, I, um, I think I like you too."
Ashton hesitates. "I know it's a bit forward, and like, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but you're really cute, yeah, and I've kind of been wanting to for a few hours now, and would it be okay if I-"
Luke rolls his eyes, grinning from ear to ear as with a burst of confidence he says, "just shut up and kiss me, you idiot."
And so Ashton does.