"You could slap me if I can slap you back." I cheekily say and my fine laughs wholeheartedly as she tilts her head back a bit.
"Yeah, that's why I didn't slap you. You hit hard without any mercy." My friend shakes her head and we continue to walk out of the public library where my lost soul decided to sit its ass in.
"Mmm, so where are we going to celebrate christmas?" I shove my hands into my hoodie pocket as I let my friend wead her way and her long blonde hair was being carried by the wind. It was like I was looking at a painting made by a famous artist.
"Back at the dorm, unless you have a better place?" I shake my head as the dreadful takes over once more. Christmas was coming. My birthday will be here soon. I'll be another year older. Another year closer to the read world. I ball my hands as I could feel the building anxiety and I dug my nails deep into my palms.
Why can't these thoughts go away? I just want them to go away.
"We're here!" The girl clasps her arms around my right arm as she squeezes it tightly as her oblivion was obvious. I smile kindly at her.
"I got you a gift. I hope you like it." We enter her dorm room and I go over to her bed as I sit on it and she sits at her desk. "But, it's early. So, wait till christmas to open it, okay?" I watch her nod her head and my vision blurs for a moment before it goes back to normal and I smile tightly at her.
Hours had passed and I was exhausted. But, it didn't matter because I still had to get home. So, what a heavy sigh I dragged my feet to my house in the darkness of the night and I couldn't feel like more shit even if I tried.
Emptiness fills my head as I think of nothing particular and instead let the silence fill my head with the occasional conversations I had throughout my life, or the depressing thoughts I hold, or some song lyrics. Everything was so trivial and useless.
"Watch where you are going!" I collide shoulders with someone, but I don't care as I continue to walk ahead and I stop as the world feels like it is spinning around me and I look to the darkened sky as I see small flecks of white falling from the heavens above.
Snow. It was snowing and somehow it made me feel even worse about myself. I huff as I shake my head and I go back to walking as the chill of the night takes over my body leaving me shivering and chattering my teeth. I'm sure
Winter.