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"Planning a birthday party? With this group? Nope. Not happening. Leave."
Daisuke Kamakiri didn't sugarcoat his belligerent order. Unfortunately for him, the bunch who'd raided his sanctuary in the library were far from compliant.
Toru Igarashi.
Banri Taniguchi.
Issei Enatsu.
Jin Narumi.
Rin Mizota.
They were a bunch who'd otherwise never interact if not for the girl who single-handedly connected their lives.
"Had a feeling this would happen," Toru sighed, properly folding his legs into a crisscrossed position. With his palms leaned back, he made himself completely at home. "It sounded ridiculous when I heard it too."
"Kisa's birthday is coming up. A special occasion. It goes without saying we go all out for her sake." Stars enveloped Banri's eyes. "As we should! Ah, the day my goddess graced us plebeians on this lowly planet should be celebrated as a global holiday!"
"A birthday party," Narumi murmured, already caving under the pressure. "For Kisaragi. . ."
"A great idea, right?" Issei beamed. "We have a little over a week to get everything ready. In terms of that, I was thinking—"
"Here, here!" Rin, who'd been silently observing from the sidelines, raised his arm. "If it's about throwing Shii a birthday party, I have tons of ideas!"
"The hell is he here for?" Kamakiri remarked. "Get him out."
"Trust me. None of us wanted him here either." Toru, sharing the sentiment, scoffed. "He's the one who invited everyone, claiming he's known Kisaragi the longest."
Banri's scowl sucked the oxygen from the air. Narumi's puppy-like glare demonstrated he'd put up his guard as well.
"I have qualms about how Mizota went about confessing to Kisaragi too, but we're not any better," Issei interjected before tensions could escalate. "I'd argue we extend at least some sympathy. It was an honest misunderstanding on his part."
"He's in the wrong for believing Kisa would ever go for a phony ladies man like him," Banri spat.
"Phony?" Slack-jawed, Rin lowered the shades and mask he'd donned to disguise himself. "I'll have you know I'm the hottest celebrity in Japan! Every girl and their mothers' blather left and right about my charm. Besides, Shii didn't turn me down. She asked to give her time to think it over!"
"If she has to consider it, you're already out," Kamakiri said, point-blank.
Rin recoiled. "Not true! Shii and I have an impenetrable bond! She's definitely choosing me!"
"Believe what you will, Rin-Rin," Toru taunted. "So? What ideas do you have exactly?"
"Only Shii's allowed to call me that," he retorted.
"Tacky-Rin," Banri said.
"Idiot-Rin," Kamakiri added.
"Loser-Rin," Narumi murmured.
"Guys." Issei sweatdropped. "Don't spite him."
Grinding his teeth, Rin burst to his feet. "I can see I'm not welcome here! Screw it! I'll throw Shii the biggest and baddest birthday bash of her life without you losers! You'll regret this!"
In a flurry, he stomped to the exit. Right when he spun the knob, however, he screeched to a breakneck halt. The others watched on in confusion. Expelling a breath, he slumped his shoulders.
"I've been gone for a year. Me, someone who's been by her side every day since we were six. In that year alone, Shii went through so much. She lost her mom months before I made my debut and left. School didn't make it easy on her on top of that. I had to hear her struggles over the phone, and couldn't do anything but cheer her on. I can't count the number of times I nearly quit it all and ran home, but she talked me out of it every time. If it's one thing she's great at, it's pretending everything is fine when in reality, it isn't. I dumbly let her convince me she was all right."
Nobody made a peep.
"While I couldn't be there for her, you all were. The reason Shii is the happiest she's been in so long, why she can smile wholeheartedly. . . it doesn't take a genius to figure out it's 'cause of you guys, one way or another. While I don't like having to rely on people I technically consider rivals, this isn't about me. It's about Shii. And if I want to make this birthday special for her, I can't neglect how important you are to her. Shii's mom never failed to go all out for special occasions—birthdays especially. It'll. . . be her second birthday without her. Shii was so down she hardly left her room last year. So, this year at least—at least this year. . ."
"It doesn't have to be perfect, right?" Toru said to shatter the crestfallen silence that engulfed the room.
"So long as we're doing it, I'd be damned if it isn't," Banri corrected. "Kisa deserves nothing less."
"I-It isn't like I'm agreeing to it because of what you said," Narumi added. "I was already on board with this plan. If it'll delight Kisaragi, of course, I'll do anything."
Red-faced and twiddling his thumbs, he whispered the last bit too quietly for the others to hear.
"Whatever," Kamakiri said, poker-faced. "You losers have three seconds to state your plans or I'm throwing you out."
"So it's settled," Issei cheered. "We should divide up the work to efficiently get things done in time."
"In terms of entertainment, I'll handle that!" Rin offered. "I'll serenade Shii with my sexy voice—"
"No," they said in unison.
"Why?" he said.
"It'll piss us off," they replied.
Rin tapered his eyelids then sighed, whipping out his cell. "Fine. I'll ask if Mortal Mania is available. Shii loves listening to their songs."
"As in, th-the real deal?"
He blinked, addressing Toru who now vibrated in place.
"Y—you have—have their number? Mortal—"
"Both him and Kisaragi are huge fans," Issei explained.
"Oh? Is that it?" Rin laughed. "Well, I wouldn't say I'm close to them. I ran into them at an event but that was before I really got my name out there. Now that I have, I've built tons of connections. If Mortal Mania isn't available, I'll try asking my other friends in the industry for a favour. I work with a bunch of well-known fashion designers and stylists. Oh, and I've gotten to know a couple of actors and actresses in these bits I do."
"Designers?" Banri perked.
"Actors and actresses?" Issei, unfortunately, had been caught in his web too.
"We get it. You're a big shot," Kamakiri derided. "Deflate your ego."
"Shii's told me you're into reading," Rin said without missing a beat. "Also that your favourite author is Gen Ochiro."
"What of it?"
"I've gotten to know his celebrity father, Mr. Ryo, at a couple of talk shows. He brags about his son all the time. Gives me tons of Gen's books—some of those that have never been released to the public. Honestly, I'm not into sci-fi and fantasy, so I haven't gotten around to picking them up to read. Though, if you're an avid bibliophile, why don't I give them to you?"
Kamakiri's impassivity remained.
Rin sweatdropped at his intense glare.
Folding his arm over the other, Kamakiri pursed his lips and said, "If you're lying, you'll regret it."
"I'm serious," Rin replied, smiling as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He turned to his left. "As for. . . 'Naru', was it? I haven't gotten to properly thank you. On Valentine's Day, you protected Shii and even consoled her. I seriously respect you. You're the coolest guy on the planet for that."
"C-coolest?" Narumi's steely demeanour melted into unadulterated euphoria. He obnoxiously laughed. "You're just saying that!"
"I mean it! I aspire to be as manly as you are. I'd even beg you to take me on as your disciple."
"I mean, if you insist! I can't exactly turn you down! I am manly, after all. The manliest!"
"Shii's right. You are a simpleton."
"Pardon me?"
"Nothing, nothing!"
"Hold on, Rin," Toru interjected. "Spill the details. Mortal Mania aside, who are these 'friends' you're talking about? They have to be celebrities—musicians—right? Also, I gotta ask. Since you don't write your own songs, these songwriters you work with—"
"Wait your turn, pipsqueak," Banri said. "Those designers and stylists, I'm going to need names."
"Do you have any experience with acting, Mizota?" Issei cut in. "I wouldn't mind hearing all about them and any tips you may have about breaking into the industry."
"Butt out," Kamakiri said. "Are you telling the truth about those books or not, Idiot-Rin?"
"H-hang on a second! He was asking for my advice," Narumi insisted. "My manly advice."
Rin, the same Rin they were grilling maliciously not too long ago, could merely forge a smile as they bickered back and forth for his undivided attention. Rationally speaking, it wasn't an uncommon phenomenon. He was a natural at getting along with anyone he interacted with. It was what scored him the hearts of the entire nation, after all.
"My charm seriously is villainous."
"What?" the five boys demanded.
Stiffening, Rin waved. "We can exchange numbers and stories later. Right now, we're focusing on planning Shii's birthday party, aren't we?"
At the mention of the girl who independently owned their affection, they rescinded, albeit reluctantly.
"I've got entertainment handled, so what about presents? Since I'm Shii's favourite person, merch of me should be perfect. Posters, hoodies, pins, albums—anything with my pretty face."
Their moods soured. A stilted silence elapsed.
"Huh? What's with those 'Shii-deserves-better' stares?"
To address Rin's confusion, Toru replied, "This is Kisaragi's birthday present. Why are you only thinking of yourself?"
"Bluntly put, I should be the one in charge of buying my goddess a present," Banri said. "As her loyal servant, I understand her needs better than anyone."
"And here this guy is calling himself a servant," Toru deadpanned. "Proudly."
"If it's a present, I have ideas, too," Narumi said.
"The gift is important," Issei agreed. "I can see why we'd all have qualms. Since we each have our fair share of input, why don't we go around and gauge how good they'd realistically be? Kamakiri can be our impartial judge."
"Whatever. I'll be stuck cooking for you halfwits anyway."
With Kamakiri's noncommittal response, Issei placed a finger to his chin.
"Kisaragi's a girl so wouldn't jewelry be your first thought? Nothing extravagant. Maybe earrings?"
"Shii's not exactly an earring person," Rin refuted, gesturing to his studded earrings. "I should know 'cause I own more. Besides, she doesn't even have her ears pierced."
"Next?" Kamakiri said, arms crossed.
Issei slumped over.
"I can design Kisa an outfit," Banri offered. A wide grin spread across his face. "Truth be told, I have a few sketches that'll suit my darling goddess perfectly. If I start sewing it tonight I can have it ready in time for the party."
"On the off chance we allow. . . that," Toru drawled, "wouldn't you have to get her sizes first? Pestering her about them would ruin the surprise."
It was a reasonable inquiry. Which was why none of them expected Banri to puff his chest.
"Who do you think I am? I have Kisa's heavenly body proportions, her three sizes, memorized to a T! Everything about my goddess—from her lean chest to the curves of her hips and ankles—all of it! The clothes I make her will fit marvellously on her irresistible skin. Then—and only then—will my life be complete!"
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"I'm calling the cops," Rin declared.
The others, shuddering, repulsion clear as day, whispered fervently amongst themselves.
"He's a pervert."
"How could we let this creep walk around so openly?"
"How many girls does he stalk on a daily basis?"
Banri was quick to hush their harsh whispers. He insisted plenty that Shiina Kisaragi was the sole girl he cared for as deeply as he does, and that it was nowhere near indecent or creepy. Regardless, the others scooted a safe distance and gripped their devices close just in case.
"Pretty Boy, Glasses, and Pervert's ideas are out," Kamakiri disclosed, flatly. "What's yours, coward?"
"M-me?"
"Did I stutter?"
With all focus on him, Narumi couldn't help but choke up. "My present? For Kisaragi? Um. . ."
A blush stained every inch of his skin.
"I-I. . . Since I've never actually had a birthday party, I don't know how well they'd fare, but, for Kisaragi. . . I would gift her a picture frame of a favourite memory, or maybe write a personalized card. Getting her something sweet could work too, even if I'm not the best at baking. . ."
Kamakiri frowned, shut his eyes, and heaved. "Unlike the others, your ideas are too pure to poke fun at."
"You're too wholesome for this world," Rin added with a laugh.
Narumi blinked, question marks spiralling above his head.
"What about you, Kamakiri?" Issei asked. "You are the judge, but did you have anything in mind?"
"A stuffed animal. She likes cute stuff."
His brusque answer stunned them for a good while.
"Isn't that embarrassing at our age?"
"She's the definition of embarrassing. Regularly fawns over the ones I've made, the penguin one particularly."
Banri lifted the said item, eyeballing the fluffy, blue pillow. "You made this?"
Issei raised the yellow rabbit. Rin, the grey puppy. Narumi coddled the red panda.
"It is adorable," Narumi agreed.
Toru sighed. "You guys don't understand Kisaragi at all."
"And you do, midget?" Kamakiri countered.
"We are scarily alike. As long as I get her a gift, she'll love it, guaranteed."
"Where do you get that infinite confidence?"
"It's justified," he insisted. "That being said, jewelry is out. So are outfits, cards, stuffed animals, and whatever delusions you're fantasizing about. The present that'll win her heart—yes—it's me!"
Dead silence swept the room.
"Dirtbag," Kamakiri spat.
"Hear me out!" he demanded. "She's one hundred percent the type of person who'd say, "Being with everyone like this is a dream come true, I don't need anything else!" All teary-eyed and everything!"
"Kisa sounds nothing like that." Banri commented on his squeaky voice.
"Meaning," he enunciated, "whether we throw her a big bash or get her the most expensive gifts, she'll cry a river about how far we all went for her more than the present and the party itself. She's sentimental like that."
"You aren't wrong," Rin agreed. "Regardless, the whole purpose of throwing a party is to go all out. We can't not get her something."
"Like I said, leave it to me!" Toru bore a full-blown grin. "I'll get her the best presents, guaranteed."
Despite withholding a reasonable degree of doubt, they left it at that. Above them all, he was the best suited for the job. Rather, without him, it'd fall apart.
"So, Kamakiri's handling the cooking," Issei listed. "Mizota has entertainment. We'll leave Igarashi in charge of the gifts. That only leaves decorations, inviting guests, and. . . Can we leave the cake to you, Narumi? If you can't bake like you mentioned, store-bought is fine."
"I'll do my best," he replied.
"Decorations should be saved for the person with an artistic eye. . . Banri it is."
"Why did that sound cynical?" Banri said.
"Take this seriously, all right? Even if you won't get to drool over Kisaragi's body, this is an important task."
"I won't drool! Since I'm doing it, I'll do it perfectly!"
"Then, inviting guests is my responsibility." Issei adjusted his glasses. "I'll ensure Kisaragi's surprise party catches her off guard. I'll master this role without a realm of doubt."
"We have doubts," they declared in unison.
Nevertheless, their responsibilities in their grasps, the dysfunctional group dispersed.
And the preparations for her birthday bash began.