This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions/behaviors such as suicide, self-harm, or abuse.
Izuku Midoriya
From the silhouette in the night, Midoriya identified the figure in front of him as Bakugou.
"Wh-Where..." gasped Midoriya in a hoarse, defeated cry. "Where is...Shouto?" His voice was sundered before he could finish his sentence, but his words lived on.
"It's your fault..." sibilated the irate ash-blonde in a coruscating growl. "Why'd you let him go down this path?!" Bakugou trembled as he took one ponderous step towards Midoriya, who was nonplussed and at the mercy of his own paralyzing guilt. "You were his reason to live... Why did..." He took yet another thunderous step towards Midoriya. "Why did you have to be so selfish?!" Like a livid lion, Bakugou stormed across the rooftop and lunged for his enervated prey.
Midoriya could only watch as his childhood friend began to hunt him down. I didn't know... I didn't know. I didn't know! I let him die... Shouto... You're right: it is my fault. I should've noticed. I should've been able to stop him. I should've been able to prevent this! But I was too selfish to realize...that he was never okay. I... I made him do this. I made him...kill himself. I don't...deserve to be alive.
Bakugou slammed Midoriya onto the floor with a crackling thud, and with his quaking hands balled into fists, he began to strike Midoriya's face. "It's all your fault! All you h-had to fucking do was be there for him, and you couldn't even fucking do that right!" His torn knuckles wept, spilling their crimson tears onto Midoriya's pained, vacant visage.
The visceral blows of grief that Midoriya endured crunched through his skull, but he felt as though his mind had fluttered free from the fetters of reality. Nearly inaudible became Bakugou's invectives, and even the sputtering, throbbing pain lancing through Midoriya's nerves had become dull and somewhat numb.
I deserve this. He's right... I deserve this... Worthless Deku. Useless Deku. Stupid Deku. Deku, Deku, Deku... He's right. He's right... I'll do it, Kacchan. I'll take a swan dive off the roof. You're furious with me, right? This would make you happy, right? Shouto jumped, didn't he? I'll die the way he did. That's what...I deserve.
Finally, Bakugou faltered in his impetuous eruption of the torrent of ardent, complex feelings cutting him from within. His fist hovered above Midoriya's bruised, bloodied face, but with a choked sob, he dropped that blazing culmination of fury.
Frangible and tattered was Bakugou's voice as he whispered, "I... I'm s-sorry..." He didn't bother to wipe the tears pouring from his eyes as he helped Midoriya to sit up.
Kacchan...apologized? Midoriya pondered as he shook his head and forced himself to his feet. It hurts. It burns. It throbs. Don't apologize to me. I don't deserve any apologies after what I did... I'll make it up to you. I'll give you what you always wanted... He shambled towards the edge of the rooftop, and out of the corner of his eye, he espied something protruding from the ground, but he paid it little mind. I've wanted to die, you've wanted me to die, and now, the person that kept me from trying to die... I let him die. Useless Deku. Useless Deku...
The propinquity of the border separating Midoriya from his own fatality encroached on both his body and mind. "I'm sorry, Kacchan..." He could feel the fall of his chest as he stared into the abyss of gravity.
A gust of wind whipped across Midoriya's skin like blades of grass as his body faltered. Yet, he was embraced not by the void which stole from him the desire to live, but rather, he was embraced by both an embodiment of life, and an embodiment of death.
"Izuku..." A mirror of voices clashed in Midoriya's head; neither voice was stronger or more feeble than the other, and yet, although Midoriya could hear one with more clarity, he chose to drown that one out. "Don't..."
Shouto, how do I not deserve this? I let you suffer. I made you feel like no one cared about you. I couldn't...stop you from doing this. I never knew you were hiding so much. I should've. How could I have been so selfish so as to have been blind to how much pain you were going through? I took up all your time, I vented about my problems while assuming you were happy, and I never noticed the small things that you noticed in me right away. I was still blinded by my own problems when you let down your guard as a cry for help. I...
"I don't deserve to be alive." Midoriya's voice was as faint as a drizzle of rain. "I knew I never deserved you... All I did...was share my problems with you and let your own problems fester until... U-Until they..." Tears finally began to sprout from his eyes like crystalline leaves.
Bakugou pulled his classmate further back from the ledge. "Deku, I ain't Todoroki..." he muttered, but there was no venom in his voice. "He didn't jump."
A soggy bed of hope rippled within Midoriya. "Th-Then...he's alive, right?"
He has to be...right? If he didn't jump, and if he's not here, then—
"He's...over there." The grief gripping Bakugou's voice leaked through his husky words as he pointed to the adjacent edge of the rooftop. "I... I got up here, and he was standing there. But he wasn't facing the edge. I ran up to him, and he started hobbling towards me, but he...collapsed." Bakugou paused. "Y'know...what his dying words were? 'I was so sure I wanted to die...until it was too late. Save Izuku. Please... I just want him to be happy. Please...don't let anyone else...' And...he was gone. Deku, I'd hate you and never fucking forgive you if you killed yourself. You would be so fucking selfish to kill yourself now. Ending it ain't happiness... Even Todoroki saw that. He didn't plead for me to save you and secure your happiness for nothing.
"If you killed yourself...you'd be tearing apart his final will, and you'd be burdening me with knowing I let you both down, and that there's nothing I can do to change it anymore. I know I lashed out... I know I hurt you. I know what I fucking did...and I'm sorry, Deku. It's not your fault. I was overwhelmed with how I felt, and I blamed myself, but I didn't wanna be vulnerable in front of you, so I took everything out on you." Bakugou let the swollen tears in his eyes slither down his cheeks. "Don't start blaming yourself for not knowing what was going on. He didn't tell me, no matter how much I pried and waited. Only in one of our last conversations did he ever admit that he wanted to die. No one knew...what he really went through. So, oi. What's your story, Deku? I ain't askin' to judge—I'm asking to help."
Midoriya felt as though the maelstrom of emotion that surged through his body had ultimately numbed his senses as he loosely clung to his childhood friend. "You're still...blaming yourself, a-aren't you?" Half-conscious of the words spilling from his mouth, Midoriya felt like he was simply in a dream. "I-I'm...not mad at you, Kacchan. I don't even know what I'm feeling. It hurts...physically, but I still just can't believe it. I know what happened. I see him...right there. I know he...killed himself. B-But I just... I... It's so cruel that it doesn't feel real. Like...this has to be a dream I'll wake up from soon. But I know it's not. If I had just paid more attention...he'd be here. He'd be alive. He'd be happy. He..." Midoriya pursed his lips as Bakugou slowly shook his head.
"You gotta come to terms with this all, Deku," sighed Bakugou with solicitude emanating from his words. "Grief...sucks, b—"
While shaking his head, Midoriya interjected, "I-I'm...not grieving. I'm just trying t-to process this, my thoughts, and my own feelings." He lowered his head onto Bakugou's shoulder.
I know I could've saved him. I know I could've... If I hadn't been so selfish...
"I'll give you space to be with him and 'process' what happened, 'kay? But...I'll never forgive you if you do something stupid behind my back. He loved you, Deku. He fucking loved you...and he wanted you to live and survive through this to find happiness again. The only way yer gonna let either of us down...is if you choose to hurt yourself more." Bakugou loosely wrapped his arms around Midoriya before releasing the latter and turning around. "Oi. You need anything, just call me or come to my dorm, 'kay? See you tomorrow, Deku." With that, Bakugou's silhouette was swallowed up by the night as he slinked back into the dormitory.
Midoriya knelt down to the cold body of his boyfriend as flashing lights of red and blue approached U.A. "I love you... I never...told you that enough. I love you, Shouto. I don't know where you are, but don't worry about me. Rest, okay? It's okay... I-It's okay... I never thought I'd lose you like this, but knowing that everything we had suddenly vanished just like that... I just...my body aches, and my heart hurts, but I...don't really feel anything. Why? I'm such an emotional person... Why...don't I feel anything?" Midoriya's inky visage contorted with confusion. "You, me, everything we were...torn apart in an instant. A-All that's left...is my memories. But in those memories, you wanted me to be happy, alive, and okay.
"If that's all I have left of you...I'll let you see those dreams. Don't worry about me... I'll... I-I'll be okay. I want to end this all so much...but if I couldn't make you happy or okay while you were here with me, I'll give you something to smile at. I'll make sure your final wish comes true. No matter how much I want to die...I can't die before I want to live again. I can't die before I'm happy again. I can't die...before I know I've truly allowed you to rest in peace, Shouto. It's the least I can do now. Even if I can't see you anymore, I can see the last words you gave to us. Thank you, Shouto... When I see you again, I hope we're both smiling. This time...I want to see the real you, Shouto."
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and that is all. this definitely wasn't my best story, but i had the idea and wanted to write it. i know, i'm terrible at involving more than like four characters in a story. it's bad.
anyway. thank you for reading, and i hope you guys enjoyed. have a wonderful rest of your day/night.