'Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward'
Brandon Sanderson
The Squad - and de facto member Tokoyami - had met at their favourite diner after school so that Katsuki could catch them up on his phone call with Yagi. They were all in agreement that it sounded more like he was desperately heartbroken than anything else, while they shared a plate of fries and drank their sickly sweet milkshakes - Except Katsuki and Kiri who had water, because they mostly eat clean for the sport; that and the fact that Katsuki isn't really a fan of sweet shit.
Tokoyami had made a note of the name 'Aizawa' and the word 'precinct' while Katsuki was talking, and he was staring at it intently while the others blathered on, switching to talking about some end of term party Denki was planning.
He pulled out his phone to do a quick search for something he thought would push them closer than they'd ever been to helping Inko.
"And Sero, your mum will buy us the booze right? My mum said if she finds out I had a party in her house she'll beat me with her slipper." Denki frowned as Tokoyami tapped away on his phone.
"Sure man," Sero nodded, as Mina cut in, "Thank god some of our moms are cool."
Katsuki rolled his eyes, "Well I mean it's not great parenting dipshits, but fuck it, if it means we can blow off some steam then I'm glad the idiot's mum is 'cool'." He emphasised the sarcasm in 'cool' and scoffed at Sero's mock offence.
"Hey, Moma Sero provides a safe space for all the children!" He laughed, chasing his straw with his tongue, making Denki giggle despite he himself having a strawberry milkshake mustache from where he'd gulped at the frothy head of his drink - he argued it was the best bit of the milkshake, and he didn't wanna let it go to waste at the bottom of his glass.
Katsuki was shaking his head with a faint smile curling the corner of his lips when Tokoyami slid his phone into the blond's view.
"The closest precinct to us," he paused as everyone stopped talking to listen to him, "not that long ago they broke a major case involving a missing child. I thought I recognised the name. 'Aizawa'." He nodded back down to his phone.
Katsuki read the article in front of him, 'Detective Aizawa led the case...'.
"Fuck, so he was telling the truth." Katsuki grumbled, scrolling through the article to see if there was any other helpful information.
"He investigates missing persons cases. I think it's safe to posit that at some point Mr. Yagi took this as a missing persons case to the police. If this was indeed what occurred and Aizawa investigated it, he clearly found that nothing was untoward. We found no media coverage of it, nor any missing person reports."
Tokoyami's face darkened, anger pinching his brows, "Obviously he was terribly wrong."
Kiri took the phone to read the article for himself, "Then what now? I mean, we can probably presume Yagi didn't do it if he reported her missing, right?"
He didn't look sure of his statement, and neither did anyone else.
Tokoyami shook his head, "It could have been a ruse to throw off the police. Maybe he thought reporting her missing himself would be less suspicious."
Kiri hummed in thought, "Then what now?" He asked no one in particular,feeling lost on how to proceed.
Tokoyami caught Katsuki's crimson eyes, a fire glinting in the darkness of his own red irises.
"It may sound crazy, but we're not going to get far if we don't start making bigger moves. I say we approach Aizawa, tackle this head on."
His voice was low and Katsuki hung his head in thought - the goth had more balls than he'd thought, he could respect that. We're they really gonna do this though? Were they really gonna go running around like the fucking Scooby Gang and bother a real detective with their ghost problems. He would definitely think they were 'meddling kids' and that they were fucking loco. But wasn't Katsuki the one who said hey had to see it through? And his friends had all stood by him, they had stayed.
He looked around the booth, catching each of their eyes in turn, seeing nothing but determination on each of his friends' faces - Kiri even gave him a little nod of assurance. Fuck if that didn't make something clench in Katsuki's heart, that they were all with him like this. Not that he'd ever tell them of course, but he couldn't have asked for better friends, friends who were sticking with him even after he brought his problem to their doors.
He snapped his eyes back to Tokoyami, clenching his jaw to steady himself. He was seeing this through regardless, but hell if it wasn't good to have the Squad with him.
"Then we'll try to see this Aizawa fucker at the weekend, and we'll tell him what we know. Worst that can happen is he thinks we're bat-shit crazy and tells us to fuck off." He leant back against the both, playing with his empty glass, "Tch, maybe we'll learn something new."
Tuesday rolled into Wednesday, and Thursday came by without so much as a peep from Inko. He continued to greet her and say goodbye to her when he left for the day. He'd even sat cross-legged on his floor on Tuesday night and talked her through what they'd learned, and what their plans were. He did feel momentarily deranged when he realised what he must look like, but thankfully Katsuki wasn't one for being self-conscious.
He was sending Deku a 'Good Morning' text in reply to the greenette's ehtusiastic 'Good morning Kacchan!' while he ate his breakfast on Thursday morning. It had become tradition for Izuku to start their conversation when it was safe to do so, and Katsuki would just take it from there. They were keeping up their flirting, banter and casual conversation, and Katsuki was genuinely proud of himself for abstaining from any sexual actitivites over the last couple of weeks.
In all honesty, yeah he wanted to get his dick wet, who didn't? But he could go without until he could go that far with Deku... and oh boy was he looking forward to when that day came. He'd thought about that in the shower a few times already. He'd thought about it with such intensity that he'd definitely gasped out the boy's name in shallow breaths as the scalding water pattered against his flesh.
He was pulled away from his less than innocent thoughts when his mother came into the kitchen carrying a long flat box.
"Morning Brat!" She smirked, tussling Katsuki's hair on her way around the breakfast bar.
She was already dressed in a fashionable beige pants suit, ready to start her day in the office.
Katsuki grunted in response, standing to pull on his jacket and beanie from where they sat on the counter.
"Oi! Don't ignore me kid," She scowled at him, while cutting open the box, "Would it kill you to greet your mother?"
She placed the box's lid to one side, reaching under the counter to retrieve a glass vase. Inside the box sat an array of roses, each sporting their own unique swirls of reds, oranges and yellows. She watched Katsuki staring at the flowers, realisation dawning across his features as he accepted that he could no longer avoid asking his mother the questions he needed answers to. He pretty much avoided his parents at all costs. They got along well enough when they had to but they were hardly ever around, and Katsuki had always been more than a little bitter about that... resentful even. He knew their careers were important to them, but what about him? What about his emotional and physical wellbeing? There was a reason he was touch starved and seeking intimacy in all the wrong places, and having knowledge of his own weaknesses didn't seem to make it any easier to combat them. Izuku's freckled face and bright smile flashed through his mind. That kid had been through more shit than Katsuki ever had, but he was still open and teaming with life. It only made Katsuki want to be closer to him, to bask in his warmth, to follow him like the head of a flower follows the heat of the sun.... But right now he had to get this interaction over with.
The Old Hag didn't seem concerned that he hadn't replied and was busying herself with cutting the stems of the roses, slotting them one at a time into the vase with her aesthetic eye.
"They're beautiful aren't they." She mused, voice softening as she brushed the petals of a particularly vibrant orange rose open, "Your father sent them to me."
She continued to brush along the petals with her fingers as she met Katsuki's gaze, their red eyes mirrored one another.
"I know we fight like cat and dog- Well, I fight him," She chuckled, "but we really do love each other. Maybe a little too intensely if I'm honest. That's how it's always been."
Why was she telling him this now?
"We love you just as much, you know?" She stilled, drinking in her son's passive expression. On the inside Katsuki was screaming - If they loved him they'd have been around more - but he didn't want to do this shit. Not right now. She didn't know him, not really. Fuck, she probably didn't even know he was Bi, and she definately didn't know he spent a big portion of his childhood talking to a fucking shadow on his wall.
"Did you two know the people who lived here before us?" He asked flatly, voice devoid of all emotion.
She shook her head slightly, blinking, no doubt experiencing whiplash from the sudden change in conversation.
"Um, no can't say we did," She placed her hands flat on the counter, arching a brow at him, "Why Brat? What's this about?"
"Just a project for school." He shrugged, fisting his hands into his jean pockets, "So you don't know anything about who owned this house?"
"Sorry kiddo, never met 'em. It was all done via the realtors." She looked back to the bouquet as she struggled to recollect - She wanted to help Katsuki with his project if she could, she really did. This was about the longest, most normal, conversation they'd had in a while and she was really trying to be helpful.
"I think it was a couple with a kid. The room upstairs that's now yours, it was decorated like a nursery." She nodded, "Yeah, I reckon that had to be it, but when we viewed the place it was already empty. Is that helpful?"
She tilted her head thoughtfully, "What's the project for?"
"Just a research prompt is all." Katsuki answered, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was probably Deku, he should wrap this up so he could get to school and see the cute little shit before class.
"Do you know if there were azaleas here when we moved in?"
"Ha!" His mothered snorted, turning to run water into the vase of flowers, "To say how much your dad drones on about his fucking garden you'd have thought you'd have paid some attention."
"For fuck sake, Old Hag," he groaned, "spit it out already."
"Watch your tone, Brat!" She scolded before raising her arm to point through the kitchen window, "We still have them in the back garden. Of course they don't flower in the winter, but they're hardy..."
Katsuki had stopped listening as she continued on about the garden, and which plants were here before they arrived. Shit, she was right, his dad had probably mentioned this before and he just wasn't listening.
His heart was in his throat as he looked out at the currently flowerless plants, the dark green leaves burned brown at the edges by the harsh cold of winter. Inko has specifically mentioned these when they'd asked where her body was. He instantly felt sick, a nauseating swirling in his guts as his hand swept up to clutch the front of his t-shirt. Goosebumps fell across the flesh of his arms and neck, a cold sweat pricked his forehead... Why would she mention those flowers if she weren't leading him to the ones in his own backyard - in her backyard. She'd been on the porch that night after the seance, she'd been trying to tell them then. Had she been that close this whole time? Had she been mere feet from his house for all these years?
"Hey? Hey?" His mother's hand was suddenly on his shoulder shaking him gently and he blinked up at her, a shiver running down his back and away beneath the collar of his shirt.
"You look ill all of a sudden," His mother looked genuinely concerned, as she placed the back of her hand momentarily against his forehead, "You feel like you've got a chill. Make sure you stay wrapped up today Kat. You gonna be ok?"
He made no attempt to shrug her off, in fact he didn't mind it at this moment, her hand grounding him in the present and the nostalgic familiarity of her hold as it pressed into his shoulder.
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Don't make a fuss." He scoffed, making light of the earth shattering realisation he'd just had that there might be a fucking body buried in their garden. The possibility was too overwhelming to be ignored.
He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in through his nose before meeting her gaze.
"I'm fine." He repeated.
She gently squeezed his shoulder, "I know brat, but if you're ever, you know, not fine, you can tell me." She smiled faintly at him before releasing him to look at her watch.
"We both better get a move on huh?"
"Alright Hag, I'm moving."
Just as he'd thought the text was from Deku, and once he arrived at school he made plans to catch up with him after practice that night. He hoped they might get some alone time - not for anything too seedy, just to hang out with Deku without his idiot friends.
He also texted the group chat about the conversation he had with his mother, and his theory about Inko's body. Let's just say there were a lot of F bombs dropped in the chat by the Squad members. Kiri was adamant that they needed to tell Aizawa this news, but how the fuck would he explain his reasoning - Detective, there's a body buried in my garden. A ghost told me, I fucking swear. He'd come to that bridge when he got there. For now he buried his face into his textbook, eagerly awaiting practice so he could see the freckled fucker again.
Practice was harsh. The coach, lovingly nicknamed Hound Dog for his dogged determination to whip them into shape, was really putting them through their paces today. Katsuki was filthy and his elbow was scraped up pretty badly from where he'd hit the deck after a particularly ferocious tackle. However, all the mud, grime and fatigue seemed well worth it knowing that Deku was up in the stands watching them on the field... Watching him. He didn't think he was imagining it now. He was certain that his lens was trained on him more than it wasn't.
When he jogged over to the edge of the field, removing his helmet, Deku was already rushing down the stands to greet him. Sero and Kiri were lagging behind him talking to the coach for one reason or another, not at all to give Katsuki time to speak to Midoriya, and that was fine by Katsuki.
"You were great Kacchan!" He beamed, that one irritatingly cute curl flopping across his eyeline as he came to a stop in front of Katsuki.
Oh how the quarterback wanted to reach out and use that curl as an excuse to slowly draw his hand down the nerd's face. Instead he caught his breath and looked back into those wide green eyes.
"Of fucking course I was, nerd," he smirked, "you get some good shots on that thing?"
He pointed with his helmet to the bulky digital camera Deku was holding, the black strap slipped around his pale neck above his scarf, where he knew the now yellowing bruise was hidden.
Deku's face flushed the tiniest amount, the tips of his eyes and cheekbones taking on a rosy hue not caused by the cold.
"I dunno, I'll check when I review them later." He shrugged, glancing away.
Katuski stepped closer, softly hitting the side of Izuku's thigh with his helmet, "Bet you've got tons of great shots of my ass, huh nerd?" He said playfully.
Deku's lips parted slightly in a soundless gasp, the tint spreading to his round cheeks before he laughed out lighter than air, "Yep, you've got me Kacchan. When I submit my application to UA my portfolio is going to be ninety percent your ass and ten percent shots of the floor, you know, from where I was drooling too much to focus"
The sarcasm was thick in his voice, his eyes glinting, but hell Katsuki had a chance to push this in the direction he wanted it to go. The blond took another step forward, heart beating in his ears as he was nearly flush with the nerd. He looked down to the camera's darkened display screen.
"No drool on the screen Deku," He said leaning over it, head inches from the other's, "You cleaned the evidence up well."
He released a long drawn out sigh, "I mean, if you wanted pictures of my ass, all you had to do was ask. I'd be happy to supply ones with a little less coverage." He allowed the last word to roll slowly from his tongue, purposefully looking up into Deku's flushed face from his hunched position.
"I uh..." He'd finally done it, he'd flustered the nerd to the point that he couldn't speak, he'd- Deku licked those pillowy lips of his, "That's ok Kacchan, but I wouldn't mind a live show sometime." Then he winked. The fucker actually winked...Cheeky little....
The sheer audacity of this guy. Katsuki wanted to be mad at him for not melting until he was a puddle at Katsuki's feet like everyone else the blond flirted with... But he just couldn't be. If anyone else said that to him they'd either be laid out cold right now courtesy of Katsuki's right fist, or he'd already be inviting them back to his place to resolve the blatant sexual tension. Fuck, he wanted that with Deku.
He wanted more than just that though. He wanted dates, chaste kisses, and then heated make-outs. He wanted to hold him and take him away from all the shit that bared down on his daily existance, especially his fucking peice-of-shit dad. And yet, part of Katsuki also wanted Deku to do the same for him, to hold him when shit got too heavy, to know all his dark secrets and fears. How could he want that with someone he'd only known a few weeks? Sure, he'd watched him - almost obsessively - but until recently he'd never made a move. Deku, Izuku, was too good for him, and he sure as shit wasn't gonna cower or melt under Katsuki the way he thought he wanted him too... but now in that moment, with the burning glint searing through Deku's otherwise tranquilly green eyes, Katsuki knew that wasn't what he wanted at all. He wanted Izuku's strength, determination, and even his terminally fucking delighful attitude. He wanted someone who challenged him and he could tell Deku would give him that. Was there even any point in fighting the pull towards him anymore? It seemed pretty fucking futile if he was honest. Inevitable even.
They were still standing inches from each other, Katsuki was leaning slowly forward to close the gap when Deku took a large step backwards, face still flushed and eyes large. Katsuki almost reeled forward into the space he'd been occupied, catching himself and leaning back to consider Deku with a frown.
"Uh, I'm sorry Kacchan, it's not that I don't want to, it's just..." his eyes flitted around the field and he seemed to growl at himself in irritation, "God knows how many people could've just seen us."
He rubbed his face with his hands as the quarterback's eyes grew instantly wide... because he's a fucking idiot. He took a step back from the greenette, giving him space to breathe, "Shit. Fuck. Deku- I- Fuck, I didn't think." His anger at himself simmered below the surface of his skin.
Katsuki clenched his jaw, looking around the field. There were a few people on the top of the bleachers way off, and the coach with Sero and Kiri back out on the field. Apart from that there were no other eyes on them that he could see.
"You're good, Deku," he said, returning his gaze to the greenette who was still glancing around cautiously, "There's no fucker here." He smiled softly before continuing, although it felt a little foreign on his face, "For what it's worth I'm not sorry. I want to kiss you and I know you wanna kiss me too, nerd. Maybe not here, but we're hanging out tonight right?"
Deku let out a short sharp laugh, "I'm still not fucking you Kacchan!"
Katsuki opened his mouth to protest, but Deku cut him off, "But, I guess I could allow you a kiss or two."
A smirk was settling on Katsuki's face, a warm feeling spreading through his guts as he heard Kiri and Sero talking as they approached.
"'Sup bros?" Kiri grinned, sensing the energy between the two.
"Deku's gonna hang with me, you fuckers can find your own way home." Katsuki huffed, getting straight to the point. Standing around with these idiots was eating into his time with Deku and Katsuki didn't even know what he'd told his dad yet. He mentally scolded himself, that should've been the first thing he asked.
"Woah, sorry Bakubro, didn't realise you'd replaced your best pals!" Sero jibed, elbowing Katsuki's side as he laughed.
Of course the boys knew that Izuku was gay and Katsuki was smitten with him, but they couldn't just say that when he hadn't directly told them, so they played dumb.
"I didn't mean to intrude guys!" Deku said, a little panicked, hands flying out to wave away any offense he may have caused.
"He's just joking with ya Midobro," Kiri said, smiling as he shook his head, his red spikes drooping with sweat, "He's all yours. Sero's mum's gonna take us for fried chicken...man, I never get to eat that shit." He said dreamily.
Izuku laughed, shuffling his feet as Katsuki began to walk away. "Come on, nerd." He said, gesturing for the greenette to follow in the direction of the locker room.
Deku refused to enter the locker room with Katsuki and the others, instead he loitered outside bundled up in his winter coat and wooly hat, looking through the pictures from today's practice. Katsuki had the quickest shower he'd ever had in his damn life, towelled himself off and shoved his clothes back on, pulling his beanie down over his ears to cover his hair which was still damp in his haste to see Izuku.
"What's the plan Kacchan?" The greenette beamed when Katsuki stepped out, the skies already dark as winter pressed itself on the days.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, "Let's hit the mall or somethin', plenty to do there nerd. We can grab some food too if you want. My treat."
Deku's smile grew, if that were even possible, and he started to follow Katsuki, their arms brushing as they walked side-by-side.
"Sounds great!"
A few beats of comfortable silence passed as Katsuki watched the small puffs of air condense as they left Izuku's mouth.
"Are you sure it's safe for you to be out with me Deku? I don't want you getting-" he hesitated, choosing his words carefully - Izuku wasn't weak, he knew that, "I don't wanna cause you trouble."
"Don't worry Kacchan. He's gotta work late tonight. As long as I'm back before he is, all he'll do is give me stink-eye and try to exert control at home. He'll check my phone and stuff but I'll be safe. I promise. He can't watch me all the time, and he knows it."
He let out a small humourless chuckle, as they reached Katsuki's car, "I can see it, when he confronts me about stuff. That realisation that he can't make me do what he wants anymore." His soft face turns pensive, one hand on the passenger door of the car, "He looks both terrified and sad. That's strange, huh? How someone can be sad that they're gonna lose you after hurting you for so long."
Katsuki didn't know what to say to that, but he knew what he felt. Heartbroken for Deku. One parent abandoned him and the other may as well have. It was wholly shocking to Katsuki that he'd turned out as well rounded as he had. And then there was Katsuki with two parents who might have been shit at communicating with their son, were career driven... but they always tried with him, and at least they were still around... at least they loved him. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew it was true.
Deku must've sensed that the quarterback didn't know how to respond because he pulled a large smile back onto his face, eyes closing into crescent moons, cheeks round and cherry red, "Come on Kacchan, time's a-wastin'! You gotta get me home by nine."
The mall was busy for a Thursday evening, but with the holidays around the corner everyone was clearly scrambling to buy gifts and festive themed shit. Unsurprisingly, Katsuki wasn't that bothered about Christmas. It was usually the time of year where his family came home, extra relatives turned up for their annual visit, and they all played happy families - ok, it wasn't all bad, Katsuki may have smiled once or twice at his parents' antics on Christmas day.
Izuku, on the other hand, clearly loved it. He practically radiated joy as they wandered the mall, giddily pointing out the hanging ornaments, and the stupid - and in Katsuki's opinion, frankly terrifying - anamatronic grotto display. The toy displays in the windows and the Christmas themed All Might merch in the comic store caught the nerds eye too, gushing over them like some love sick puppy with an 'Aren't they amazing Kacchan!' that made Katsuki's shrivelled heart grow three sizes.
They played games in the arcade and both quickly realised they were extremely competitive. Katsuki won on the shooting range, and scoring hoops against each other was a close call for the blond, but Deku kicked his ass at Dance Dance Revolution with a grace he didn't know the nerd possessed. Whenever their glances held too long, or they brushed against one another as they bit out flirtatious banter, Katsuki could feel his cheekbones flush... and the worst thing was, he was starting not to care.
Deku was like sunshine, warm, comforting, and Katsuki wanted to lay back and bask in his glow. Take in all of the sweet nourishment he could get; the light airy giggles that fell effortlessly from his pink lips, the soft touches and playful fluttering glances, his open lively nature, his somehow still positive outlook.... Katsuki wanted it all, and he let it wash over him, seeping into his bones until the warmth was burning him from the inside out. Until it was no longer warm light from a star billions of light-years away, but a heartbeat away, his soul pressed against the scorching surface of the sun and set alight with desire. He needed this, he wanted it, and as the evening waned all of Deku's actions pointed towards him wanting the same thing.
Their last stop was an ice cream parlour, Deku insisting he wasn't hungry but that he could go for something sweet. Damn nerd and his sweet tooth, how the hell did he stay in shape? Katsuki could already see he'd have to watch the little shit and make sure he didn't overdose on sugary crap - Not that he really cared. He'd buy Deku every ounce of ice cream in the country if it made him happy.
Deku got a twin cone because he couldn't choose just one flavour; mint choc-chip on one side, caramel on the other. Katsuki got blood orange flavoured shaved ice, tart and refreshing. They walked back to Katsuki's car, and ate sitting in the front seats with the heating on high.
"Don't fucking drip that shit in my car Deku." Katsuki warned, gnawing a chunk off of his shaved ice.
Who'd have thought icy treats on a frigid winter day would've been a good idea. Fuckin' Deku that's who. Deku, who was laughing as his pink tongue came out to lick a running drip of caramel from the cone's rim, the smooth surface of his tongue tracing the contours of the cone before retreating back into the warm wetness of his mouth. Katsuki swallowed, and he swallowed hard. The warmth on his face was back with a vengeance.
"Okay Kacchan, jeez. I'll be careful, promise," He grinned, and there was his tongue again, lapping at the mint side this time... Katsuki spent a moment too long staring - was he pulling this shit on purpose? But when he raised his gaze to Deku's he was nearly cross-eyed looking intently at his ice cream and the quarterback couldn't help but chuckle.
"You're fuckin' wierd Deku."
The greenette shrugged, pulling off his hat in the now too-warm car, "Well, clearly you like weird then don't you Kacchan."
"Sassy little shit aren't you?" He smirked, downing more shaved ice, if only to cool off his own burning face and smoldering desire, and stopping him from lunging for the nerd and taking him then and there on the cool black leather of his pride and joy.
"I have to be." He hums, finishing his mint ice cream and moving back over to the last of the sickly sweet caramel, "I think people look at me and think I'm soft. I hate that. I know I'm strong. Determined. Yeah, maybe a little too kind hearted but I have to let myself trust people or I'd be alone with no one but him...."
He trailed off, and Katsuki found himself turning and leaning forward, pacing a hand gently on Deku's knee. He flinched slightly before placing his own hand over Katsuki's. Deku was soft to look at, but he wasn't weak, Katuski knew that now.
"From what I've seen you've got a whole lotta people who give a shit about you nerd."
Izuku had also turned in his seat and was leaning in, the knee their hands were resting on now pulled up, foot resting on the leather between his thighs.
"I know Kacchan, it makes me... overwhelmed sometimes I guess. To know that blood doesn't mean everything. I can make my own family." He matched Katsuki's gaze, and the blond can't help but ask -
"Why've you never reported him? Rang the police? Told a neighbour? Anything?" He knows he sounds a little desperate, so he coughs to cover it.
He can't help but think that Izuku could've ended up just like Inko, dead at the hands of someone who was supposed to care for them, love them. God, it makes him angry, it makes him boil and not in the fevered pleasant way Izuku makes him feel. It churns and chars his insides.
"You know if I report him and if they believe me, if they throw his ass in jail, or move me out of the home... If any of that happens -'' He screws his eyes shut, as if trying to block out the mental images those possibilities conjure, "I'm not eighteen yet Kacchan, and I don't have any family. I'd be put into care, or some kind of halfway home, and everything that's mine would be in the care of the state. Look at how messed up my life is Kacchan, imagine what some of the kids in those places are gonna be like..."
His expression darkened, his eyes falling to his lap, "...Imagine what some of the adults there get away with."
Fuck. Katsuki didn't want to imagine any of those things, they made blood roar in his ears and bile rise up his throat .
"You know, you think it would be easy," he continued, gaze flickering back to Katsuki, searching his crimson eyes as if checking he can trust him with this, "hating him I mean, but it's not. I have good memories too, from when I was younger, when he made an effort to cheer me up after he'd torn me down. As I got older I stopped letting him make it up to me. I started getting bitter and angry. Gosh, it's so tiring being angry all the time, you know?"
And Katsuki did know. He spent a lot of his time feeling that way. Different reasons, same feelings. He nodded slowly, somehow closer to Deku's face, glowing in the warm tones of the car's interior lights.
"I hate him, I do. He's an abusive piece of shit, but he's my Dad too. How do you reconcile those two things?" His eyebrows pinched, "I'm not expecting you to have the answer or anything, it's just- that's why I try so hard to stay open, to stay happy, with everyone else. I don't wanna lose that part of myself."
There were small pools forming across his waterline and he sighed, tilting his head back to fend them off.
"Ah, sorry-"
"Don't ever fucking apologise for that shit Deku. I fucking mean it."
Katsuki reached forward without thinking, resting his hand along Izuku's cheek and running a calloused thumb across it. Deku's eyes blew wide, all vibrant green tones with watery edges. He let his eyes flutter closed tilting slightly into Katsuki's touch and just as the blond decided he was gonna kiss the fucker his eyes snapped open and something had changed in them.
They were alight, a spark flickering in the depths of a green forest....
....And suddenly Katsuki wasn't the one in control anymore.
Izuku surged forward, his hand leaving Katsuki's to wrap around the nape of Katsuki's neck, pulling him in needily. Katsuki meets him with just as much desire, one hand squeezing Deku's knee, his fingernails biting into the fabric of his jeans. His other hand blindly deposits his cup of shaved ice in the cup holder - hoping it actually sat up right or he'd have a fucking mess to clean up - and runs it up to card fingers through soft green curls as their lips finally meet.
It's not a soft kiss by any means. It's fevered and far too forceful. Desperate. He can feel Izuku's hot breath flutter across his lips whenever they part, and he makes him gasp when he slides his tongue into his open mouth. It's everything Katsuki wanted. He didn't care that they nipped each other a little, or that their teeth clacked together, or the thin layer of saliva coating his lips. This was Deku, he was kissing Izuku. The one he actually wanted to do more than just kiss and fuck, and have scream his name. Sure those things too, but those things were just part of the whole. The whole that included dorky hero fanboying, and wondrous delight about bullshit things, and ice cream in the fucking winter.
Katsuki's heart roared with adoration as he plundered Izuku's mouth again, diving deeper with each new exploration and earning hums and moans of satisfaction which vibrated against him. His chest was swelling with everything he felt, wanted, needed from this boy trapped in his hold, and his head was full of Deku, Deku, Izuku...
Izuku tasted like cool mint and saccharine sweet caramel. He smelt like clean laundry and fresh cut grass. Katsuki wanted to inhale him, and he pressed himself forward, over the centre aisle, hand slipping along the inside of Izuku's thigh and up to follow the seam of his jeans. Izuku didn't move to stop him, only gripped tighter to Katsuki as the heel of his hand slipped lower on the greenette's crotch, meeting smooth leather and....
Katsuki pulled away sharply with a wet snack of lips and a narrowed confused gaze drawing in his brows.
"What the fuck-"
He glanced down at the sticky stain on Izuku's crotch, and watched as it dripped onto the leather beneath him. Izuku's face was bright red, his eyes half-lidded as he shook his head to clear his blissful gaze and followed Katsuki's eyeline.
"Oh- oh no! I'm so sorry Kacchan!" He rambled, face darkening a few more shades.
Katsuki caught the offending object from Izuku's free hand. The hand that had been aimlessly hovering the whole time holding a now soggy cone, melted caramel ice cream dripping through the cracked tip of the now soft wafer.
"I asked you to do one fuckin' thing Deku." He growled lowly, but his slight smirk gave him away.
Deku's outstretched hand was sticky with melted ice cream and he held it aloft looking apologetically at Katsuki with big green eyes.
Katsuki rolled down his window and tossed the cone - some pigeons will eat it or some shit - and turned back to Izuku, leaning into his space.
"You want me to lick that clean for you I-zu-ku." He teased, eyebrows raised as his lips curled. Fact is, he fucking would too, if he ever let him.
He giggled that laugh, the one that made Katsuki feel weightless and breathy, "I think I'll be- oh shit!"
The blond followed Deku's gaze to the dashboard, the time lit up and caused Katsuki's eyes to widen.
"Fuck! Another time nerd." He grinned, planting a kiss in Izuku's lips and turning to start the car. "Seatbelt on Deku, we gotta fucking move it."
And Izuku laughed. And Katsuki did too. And they both forgot for now about the darkness waiting for them in their homes. The beatings. The monster. The shadow... and the possibility of a body in the garden.