The following week was hard as I continued to try and move past what had happened. But, thankfully, by the dawn of a new weekend the heavy weight that had been sitting in the pit of my stomach since the hotel, had finally begun to ease, allowing me to manage to spend time with Ross without having to fight the urge to be sick from my guilt.
"I wish you didn't have to work tonight," He groaned, wrapping his arms around me and placing kisses along my shoulder.
"Me too," I said honestly.
As agreed with Crystal, I'd cut back to my old hours at the club, even less actually given the fact that I'd been skiving for most of them the last few days, but tonight I had to head back, it wasn't like there was any sense in burying my head in the sand indefinitely. To explain my presence at home more over the previous days, I'd told Ross what I hoped to be the last lie that I'd have to tell. That the acting jobs I'd landed had fallen through. He'd been sweeter than I'd deserved after I'd told him, coming home from his shift with a bag full of my favourite treats from the store, before making me dinner and then staying up late with me whilst I perused the auditions lists online, helping me pick out possible parts to try for.
"Still, you're not going to be here anyway," I pointed out, turning around and playfully poking him in the chest where his LAFD logo was stamped on his navy blue t-shirt.
He rolled his eyes and groaned.
"Yeah but it's nice to get moments like this where I can sneak home for a minute to see you between shouts."
There was a loud shout from outside, followed by the sound of the truck horn and he turned toward the window.
"Looks like the moment's over," I laughed.
"Sadly so," He sighed, quickly kissing my forehead and retreating to the door with quick steps. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Stay safe," I said firmly, "I love you."
"I love you too," He beamed.
Blowing me a kiss, he slipped out of the door and I heard him scurry down the hall. Crossing to the window, I peered through the glass to where the ladder truck sat parked up outside, seeing Tucker standing beside it. I returned his wave as he glanced up and watched Ross running out the front doors, crossing the lot and leaping aboard before they drove off, not turning away until they were completely out of sight.
The club was jam-packed all night, a large stag party taking up most of the VIP area, whilst a large birthday party occupied the majority of tables surrounding the main stage. The bar was so busy even Charlie was serving drinks. The other girls and I were rotating between stage and private performances round the clock, and barely managing to get a single moment to take a breather in between. I was hoping to secure five minutes of fresh air after leaving the main stage when I found my path blocked by a man I distantly recognised.
"Well hello again," He smiled brightly, his words slurring slightly as he spilt a splash of his beer down his front.
"Hey," I smiled, attempting to hide both my revulsion at his drunken state and my inability to recognise him.
"I've been waiting for you," He continued, "I wanted to get another dance with you," He leant in, his lips close to my ear as he whispered, "I had lots of fun last time."
It suddenly clicked how I knew him and I shuffled awkwardly as I recalled the night we'd met, the businessman I'd danced naked for after my awful audition. It made me cringe as I looked at him now and remembered just how far I'd taken our one on one dance. I instantly wished I could say no, tell him to find someone else. But even though he was slightly worse for wear, there was no due cause for him to be removed from the club, and turning him down for no valid reason would only cause issues and attention where there needn't be any.
"Of course," I agreed begrudgingly, keeping a professional smile on my face and gesturing for the stairs.
He smirked and waved me ahead of him, the way his eyes narrowed gleefully making it very clear that the move wasn't made out of gentlemanly manners, but of a desire to admire my backside as we headed upstairs.
When we made it into the booth, he gulped down what was left of his beer and tossed the bottle aside, throwing his weight down onto the small couch and leaning back, his beady eyes fixed on me as the music began.
You can do this. Just wind it in, keep it professional.
I began to dance in time with the music, making no effort to do more than move my body to the beat, my hands remaining firmly away from the ties of my underwear, keeping what little clothing I had fixed to my body. I could see him beginning to look confused, but when the time came to climb onto his lap, I was sure the close proximity would steer him into more satisfying waters.
"C'mon," He groaned, his hands reaching my hips and holding me firmly over his lap, his hips thrusting toward me, making it very clear that he was getting harder.
Pasting a smile on my face, I gently removed his hands, continuing to shimmy and grind on his lap. Barely five seconds passed before he repeated the movement, this time more forcefully as he attempted to tug my panties down, his wandering hand reaching between my legs.
"Hurry up and take it off," He growled.
"No," I said firmly, thrusting his hands away and leaping off of his lap.
"I want a dance like the last one," He moaned.
"I don't do that anymore," I said swiftly, trying to keep focused on the dance, wanting nothing more than to hear the music come to an end.
"Well, you should," He replied flirtatiously.
He was on his feet in a flash and I backed up automatically. He was too quick for me though and had successfully closed a large hand around my wrist before I could dodge him.
"Let go!" I snapped, tugging my arm away in vain, his grip only tightening with the one hand whilst the other began to hungrily grab at my body, reaching for the clasp of my bra before he swayed and the pair of us fell, landing hard on the sofa. "Get off me!" I shouted, my voice muffled as his weight pressed down on me.
"I just want a dance," He mumbled. "Wanna see that hot body of yours."
I could smell the liquor on his breath and it made me queasy. I persistently shoved against him trying to knock him off of me, before finally, having heard the scuffle, the security guard stormed into the booth and hauled him up.
"You're outta here, mate," Alistair, the newest of our security, growled viciously, practically lifting him off of the ground in a headlock.
"Put me down! I didn't do nothing fucking wrong," He shouted, kicking and thrashing against Alistair with little to no result. I sat up, tidied up my clothes and watched as he was dragged from the building, still screaming and shouting as he went.
After a moment to compose myself, I retreated to the locker room to have a drink, only being there for a few minutes before Alistair came in and announced that Charlie was waiting for me in his office. Sure that I was probably about to need a drink more than I had beforehand, I poured a double measure and took it with me as I headed upstairs to his office.
"Come in," Charlie called when I knocked on the door.
Stepping inside, I was relieved that the look that he gave me was one of kindness and concern, not of anger and disappointment.
"I heard what happened," He began, his brow furrowing "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I said quickly, not completely honestly.
"He's been banned, won't be back, so you don't have to worry about that," Charlie nodded, "Zero tolerance when it comes to such things, drunk or not."
I nodded, grateful that he was the way he was when it came to protecting the people who worked for him.
"Thanks," I smiled.
"I'm sorry that it got as far as it did..."
He trailed off as I gestured for him not to continue.
"It's okay, nothing happened, he just wanted it to. It doesn't matter now, I just need to get back to work," I said hastily.
"No way," Charlie replied firmly, "The only place you're going tonight, is home. That's been more than enough for one night."
"There's really no need," I began, "I can finish my shift."
"No, I'm not hearing it, you're going home, and I'm going to take you."
"No," I said quickly, only realising how rude it seemed as I watched Charlie's tender smile falter, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," I finished before sighing and running my fingers through my hair, searching for the right words to explain to him what I meant. "I appreciate the offer, really I do, but lately I've been making all the wrong decisions in my life, and I'm struggling to handle the aftermath of them. I don't want to make another wrong choice tonight, and I think that being alone with you, might end up being one."
He sighed, nodding understandably, only making it harder to have to be so firm about refusing his help. I felt bad as I saw him trying to mask his hurt behind a weakened smile, and found myself moving toward him, stopping before him and reaching out a hand, cupping his cheek.
"You're a great guy, Charlie, and that's why I don't trust myself to be alone with you, because I like you, a lot," His smile brightened a little and his hand rested atop mine as I slowly let it slide to his jaw, "But I love Ross, and I've done too much to hurt him already, I can't risk doing anything else to make it worse."
He immediately released my hand, his smile vanishing as he hung his head.
"I understand," He said softly.
He didn't meet my eye as he spoke, and I got the feeling he'd rather be alone. Taking my cue, I pecked him gently on the cheek and whispered in his ear:
"Thank you."
Then slipped out of the office, returning to the locker room to dress and get my stuff together, ready to leave.
Closing the door to the club behind me, I stepped out into the night, smiling to myself. It may only have been baby steps that I'd taken, but they were in the right direction. I began walking toward my car, my heels clicking on the pavement as I began to pull my keys from my purse, congratulating myself on sticking to the plan with the dancing, and laying out boundaries with Charlie. There was still a way ahead to go, but I began to feel like I could make it. Like I was going to be able to undo the damage I'd done already.
"You cock-teasing bitch!" A man's angered voice shouted in my ear as hands grabbed me roughly from behind and threw me face-first into the brick wall.
I groaned in pain as my forehead met the solid brick and a painful ache coursed through my head, a stinging sensation lingering across my forehead which suddenly felt damp.
Dazed and confused, I struggled to see straight. I felt my body being dragged one way then the other, taking blows as I was banged against the wall with each move, the back of my head colliding with the hard surface whilst the man's voice grew louder, his words indiscernible over the ringing in my ears and the rapid thumping of my panicked heart.
"P-please," I pleaded weakly, slumping forward, my legs buckling.
I dimly registered the shout of a woman's voice nearby, and then my attacker's hands were gone and I was falling, slamming into the ground hard. There were running footsteps... two sets, or was it three?... more hands, gentler this time, clutching my shoulders, turning me over. I tried to focus, but all I could see was blurry, coloured outlines against a black sky.
"Lena?"
"Selena! Can you hear me?"
The voices were too far away. My jaw felt heavy, too heavy to speak. My limbs were numb, and my body aching. My eyelids drooped, eyes rolling back. All I could make out was darkness... thick, impenetrable darkness.
"R-Ross," I mumbled.
I wasn't even sure if the word was uttered in my head or by speech, but it was all I cared about, the only person who I could think of. And as fear and uncertainty washed over me, Ross's face swam in my head, before it all went black on me.