What A Feeling - One Direction. BSL/Speech-Sign.
Harry has been in scary situations here and there. As a child, he didn't hear a lot of the world and the little he could hear were dull buzzing sounds that never helped him when danger came calling.
He was an adventurous little boy with soft honey blonde hair and curious eyes that stared at a world that wasn't ready to accommodate him.
Anne and Gemma were extremely protective of the silent boy who found his voice at the shy age of two going on three.
It wasn't the voice they expected but a diagnosis of profound hearing loss was enough to comfort their worries.
This never stopped Harry from being a ball of joy, charm and pure kindness. He was a boy that loved his cartoons and moved his mouth exactly like his big sister did whenever she spoke.
He just never heard the words to get them right.
Harry was never shy to express himself with his voice or enjoy his young life.
Some situations terrified him as a teenager and adulthood brought a different baggage of fears.
Harry entered his shell and stayed there till he crossed paths with the endearing Blue.
Blue snuck her way into his heart and they helped each other open up to a beautiful way waiting for them. They've experienced fears and losses together.
Their little life is something they never thought was possible for them and right now they're getting ready to usher in even more new life.
Harry panics as he rushes into the living area that's been set up for a home delivery. His eyes move from the licensed doula to Ma and finally lands on her.
There she is, the woman of his dreams and the love of his life. Beautiful Blue is wearing his t-shirt and squatting with her hands grabbing onto her mother's supportive arms.
Blue's curly hair is damp from sweat and possibly tears, and she's repeatedly puffing out short breaths as the doula instructs.
The doula speaks and signs at the same time, keeping Harry engaged in the process.
Harry's heart breaks as he catches Blue's eyes and notes the tears clouding her deep brown eyes. He wants to take the pain away and make her comfortable.
Right now, he has been instructed to change into something way more delivery friendly and he's ready to support his partner as they bring in new life. Or rather, lives.
When she manages to snap her head up and catch his eye contact, she forces a smile his way.
"Harry," she cries out.
This doesn't register and he panics, turning to the Doula.
"Come on, she needs you," the doula urgently speaks and signs.
Harry hurries over to where Ma is holding her crying daughter and they slowly swap positions, with Harry letting her hold onto him. He can see that she's crying and he worries about how serious this must be.
The vibrations of her crying are just against his chest and he grows emotional. One thing he absolutely hates is Blue crying or being helpless.
"Your children are killing me," Blue chokes out, pressing her forehead into his chest as she tries not to cry.
The doula translates with a smile and includes her own instruction.
"I need you to encourage her, can you do that?" she asks, keeping her nurturing smile.
Harry calmly nods and realises he cannot move his hands to speak. He exhales and gently brings a hand to softly rub Blue's lower back.
Blue slowly hums as she enjoys the sensation and Ma continues assisting the doula with setting up. They turn on candles and play soothing music as instructed by Blue. She had a playlist ready for this moment.
Even Mango the cat is ready to assist and be there for them, as she gently watches from a corner.
"Do you want a sip of water, baby?" Ma asks, filled with worry.
"No mama," Blue groans.
This makes Harry look at Ma with a confused look, completely missing the question and she panics.
"Wa-ter," the woman enunciates and also points at him.
"No," he softly mouths and shakes his head.
"Hmnnnn," Blue slowly raises her head and maintains eye contact with her person.
"You...okay?" he simply mouths without his voice, hoping she gets it.
"No," she mutters, her eyes getting a little heavy.
The doula moves closer and gently touches Blue's waist, she starts massaging her waist down to her thigh.
Like magic, Blue starts to feel a sensation like she's never felt and it's almost ticklish at some point. With the music playing, she relaxes into Harry and rests her head against his chest.
Harry can feel her heavy breathing is slowing down and he chooses to believe this is a good thing.
The doula slowly nods in understanding as she aids Blue's legs to spread apart and she takes an extensive look.
"How are we looking?" Ma asks.
"I need our mummy here to start preparing to push," the doula says with a smile and signs at Harry.
This makes him smile and eagerly nod in agreement.
"What do you need me to do?" he manages to ask, not disturbing Blue's position.
"Daddy needs to support mummy, you have to cheer her on, okay?" the woman explains.
With her back to Harry and feeling extra comfortable, Blue feels a shoot of painful contraction and she yelps.
"I don't want to change my position," she grabs Harry's hand as she speaks.
"She's not changing her position, so we all have to get creative with communication here," the doula explains to everyone.
"And I'm the most useless person here, my BSL lessons just got to restaurants and road directions," Ma looks at everyone, feeling helpless.
"That's alright. We'll be fine once our babies are here," the doula giggles after translating to Harry and getting in position for birth.
"I feel it, I feel it," Blue steadies her voice and exhales.
"Okay mama, let's push," the doula instructs, signing it to Harry.
After that, she adjusts Blue without changing her position and this makes the new mummy groan as it feels like the babies are basically ready to fly out. She tightens her grip on Harry and continues with the short breaths.
The room grows silent with only the music playing in the background and Harry has his worried eyes trained on the massive bump.
With a hand, he pushes Blue's damp curls away from her face and manages to give her a soothing kiss on the side of her head.
"Push baby girl, push for us," Ma cheers her on.
Blue loudly groans and clenches her entire body. Harry instantly feels this because her body is basically against his and he knows it's definitely go time.
He nods in encouragement and gives her a thumbs up with a hand. She exhales and slowly shakes her head after a false start.
The push felt a little useless and these babies clearly believe they have all day.
"P-Push...," Harry manages to say with his voice.
It doesn't sound as intended. This makes Blue chuckle with tears in her eyes and she tries to look at him.
"Babe, it's sounds like you're telling me to pull," she teases him and kisses his jaw.
"We can pull these babies out, they're stressing you out," he manages to sign without disturbing their positions.
"That's not how it works, sadly," the doula chuckles. "Keep up the chat, her body is relaxing and that's working."
"I should call Anne and Gemma, shit," Ma panics and rushes to get her phone from her bag.
Harry smiles as the doula translates the little panic and he nods in understanding.
After reconnecting with his sister, it's been her mission to be included in every single thing the couple is doing and he finds it sweet of her.
Right now, they're on their way to London after a quick mother-daughter trip. The babies decided to surprise everyone by arriving two weeks earlier than planned.
His thoughts are brought back to the room as he feels Blue wiggle a little and she strains her muscles again with one more push.
"Just look at all that hair," the doula cheers her on. "Keep pushing for me, mama."
"Puuuuushhh," Harry tries again, hoping he makes sense this time around, stressing on what he believes "shhh" sounds like.
This makes Blue give a hearty laugh at his effort. The doula gives him a double thumbs up and supportive smile.
"Oh shit, this is a huge one," Blue shakily says as she goes for another push.
With all her strength, she screams through her teeth and gives one strong push.
The reward for that push is the piercing scream of a baby smoothly slipping into the waiting hands of the Doula and Ma breaking down in tears on her phone call with Harry's family.
"Look at who we have here first," the doula coos, wrapping the baby in an olive green shawl and placing the baby right on mama's chest.
Blue chokes out in tears and Harry blinks away the tears in his eyes as he stares at the screeching baby. He cannot hear the piercing scream but this moment is enough to melt his heart.
In love, he presses a kiss to Blue's head as the doula returns to get out our second guest of honour and Ma rushes over to them.
"Hey baby girl, you're so fucking beautiful," Blue says through her tears, looking up at Harry.
"I know," he mouths with a nod and they briefly kiss.
"Oh god," Blue feels a random discomfort and groans out with a super brief push.
"Well someone was ready to come out without any effort," the doula laughs as she welcomes the second baby and wraps him in another shawl.
"Oh my goodness, my baby has babies," Ma wipes away her tears and controls her emotions.
With ease, the second baby, who takes his time to cry, is placed on Blue's chest and this just triggers Harry to finally let out his own tears. He sniffs as he stares at the two crying babies on Blue's chest and they share another kiss.
Blue is a muffled mess as she stares down at her children nestled on her chest.
"Hi babies, hi. I love you so much, I love you," she manages to say.
The doula and Ma are able to help Blue gently change into a safe position.
This makes Harry come face to face with his family, and he repeatedly kisses Blue's face. He looks from her to the babies and turns to the doula, clearly in disbelief.
"We did this, we actually did this," he signs to the woman with a smile.
"You made beautiful children, you should be proud." she agrees.
"Do you want to say hi to them?" Blue lightly taps him to return his attention.
Harry isn't sure what to do or feel as he stares at the babies. They're the perfect combination of himself and Blue.
It's a little unnerving to realise that he actually has children of his own. He doesn't know what the future holds for them. And, he has no idea how much of him they'll inherit.
This makes him a little nervous but the feeling of love is stronger than anything else. He leans closer to kiss Blue again and he stares at the baby.
"I love you three so much, you're my life." He says, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Blue slowly nods in agreement and touches his hair. He looks at her and brushes his nose against hers, reaching for one more kiss. She sniffs and keeps staring at his beautiful eyes, realising their baby boy has the same eyes.
"We have a family, I love you three with everything in me." she speaks clearly for him to read her lips.
"I l-love y-you." he stresses with his voice.
"It shows in every breath. I love you." she presses her forehead to his for a passionate moment.
Harry moves closer to embrace the three of them without too much friction for the babies and Ma is on duty getting pictures and videos as requested.
It's a beautiful moment and truly the start of something amazing for Harry and Blue.
Some time in the future...
As a child, Harry has always been described as a heavy sleeper. It was probably because he could hardly hear the world around him, which means nothing could ruin his moment of sleep and naps.
With the introduction of two beautiful children with bubbly personalities, he has found himself waking up at odd hours.
With the help of the baby monitors for deaf parents, he wears a watch that vibrates as a notification and he has come close to throwing it into the deepest oceans.
Not always. Just when he needs his good sleep.
The babies are Dawn and Dylan. Dawn maintains the personality she entered the world with, first and stubborn.
Dawn is loud, charming and sweet. She has already started repeating words around her and going wherever her chubby legs can take her too.
Dylan is not there yet. Blue noticed when he slept as deep as his father and didn't flinch when Dawn crashed an item right next to him and he continued sleeping peacefully.
Speaking of getting enough sleep, Harry has managed to sneak away and curl up in bed for a quick nap. It's a much needed one.
Unfortunately, he's still a father of two toddlers and he remembers that when he feels a soft thud next to him.
He flutters his tired eyes open and meets Dawn blinking her beautiful hazel brown eyes at him.
This makes Harry immediately smile without fighting it. Dawn is attached to him by the hip and she makes sure she shows him by following him everywhere.
She places a chubby hand to his face and giggles in glee on seeing him awake.
"Papaaaaa," she cheers.
Harry manages to get what she's saying by reading her lips and he yawns before replying his little one.
"Hi Angel." he greets her with her sign name.
"Wake up," she says and roughly signs at him, baby lisp still heavy.
"I'm here baby," Harry chuckles, staring at her.
Dawn adjusts on the bed and snuggles up to him. They love having moments like this where nobody else disturbs them.
Times like this, Dylan is either watching cartoons in silence or staying glued to his mother.
The girl has noticed that she has to tap her father to speak to him and she does that when she notices he's looking at something else.
Harry clears his throat and looks at her.
"I saw a butterfly," she says and is unable to properly sign the last word.
"F-Fly," he repeats with his words and also signs the word.
"No papa, Butterfly," Dawn repeats, stressing the word.
"Ohhh, like this," Harry nods "Butter-fly."
Whenever she hears her father's voice, she blushes and feels the need to hug him. The words always sound a little strained and airy from him.
The sign lets her know it's the word even when she doesn't fluently understand him. It's a super adorable reaction as she repeats the sign.
This time she gets it correct.
"Papa sounds cute," she tells him with a nod.
As if on cue, Dylan runs into the room with Blue right behind him. He screams in excitement and jumps on the bed.
The little boy wears a hearing aid to assist his introduction to language and give him the chance Harry didn't get with mimicking speech at an early age.
Dylan instantly tackles his sister and reaches for her curls, in a super playful way. Blue looks like she wants to stop them because Dawn reacts by shoving him.
"I see the twins have decided to choose violence today," Blue says and signs.
"Can I stop them?" Harry asks, sitting up in concern.
"Will they finally roll off the bed today? I'm so curious," she raises an eyebrow.
"You enjoy their violence a little too much," Harry rolls his eyes.
"I really do," she agrees with a smile.
Watching the twins fight each other, he decides to step in.
Harry pulls Dawn off from Dylan because the slaps have stepped in and she gives very great slaps. Blue blames her Jamaican side of the family.
The girl kicks her chubby legs in protest and reaches to yank off her brother's hearing aids but the boy just laughs his heart out, sticking out his tongue.
"Stop it," Harry warns, holding her to sit on his legs.
"What?" Dawn doesn't get the sign.
"S-stop...it, b-baby," he repeats using his words as he teaches her the sign.
Dawn shakes her head and turns to Blue. "Mama?"
"Your dad says you should stop hitting your brother," Blue explains and Dawn swiftly turns back to her father.
"No, make him stop," she protests, pointing at her brother.
"Angel, stop fighting," Harry tells the other little one, maintaining the same sign name for the twins.
"No." Dylan replies.
"Yeah, that's my boy." Blue smiles and scoops him up from the bed.
Dawn reaches for another attack and Harry is quick to grab their little ball of energy back. He chuckles at how much of a no-nonsense person she already is and he honestly admires that part of her.
The little girl pouts at him for stopping her and he consoles her with a soft kiss on the forehead.
"Papaaaaaa," she whines.
"Daaaaaawn." he says, sounding close to the name but leaving out the last letter in the sound.
"Baby girl, do we want to watch some cartoons?" Blue suggests, adjusting Dylan on her left hip.
"My cartoons!" Dawn screams, giving her mother a frown.
"Sure, anything to make you happy," she says with a smile.
"Cartoons?" Harry asks the other twin.
"Yes," Dylan replies with an eager nod.
"Okay...w-watch here," Harry explains as he gestures at Dawn to settle down on the bed.
His baby girl lightly kisses him on the cheek and crawls to adjust on the bed. Blue calmly places Dylan on the bed.
As expected from chaotic twins, they instantly hug themselves and the parents exchange a knowing look.
Without waiting, Harry gets their pads and places it for them. It's an inclusive show that uses English and BSL to keep all children engaged, and Dylan responds positively to the show.
As soon as their attention is on the show, Harry stands up and stands next to Blue, giving her a smile.
"I've noticed that he's started repeating the words, with his voice," Blue explains.
"That's good, right?" he asks, unsure.
"Very good, he's still hard of hearing for now, so the doctor says he doesn't qualify as deaf," she replies.
"We don't care, do we?" Harry asks.
"No. We just want them happy and safe in this world, by all means." Blue answers with a smile.
"And, we're good parents, right?" he frowns, asking a lot of questions.
"You're the best father I've seen in my fatherless life," she chuckles.
"You're just saying that because we fuck," Harry squints at her.
"I hate you so much for saying that," she fights herself from laughing.
"It's the truth." He sticks out his tongue.
Harry brings his arm around Blue and she leans into him for a moment as they watch their children enjoy their show.
For a second it looks like Dylan is about to start another fight and she quickly goes to him.
"No fighting," Blue reminds him.
"Okay!" Dylan is louder than Dawn for obvious reasons.
"Shhhhhhh," Dawn turns to him with a frown.
"Be n-nice," Harry reminds her.
The twins ignore the parents and return to their cuddling position.
Blue realises there's no point engaging and she drags Harry out of the room. They walk to the living space and meet Mango who is fast asleep. She smiles at the family cat and she leans in to kiss Harry.
"You're such a nice dad," she chuckles.
"I don't need them killing themselves," he sighs.
"It's fine. They're twins, we may never understand their bond," she reminds him.
Harry nods and looks a little out of it. He pauses and taps Blue to hold her attention.
"I noticed Dylan moved his mouth. Did he speak?" he points out.
"A very loud Okay, I think that's his favourite word after Mango," she chuckles.
"Is it good? Do you understand him?" he asks, clearing his throat.
"Like I understand you," Blue replies.
"Do people understand him?" he rephrases his question.
Blue knows where he's coming from and she nods. "Loud and clear."
The idea of his own son having it better than he did is extremely comforting. His deafness was never a thing that plagued him or made him insecure, it was always people.
People have always been the problem. People made him insecure. People used his voice to judge his intelligence. People told him he was wrong whenever he said things and that affects a person.
Being deaf was never the problem. It was always horrible people.
Knowing Dylan will be fine is soothing and he just wants the two of them to be more protected than he was.
"That makes me happy," he admits.
"I thought we didn't care," she raises an eyebrow.
"Yes but I'm still human and the world is not like us," Harry says.
"Zayn asks if we can have a family date this week," she reminds him.
"Yes, Fairy has been messaging me with her new phone," he smiles.
The sound of the children laughing their hearts out echoes and Blue pauses to admire the sweet sound with tears in her eyes. Those are her children.
Harry notices that she's listening to something and touches her with a small frown.
"They're having fun," she says.
"Laughing or screaming? Well, what's the difference?" he chuckles.
"They're laughing. It's probably the strawberry pond scene," she explains.
"Oh, I like that scene," Harry points out.
"Can we cuddle up and watch a movie?" Blue asks.
"Anything you want, Mama Blue," he smirks.
This makes her chuckle and she nudges him.
"You're annoying," she says.
"Bl-Blue, anything, okay?" He uses his words.
This makes her hook her arms around his neck and stare at him.
Sometimes she wonders what would have happened if she hadn't applied for that random writing class and if she hadn't made an effort to sign to the moody guy that kept staring at her right before their shared class.
"Do you know how much I adore you?" she asks, speaking clearly for him to understand.
"Tell me," he mouths, the corners of his mouth threatening to spill into a smile.
"A lot more than I planned to. You're the best thing that happened to me, you gave me two angels and a beautiful life, I love you Harry Styles." Blue confesses.
"I l-love you, Blue Styles." Harry says and seals it with a kiss.
This is their life.
A beautiful simple life with amazing friends, family and all the love they never imagined. This is the life that has always been planned out for them. It's better than they ever imagined.
Things truly get better for them and they wouldn't have any other way.
This is officially the end.
Note : if you follow me on Twitter (same username as here) you know how extra personal this story is to me. I enjoyed writing this sweet story and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for loving Blue and Harry, I love you x