8/2022 UPDATE: HELLO NEW READERS!!
a few things: I fucking love reading comments so feel free to blow my shit up
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We also have a 20+ discord!! Full of shitposts. Link is in my Wattpad bio
I plan on reworking the first, like, 10 chapters eventually because my writing style seems to improve by ch11 lol
Anyway, I'm so grateful you're here. Hope you enjoy 💕♥️🫡
Present Day
"Sorry you didn't cum."
I laugh. Yeah, I didn't cum. Lately, I barely ever do when I'm with Ryan. It's gotten to the point where I'm still wearing a shirt the whole time, and I have to get on top to feel any sort of real pleasure.
But that doesn't stop me from spending every fucking Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night glancing at my phone, waiting for his name to pop up. I'm always there when he wants me. He's never there when I do. I've convinced myself it's fine that way.
After all — sometimes, when he remembers to, he talks dirty the way I like.
This particular Sunday, though, I don't spend another 2 hours post-coitus in his filthy one-bedroom, fake-laughing at videos he shows me on his phone, holding out hope that he'll see me as the cool girl he's been in love with all along. I have an early morning.
I'm starting a new job with Representative Kylo Ren tomorrow.
Politics is a filthy game, and I've been happily playing it for what feels like fucking decades. I really don't want to come off as arrogant, but I'm good at it. When I'm at a fundraiser or rally or press conference, something totally comes over me. I remember names, past conversations I've had with those names, primary drama surrounding those names...you name it. And they love me right back. Enter Kylo fucking Ren.
9 months earlier
Ren ran a tough and dirty primary, and I hated every second of it. Right before everyone I'd expected started to announce their candidacy, he came straight out of nowhere— well, D.C., to be exact. No true organizing experience. Rich parents who always gave me mad imperialist vibes. He had the audacity to come into my state armed to the gills with the best consultants, the most seasoned staff, and a padded fucking wallet. Literally the antithesis of what my organizing experience has been. To me, he was an establishment shill looking for airtime and power. I hated him and hadn't even met him yet. That's why I worked my ass off for his primary opponent, Poe Dameron.
That whole primary, I knocked 50+ doors a night, carved out a second home in our derelict little campaign headquarters, and picked up smoking menthols. All for little to no pay. But I'd do anything to wipe the smirk off of Ren's privileged fucking face when he loses.
Poe Dameron, conversely, was a sexy, progressive spitfire. As his deputy campaign manager, I spent nearly every waking moment with this man. And it was hard. We'd make fundraising calls side by side, every night until our 8pm cutoff. I literally felt myself tense up when his shoulder would brush mine. He smelled like freshly tanned leather and cheap shower gel. It was hot. He was hot. We had our little moments, for sure. We'd sneak beers after the volunteers left for the night. We'd drink and laugh at the old donors we called up and shared horror stories of campaigns' past. That is, until his girlfriend would pick him up.
I literally fantasized about running my nails through his salt-and-pepper hair and tugging on it so I could hear his saccharine voice stutter in my ear. I wanted him to bend me over the desk where we'd staple pamphlets during the day and keep his little gold-rimmed glasses on the whole time. At one point, I'd even thought about him fucking me between canvassing houses. I found myself shaving, exfoliating, and primping practically every night before work. It was bad.
So that's why I got attached to Ryan. He was a distraction that turned into some weird unrequited-love bullshit. But that's another story for another day. I digress.
---
I remember when I finally came face-to-face with Ren. Poe and I were at a fundraiser at some swanky house. I was definitely pounding far too many glasses of champagne. I didn't know much about what we were about to walk into, but I did know that Ren wasn't supposed to be there. Given the rapport we'd established with everyone there, this was basically our fundraiser. I had a running list of potential attendees, and Ren definitely wasn't one of them.
All that said, I looked good that night. Some friends I'd worked with back during legislative session were there with their respective campaigns and orgs, and I planned to have fun and let loose. I spent the earlier part of my evening applying individual lashes and covering up wanton hickeys that Ryan had left the previous night. While I knew I couldn't get Poe, I at least wanted him to think about it. Harmless. It's the name of the game.
After I made sure that Poe was talking to the right people, I joined my friends to huddle in a corner, gossiping and giggling like schoolgirls. It was nice. As I scanned the room for more victims to dish on about fudged FEC reports and nepotistic hiring practices, time suddenly stopped. I literally almost dropped my fucking champagne flute. The front door had opened, and in walked an entourage of perfectly-pressed, commanding, important-looking operatives. Dressed in all black like it was a gala or something. Parting the crowd like the Red Sea. I somehow knew exactly who the fuck just walked in. It was none other than the fabled Kylo Ren, flanked by his trusty staffers— we nicknamed them the Knights of Ren.
My friend Rose was in the middle of telling me a story about how the Hux for Senate campaign tanked half its staff in the wake of a single bad polling percentage, but everything went in one ear and out the other.
"...yeah, and I heard that his finance chair is working on an op-ed for Medium to expose the shit out of Hux. Dude is fucked! My CM mentioned that he was going to poach a few... Hello? Babe? Are you hearing me? Am I just, like, talking to my glass of champs right now?" Rose whispered harshly, squeezing my upper arm.
"Rose, you know I fucking adore you," I responded slowly, never taking my eyes off the scene that was unfolding. "But please, please look at who just walked in."
Everyone had mentioned that Ren was tall, scary, and a little hot, but that barely even touched the surface. This man was breathtakingly, absurdly, almost disgustingly sexy. Like, weird sexy. Like, spit in my mouth and never talk to me again, daddy sexy. I'd envisioned him as another greying white dude with a vicious side part and maybe, just maybe, some good forearms. But no. Ren was a gorgeous, otherworldly giant. As he walked through the crowd, ignoring the polite greetings that were peppered toward him, he swept his arm up to card through his jet-black waves that cascaded nearly to his enormous fucking shoulders. I watched as he sucked his pillowy, nearly berry-tinted lower lip between his teeth as he appraised his surroundings and zoned in on the far corner of the room. His suit fit perfectly, straining over his bulky build, wrapping around every hulking muscle as if it were a tailored second skin. And his nose. I have a thing for noses, and I wanted that one buried between my thighs.
"Fuck."
"Fuck."
"So this tells me that you're handing in your letter of res to join the Knights, right? Same district, different dick," Rose murmured, arm threading over my shoulders to rest her weight on me.
I whipped my head around to hiss at her, "You think I'd turn into some sort of fucking moderate sell-out shill because...because..."
"Because the black sheep primary opponent you've been bitching about for months turned out to be exactly your type?" Rose retorted with a smirk.
"NO! NO, BABE! I'm just surp—"
"And because the black sheep primary opponent you've been bitching about for months is walking toward your boss right now?"
"What?"
Suddenly, Poe cast a frantic glance toward me as Ren and his fucking dickhead Knights sauntered toward him. I threw back my champagne as if it'd snap me out of my embarrassingly horny trance, and leaned over to grab another flute from the buffet table. Rose sunk back into the rest of our group to fill everyone in on what just happened as I made my descent, smoothing out my slinky Reformation dress and surreptitiously adjusting my décolletage. I told you, I looked good that night.
I managed to intercept Kylo and his creepy fucking army right in time. I leaned toward Poe as I sidled up next to him.
"I had no idea he'd be here. With his Knights, no less. Fucking coward," I hissed.
"Considering all the opp research you've been doing on him during call time lulls, I'm pretty confident that you've prepared me for this moment. It'll be fine," Poe murmured, his breath fanning over my ear enough to make me twitch a little bit. He patted my back and righted himself as Kylo stopped right in front of us.
My heart dropped. I felt (and smelled) the rush of air as he had stepped right in front of me, choosing to acknowledge me first before even taking a second look at Poe. And he smelled like Tom Ford's wet dream. Like charred amber and tobacco and spunk. Fucking asshole.
I wasn't prepared for what happened next. His voice. His velvety, loud, inexplicably deep voice, drawling out my full government name like he'd been preparing to say it for years.
"...A pleasure. I've heard a lot about your work over the years, in the district and beyond. Hats off to you." He extends his huge hand to me to shake. Cocky motherfucker.
I'm not sure if it was the copious amount of champagne, or the fact that I'd spent months hating this man's guts, but I glanced over at Poe, looked back up at Ren with the sexiest doe eyes I could muster, lifted my hand as if to take his, and— at the last second— flipped my hair off my shoulder and rested my hand on my hip.
Ren slowly dropped his hand down and stuffed it into his pocket, shit-eating smirk plastered on his freckled face. His bright, twinkling eyes dragged down my body, and all the way back up. Drinking me in. Blinking slowly in a lustful haze. Lustful?? Yeah, lustful. He wants me.
"Oh, this primary will be fun."
A/N: HI!!!! If you read this far, THANK YOU! If you didn't, THAT'S OK! Please, pleaseee leave any comments you want. Send suggestions, recommendations, I don't care. I want to hear all of your thoughts.
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Big thanks to @worm-girl, @dceline96, @-DARLINGDRIVER, and @vividlittlevox for writing gorgeous pieces that inspired the absolute shit out of me!!!!