§§Pamela.
She took in deep breaths and calmed down somehow.
"After the third time, Jake came to me and told me to accept the next proposal he would make. I knew he was going to make it even bigger than the last one he did. I argued with Jake, but he assured me, it was alright. He told me to 'just shut up and accept the damned man and his money,' his words not mine."
She tried moving her hand but the activity seemed strenuous for her. "And so I did. We went out and had sex-"
That thought made my heart ache, but I sat patiently and listened.
"I guess I was a fool, I wasn't wise enough to know that I was being used. We were both being used. When I ended the engagement, I went home to tell Jake, I was feeling guilty about promising Kyle a fake life, a family, kids I knew I couldn't give him. Jake got mad at me and hit me, then we reconciled with sex and his sweet words."
She continued. "Things got worse, there were nights he didn't come home, other nights he came home drunk and high. He never had a job, well at least one I knew about. We both deepened on my salary and after I got kicked out of the company, my whole life changed. He would beat me up and give me more pain than pleasure. Experiment with my body and hurt me more than I knew I could take."
She looked down. "You have to understand I loved him. It was my love for him that made me stick around and now-" Her voice cut off. She was having a weak moment. I dared not say anything.
"Then I found out he went into smuggling, drugs, illegal substances and he had been found out. Apparently, the money I had been getting helped to finance the operation and because I had stopped-"
"Things got hard between the two of you and he used you as his punching bag."
"I swear there is a knife besides me and if you dare interrupt me one more time, I will stab you. But yes, you are correct."
"I didn't find out who the man was not until the night of the incident. Ian came over and they broke into a fight. He had run bankrupt and his operation was falling to the ground. His new venture girl trafficking was found out and his investors were thrown in jail, he was lucky to have escaped. Quit staring and come help me, this pillow is uncomfortable."
I adjusted her body and head. She whispered a 'thank you' but I acted as if I heard nothing.
"I confronted Jake. It had all made sense the money or whatever material thing I had gotten from Kyle had been taken away from me going to God knew where. We lived in a dump. The crumpled apartment smelt like piss and weed. But he smoked, drank I was a fool."
She took a few moments to gain her breathing.
"It didn't go well. He hit me, pushed me to the floor and threw me on one of the glass tables. Then he got me and tied me to the chair and threw me down the stairs. I broke my neck but didn't die. I felt the wet foul stench of petrol on my body, and I was set aflame. I screamed for all I was worth. For few minutes I felt like I was in hell, I had that experience. I couldn't move, couldnt help myself, but all I could do was feel the pain."
I noticed the rushed breathing and the small stain of red on her side.
"Donna-"
"Let me finish." She gripped her side of the bed. One of the devices started beating very fast and I rose up.
"He dragged me out of the basement even though I still had flames on my body, tossed me into the car and headed into the dark night. I could see the apartment burn and the rest of the occupants rush out. He drove so fast I felt I was staring death in the eye. Then out of the blue-"
She coughed blood splattering across her face. Panic rose in me, I walked over to her side. The small remote that had the words NURSE was on the floor. I pressed it an uncountable number of times.
More blood spilled from her mouth, but she manged to talk.
"He pulled out a gun and shot himself. His blood splattering around my body and even in my mouth. His numb legs pressed on the gas and we ran straight into a-" She coughed again. Tears were starting to form in my eyes.
"You don't have to say more, Donna just rest please."
She smiled. "I have confessed my sins and prayed there is a place for me up above, if not then I go down below. Funny how I never believed in religion, but a kind priest came to me and told me I could be healed and all my sins could be forgiven. I watched him talk and heard him pray for me. My illness can never be treated by a doctor."
Her weak hands held mine. "I am dying Pamela; I have been dying for a while now. A hideous person, who would ever want me? I have worms coming out of my vagina. No, it is not an infection, my body has been decaying from the inside for a long time now. Jake caught it and I guess you helped Kyle prevent it to."
I looked at her shell socked. Blood was pouring out of her side. A nurse rushed past me. A doctor following.
"She cut her vein and pulled out the drip from her hand." A woman said.
But I stared back at Donna, the light leaving her eyes, the small tears accompanying the blood.
"You need to leave now please." A hand pulled me to the door.
"I waited for Kyle. I wanted to apologise but he never came. I doubt I would make it out alive, but do tell him I am sorry, and even though I hated you and still do, I believe you will make a perfect wife and-"
She sucked in a deep breath. The doctor was confused then turned her to the side. Shocked gasps escaped their lips. A knife was in her side the tip of it sticking out of the bandage on her stomach. How had I not noticed.?
"A suicide, she wants to kill herself."
"You will make him happy, a family, children-"
The door was closed on my face as they ran about trying to save her. I walked towards the exist knowing fully well I would be the last person to see her alive. How things had worked out differently?
I got into my car and pulled out the parking. The drive was short and her house was easy to find. I parked on the side of the street and hoped I wouldn't get a ticket.
I made my way towards the haze of lined apartments. She answered on the first ring.
"Wer ist da?"
"Es tut mir leid für die Störung, aber könnte ich etwas sagen? Darf ich mit Ihnen etwas sprechen?"
"Ich kaufe nichts."
"Ich verkaufe nichts."
There was an uncertainty but she called me up. I was greeted with the warmth of the heating system and the loud clatter and clangs of a child's plaything. A toddler sat in the middle of the room with her back to the scream as she hit on her toys, her happiness highlighting her tiny features. Her smile splitting.
On the furthest sat a child, one older about four or five. His eyes were glued to the screen. The woman stood by the door eyeing me but not saying anything. The little baby in her hands watching me curiously.
She looked at my shoes.
"Sorry." I murmured and bent down to remove them.
"I have children that crawl around the floor, they could easily pick anything off the ground and in their mouths." She led me to the kitchen where she offered me a cup of coffee.
"Johann." She called, and the first born came running into the kitchen. She handed her infant to her son. The boy carried the little baby with so much love and delicacy.
"He is the best big brother." The toddler came into the kitchen with huge smile on her face.
"This is Hannah, and the baby is Chloe." I waved my hand at her and she smiled even more.
"What can I do for you?"
"Do you know a man named Jake?" At that she froze and looked at the door to the kitchen.
"If you are here to take my boy, I will not allow you."
"I what, no, I beg your pardon." She seemed to have read my confusion.
"You are not a lawyer or from child services?" I shook my head no. She let go of the table and leaned in closer.
"Then why are you here?"
"You heard that he was in an accident, died a few days ago."
She nodded. "Yes, a car accident how unfortunate."
"You do not seem sorry." I commented as I sipped my tea. She shrugged her shoulders.
"Wasn't really a good man, he was always toxic." She placed her toddler to the ground, and she crawled back to the sitting room calling "Nana?"
"She means Johann." I nodded as I watched her go. Her big brother came and got her from the ground kissing her fat cheeks and rubbing her tummy. The baby giggled.
"Johann is his son?" It was a rude question, but I asked.
"Yes, he is." She sat still as she waited for me to finish up with my interrogation and leave. I could feel her discomfort, even I wouldn't want a stranger in my home.
"I am sorry for disturbing."
"Yes you said so."
"You broke up with him because he was toxic?"
She nodded. "That and he left me when I found out I was with child."
"I am sorry you went through a lot."
She brushed it off and stood up, pointing to a picture she said. "My husband helped me through it all." I nodded.
"In the last days before his death did he try to contact you?"
At that she turned around. "He tried all he could, he wanted me back and also our son, he was willing to accept my other two kids."
"But you told him you were not interested."
"I told him so, so did my husband, my family. We even had him reported and he got a restraining order. He didn't comply though."
"But for him to take your child he needed to be how should I put it?"
"Stable?" She completed for me.
"Yes that, but he wasn't."
I stood up to take my leave. "I am sorry about the intrusion."
"Are you the woman he ran off with? He had cheated on me, a woman Donna."
I shook my head no, a sad smile on my face. "She was also abused by him, and if there is a chance she will survive."
I headed for the door eager to pick up the call. "Jake committed suicide; it wasn't accident."
She nodded. "I know, he left this with me the night before the accident. It is an apology and the reasons as to why he wanted to take his life."
She handed me the paper. I nodded and told her my many thanks.
"Hello?"