The hallways remained busy as both Olivia and I stumbled our way through them, the blood running from her nose and the dirty glances she gave me not ceasing to exist until we reached the daunting principal's office. Neither did the whispers and shocked gasps of students, mumbling amongst themselves at the sight of the two, very bruised and beaten teenage girls. The attention was uncomfortable, much like the sticky leather seats of the waiting room. The warmth of the room and the heat of my sweaty body making it extremely difficult for my thighs to sit in a comfortable position.
It was hellish to say the least, the pain in cheek and rest of my body forced me close to tears. And the utterly disappointed look on Mr Soot's face only made it more difficult.
I decided then and there that it was going to be a long fucking week.
And it was going to be an even longer day.
Olivia slumps herself down on the seat, cringing much like I do at the sticky leather. Mr Soot however paces the room, the frustration on his face seeping into the atmosphere like a drainpipe. It isn't until Olivia winces at the pain of her nose that he breaks out of his trance and speaks up.
"Ok, which one of you is going to explain what the fuck just happened? Because hell if I know why you guys of all people are fighting. I know for a fact you two have never spoken a word to each other."
We both remain silent. Olivia's silence stemmed from her pure annoyance, as for me, I remained quiet out of pure shame and guilt.
I beat someone up for fuck sake.
I broke her nose, for fuck sake.
The blood was my hands, as was the blame.
This fight was on me entirely, even considering the down-right disgusting things she had said about Tubbo. I hurt her terribly.
And god did I feel bad.
The lump in my throat prevents me from admitting it though. Or maybe it was my pride.
"Aright, no one is gonna speak up then hm? Ok, I'll go get Mr Blade for you both and he can sort you guys out."
We both sit up in our seats.
"It was her!" Olivia exclaims. "She started it!"
His shocked expression doesn't falter as he turns to me, asking for answers.
"And why was that?" He asks sternly.
"For no re-!"
"I wasn't asking you Olivia, I'm asking Isla. Why did you hit her?" I shrink in my seat.
"She called Tubbo a faggot, so I got up and slapped her." He sighs deeply.
"Ok, as terrible as that is, it's not your responsibility to defend Tubbo, Isla, and you certainly shouldn't have defended him by punching Olivia in the face." I nod solemnly, though really i wish I could get on my knees and beg for forgiveness.
But that's just down right embarrassing.
"Olivia, shame on you for saying such a disgusting thing. In no circumstance is that an okay thing to say about someone, anyone." She stares up at him in half ignorance and half shock.
"It wasn't even that bad." She tries to reason.
"Well the blood dripping from your nose suggests otherwise." Her hand flies to her nostril. Wilbur pinches his nose with a sigh and points to the door. "Go to the nurse." She gets up without any other question and runs down the hall.
Once Olivia leaves the room, Mr Soot turns to me. His stern look of annoyance shifting to one of pure sympathy. He calmly walks over to the seat next to me and sits down, turning towards me. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a packet of tissues, passing me one and gesturing towards my eyes.
I didn't even realise I was crying.
"You ok?" He asks softly. The question physically stuns me a bit.
In the moment it took a lot of courage, enough to scare away a wild beast. But the admission was certainly a sweet release.
"No..." I let out. A simple admission, one that will suffice for now. He sighs and wraps an arm around my shoulder.
"This isn't like you Isla. I've known you long enough to know that."
"Know what exactly?" I put my head back on his shoulder.
"That you won't hurt anyone, unless you are hurt yourself." His words stun me a bit. Just enough to question myself.
And question why he's always so fucking right.
"Now. Care to tell me what actually happened?" I smile.
"I beat a bitch up," I giggle out. He chuckles lightly as well.
"Yes, yes you did, and you did a bloody good job at it." I laugh.
"Are you meant to encourage this sort of thing?"
"No, but admittedly it was quite refreshing seeing Olivia cry." I start laughing out loud, not bothering to quieten myself down, even with the receptionists stern looks.
"You really are my favourite teacher. Did you know that?" He chuckles.
"I'd hope so." We fall into a silence for just a moment, before he squeezes my shoulder and asks the question I have been dreading answering.
"So what really happened. From the beginning."
I contemplate the question for a couple seconds, the words of admission rising in my throat and rolling on my tongue.
I could tell him right bow, admit to everything I did wrong, tell him every detail of those painful nights and finally receive some of the comfort I so desperately need.
"I-I'm not ready to say just yet." He turns to face away from me, looking out the window of the waiting room.
"And that is completely okay. Just know that I am completely ready to listen when and if you are." I smile to myself, joining him in looking out the window.
We sit in silence for a couple minutes, engulfing eachother in the warmth of our bodies and listening intently to the soft hum of the fan.
"You're my favourite student." He remarks, breaking the comfortable silence. " Did you know that?" I giggle to myself.
"I'd hope so." He squeezes my shoulder with his hand.
And for a moment, I think things would be ok.
Olivia bursts back through the door.
Maybe not.
"Mr Blade will see you guys now." The receptionist lady states before sitting back down in her seat. I let out a shaky breath. Olivia saunters in the door without much consideration. I get up to join her, my mind splitting in two at the sight of the daunting office door. One half of me wishing for a weak punishment, and the other half wishing for it to be over already.
Either half was scared.
And either half hated themselves.
It was a lose lose regardless.
I stand up, trembling. Mr Soot notices my nerves and places a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Ok, here's the plan." He states, turning me to face him and placing both hands on my shoulders. "You're going to walk in there with your head held high, and you're going to take whatever punishment that comes to you like a fucking champ. Okay?" I take a deep breath and shakily nod my head.
"What happens afterward?" I ask, looking up at him with a shaky smile.
"Only time will tell." He smiles back. I nod and turn, walking my way into the principals office with a new set determination.
I was going to be ok.
---
Mr Blade was by far the most intimidating man I've ever met. Though the man had pastel pink hair and a mini crown pin attached to his rainbow tie, he towered over everyone with an all-mighty power, power that could make even the strongest of men quiver.
Which is why when he let me off with a day suspension, a promised apology to Olivia and a strawberry lollipop. I was more than stunned.
"We couldn't get in contact with your parents. Are you able to call them to come and pick you up?" He asks in his signature monotonous tone. I feel the words lump in my throat, scared to even mutter a word to the man.
"U-uhm, no. They T-they're away for the month." He looks at me quizzically.
"Who are you staying with then?" I freeze.
"U-uhm, n-no one. I'm by myself." He looks at me confused before giving a small nod.
"Right... Well is there anyone we can call to come pick you up?" I think the question over for a couple of seconds. My mind immediately rushes to Tubbo. But that obviously isn't a plausible answer. My extended family is, well... extended, so that's not an option either. In all honesty I was expecting for me to get the punishment and walk home, but apparently that isn't plausible either.
So with my lack of options combined with my lack of courage, I let out a simple "No."
He nods his head solemnly. "How are you getting home then?" He asks.
"I usually just skate or catch the bus." He sighs.
"Well that won't do. It's my responsibility as the principal to make sure my students get home safe, and given the situation and Miss Prescott's friend group. I wouldn't suggest walking home by yourself." He explains gesturing at Olivia. I cock a brow at the suggestion.
"What do you mean by that?" I ask, with great difficulty.
"It means I'll tell my friends to pull up." She practically purrs, checking her nails as if acting like I didn't just pummel her face inwards. I laugh quietly to myself. Not quiet enough apparently.
"What are you laughing at bitc-"
"I'll take her home." Mr Soot interrupts, thankfully cutting Olivia's pathetic sentence short.
"Is that ok with you, Miss Harlow?" Mr Blade asks. I nod my head.
"Very well then. I expect both of you already know your punishments, but i'll go over them once more for good measure," Out of the corner of my eye I see Olivia roll her eyes. "Both fo you will be given a one day suspension and lunch time detention for a week. I hope that both of you understand the consequences of your actions on learn to grow form them."
"Yes Mr Blade." We say in unison, both already standing up and grabbing our things.
"Right, you are dismissed." I sigh, lugging my backpack over my sore shoulder and walking out of the principals office. Mr Soot follows close behind.
"Court adjourned," I mumble walking down the now quiet hallway with Mr Soot. All of the classes now in session and busy.
"Come on, it wasn't all that bad." He sympathises, gesturing for him to carry my bag for me. I gladly hand it over.
"I'm suspended for a day Will. That isn't good." He chuckles.
"It's better than expulsion." I look at him terrified.
"Was that an option?!" He shrugs his shoulders.
"Fuck."
"Well you beat someone up Isla, what did you expect?"
"I didn't think it would be that bad! I'm not that bad of a student am I?" He chuckles.
"No, no you aren't. But you and Tubbo together can be fucking dreadful." My smile slightly drops at the mention of his name.
"Yeah, true." He smiles as we step out the doors of the school, walking over to the staff carpark.
"Which one's yours?" I ask, he points to a small and worn down silver car parked in the corner of the parking lot. "Charming."
"Yeah and what car do you have then huh?" I present him my skateboard with a smug look on my face. He rolls his eyes and unlocks his car, opening the passenger door for me. I do a little curtsy as he does so. He simply ignores me and walks around the other side of the car.
"Can you actually do any tricks on that thing," He asks, grabbing my board of me and chucking it in the back seat, along with my bag.
"No, I can't be fucked learning any." He scoffs.
"How very Isla of you."
"Oh, shut up."
He passes me the aux cord, encouraging me to play any song I desire, I quickly take the opportunity to play Drifting by Good Kid.
"So, where we heading" He asks, I sigh and lean back in my seat.
"Anywhere except home." He sighs and starts the car, reversing out of the school and heading off down the highway.
"That bad huh?" I sigh.
"Well, no, I just don't want to have to deal with my depression room." He chuckles.
"You been writing in that journal at all?" My eyes light up.
"Yeah! Only a couple of things, just random song lyrics and the like." I reach back behind the seat and reach for my bag, pulling out my journal form the front pocket. We pull up at a red light, he takes the quick chance to take a look. I flip aimlessly through the pages, looking over whatever I had written amongst the pages. His finger stops me from flipping to the next page. stopping at a long passage of text.
"What's that?" He asks, his attention now back on the road as he starts driving once again.
"Oh, a song I was working on. it's kind of shit to be honest."
"Nonsense, I'm sure it's good." I shrug my shoulders. We pull up to an intersection.
"Want to find out?" He asks, I look at him quizzically.
"Huh?"
"Do you want to find out? Find out if it's good or not?" I contemplate what he means for a second, before deciding to not overthink things and just go with it. I smile up at him and nod my head.
"Aye aye captain." He says with a grin.
He turns left.
---
"Well this place is fucking cool." I state, stepping out of his run down car and onto the streets of Brighton, the street directly in front of the recording studio.
To say it was cool was terribly underwhelming.
Even stepping into the place felt like a fever dream, records lined the walls as decor along with beautiful artworks. A rich carpet covered the floors as you walk into the the studio itself which was an even cooler sight. My eyes light up immediately.
Instruments of all kinds scattered the room, the same carpet leading in, connecting to a group of pillows on the floor and comfortable seating all around the room. Entering the next room a set of intimidating buttons lay set up on a desk, in front of the set of buttons, through a window was a recording booth. An actual one, not just my bedroom floor.
This whole place felt surreal. Beyond surreal actually.
It felt like home.
"Take a seat kiddo and let's get to work," Wilbur says, chucking his phone, wallet and keys on the desk and slumping himself down on the couch. I remain standing marvelling at the studio.
"Earth to Isla," He says, attempting to get my attention. "Isla!"
"W-what?" I ask, snapping out of my trance.
"Welcome back to earth commander. Take a seat and let's get to work." I slump down on a couch opposing him, settling back into the comfy cushion with ease.
"Pass me that journal," he says. I throw the journal in my hands across the room. He catches it with ease and flips it open, finding the page with the lyrics on it.
He spends the next couple of minutes flipping through reading over the lyrics a couple times, nodding his bead at certain phrases. All while I sit nervously on the opposing couch, anxiously waiting for him to finish.
"And you've never written a song before?" he asks in disbelief. I shake my head.
"I wrote one for my dad when I was like 13. My voice was incredibly scratchy and my ukulele had three missing strings." He nods his head.
"That's the one on the mixtape right?" I nod my head. "Well you've definitely improved from then. This is really good." I smile wide.
"I wrote it on call with this guy I liked like a month ago. It was after I failed a science test and my teacher said he expected it from a person like me." Wilbur frowns.
"Mr Caufield right?" I give a simple nod. He shakes his head. "He's a dick."
"Is it legal for teachers to talk shit about other teachers?" I ask with a laugh.
"No, but we aren't in school right now so that doesn't matter." I laugh.
He gets up and walks over to the wheely chair next to the desk and spins on it, now facing the desk.
"Alright, let's do this."
"Alright!" I exclaim, now excited. He starts pushing random buttons and doing rather intimidating things with his laptop. I stand next to him, looking over his shoulder.
"...What exactly am I doing?" I ask, he shoos me away.
"Work on the lyrics." I nod my head enthusiastically, collapsing back down on the couch with a pen and paper in hand.
This was going to be fun.
---
Will and I spent about an hour working on the song. Screwing around with different guitar chords and beats, the instruments now laying doormant on the couch, messing around different rhythms of the lyrics and different variations of the lyrics themselves. It was fun, beyond fun actually.
It's everything I've ever wanted to do.
"You got a song name yet?" Will asks from at his desk, his eyes not faltering from the screen.
"Uhhh, yeah, I was thinking Bugbear." He takes off his headphones and turns around.
"What?"
"Bugbear. It means a cause of obsessive fear, anxiety or irritation, according to google. It's also what my dad used to call me when I was little." He nods his head.
"Interesting. How about the lyrics? How are they coming along?" He scoots his wheely chair forward.
"I'm pretty much done." I say with confidence. He nods his head and holds his hands out, gesturing for me to pass him the journal, I pass it to him without issue. He takes the time to read through them. A smile forms on his face.
"Your voice warmed up at all?" He asks, a smirk on his lips.
"Warmed up enough." I compromise, he chucks a pair of headphones at me and gestures to the recording studio door.
"Get in there and let's do this." I jump up out of my seat and dash to the studio door. He chuckles at my enthusiasm. He chucks me the journal before I make it to the door and I struggle to catch it. He laughs even more.
I step into the red studio, a smile latching onto my face the moment I do. It felt surreal, being in a place as cool as this. I remind myself to thank Wilbur profusely the next chance I get.
He hooks up my headphones to his own as I turn on the mic, doing a couple tests to make sure everything is in check, once it is, he gives me a thumbs up.
"Ok, let's do the first verse." He explains, his voice ringing through my headphones.
Within seconds, the melodic tune of the bass travels through the headphones as I ready myself to sing. I clear my throat and take a deep breath before letting go.
This'll be fun.
"Being in this space has made me feel, a bit more small and
I'm not quite sure where I'm going next."
I can see Wilbur smile through the window.
"I'll try to use a map but,
with directions I tend to be bad so I'll use a GPS and pray for the best."
The drums kick in.
"I've got so many years to flesh this out and be who I wanna be,
but it's confusing to say the least."
I clench my hand together to calm my nerves.
"No perception of time or space or distance or weight and I think I'm going insane,
doomed to graduate and remain a beast."
Wilbur gives me a slight nod, encouraging me to move into the chorus.
"And o-oh I just want you to know."
As the chorus starts to come up I start to feel more confident in myself
"I feel so braindead next to you
It's not like you intended to
hurt me or make me feel that way,"
I exclaim the lyrics with my full chest, the adrenaline rush of singing finally kicking in.
"And I'm not trying to complain,
but it just sucks to try and explain,
why I feel like this everyday!"
The beat kicks in and immediately I start bopping my head, careful as to not thrash the headphones off of my head. Wilbur stops the track and talks into his end of the mic.
"That was fucking awesome!" He exclaims with excitement. I fizz in place.
"I feel fucking awesome!!" I yell. He shines his big, bright smile. He gestures for me to step out the studio and I do so eagerly, hanging my headphones on the mic and practically skipping out of the door.
"Wanna listen?" he asks, chucking me the headphones.
"Do I wanna listen, he asks. Of course I do dumbass! Chuck me the headphones." He does without so issue and presses play on the track.
Immediately I smile at the sound of my voice, for once not having an form of insecurity behind it. I sounded good and I was gosh damn proud of it. I start banging my head around slightly to the beat of song, admitting to myself that Wilbur is in fact a music teacher for a reason, and was bloody good at it.
I look over at him with a joyous expression, half expecting him to smile back at me. But all I see is a worried look on his face as he flips through the other pages of the journal.
"What's up big guy?" I ask, patting him on the shoulder.
"You really like this Mark guy huh?" He says, gesturing to the many pages of my journal filled with red ink. My face flushes red as I snatch the book off him.
"Yeah, yeah I do." I admit through a soft and bittersweet smile. He smiles at me.
"Well tell me about him then," I smile back at him.
"Why do you acre about him, you're my music teacher." He gives a fake look of offence.
"First of, I know for fact I'm more to you than just a teacher. And second off, sue me for getting invested, you obviously like the guy a lot and I wanna know more about him." I smile to myself as I think over everything I can about Mark.
"He's the sweetest guy I know in all honesty. Like he is so incredibly considerate and caring. I sung on call with him once, and my voice was all scratchy and shit and he told me that it was by far the most beautiful voice he had ever heard, and that he would make his one true goal for me to recognise it. I just sat there and cried, but like a good cry, y'know. And he has this special way with words that's just so incredibly smooth. And his voice is so calming too. It's like... like honey. I don't know how to properly describe it, it's just so... comforting. Like whenever I hear him it feels like home, the most like home I've felt in a long long time."
Though I rambled on for longer than needed, Wilbur listens to every word. Smiling wider at each sentence.
"Honestly sounds like you love him," I smile to myself.
"I think I did." I admit. He pauses.
"Did?" He asks in confusion. I give a deep sigh.
"Yeah, he ghosted me a week ago." His eyes sadden.
"Why's that?" He asks quietly. Words start to lump in my throat. As does my anger.
"Hell if I fucking know. 10 minutes beforehand , I called him, commenting on the letter he sent me professing his fucking love to me. And then the next he messages me saying 'I can't do this anymore'." My voice starts to weaken as the last couple sentences fall out of my mouth. Tears start to form in my eyes at the mere thought of him.
Wilbur rushes to my side, engulfing me in a warm hug before a single tear can fall.
"Hey, hey it's okay." He consoles. I turn and dig my head into his shoulder, letting the tears fall.
"I-I just don't know what I did w-wrong!" I exclaim, clinging to his shirt as my sobs grow louder.
"Shhh, Isla deep breaths okay, deep breaths." I try my hardest to breath in time with him, to calm myself down before I go into yet another meltdown. After a couple minutes of wracked sobs and breathing, trembling bodies and a lot of hugging. I calm down enough to end up in just a bunch of sniffles.
"Is this what you didn't want to tell me?" He asks softly. I shakily nod my head.
"Are you ready to tell me now?" He asks even softer, his tone alerting me that no is still an option. I decide to ignore that option.
I've been provided the comfort I've been longing. A comfort I trust.
I deserve to let my emotions go.
---
I tell him everything. The whole story of Mark and I, the whole dilemma with Tubbo, my feelings toward the situation and every irrelevant bit in-between.
I let it all go
And god, does letting go feel good.
"Wow," Wilbur says once I finished my spiel.
"Yeah. That's been my life for the past couple months." He slowly nods. His arms remained around me the entire time, and they still remain now.
"Just one question." He says, I nod my head into his shoulder, looking up at him in curiosity.
"How the fuck do kids your age have such interesting love lives. Like genuinely what the fuck?" I giggle at the question, giving a small shrug of my shoulders in response. For a few short moments we fall into a small silence.
"If you think Tubbo hates you, he doesn't," I sigh into his shoulder.
"Yeah? How do you know that?" I ask, the term coming off more rude than I expected.
"He stopped by my office everyday this week just to ask if I had seen you. To ask if you were okay. To care for you, Isla." My eyes widen at the thought.
"Still, I yelled at him in the cafeteria. I told him that I didn't need him. Even if he didn't hate me then, he hates me now." I wipe my eyes, the excess tears now threatening to fall.
"Do you wanna know what he said when I asked him why he wanted to see you?" I sigh and nod my head.
"He said he wanted his best friend back. No matter the circumstances. He wanted his friend back. And now that I understand those circumstances, I can see why."
The tears fall once again.
God I fucked up so bad.
"I want him back too." I choke out, wiping my eyes aggressively, trying to desperately keep my tears from staining my shirt once more.
"Then do it, go after him Isla. If you can't have Mark, you can have the next best thing. If not better."
"And what exactly is that?" I ask.
"Your soulmate." He states plainly. I let out a sob.
"Even if it isn't romantic, you guys are made for each other. You are each others better half. You deserve each other, you need each other, you were made for each other. That's what soulmates are for."
I smile at the thought. At the truth.
Tubbo was my best friend. My platonic soulmate.
I need him as much as he needs me.
And I was going to try my god damn hardest to get him back, get my best friend back.
No matter the circumstances.
"So, what are you gonna do Isla?" He asks. I get up, escaping his hug and packing up my things.
"I'm gonna get my best friend back." I state confidently.
"Damn fucking right you are." He cheers. I smile the most genuine smile I can muster.
"Well," I say, packing up all of our equipment. "Let's go get him!"
I go to run out the door, now determined to make amends with the situation.
"Woah it back tiger," He says, standing in front of the door. "We still have to go to work."
I pull my phone out of my pocket to check the time, sure enough it was 45 minutes until work started.
"Shit." I mutter to myself.
"We can go rescue your relationship with Tubbo later, for now we've got to haul ass back to your house so you can get changed." I let out a deep sigh.
"Why did you have to bring work up? I was in such a good mood."
"Well, regardless of your drama, you still have to pay your bills. So let's go." He pats me on the head as we walk out of the studio. The contact brings a smile to my face.
As we walk out into the carpark, Will reaches for his keys, pulling them out his pocket and unlocking the car. I hop in the passenger side, throwing my belongings in the back once again. Wilbur sets himself up in the drivers seat, following me in throwing his belongings in the back.
As he starts the car, I let the words fall out of my mouth.
"Thank you. Genuinely Will, thank you." He turns to me and smiles his iconic smile.
"It's no problem Isles. Just remember something for me." I give a small hum in recognition.
"You're gonna get through this. Ok? You guys are Tubbo and Isla for fuck sake. You always do."
I smile wide up at him before turning to face the window. Finally feeling content with the situation.
Because, once again, he was right.
We're Tubbo and Isla for fuck sake.
It's us against the world.
Forever and always.
•~~~~~~~~~~~•
FUCKING FINALLY.
I have had the most stressful and tiring week this week I swear to god. I'm so sorry this came out late, school picked up so fast and I suddenly became extremely busy. But I got it done eventually so it's all good!
I told you guys it would get better! Tubbo and Isla are finally becoming friends again. See! I'm not a complete bitch. Though I understand you guys still being skeptical of me after Bubblegum and Fly Me To The Moon.
For the Tubnat enjoyers in the comments, make sure you are here for next chapter. It's gonna be fucking good.
Big thank you to my best friend Lachy for giving me spotify premium. You have fucking saved me once again. There's a reasion I kept you around /j
Now that spotify wrapped is out I'm curious to hear everyone's. Mine was actually reasonable this year. Except for the genre's. Wtf is dream smp genre music.
My spotify wrapped for anyone that cares:
One of you guys asked for a playlist of song recommendations. So I made one for you all! I have the spotify code and I'll also add a link in the comments.
Also go follow my spotify! I make a bunch of fun playlists on there if you're interested!
The Kiss Her You Fool playlist:
The song recs playlist:
Anyway, one last thing I would like to say to you guys is that I'm here if you need. I know it's kind of weird for you to come to a block men fanfiction writer for help. But if you need someone to vent to, my DM's are always open. Or even if you just want someone to chat to. I will gladly hold a conversation. I oive talking to you guys. You are all awesome!
Anyway, I hope you have a great rest, of your day/night. Remember to eat and drink something if you haven't already. Your opinions and emotions are completely valid and welcomed and I wish you nithing but the best. Love you all! ❤️❤️