|Chapter Twent-Two|
I sat by Rae's grave under the shade of an apple tree that stood alone in the meadow, a few feet away from the orchard.
Sai and Matt had been gone all day, finalizing some details with K.O.A.C and I had been here, just gazing. I had woken up a couple of hours ago, an entire day after it all went down, and made my way straight here, where mom said they laid him to rest.
The sisters and his siblings from the orphanage all came to bid him farewell earlier, and I'd finally been able to stop crying since I woke up.
I felt uneasy as I watched the fresh dirt and the apple blossoms that fell and covered his grave. I didn't know if Fenrih would accept him since he was really no longer himself, but I prayed that his Great was welcoming, that They remembered who he was before. A splash of silver hit the dirt and I wiped my nose with a soaked cloth I had been using for the bleeding that was constant since the moment I woke up, and rested my head on the trunk of the tree, shutting my eyes and letting the soft breeze ease the nonstop throbbing of my head. A twig snapped and my eyes shifted to the direction the sound came from.
A familiar figure stood a few feet before me, a soft smile on her face and I rose quickly on unsteady feet, tackling her in a soft hug, careful of her bump that was starting to show. ''Kali?What are you doing here?''
She chuckled into my shoulder as she hugged me back. "We couldn't wait until you guys came on Wednesday. Everyone has been worried sick the entire time. And I missed you.''
''I missed you too. I'm sorry for not answering your calls-''
''It's okay, Matty told me you guys had your hands full.''
''Yeah. Yeah, we did. How did you know I was up here?''
''Your mom told me." She looked down at the grave and then back at me. "I heard about your friend, Soli. I'm really sorry."
Just hearing someone bring him up made tears well up in my eyes again. I stared up at the darkening clouds and blinked them away. ''It's okay," It really wasn't.
''He'd be proud to know what you went through to save him, you know that right?"
''I don't know. I failed him."
'Hey, you didn't.'' She grasped my chin when I turned away, making me look at her again. ''You didn't. You did everything you could."
She pulled me in again, her shorter hair brushing against my cheek. "What... happened yesterday Soli? Matty gave me a rundown of the situation on his end, but what happened with you and Siya? His mind seems a bit far and that's unusual for him."
''Sai's back?''
Kali nodded. "They came to pick us up.''
We hadn't gotten around to talking about what happened yet; when I woke up he had already left, so I spent spent the morning with my mother. I admit that I was a bit angry at him for leaving without telling me, but I understood. I don't think either of us had time to process the full extent of what happened yesterday. It was a lot to take in at once. ''Can I tell you after? I'm not... ready, I think."
She gave me a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay, we can talk whenever you're ready. I'm here." She extended her arm for me, "Everyone is by the lake having dinner, they're waiting for you."
I had seen the lights around the gazebo flicker on a while back but I made nothing of it, it didn't even cross my mind to see why.
I felt too sick to eat but I wasn't going to let Kali walk all the way here for nothing so I'd just enjoy the company and the evening. I dusted off the loose dirt from my dress and turned to Rae before taking Kali's hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, bud.''
Kali rose to her toes and picked a cluster of apple blossoms from a low branch and laid it on the still fresh soil of the grave. They had buried him while I was still unconscious and in a way, I was grateful. I didn't want to break down in front of everyone and I knew I would have.
"It was nice meeting you Rae. May your Great grant you peace."
We strolled down to the lake in a comfortable silence as the sun sank deeper into the horizon and like she said, everyone was gathered around a table in the gazebo, laughing and talking, everyone except Sai. He seemed lost in his head, he didn't even see me approach.
Erin and Asli ran up to me the moment they caught sight of me though, tackling my waist in identically tight grasps that knocked the breath out of my lungs. "Soli! We're so glad that you're okay. Asli had been crying the entire night.''
''So were you!'' Asli glared at her sister before peering up at me with softer eyes. ''Are you okay?''
I stroked her dark hair and sent what I hope was a reassuring smile her way. ''I'm good.''
She seemed satisfied and gave me one last squeeze before dragging Erin towards Aunt-Drea who was sitting by the bank. I was bombarded with hugs from uncle Tomas and Jules as well, both said how happy they were that we were okay and shared condolences, and I said the same empty words I had been repeating: 'I'm okay, thank you,'
Rae had no family, it had always been just him until I came along and took him into my small circle. I guess that's why I had been so eager for him to meet the others, to give him the family he never had as a thank you for his friendship. But I just was too late for him.
I took the only empty space next to Sai, but he pulled me onto his lap instead and wrapped his arm around my stomach, resting his head on my shoulder. Everyone gave curious glances at our proximity, but no one said anything about it, only continued with their conversations.
''Why didn't you tell me you were leaving this morning?'' We were close enough that even though I spoke in a whisper among the surrounding noise he heard what I said.
His free hand played with the hem of my dress, rolling the fabric between his long fingers. ''You seemed tired. I didn't want to wake you.''
''You should've woken me up anyway,'' I took his hand in mine, the one that was he was using to distract himself, and laced my fingers through his. ''Don't go without saying bye, okay?''
His lips brushed my shoulder blade, placing a soft kiss there. ''Okay.''
''Any news about... Lilauae?''
Sai's eyes grew darker with the mention of her name and his fingers tightened around mine. "None. It's as if she disappeared into thin air.''
''Maybe she escaped through a portal?''
He shook his head and a dark strand, the same color as Lilauae's fell into his eyes. The grey of his eye and the black-blue of his hair had always been peculiar, only now I knew why. Mother said high Fae of the night court tend to share certain attributes, the raven hair and the shadow magic, for instance. It just never clicked because Dècalthians couldn't crossbreed, but I was living proof against that and in some odd way, so was Sairen.
I tucked the stray away from his eyes, and loosened his hair from its tie, watching as the strands glowed blue in the firey sunset. No matter what they shared, Sai was still mine, still singular. He was not hers. She didn't get to claim him, and I wouldn't allow him to think she could. I wouldn't allow him to get lost in his head and question everything he knew about his mother, about who in some twisted way was a mother to him. I knew he was doing just that by the way he was twisting that ring on his thumb, as he always does when he thinks.
''She couldn't have," He answered, "There were no remnants of energy from a portal anywhere near the site. We went back to see if anything was overlooked, but nothing.''
''What are you two whispering about over there?'' Mom asked from her seat across the table, smiling over a glass of wine.
''Yesterday.''
Her light expression fell from her face with my answer and she laid her glass on the table. ''Let's just try to enjoy the moment while it lasts. Hopefully she died from her injuries, she couldn't have made it far bleeding as much as she did. ''
My mother was never one to leave issues unattended, but she had been through a lot-we all had, so I guess it was really best to take a day before we dealt with everything.
''Yeah. Yeah, sure.'' I smiled back and hers returned. A soft breeze wafted through our space and it reminded me of a moment of my childhood, of simpler times when my father was still around and we were happy. ''Hey, Ma? How does that song go again? The folk one that you always used to sing to me?''
Her face was tight with incomprehension as she opened her mouth to speak but the girls ran up to the table and cut our conversation short, Aunt-Drea trailing slowly behind them.
''Did you tell them already, mommy?'' Erin started with uneven breaths, a huge grin on her face.
Everyone except uncle Tomas and the twins had the same confused look as I did. ''Tell us what?''
''I'm moving back to Ecalis,'' Jules said.
''Really?" Sai beat me to the question.
''Yeah.'' Aunt Jules shrugged, ''Soli's back, and that's the only reason Matt and I stayed behind. Besides I've grown tired of portaling to Eçalis for work everyday and I want to be with Tomas and the girls more often."
"So are we,'' Matty added. His arms were around his wife, one on her shoulder, the other on her stomach. ''Kali and I think it's what's best for the babies."
Uncle Tomas choked on his drink and twin squeals pierced our eardrums. Our table had erupted into a state of ruckus while uncle Tomas came back to his senses. "Babies?'' He spluttered out, wiping the liquid from the table while I was still trying to pick up my jaw.
''Surprise?'' Kali smiled shyly at everyone's state of shock. ''I fainted yesterday and the medic found more than one heartbeat."
''By the Goddess and all the Greats, Kali! That's fantastic!'' Jules took her in, swaying her as they hugged. "Another twin in the family? The house is going to be so full.''
''What about you?'' Tomas faced my mom, whose face was priceless. She resembled a blank sheet of paper, pale in her surprise. "You haven't been to Eçalis in a while Lessa, I think it's time."
She drew her gaze away from Kali long enough to smile at him. ''Of course.''
''Well I've always wanted to see Eçalis,'' I added. "And there's nothing keeping us here anymore."
We were no longer on the run, and I felt lighter just thinking about it. Achar probably knows where we are, but he most likely always had, the only difference is that I'm no longer scared. He was still locked away in Ilairk and as long as he were I had time to figure out a way to kill him.
''Drea?'' Mom's voice held an undertone of worry when she spoke again. "Are you okay? You haven't said much the entire time.''
I did notice her silence, but Sai had been quiet too so I thought nothing of it.
"Yeah,'' Aunt-Drea smiled. It looked strained. ''It's just my shoulder started flaring back up. "
I was on red alert instantly. "Why didn't you say anything?''
" It's nothing," She brushed away the concern with a wave of her wrist. "I should be fine, it's just the wound closing.''
''Are you sure Aunt-Drea?''
She nodded at me from across the table. Her smile was lighter this time but I took her answer with a grain of salt.
Night had long since fallen by the time we made our way inside, and only then because of a sudden rain that blew gazebo. We had ran back to the house, each soaked to our bones but laughing nevertheless. Sai and I had gone separate ways, him to his room and me to my mother's, but he kissed me goodnight first. I knew that my nightmares would return without him like they did last night, but I missed my mom, and the stupid dreams I had since I was a child weren't going to keep me from her. But, as I laid in bed, my tired eyes yearning for sleep that just wouldn't come, I realized how much I missed having him laying by me.
I crawled out of bed as quietly as I could, trying my best not to wake my mother but she didn't jolt awake at the movement like she usually would. Instead, she was fast asleep.
His room was empty when I entered, his bed unmade and a framed photo laying on his dark silk sheets. His mother stared back at me when I picked it up, and looking at her now I saw how much her son resembled her. They had the same eyes, not just the green but the same shape and intensity of them, and the same thick, long eyelashes that casted shadows on their cheeks. They had the same freckle on their bottom lips as well, and the same smile, but he had Lilauae's raven hair and her striking grey eye, and I knew that was eating him away inside.
I put the picture back in its place and picked up a blanket instead.
Sairen was right where I thought he'd be, sat under the moonlight in the meadow, his back tense as he looked aimlessly ahead at the shining lake. His hair was out, swaying gently in a soft breeze that blew it around his shoulders.
''It's cold out.'' He glanced at me briefly before returning his attention to something on his lap.
''I know. I brought us a blanket.'' I draped the thick cloth on his shoulders before sitting beside him and taking some of the warmth. The grass was still moist from the rain earlier, but its coolness was soothing. It took a while before I spoke again, my attention occupied by the nightscape and my mind reeling on how to start on the questions I had, but when I did my words were quiet to respect the night, ''Can we talk about what happened yesterday?''
His hands stilled at flipping the throwing star he had been playing with and he finally looked at me, but he didn't meet my eyes. ''I'm sorry for what happened to Raegan, what you had to do to him.''
I took a deep breath before starting again. ''I-i'm not talking about Rae. I've spoken countless times about what happened, but you...you haven't. I know it's hard-''
''It's not hard, Sol. It's simple. I've blamed myself my entire life for my parents' death.'' His words were low when he spoke, his face hard as he flipped the weapon in his hand. ''I knew I shouldn't- that I wasn't to blame but I still did. When you live with someone who believed you are a murderer, you tend to start believing it too. So when she came to me for the first time, I thought... well I thought that my mother had forgiven me, that at least she didn't hate me like my father and grandfather did. And she treated me well, she did. And that's the sick part, I think she actually loved me, she did everything a mother would've...''
He sighed as he placed the star on the grass and held me instead, drawing the blanket tighter around us as I laid on his arm. ''I'm not hurting Sol, I'm just upset. I'm not even sure what I'm more upset about; the fact that she killed my mother, or that she pretended to be her. But what I'm angry about is that I'm not grieving the mother I thought I had. I didn't know her, but that I still would have loved her if she had come to me as herself. I'm a fool like that.''
''You are no fool Sairen, you were a child.''
''Perhaps,'' He looked up and I followed his gaze to where the stars were clustered together magnificently, oblivious to the fact that their world was in danger. ''She's not dead.''
"I know.''
''I just hope that we have a bit of time before she shows up again, before they continue the preparations to release Achar." He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it and I snuggled closer to him. ''You could use a break.''
''We all could," I sighed. "I think that's why they're all going back to Eçalis, you know?''
''Yeah.'' He slipped the blanket off of him completely and wrapped me in it. ''Let's head back.''
''Why?''
''Because you're tired.''
I would have denied it if I hadn't yawned so wide that I almost cracked my jaw just then. Sai's eyes lit up in amusement and it was good seeing something lighter in them again.
''You just proved my point.'' He smiled, shaking his head as he got up, pulling me up after him. ''Are you sleeping by your mom again tonight?''
''Are you asking me to stay with you?''
''I am.''
I raised myself to my tiptoes but I still had to pull him down in order to brush my lips against his. ''Then I'll stay.''
It was my turn to comfort him.
The air was still as we made our way back, even the trees had stopped rustling- almost as if they were holding their breath. Something was up, and as I spotted Matt panting by the doorway, his hair a mess and his face ashen, I knew my feeling was right. We ran towards him and his eyes widened when he saw us, and he turned swiftly on hurried feet and motioned for us to follow. He didn't need to say anything, the look on his face told us that everything was wrong.
My heart was just a cold lump in my chest, beating rapidly and unsteady by the time we reached Aunt-Drea's room, and it moved to my throat when I entered. Sai crashed into me when I stopped in my tracks and I staggered, but I made no other move to go closer. Everyone else was gathered around her bed while Akali held the girls closely to her in a corner of the room; they were all crying. I heard Sai, at some distant corner of my mind, asking what the hell happened. And I heard Matt saying that they didn't know, that he was just getting water when he heard her screaming, and then she just...stopped. But I couldn't grasp what either of them was saying because it didn't make sense. Andrea was fine. She was. She had to be.
My steps were slow as I finally made my way to her bed and in those brief moments my mind replayed every moment with her like a film, but the memories were jumbled, scattered with nerves as I watched her. I'd prove them wrong; she was just-
A sob tore through me so viciously that it hurt my chest and I collapsed by her side. The dressing on her shoulder was soiled completely, staining her sheets the same black that was on her nose and lips. Her hand was still warm when I took it in mine but there was no pulse no matter where I checked or for how long. There was none. I climbed into bed beside her, not caring about the wet sheets, and laid my head on her chest. It was quiet.
''I-i don't understand.'' Akali's voice was soft, distant. ''She was fine the whole week, she was fine today...''
My mom stroked my back gently as she stood by me but her touch did nothing to comfort me. "Maybe she was just pretending that she was okay?"
I had thought so too, but anytime I touched her, feeling for pain, she really was doing well. There was nothing other than a throbbing like she said. I shook my head, tasting the tears on my lips as I tried to stifle my cries into her chest.
She slept in the meadow under the shade of the apple tree next to Rae.
She was a child of Li'ak, a free spirit who wouldn't like to be confined to the soil so we followed the ways of her people, allowing her to be free in death. We laid her to rest on a pire full of wildflowers and as we lit it aflame, we sent prayers up to her Great, asking for her entrance into Their haven.
The sun shone high in the sky, not a single gray cloud in sight, and the breeze blew loose petals across the expanse.
It was a beautiful day but I wished for rain. I wished for thunder and lightning and for raging winds that tore the shutters off the house- because that was what had just happened, and the warm sun felt as if it was mocking our grief.
I waited a while at the graves even after everyone had left, watching ants carry away little pieces of the cake I'd left for Rae and saying the goodbye that I didn't get to before making my way back to the house. I passed the living room straight without acknowledging anyone there and headed up to my room. They had all gathered, talking about Aunt-Drea. I didn't want to talk, there wasn't anything I could talk about without screaming, but I heard footsteps behind me anyway.
I sat on my bed, waiting for the person to come through so I could get this over with. Waiting, so I could cry again.
Mom walked in, a sad smile on her face, and sat down beside me. ''How are you feeling Soli? Is your nose still bleeding?''
I just showed her the stained sleeves of my dress before reaching for my dagger that sat on the nightstand. My voice was hoarse and scratchy when I spoke and I wiped my tears quickly again. "I remember the day dad gave me this. It was the day before my sixth birthday. He said it was supposed to be my birthday present but he gave me it earlier because of my nightmare. You... were furious, " A laugh escaped my lips but there was little humor in it. "You couldn't believe he'd give me something so dangerous. But Aunt-Drea... She said it was a good idea and she'd help me use it. Now, she's dead, and you're still alive. "
I looked her dead in the eye for the first time since this morning . There was a moment when a look of incomprehension flashed on her face, but it was replaced instantly by one of agony as I plunged the dagger into her chest. Hot liquid poured down my hand and for a moment there was a flicker of fear inside me as I thought that I was wrong, but she smiled, the blood painting her lips blue as my mother's features slipped away.
''How did I do?'' Lilauae gasped, choking on her blood. ''My performance, I mean.''
''You slipped up.'' Her face tightened as I twisted the blade in her chest, ''It's the little things. No one but Sai knew how badly I hurt you and neither of us had spoken about what happened to anyone. I didn't want to believe it but I know my mother. Where is she?''
Lilauae smiled, blood spilling from her mouth. ''Gone.''
I wanted answers, but my rage won. I pushed the knife further and as she cried I whispered a curse on her. ''Your soul is now mine and will be freed by my tongue,''
Her eyes widened impossibly at my words as she tried to get away but I held her down. ''No,''
''Yes. You are bound to my word, tethered to this physical world unless your mercy is granted by me. Which is unlikely.'' The dagger came out the other side of her chest and so did my fist. She fell to the floor, a gaping hole where her heart no longer was.
My hands were covered in blood and it left streaks on my face as I tried frantically to wipe the tears that kept falling. I couldn't stop crying and I had to stifle my wails into my sleeve because I didn't want anyone to hear. I needed some time to process on my own and they were still dealing with what happened to Aunt-Drea. Now, this?
I felt his presence behind me, that same irritating tingling I got whenever he appeared.
"Now little light, see what happens...'' His words trailed off and I felt the temperature of the room drop drastically. I turned to see his eyes trained on the floor, where Lilauae lay.
"What have you done!'' He shouted, his fiery eyes snapped to me, fury radiating from them.
"What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" I screamed, seeing nothing but red. "What did you do?"
He sneered and his face contorted so viciously it no longer seemed human-like, but I thought I saw actual pain in his eyes. "I did what I said I would. It's your own fault for not taking me seriously.'' His attention drifted back to the woman on the floor.
"What more do you want from me?'' My voice broke but I didn't care about looking strong at that moment. I didn't care at all. "What did I ever do to you?''
''I wanted you to join me, but not after what you've done. It's unforgivable." He was still focused on her when he spoke, his face red. ''And you? You've done nothing to me, you're just unfortunately the product of the person who did. That arrogant asshole always seemed to one-up me. Always. Always stronger, faster, better. Always the favorite son. My own mother thought that I was a monster-she was right, of course, but it still hurt especially when she looked at him as if he were a fucking angel. Which was ironic since he's the son of a demon whore. '' He exhaled sharply before continuing. ''So no, you did nothing to me, Solaure, but destroying all that he has gives me a sense of accomplishment."
I scoffed, or at least I tried to, but it came off more like a whimper. "I was wrong about you.''
He looked up, finally, at my words, a thick red brow raised.
''You are no great darkness," I spat. "You're just a child given too much power and wanting the one toy you cannot have."
He seethed. His teeth bared with his words, fangs filling up his mouth. "I am a king! "
"You are nothing. You are barely a man!" I shouted, choking back tears. "And I am going to fucking kill you, Achar. I am going to make you suffer."
''How?'' His words were mocking, his fangs making his smile much more menacing. ''You're practically dead.''
''Then it'll be the last thing I do. I swear it by my Goddess and every Great." I whispered, my voice strained an tired. "You killed my friend, my aunt, my mother because of what? Jealousy? Your fragile ego?''
Something flashed in his auburn eyes then, but I didn't care enough to decipher if it was amusement or anger. "If you had done what I asked, they would be alive. It's your fault.''
There was that phrase again, 'Your fault'. My fault. I had been repeating those words to myself constantly. "It's not.''
''Oh, but it is. Rae, was his name? He could still be alive, and your precious Drea? I could have saved her. If only you had said 'yes' I would have willed the poison away. It's your fault they're dead. Yours.''
I charged, my claws unsheathed and my fangs bared, even though I knew I couldn't hurt him. Yet I charged anyway, because the only thought in my head at the moment was wanting him dead.
A thin, glass-like film shattered around my hand as I reached for him and he was no longer surrounded by the walls of my room. Instead, he stood high, on that same balcony I saw in my vision watching the four moons set. He stood in Ilairk, yet somehow my fingers wrapped around his throat while I still stood in my room.
His eyes grew wide as I choked him and I was still confused as to how when he got over his shock faster than I did and shoved me away. He held on to his bleeding throat and looked at me with something akin to amazement in his eyes before the air between us stitched itself back together and he was gone.
There were slivers of his skin under my nails.
I had let him slip through my fingers. I had him in my hand-literally-and I let him get away.
I screamed, the harsh sound leaving my throat with a strangled cry and condensed darkness spilled out of me as it did.
It rushed out in waves, coating the air like a thick blanket until all I saw was black, then I saw nothing at all.
-•-•-
A/N
Another one bites the dust.
I'm sorry, but it had to be done. RIP Drea, I'll miss making you come alive...
And about that twist???
-JADEDSOL-