She's saying something about a secret tunnel. I can't hear her over my heart beat. I can't hear her above the ticking in my ears, above the timer ticking down. I can't hear her over my heartbeat going faster by the second. I can't hear her over the voices, over the screams in my mind telling me to just do it.
"Cleo..I'm very sorry for this."
I slash her a few times with my axe before she reacts.
"You- You ABSOLUTE- NO- No, you are not doing this!"
The haze clouds my vision. I can't control it. It takes over my mind, my voice, my hands, and I just keep running after her.
"Cleo! Cleo!"
"NO!"
"CLEO! CLEO!"
My axe swings directly into her skull. The blood splashes across my face, as her items scatter across the ground. The ping of a death message comes on my communicator as the death is announced in chat. It feels good. The curse is finally gone, I don't have to worry about the constant bloodlust, those horrid feelings anymore.
But I feel terrible. I just killed Cleo, killed the first person I made an alliance with - I've broken everything.
"I-I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry..." The strain is unmistakable in my voice, and my vision clouds again, this time with tears.
"BigB! BigB, what happened?! What did you do?!"
"I- I killed her- I feel terrible-"
I didn't just kill her. I betrayed her.
I betrayed the person who took me in. The person who let me into her alliance. Into her home, with her items.
I can hear her voice in my head.
Traitor.
I just killed my best friend.
~~~
I wake up in a cold sweat. The feeling of arrows all over me hasn't left, just yet. Is this the afterlife? I heard of an afterlife last time. I was there. Am I back there now?
I hear pinging noises. I pull out my communicator, fumbling with it a bit as I look at the messages.
<DanTDM> Ayyyy, BigB's back!
<ThnxCya> bro we haven't seen you since you joined the server haha, welcome back!
<Thinknoodles> Dude, what took you so long?!
<iBalliisticSquid> BIGBBBBB
Well, this surely isn't the afterlife. This isn't even Last Life.
I think back to before this whole thing. Before I fell asleep and suddenly woke up in a completely different world. What was I doing? Where was I?
Oh, right, this is Shady Oaks. The server I joined for fun, before being snatched away.
I decide to respond to them.
<iHasCupquake> Welcome back, BigB :D
<BigBStatz> hey everyone!
<BigBStatz> sorry for the months of absence, i've been busy
They don't need to know. They don't need to know what I've done.
Their next lines confuse me.
<Thinknoodles> Months? It's only been a few weeks
<DanTDM> Yeah...
<BigBStatz> oh. uhm. whoops?
<Thinknoodles> That ain't normal. Do you want to meet at spawn?
<BigBStatz> let's.
I sigh, pick up my things and head over to the spawn they're referring to. I can find it by myself, probably, it can't be too far.
It isn't, thankfully, and upon following a path of cobblestone, I make it to the plaza, with the decorated retirement home to the right. I remember this place now. I remember coming here, I remember being mildly concerned as I toured around. It feels so long ago now.
Upon getting there, I see Dan sitting by the fountain, waiting for me. Once he sees me, he waves and runs up to me.
"There you are, BigB! How are you?"
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine. Just uh..disappeared for a few months. Or weeks. I'm not sure." I fumble out.
"Sounds like you lost track of time." I really did. "Hey, uh...you look pretty. Off. What's the matter?"
"Off? What are you referring to?" I ask.
"You look...I dunno, you look like you've just come out of a dumpster fire."
I have.
"Ah, whoops. I don't know."
"Uhm..okay." Dan still seems quite concerned. But I can't tell them what I've done. They'd hate me.
"Yeah, well what did I-"
I'm interrupted by the sounds of skidding and then a loud slam into concrete. Dan and I whip around to see what appears to be a person with a long phantom's tail, large wings and long grey hair -
"Wait a minute, is that Justin?!" I let out unintentionally.
"Yep, that's me!" Justin groans, standing up and pushing his hair back. I look at him up and down. I swear he was human the last time I saw him, why's he a phantom all of a sudden? He looks me up and down. "BigB...jesus, you're in a state."
"I know, right!" Dan nudges me slightly. "You definitely look like you've been on a wild, wild ride."
"Yo, sup, BigB!" Another voice. I turn to see Squid walking up to me, waving. "You...look tired."
"Yeah, I am." I nod, and shake it off. "Nice to see you all again."
"Nice to see you too, BigB! So, what have you been doing over the past few weeks?" Squid asks. I pause, and then quickly come up with a hasty lie.
"Oh, uh- nothing. Just building in a private world."
"Really, now?" Dan asks. "What was all that about months, hm? It's only been a few weeks since we saw you."
"Uhm..." I sigh. Has it really only been a few weeks?
"I can explain that one." Justin interrupts. Dan beckons him over to join the huddle around me, but Justin simply shakes his head. "Time can pass differently on different servers. It might've only been a few weeks for us, but it could've been months for BigB."
"...That's probably right." I nod, thanking him internally. Saved me from that one.
"That doesn't explain why you look like a hot mess, though." Dammit.
"Ah, I suppose I'm just...tired? I'm not sure."
"Are you sure?" Justin sounds awfully accusatory, and I step back in fear. "Is it because, perhaps, you haven't slept?"
"Justin, restrain yourself." Dan warns. Justin takes a few deep breaths, before looking directly at me.
"Sorry, BigB. So, a solo world, yeah?"
"Yeah, haha! Just a solo world." I say, then I decide that I might as well ask what's been on my mind. "Justin, how long have you been a phantom hybrid? I'm almost certain when I met you you were human."
"Oh, right. To put it simply-"
Squid interrupts him.
"Oh, he's always been one. He only revealed it recently, though."
That makes sense. Though, I'm not sure Squid's telling the truth, due to the confused glare Justin gives him.
"Alright. Uhm...since I'm back, I'm gonna go get some resources, and work on my base. You know, the things I've missed."
"Oh, good luck with that, BigB! Yeah, you have some catching up to do." Dan twirls an enchanted diamond pickaxe in his hand.
"Damn, Dan, no need to flex!" Squid laughs.
I awkwardly back away, not wanting to interfere. As I leave to my base, I notice Justin shooting me a concerned glance, pulling out his communicator, and typing in something I cannot see.
~~~
I get back to my base, and plan out. After all, I gotta do something now that I'm back here. Am I permanently back in Shady Oaks? Will I just wake up in another Last Life again? Will I return back to the server as a ghost? So many questions and not enough answers. I'd ask the server admin (I think the admin's Justin) but I still don't want to reveal what I've done, and where I've been.
As much as I like these guys...the first day I met them, they scared me, and I don't think I can trust them yet.
...Was it trusting too quickly, on both me and everyone else's - Lizzie, Cleo, Ren- on all our parts, that led us to our downfall?
Oh well, it's not for me to worry about yet, although it won't leave my mind.
"Right, BigB. What do you have to do?" I ask myself, to get myself back on track. Collect resources, expand your base, get diamonds and expand your resources...I can do this. I can do this.
I walk away to get to a cave and some wood. I need to just get straight in and start.
I'm not sure what it is about the darkness of the cave, but it calms me down slightly. That is...the opposite of what it should be doing. It concerns me slightly, but I push on, placing down torches despite the fact it's for some reason annoying me. I can't see in the dark, so I have to keep placing them, though!
It's getting on my nerves.
I sigh and move on, mining some iron when I catch a reflection of myself in the water.
And that's when I notice it.
My eyes...they've got a red tint to them, as if the colour is pooling at the bottom of my pupils. I step back from it and do a double take. No, I am seeing that right. What the hell, what's going on with my eyes?!
My eyes- and the rest of me- were turning red when I was in Last Life, when I became a red life. And they're red right now.
..Oh. Oh god. Is it still affecting me? It can't be, I got rid of it, didn't I? When I died? Am I still registered as a red name? I know the reds get red eyes too-
It must be a trick of the light.
While I'm panicking, I hear a zombie groan from behind me. I whip around, and there's a hiss too.
"AA-"
I slice the zombie in two, so it leaves me alone, and start hunting for the spider. But seemingly no spider around. If there's no spider, then what was doing the hissing?
I shake it off and continue mining. I'll run into the spider later, I'm sure.
~~~
I got out of the cave and moved on to building my house.
I'm just expanding the little hut, making it so it's wood and not dirt, putting up light fixtures and the like, despite the fact it's hurting my eyes. I don't care, I just keep building.
It's at some point, while placing a torch high up on the wall, that I get stuck. Sounds crazy, I know, but I still end up just hanging on the wall, attached by my forearm. I jumped off the block to reach the ledge the torch would be, next thing I know I'm just dangling there, arm against the wall.
"Uhm...This can't be right."
It's probably just a glitch, I think, and I start to try and pull myself away, but as I push, my other hand gets stuck. I'm sprawled out on the wall like a bug. Haha, cause it's a glitch? Not funny, BigB, just get yourself down.
I sigh and start climbing off the wall and onto the floor. Once I get down, I look at the wall again. And I try again, and it seems to work. Okay, this isn't a glitch. Did someone coat my wall with honey while my back was turned?
What on earth is going on?
There's a pain in my chest and I look down. The scar from the curse is still there. With how late I left it, it looks like it is never going to heal.
~~~
I can't sleep. My brain is still whirring with the sounds of their screams, the sounds of the curse, the sounds of it all. When I try I'm destined for nightmares and flashbacks. Covering my ears doesn't help. Every time I hear a noise I'm on edge. I worry that if I sleep I'm just going to wake up in hellfire again.
Guess I'm the monster that prevents me from resting tonight.
I get up with a sword for defence and start walking around to get my mind off things. Maybe if I make myself tired, I can fall asleep with no issues.
So, I start to walk around aimlessly. Just get outside into the fresh air and take my mind off things, see? It's really cold at night, the only lighting in the area being the buildings. They should light up this place more, what if mobs spawn?
But as I'm walking, I wander into a forest, and hear two familiar voices talking.
"Wait, Squid lied to him?"
"Yeah, just interrupted me for no reason. I don't know why, it's not as if the truth will hurt."
That's Cupquake and Think. What are they talking about? I decide to stop by and listen in.
"I mean, he did disappear almost immediately after joining. He's probably just going to disappear again tonight." Wait a minute, they're talking about me!
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter if he's here for good or not. He still should know about all this."
I catch a look at the two. When since was Cupquake a parrot? And I knew Justin was a phantom, but I'm starting to doubt what Squid told me. It seems like I should've.
"You make a point..but you said you thought he was stressed, didn't you?"
"Shows all the signs. Especially with the fact he lied about where he came from."
Wait, how'd he know that I lied?! He's an admin, sure, but still.
"Again, if he's only about to leave, then it won't affect him, will it?" Tiff repeats.
"You know Kindness, Tiff. She's ruthless. You did absolutely nothing to her, and yet she still decided to curse you too."
"That's true, but I interfered with her plans. I bet she doesn't even know who BigB is."
"She doesn't care, she hates the whole server I'm pretty sure."
"What could she do to him anyway? She barely knows the guy."
"I bet you that he-"
Suddenly, Justin stops in the middle of his sentence, face showing he's concentrating on something. Tiff watches confusedly, and so do I. Is he going to continue? He looks incredibly jittery.
After a while of listening, he turns to exactly where I'm hiding.
"BigB, I know you're there."
I immediately start to fumble, and come up with something on the spot.
"Uh...my name's not BigB, it's Terry." I deepen my voice and put on an accent. "BigB left ages ago." That should work, right?
Wrong, because Justin just grabs my shoulder and pulls me out from behind the tree. He looks pissed. Though, Tiff lets out a chuckle in the back.
"BigB, don't fool with me, alright? I'm annoyed as it is." He pushes me back, and I stagger.
"Oh, oh, alright! Wait, why are you mad at me?" I start backing away slowly.
"I'm not mad, but we need to talk." He doesn't move, but that's likely because Tiff has a hold of his arm. "But first. Don't listen in on other people's conversations, kay? You're lucky this one actually concerned you."
"Sorry, sorry. I had a feeling it was to do with me and-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. So, let me explain. So, you know what Squid told you earlier? That I've always been a phantom hybrid?"
"Yeah..? You said that was a lie, though."
"It was. You see, in this server we have this cursed sword called Kindness. And she's sentient. She's been glowing certain colours, and whatever mob the colours correspond to, a select person turns into that mob." He explains, shocking me. A what.
It comes out without prompting.
"So..a curse she put on you?"
Justin raises an eyebrow.
"I never thought about it like that, but you're probably right. Maybe, I'm not sure." Justin looks like he's struggling to focus. I've seen curses before, I know this is one. But am I really going to be affected by two curses in one week? And will they both have drastic consequences?
"Oh, alright. How come you didn't tell me?"
"I dunno why Squid didn't tell you, it's not as if it's a massive secret. He's Kindness's biggest asset, though, so I reckon he just wants to believe she's still good. Or hide her flaws. He's weird, Squid is." Think shrugs, and Tiff quietly agrees, before turning to me.
"Has anything weird happened to you today?" She asks, and I think back. My eyes turning red, getting stuck to the walls..it's not that bad, I don't think. Just hallucinations and a glitch, and I can't explain the first...
"I got stuck to my house walls, that's it. Nothing else." I mumble. Justin raises an eyebrow.
"I'll check to see if Kindness is glowing. Now..I need to talk about some other things with you."
"Other things?"
"Look, BigB, I know you lied about being in a personal world. The World ID was a server ID, not a singleplayer ID." He explains, looking me up and down. Oh no no no, how am I going to explain this to him now?
"Uhm-"
"I'm not mad that you lied, but you obviously have a reason to lie about something so trivial. And I wanna know."
I fumble over my words again, defaulting into going silent. He just waits for a response, and so does Tiff, who looks like she really doesn't want to be here right now.
But then it stops. Justin appears to lose focus, and something appears to really tick him off. He covers his ears and lets out an inhuman screech. Tiff grabs his waist so he doesn't move, and I rush back, hoping nothing will happen. He wrestles a bit, is he trying to attack me?! Tiff holds him in place, and he takes a few deep breaths, before staring up at me.
"God, BigB - how long has it been since you last SLEPT?! Okay, I'll confront you about the server thing tomorrow, go the fuck to sleep!"
"Justin! Language!" Tiff nudges him lightly in the elbow.
I just continue backing away, hands in front of me for self defence. One look into Justin's eyes and a hiss from him - well, I get the hint.
I start to run.
I run right back through the forest and to my sloppy base, slamming the door behind me. I breathe against the door for a bit, making sure no one's behind me, and then I get into my bed.
I think I'll need that skill when I go back.
Man, how long has it been since I slept? No wonder Justin went hostile, I feel drowsy already, and he is a phantom after all.
I fall asleep, expecting more nightmares to come.
~~~
"Do me a favour, BigB." Cleo said, standing on top of the burning trees while me and Lizzie panicked, trying desperately to get out. We looked each other in the eyes, and all I could see was hatred.
"Die for me."