The trees' branches softly danced in the light breeze. Brown and crumpled leaves crunched under Steve and Dustin's feet as they walked up the abandoned railroad tracks, dropping small cubes of raw meat down for Dustin's little monster friend. A little while before, Dustin had told Steve that he hadn't been telling the full story, and he had actually picked up the frog sized creature to try and get some girl to like him back. To which Steve responded with, "I thought you were the smart one."
The walk was mostly silent, aside from the sound of the chum hitting the ground with a splat and the sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind.
"Alright so, let me get this straight," Steve threw some more meat on the ground. "You kept something you knew was probably dangerous, in order to impress a girl who… you just met?"
"Alright, that's grossly oversimplifying things." Dustin denied.
"I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug, anyway?" Steve asked from behind.
"An interdimensional slug?" Dustin questioned. "Because that's awesome." He chuckled with his half-toothless smile.
"Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn't, I-- I just--" Steve stuttered as he tried to find a reason. "I don't know, I just feel like you're trying way too hard." He quickly said.
"Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, all right?" Dustin mumbled.
"It's not about the hair, man." Replied Steve. "The key with girls is just-- just acting like you don't care."
Dustin's head perked up like an intrigued puppy. Was this it? Was the talk that would get him what he wanted? Was this the way to get Max to like him back? "Even if you do?" He asked, hope bleeding through his voice.
"Yeah, exactly," Steve nodded. "It drives them nuts."
"Then what?" Dustin swiftly asked.
"Then you just wait, until, uh…" He trailed off, throwing more meat behind and thinking of what to say next. "Until you feel it."
"Feel what?"
"It's like before it's gonna storm, y'know?" Steve began to explain in a way the small child would understand. "You can't see it, but you can feel it, this, uh, this-- electricity, you know?"
"Oh, like in the electromagnetic field when the clouds in the atmosphere--"
"No, no, no, no, no." Steve cut him off. He should have known Dustin would have gone into his nerdy explanations. "Like a sexual electricity."
"Oh," Dustin nodded, now sounding a little bit uncomfortable.
"You feel that," Steve pointed to Dustin. "And then you make your move."
"So that's when you kiss her?" Dustin grinned.
Steve winced. Jesus, this kid was desperate. "No! Woah, woah!" He exclaimed. "Slow down, Romeo!"
"Sorry." Dustin quickly put his head down in embarrassment.
"Sure, okay yeah, some girls, they want you to be aggressive." Said Steve. "You know; strong, hot and heavy, like a-- I don't know, like a lion." He shrugged.
Dustin said nothing and nodded as he listened to Steve's advice.
"But others, you gotta be slow. You gotta be stealthy, like a ninja."
"What type is Nancy?" Dustin wondered.
"Nancy's different. She's different from the other girls." A soft smile made its way onto Steve's face.
"Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess." Dustin shrugged.
And Steve agreed that she was. Their conversation went on with Dustin explaining that this girl was also special, that there was just something about her that made her stand out. Steve then interrupted and ruined the moment by asking if he was in love with the girl. Embarrassed, Dustin quickly denied it. Steve went on to explain that Dustin would get his heart broken, and that he was "way too young for that shit".
Once that was said, Steve's mood changed, and Dustin could tell. He now seemed upset and somewhat angry. He now forcefully chucked the meat at the ground.
For a moment, Dustin's perfect hair comment played in his mind. He took a quick glance at the boy who was looking down on the ground while dropping the bait.
Suddenly, Steve began to speak again. "Fabregé." He said, sounding embarrassed.
"What?"
Steve pointed to his shiny head of hair. "It's Fabregé Organics." He spoke. "Use the shampoo and the conditioner, and when your hair's damp, it's not wet okay? When it's damp..."
Steve stopped speaking for a moment. He didn't want to reveal the next step of his hair routine. He knew what was coming next: a shit ton of jokes and laughter.
Finally, he revealed his confidential secret:
"You do four puffs of the Farah Fawcett spray."
"Farah Fawcett spray?" Dustin echoed, trying his hardest not to burst out in a fit of laughter.
One of the most popular people in Hawkins, Indiana; the king himself… uses Farah Fawcett spray. There's a new thing to pull up in an argument.
"Yeah, Farah Fawcett. You told anyone I just told you that, and your ass is grass, you're dead Henderson. Do you understand?" He pointed to Dustin with his yellow latex glove with a chunk of meat dangling from his fingertips. His face was a shade of bright red, though he tried his absolute hardest to hide his humiliation.
Dustin nodded, still trying to contain his laughter. "Yup."
Steve just sighed and nodded, not trusting the boy much. He wouldn't be surprised if Dustin ratted him out. He also wouldn't be too surprised if he had to kill the kid. Not actually, however. But, he was pretty good at threats. He continued to walk and internally scolded himself for telling this random child that suddenly pulled him into this.
And that's all Dustin brought up during the rest of the walk.
-----
"Could you imagine in Nancy found out you use Farrah Fawcett?" Dustin giggled.
"Hey, could you imagine if I used you for bait instead?" Steve snapped.
Dustin stopped in his tracks for a moment. When Steve said: "your ass is grass you're dead", he was kidding, right?
"I wasn't-- I'm not-- it's not like-- I'm not saying I'm gonna tell her!" He stammered.
Steve scoffed at the boy's sudden panic.
"I'm just saying if somehow she found out, it would be funny as shit."
"Funny?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "What, when she tells her asshat of a brother and he tells the rest of you and your stupid club, it's gonna be funny?"
"If you put it that way, yeah."
Steve looked at Dustin in disbelief. "Christ, I've known you for half a day and you're already an asshole."
"I'm an asshole?" Dustin resented. "You threatened to kill me! Twice!"
"Yeah, I threatened you. I didn't try to." Steve made a point.
"That's still messed up!"
"You know what else is messed up?"
Dustin rolled his eyes and sighed, knowing what was coming next.
"Adopting something that was clearly a threat and showing it to everyone."
Yup.
There it was.
"I thought it was some type of toad! Like a new species or something!" Dustin argued.
"Well guess what, Dustin, it wasn't a toad!"
"I know that now!" Dustin chucked more meat on the ground.
The boys kept quarlling about Dustin's mistaken toad incident for a good five minutes before they met the exit of the woods, and the entrance of the junkyard.