WARNING: drug dealing, prostitution, mentions of drug abuse
People say that Las Vegas comes alive after midnight. They say that midnight is when the club are full of tourists eager to party and get wasted. They say that midnight is when the multi colored neon lights adorning the fronts of every shop, casino or bars, are the brightest. They say that midnight is when trouble arises; the time where all the junkies come out, searching for dealers or coffee shops to buy weed from. The time where troublemakers roam the streets looking for someone to pick a fight with. Jeongguk was none of those. At least not today. Today he was just a guy, lost and sober in a city too big for him.
With a heavy sigh of boredom, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans, head empty as he made his way to the bar he was supposed to meet the stranger at. The bar in question was quite small compared to the other buildings in the area, and duller as well. The lights weren't as bright, the colors not as catchy as the ones of the clubs nearby. The name 'Vegas Sips' was written in cursive letters on the front, the letters engraved in the wall flashing intermittently.
He didn't let himself find time to think about anything else than what he came here to do and entered the bar, greeted with the smell of tequila and a few dozens people chatting and making small talk with each other.
"Hi there! Do you want anything to drink?" The bartender offered Jeongguk once the boy approached him. Jeongguk looked at him as he sat down on one of the high chairs in front of the counter. He had curly ash colored hair and tanned skin, his eyes a shade somewhere between pine green and chocolate brown. He seemed nice too, his smile was warm and welcoming, genuine. Jeongguk smiled back at him.
"Thank you, but no. I'm waiting for someone." He replied with a polite nod of his head, and the bartender nodded back at him, turning away to speak to another customer. Any other day Jeongguk would've jumped on a boy like that; so sweet looking and adorable. But once again, not today. Today he came with something to do and he was determined to follow his plan from A to Z and not let any sort of distraction disrupt him.
His plan was simple: go to the bar's bathroom, do whatever the stranger wanted him to do, get the money, and leave.
He waited a good five minutes before the familiar face of the man who knocked at this door this morning appeared in the middle of the bar. Jeongguk let out a sigh of relief though he knew it was only the beginning.
"Let's get this over with." He spat as soon as the guy was close enough to hear him. He didn't let him say anything back, only grabbed his wrist to drag him to the bathroom. The man was quite light, the only thing that weighted anything on his body was probably his bones considering how scrawny he seemed. Jeongguk didn't need to ask to know what it was due to. People who can buy cocaine are rich, they have all the money needed to buy themselves meals you couldn't even imagine. Caviar, foie gras, saffron, truffles... you name it. The only reason why coke addicts were skinny was because of the drug itself. Appetite suppressing leading to weight loss. Classic.
Jeongguk slammed the stranger on the wall in the very corner of the bathroom as soon as he was able to, not even bothering to ask for his name — he didn't care, after all. The only thing he wanted from that creep was his money, and loads of it.
"Money first." Jeongguk requested, extending his arm, palm flat as he wiggled his fingers, waiting for the stranger to pay him.
"Not even gonna get a hello or anything? How rude." The guy laughed, yellow teeth showing as he threw his head back. Jeongguk grimaced at the sight, disgusted.
"Shut the fuck up and pay me." He repeated, losing his already thin patience.
"Fine." The stranger huffed. Reaching into his pocket, he rummaged through his belongings before curling his fingers around the wad of banknotes he'd specially prepared for the occasion. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and slammed the money on Jeongguk's palm, the boy immediately closing his palm around it to shove it in his own pockets.
"Can I have my coke and my blowjob now?" The stranger complained, his voice irritatingly whiny and high pitched which didn't do much except fuel Jeongguk's hatred for the disgusting man even more.
Nonetheless, he hummed. Not because he wanted to — trust me, sucking this crusty guy's dick wasn't in his bucket list — but because he didn't have a choice.
So he agreed, and a second later he was down on his knees.
—
— I randomly woke up, opened my snap, and this is what I'm greeted with???
2.3k retweets 4.1k likes
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peachiichim: is that his sex face? Because if yes, ew 😭
hobisexual: you can't really tell from the picture but he liked it a lot
yoongay: this isn't what I mean when I talk about tongue technology
taesty: why the fuck are you all awake
kingjoonie: HELP ME
—
As soon as the stranger left, Jeongguk wiped his mouth and turned on the sink to splash his face with water, hoping it would help clear his mind and perhaps forget about what he had just done. God he was so disgusted with himself. Giving himself away for money. He should be used to it, he was a stripper after all. But it wasn't the same. He chose to become a stripper, chose to let some people touch him and push the others away. He chose to have sex with whoever he wanted to, because he found them attractive. But what he did just now, it had nothing to do with want and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he even let this guy's nasty hands touch him. The mere thought caused goosebumps to erupt all over his porcelain skin.
But the worst part was, it wasn't the end of this terrible night.
One of the doors behind him opened. Jeongguk was quick to lift his head up, glancing at the mirror above the sink to catch a glimpse of the person's face. However, their whole head was covered with a hood so he didn't get to see anything at all. He was about to look away, not at all interested to know who this person was or what they heard, when a movement caught his attention.
The stranger pulled his hood down and upon seeing who was hidden under the thick material, Jeongguk felt the sudden urge to dig a hole and bury himself in it to hide forever.
Because there, not less than a meter behind him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, stood Kim Taehyung in all his glory. He was sporting a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, both a dark shade of grey. His raven curls were covering his forehead and a part of his eyes, but the look in his pupils could still be read easily. Jeongguk could see every single emotion flashing through the pretty chocolate orbs. Disappointment, anger, disgust. A deadly combination. How many times had he seen it by now? Way too many. Enough that he got used to it and it didn't even bother him any more.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He spat, drying his face with some paper towels. He didn't dare to turn around, afraid to meet Taehyung's gaze. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold it for more than a second, with all the powerful feelings it held.
"I followed you." Taehyung blurted out, devoid of any shame. "I knew something was off this morning, when the guy came to 'get some stuff'" he explained, making air-quotes with his hands, not once detaching his eyes from Jeongguk's reflect in the mirror.
Jeongguk scoffed, bitter.
"You followed me? What gave you the right?"
A silence ensued. Taehyung had no real excuse — he knew that. His gut feeling, that's what told him to follow Jeongguk. Screw the human brain for complicating everything. Now he was more confused that ever, and he wasn't sure if Jeongguk would provide him any information that could help him get rid of the frustrating feeling in his heart.
"I was worried." He breathed out, voice soft. It was true. As much as he hated to admit it, he was so fucking worried for Jeongguk. Even more now that he had gotten an occasion to see him in such a vulnerable state, a few hours ago.
It took a moment for Jeongguk to register what Taehyung had just said, and what it implied.
Worried? Was he worried... about him? The word was foreign to his ears, the only one worrying about him being Jimin, who gave up on trying to understand and help him a long time ago. Jeongguk didn't blame him, though. He would've given up too.
He wasn't worth worrying about. He was a junkie, a stripper, a sex addict. A soon-to-be prostitute.
He didn't deserve anyone's time, or energy. He did that — all of that — to himself. No one forced him to take the job as a stripper. No one forced him to get high on heroin. No one forced him to enjoy sex a little more than he should. So why did people care?
Why did Taehyung care?
"Well," he started, throat dry as ever. "I guess you're not worried anymore now that you've heard what went down." He added, sourly.
He should be angry that Taehyung followed him. And to some extent, he was. But how come he couldn't find the energy to be mad? How come he didn't even want to be mad?
To his surprise, Taehyung shook his head.
"Actually, I'm even more worried now." Their eyes met in the mirror, but Jeongguk was quick to turn his head away.
Taehyung took a step forward, done with the lack of contact, the lack of closure. He reached out to grab Jeongguk's wrist, pulling the stubborn boy towards himself and forcing him to turn around and face him.
"Who was this guy, Gguk?" He finally dared to ask the question tormenting him. Yes, he heard a lot of things earlier. But he didn't see anything, which made it a little harder to put the pieces together. Was Jeongguk a prostitute? Did the guy blackmail him? If not, why did he sound so angry when he spoke to him earlier? He heard them talk about coke, surely they weren't talking about the drink right? So did that make Jeongguk some kind of drug dealer? But why would he sell drugs when he already had a decent job at the strip club? This just didn't make sense.
Another long, painful silence. It wasn't awkward, just heavy. Jeongguk still avoided the eye contact, eyes fixated on the floor as if it was suddenly the most interesting thing ever.
He tried to make up a lie but what was the point? Taehyung had heard too many things, had seen too many things. It was too late to save himself with another lie.
"Why do you care?" He said instead, determined to stand his ground and avoid the subject. But of course Taehyung wasn't stupid, and he was pretty stubborn himself.
"Just answer." He ordered, his grip on Jeongguk's slim wrists tightening when the younger attempted to walk away.
Hell no. He was not letting go. He was not letting him go, not after what he witnessed. Where would Jeongguk go, anyway? Roam the streets to give his services to another creep? Taehyung couldn't let him do that. He knew it wasn't his business, hell, he shouldn't even be here to begin with, but it was too late to go back. All he could do was take a step forward now, and he needed to take Jeongguk with him.
The blond haired male looked up, empty eyes finally meeting Taehyung's warm, welcoming ones. He wanted to glare at him but didn't find the heart to do so, not when Taehyung cared for him.
"What do you think?" He scoffed, holding the eye contact. Upon receiving no answer, or any sort of reaction from the older, he sighed. "He's a customer Taehyung, I sold him coke."
Taehyung cringed at the mere mention of the drug. It wasn't a foreign word for him, as he spent four years in America to study and the people at his school often talked about those, but he still felt uncomfortable. He couldn't really explain why, but it just set a weird feeling in the pits of his stomach. However, since he didn't want Jeongguk to feel like he couldn't talk to him about these things, he did his best not to react.
"Just coke?" Taehyung frowned, openly doubting Jeongguk's response. He knew what else the younger did, just wanted to hear it from him. To make sure he wasn't mistaking. Or perhaps was he hoping that it wasn't what he thought it was. That it was all just a big misunderstanding.
But the silence he was met with was swift to clear the mystery. He swallowed the excess saliva building up in his mouth, nervously shaking his head.
"Jeongguk, tell me. I need to hear it from you, please." He insisted anyway. Why was the younger doing this? Why, why, why? Too many questions left unanswered floated around in his mind, and he needed clarity. Badly.
"Did this guy pay you to get a blowjob, Jeongguk? Just say yes or no."
The room was so loud despite the silence, it was almost overwhelming. All the sounds that should be minor and inaudible, like the electric noises of the lamps and the muffled music from the bar, seemed to be amplified. It was suffocating. Suffocating, like Taehyung grip on Jeongguk's wrists. Like the power Han had on him. Like the questions he was forced to answer.
"Yes. He paid me to get a blowjob and I said yes. Willingly." His voice was stern and similar to the look in his eyes; emotionless. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" Venom coated his words now, for a reason he couldn't explain. It was as if Taehyung was threatening him. But the thing he was threatening to break was just his facade, the mask he'd made for himself and never stopped wearing since then. And perhaps the idea of taking off that mask scared Jeongguk more than he'd like to admit. So he was back to his old ways: doing his best to make the people he liked hate him.
However, this time it didn't seem to work and suddenly he was the one trapped against the wall, Taehyung hovering over him. Jeongguk didn't even try to fight back or resist, just let Taehyung's eyes bore into his soul. The older could read him like an open book anyway, there was no point in hiding,
"You wanna know what I want to hear?" Taehyung's voice was low, and alarmingly so. Why did he sound so angry? He should be disgusted, not upset. Jeongguk didn't understand his behavior but nodded anyway, curious to know what Taehyung was expecting from him.
"The truth. That's what I want to hear." He deadpanned. "I want to know why you're doing this, and I want to hear you say 'I need help' because you do."
Jeongguk felt like Taehyung had just slapped him in the face. Since when did words hurt so bad? And since when did Jeongguk listen to other people? He didn't need help. Not Jimin's, not Taehyung's, not anyone's help. He had always been on his own, all his fucking life. It wasn't just going to suddenly change just because Taehyung pretended to care. Did he actually care, to begin with? And if yes, for how long? How long would it take for him to realize how useless it was to care for someone like Jeongguk?
He was bound to die anyway, either from the dangerous amounts of drugs his body handled every day or from the dangerous people who controlled his life. One mistake, and he was out, for good. He was walking on thin ice, trying to stay alive in a world that wanted him dead.
Did Taehyung know that? Of course not. He would never know that, or understand. You can't understand something fully if you've never lived through it. Just like Jeongguk would never understand the feeling of being safe, Taehyung would never get to understand how fucked up Jeongguk's life was.
"Fuck you, Taehyung. I don't need your fucking help." Taehyung was close to breaking him, he knew it. All he had to do was insist a little more, find the right words. Talking with Jeongguk was like trying to find the right combination to get in someone's apartment. An enigma that could take days, weeks, months or even years to solve. But if there was one thing that Taehyung was sure he had, it was patience. Patience, and the ability not to trust everything Jeongguk was saying.
And right now, he could tell Jeongguk didn't mean what he just said. He wanted to get rid of him, but Taehyung wasn't going anywhere before getting an answer.
"Why did you agree to give this guy a blowjob?" He decided to do things differently. Jeongguk wasn't ready to ask for help? That was alright with him. He would find a way to help anyway. But first he needed more informations.
"For money. Why do you care?" Jeongguk rolled his eyes, repeating his question from earlier which Taehyung chose to ignore for the second time.
"Why do you need money? Don't you have a job already?" Jeongguk's face hardened but Taehyung didn't budge.
"Mind your fucking business Taehyung." The blond growled. His tongue poked at his cheek and his hands turned into fists, hinting at the anger bubbling up inside of him.
A silence, again. Taehyung noticed how tense Jeongguk looked. His behavior only raised more questions in his head but it wasn't the right time to ask them. He took a minute to ponder about what to say next, knowing full well that one mistake could erase all the progress he'd made in the past fifteen minutes.
"Do you want to hit me?" He ended up asking, voice soft as he ogled Jeongguk's clenched fists, noticing how white his knuckles were.
"What?" Jeongguk exclaimed, startled. He followed Taehyung's gaze and gulped, opening his fists. "Of course not." He added, running an anxious hand through his blond locks. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Taehyung.
"Who are you so angry at, then?" The older wanted to know, carefully taking Jeongguk's hands in his own, bigger ones; his eyes not once leaving the other's.
Jeongguk let his hand fall on Taehyung's shoulder, too ashamed to look at him directly.
"I don't wanna say." He muttered.
"Why?" Taehyung insisted, and Jeongguk let out a whine, annoyed because the older was more stubborn than what he'd expected.
"Stop."
"Stop what?" Taehyung wasn't giving up. Why wasn't he giving up?
"Stop talking." Jeongguk completed, taking a step back to glare at the man.
A chuckle slipped past Taehyung's lips at the younger's words.
"You wish I would stop talking, huh? You wish I'd just leave you alone already, so you can continue your little self destruction without me bothering you." The older guessed, tilting his head to the side to scrutinize the blond's expression.
Jeongguk did his best to keep his features as neutral as he could, not keen on the idea of letting Taehyung know just how much his words affected him.
But little did he know, his lack of response was the best way to show Taehyung how he felt.
"I'm not self destructing." Jeongguk bit back, folding his arms over his chest.
Typical. Taehyung thought, analyzing his posture. Jeongguk, despite standing right in front of Taehyung, wasn't actually facing him. His torso was slightly turned away from the latter, his arms were crossed and he was unable to hold the eye contact. It didn't take a genius to realize that he wasn't comfortable, at all. Yet Taehyung had a feeling this could be it. He was so close to breaking the blond's facade, so close to finally catching a glimpse of what was under that unrealistic mask of his. And god was it frustrating, to be so close to your goal but not quite enough to grasp it.
So he took a step forward, closing the distance between his body and the younger's one.
"If you're not self destructing, then explain this." He drawled, grabbing the boy's arm and twisting it to reveal the inside of his elbow, where the delicate skin was covered in needle scars. "I know I can't stop you from doing that shit. And frankly, I don't care about what you do in your free time." A lie. "If you want to hurt yourself, go right ahead. It's not my business, is it?" It is my business. I want to help you. "But I won't let you sell your body to some random creep. That's where I draw the line Jeongguk."
"Why?" Jeongguk breathed out, voice softening but only for a brief moment. "Why does it matter what I do with my body? You don't own me Taehyung, not even the smallest fucking piece of me." The blond reminded him, brows furrowing in anger.
Own you?
That was such a strange term to use. Why would anyone want to be owned? Why would anyone own another person? People aren't owned. Not by their parents, not by their friends, not by their lover.
People belong to themselves and themselves only.
Objects are owned. Humans are not.
Did Jeongguk think of himself as an object? Some kind of toy for men to take and then throw away carelessly? Was that really what his frequent hookups were all about? Did he enjoy being tossed around like a ball at a game?
This wasn't okay. At all.
Jeongguk wasn't a toy, hell no. He was so much more than an item. So much more than what he painted himself as. Under all the layers of lies, cocky smirks and sexual innuendos lied a pretty boy with a heart that needed to be cherished, much like everyone else's.
"I don't want to own you Jeongguk, I want to help you." Taehyung corrected the younger male and pulled him closer to himself by his arm, close enough for their chest to brush against one another. Close enough for him to see the way Jeongguk's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed nervously. And then, without a warning, he wrapped his arms around the boy's slim waist and hugged him.
Jeongguk didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly didn't expect that.
Warmth engulfed him whole, hitting him with so much deja vu it almost fell surreal.
When was the last time he'd been hugged?
"I won't let you sell yourself for money, Gguk." Taehyung whispered, hand lost in Jeongguk's pretty blond hair. "I'll help you, okay? I'll give you money if you need money. I don't mind. Please just don't let other people use your body." The ravenette said, stroking the boy's hair in a gentle manner. He could feel how stiff Jeongguk was, but he didn't care. This felt nice, and if Jeongguk wasn't pushing him away, he probably enjoyed it a little too, even if he didn't want to admit it. Hugs are proved to provide serotonin, after all. And who didn't like a good serotonin rush every now and then?
Serotonin often leads to happiness, something a lot of people chase constantly.
The way Taehyung saw it, happiness depended a lot on a person's state of mind. He always did his best to stay positive in the worst situations because he knew that moping and overthinking would only lead to more and more problems that could have been avoided. If you can only see the negative side of things, those things are going to pile up and instead of having one big problem, you'll end up with dozens of little problems that need to be treated individually and will waste both your time and your energy.
Happiness was all about the ability to see beauty in things that seem commonplace at first, to enjoy those short moments of peace instead of letting them pass mindlessly.
However, he wasn't an idiot. He knew that happiness didn't just come to you magically. He knew it wasn't that easy to find the positive in bad situations.
Happiness was a lot about a person's state of mind, but it was widely influenced by that person's surroundings: their relatives, their environment, their past, their ethnicity or sexuality, or their status in society.
And the world was an unfair place, who didn't give the same amount of luck to every person. Taehyung was aware of that, hence why he didn't argue with people who didn't share his opinion on happiness. Happiness is different for everyone, but one thing will never change: joy is needed to make a person's life worth living. Even if it's just by small amounts, every now and then. Even if it's just a small sip from a bottle that's big enough to last a century. You have to take it, and cherish it because before you know, it will be gone.
For Taehyung, happiness was just like water. People let it flow from their fingers, too busy with their life to realize how much of it they were wasting.
So close your fist, close your fist now and don't let it go away. Hold onto it because it's the only thing you have.
This was what Taehyung strived to do, every day.
Jeongguk never responded to Taehyung's offer. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to reply to kindness because he wasn't familiar with it. So instead he leaned his head on the man's shoulder and closed his eyes, arms still hanging awkwardly by his sides although none of them cared. Maybe sometimes all he needed was a hug. Only he was too prideful to ask, and he didn't have a lot of people around him who would be willing to give him one anyway.
It was a shame, really, because just from the comforting feeling of Taehyung's arms around his body, Jeongguk felt a bit better. It didn't make his problems go away; of course not. But at this very moment, it seemed like they were just floating in the air, and the weight on Jeongguk's shoulders was finally lifted off him, even if it was only for a little while.
For a good five minutes, none of the boys spoke up. Until Taehyung broke the silence.
"Please talk to me Jeongguk." He was almost begging him at this point.
Jeongguk took a deep breath, heart torn between the temptation of trusting Taehyung and finally opening up to someone about the tornado of hellish thoughts haunting him, or holding onto his secrets for a little while longer to protect himself from potential backfire.
"Fine, I'll talk." Jeongguk said at last, a smile appearing on his face when Taehyung's hold tightened around his waist.
Did he just make someone happy? Even if it wasn't on purpose, this felt nicer than expected.
"Thank you." Taehyung whispered. "You don't know how much this means to me."
"Don't be dramatic." Jeongguk snorted, pulling away from the older. "I'm not gonna tell you all about the shitty fairytale that is my life. Just what you need to know, and only because you heard stuff. Not because I want to or whatever." He added with a roll of his eyes.
"Right." Taehyung chuckled. He wasn't buying it, but he was fine with pretending he believed the younger's blatant lie if it made him feel better about the situation.
They made eye contact again, and this time none of them dared to break it.
I trust you Taehyung, so please don't fuck me over.
I hope this wasn't too dialogue heavy :(((
I think next chapter might be even worse because Taekook are finally gonna talk to each other, like talk talk you know