Chapter 12
This is a joke.... Right? (Part 1)
>>Carter
Dear Reality,
I've been hurt again.
I've been used and mentally abused. I've been crying every night wondering 'Is it all going to end?' or ' When can I be happy again?' I feel so alone... I don't know what to do anymore and there's no one around. You're probably my only hope on advice, because I don't trust anybody anymore. They all hurt or stab me behind the back at the end of the day... they are the ones who are responsible for me being like this in the first place. Please help me. I want to know if I should just wait it out. Maybe things will get better... but I always end up crying in the end. What should I do? I'm so tired of this.
From: BOy>BlUe
"This sounds like lyrics to a song." I muttered re-reading the note Mrs. Jazz gave me this morning.
I've been staring at it for a while now, wondering how I was going to answer. I couldn't be my usual blunt self because this was more personal than any other Questions I've gotten, but being nice isn't my style either.
"Mr. Summers is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Mr. Donovan, my lunatic math teacher, spat in my direction in disgust. I could practically feel the snickers from the sadistic students I share a class with as they feed on me getting picked on by the most homophobic teacher at this school.
"No sir." I simply answered. I already got in trouble with him this year; I'm not doing it again.
"I hope you don't see Math as a joke, for this is something very essential in everyone's life. Even one like yours."
"I don't see Math as a joke Sir." I said.
"I hope so." He glared before returning back to the board filled with Matrices equations that I already understood. So I turned my attention back to the note.
'A joke huh.' I thought.
I brought out a pen and paper as I took out an empty sheet of paper to start with the reply. No one will notice, and Mr. Donovan can just assume that I'm writing down what he's explaining in the front of the class.
Dear BOy>BlUe
There are three types of Jokes.
The first are the ones that everyone laughs at. The one where something is actually funny. The one we crack up at just by remembering it. You laugh. And you laugh... and you laugh. Because at the time it's the most hilarious thing you've ever heard.
The second one was the one where someone makes a joke where the people around you laugh, but you don't find anything funny. That's the one you force yourself to chuckle awkwardly, but no one notices because they're still laughing.
The third is the most awkward kind. It's the one where people make a joke, but you either don't notice that it's supposed to be a joke, or it takes you a long while to actually get the joke.
What is my point to this?
What do all jokes have in common?
If you're told a funny joke, you laugh to tears. If you hear the same joke a second time, you might laugh again, but not as hard. You hear it a third time and all you do is smile. You keep on hearing the same joke and you stop laughing.
If you can't laugh at the same joke over and over again, why do you keep crying over the people who hurt you over and over again?
It's because you allow them to.
Don't let other people use you. Your human, not an object, and if someone is making you feel that way then you're not with the correct crowd. I can't tell you when it'll get better, because I don't. I can't tell you it will get better, because I'd be lying. You might think that your alone, but if you have family that you trust please tell them. If you had someone, anyone, that can listen please look for them. If you want, you can talk to me on a regular basis just to have someone to listen. I will make and exception with you and Answer more than once.
You want a Reality check? Then grow up and Respect yourself. Sometimes you're the only person that will.
I sighed. This guy needed to get help, and I'm not saying that to sound mean, but it's the truth. Having something like this wasn't uncommon to come to the 'Asking and Answer' Column of the paper. Last year there were a lot of people that went to 'Asking Margie' for some personal advice.
I hated the answers she gave.
They were either along the lines of 'Everything will be alright.' Or 'Of course he loves you.' Or something even more irritating like 'You'll be fine. I'm sure this will all be over soon.'
Liar.
She was way too nice with her answers, yet became one of the most famous sections in the paper for it. I guess giving people what they wanted would do that.
I couldn't do that.
Something you want isn't the same as something you need. The big difference is that one was preferred over the other. It's one of the reasons why I hated the truth, because even though people say they want it most of the times they're never really happy with the results.
"Mr. Summers!"
"Yes sir." I say flatly. What did I do now?
"Mr. Summers I called you twice. Twice. I'm really tired of you blanking out in my class. If you think you can just sit here and daydream like what I'm teaching is just a joke the door is right there." Mr. Donovan spats as half the classroom smirk in my direction like they were just waiting for a meteor to strike me down as others turned their heads the opposite direction, for this didn't concern them.
"I'm sorry sir." I say not meaning a word.
"Sorry? Is that all you have to say?"
"It's all I can say." Without getting my ass thrown out that is.
"That's all. You're sorry. You have nothing to say for yourself?"
"Not really." I could say where you could shove up your apology.
"Excuse me?"
"No sir." I say instead making his eyes narrow.
"Your already on very thin ice. Watch it." He warned.
I didn't reply. I just watched as he woke up a student in the front that had fallen asleep since the beginning of class. All he told that student was to get more sleep before coming to school. That person got advice; I got a warning how lovely.
I glanced towards the note that held the question.
Yep. Sometimes you're the only one that will respect yourself.
.................................................
"Oh that asshole." Genevieve growls.
"I know right." I chuckled at her angry expression. She looked as if she was planning a murder very calculative that I was sure she could get away with it. "Hey don't try anything next time you see him; you got a warning last time."
"I wish I didn't have Interact club that period, he would have heard my mouth cursing him out. He's just pissed off all the time because he's as small as a-"
"Woah, can we change the subject. I just want to have lunch peacefully, and not imagine something like that."
"Fine." She crossed her arms taking an irritated bite out of her sandwich, "I still hate him."
"I do too. So how'd the meeting go?"
"Boring as hell. I have to plan out how we're going to have the Halloween ball."
"Oh that thing again?"
"Yeah. We have less than three weeks, and we still don't have a theme for it. I'm going crazy. The Treasurer, Janice, wanted us to do a Disney themed Ball, and I was like Nah. It's our last year. I want to do something unique, or at leas- I don't know... I also want something that'll make you come with me."
"Good luck with that." I said twirling around my Ramen noodles.
"I still don't know how you eat that stuff."
"It's cheap. It's food. I'm not complaining."
"Whatever you say. I wish Mrs. Jazlyn was still here she'd understand my struggles and how real they are."
"Ouch."
"Mmm." She pointed her tongue out as I rolled my eyes at the gesture.
"If you can find a way for people to not know it's me then I might consider going."
"Ugh. You're impossible. Help me think of a theme then!"
"How about anonymous night; no one will know anyone if that's the case." I joked before taking a bite of my noodles.
"OH MY GOD!" Eve screamed making me jump in my seat a little. I was convinced this woman's a banshee; I have eternal bleeding in my ears to prove it. "You're a freaking Genius!" she jumps up. "A Masquerade Ball!"
"Come again? I think you busted my ear drums."
"I'll text you later! I need to tell the others what I have in mind." She rushed before flying out the door in haste as I stared towards the door.
"Okay... that just happened."
I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure what occurred just now before going back to my Ramen. I only had two more periods until the end of the day, and then I could give Mrs. Jazz the answer I had when she returned to school, since she wasn't in at the moment. I wanted this person to get answered as quickly as possible.
I know what it's like to feel alone; hopefully my answer will help, even if it's just a little. I've never noticed it until Eve came along, but I do know one thing.
No one deserved to feel that way.
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Bello y'all!
Yeah... I'm kinda busy... again Saturday so I'm giving you guys this today! Yay! I got a singing contest to go to, and I'm nervous as hell. Wish me luck!
Oh and guess what? There will be another update on Sunday since this has a part two, so look forward to that my Jellos!
Thank you guys so much for reading! I've hit 5.5K now and it's awesome to know that people enjoy what I write. Thank you guys so much y'all are beautiful!
So as usual tell me your thoughts on how you think the story is going so far. Who is you favorite character and what you like about him or her. Tell me I won't bite... much. ;)
Love y'all! See ya Sunday :)
TripleJ