Party and I had finally gotten back to base, just as the sun began to go down. Throughout the drive, our fingers had remained intertwined, and a strange feeling of butterflies had been in my stomach. I look up at him, and the setting sun reflects off of his bright red hair, engulfing him in light. He's beautiful. Something about him just feels right. Like the way his bright hazel eyes can practically see into my broken soul, and how he can instantly tell if something is wrong. Nobody's ever been able to do that before. And in that moment, I finally realize what Silver Shock had been telling me this whole time. As much as I try to deny it, I am falling for Party Poison.
I know I'm being stupid. Within the few short weeks that I've known them, I've gotten attached to the Fabulous Four. They've welcomed me with open arms, and treated me as one of their own. And I've only gotten closer to Party Poison. He's the one person that I feel I can truly trust and be vulnerable around.
But I know that a relationship is unrealistic. If I were ever to get involved with Party, two scenarios could happen. The first, and unrealistic, being that we would have a great relationship and be a normal couple, or as normal as you could be out here. We would have our 'happily ever after,' and would eventually take down Korse and BL. The second, more practical outcome would be that somehow Korse would figure out that we were involved, and if either of us were to ever be captured, the other would be a weakness. BL would use us against each other, and then we would both be in danger. And no matter how much I like Party, I couldn't do that to him.
What am I thinking? I shouldn't be running through all of these scenarios in my head, it's very likely that Party only sees me as a part of his team. An ally. He probably wants nothing to do with me in that way, and I am just being a stupid girl.
When did this all happen? Less than two months ago, I would barely talk to another Killjoy, and now here I am, apart of the Fabulous Five and falling for the infamous Party Poison. When did I let this happen? When did I start trusting? When did I open up? What is happening to me?
"Uh, Toxic?" Party says, snapping out of my daydreams. "We're home."
"Oh," I say, looking out of the passenger window of the trans-am. I had let Party drive us home after Dr. D's, since I was still pretty upset after our encounter. "Sorry, I was zoned out."
He chuckles lightly before opening my door for me. "C'mon, let's go." Party puts his hand on my waist, and I let him keep it there, instead of shrugging him off like I would've just yesterday. He seems surprised that I go with it, and leads me into the diner.
"Hey guys! You're back!" Ghoul yells as we walk in and slide into a booth. "How'd it go?"
"Um, well Toxic sure doesn't bite her tongue, let's just leave it at that," Party laughs as Kobra slides us both a can of Power Pup before sitting across from us.
"Woah, you've got guts!" Kobra tells me, and I give him a small smile.
"I wouldn't say that, I just don't have time for his crap," I say. "How were the zones? Any excitement?"
"No, it was pretty boring, no dracs were out. It was actually a bit strange, Zone 2 is usually crawling with them, but it was completely empty." Jet-Star informs me.
"No way, they must be planning something," Party says, shaking his head. "There's always a few in Zone 2. Are you sure?"
"Absolutely positive. But when have the dracs ever planned something? They're brainwashed soldiers, they can't think for their lives." Ghoul ponders.
"Yeah, but something's up. First the pictures and files we found about a month ago, and now this? It's unreasonable to think that they're just taking a vacation. Something's up, I know it." I say, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. "They've got to be planning something big. They haven't been out as much lately, and when they are, they've been in huge numbers. They're up to something. Something big."
"Well I say we wait it out. Right now we don't have a lot of information, and it would be extremely dangerous to just go bust their headquarters. Let's just wait and see what happens," Party suggests.
"If we wait, we're sitting ducks!" I exclaim, standing up. "We can't just expect them to be 'oh well it looks like the Killjoys are waiting us out, let's stop gathering information about them!' No! That's stupid! If we don't do anything, they will ruin us! We need to stop the problem before it happens, Party! We can't expect them to leave us alone if we don't do anything about them!"
"So you're suggesting we go out and kill them all without a plan?" Party yells. By this time the other boys have moved out of our way and are watching us fight, probably taking bets. But at this point, I don't care.
"No, I'm saying that we do something about this! I'm not going to sit here while Better Living plans our demise! I'm not that kind of person, and I never will be. If you won't help me, I'll do it myself. I've been alone before, it won't be anything new."
"No! I'm not letting you go out there and fight by yourself, Toxic!"
"Since when have you been one to tell me what to do? I will do what I feel needs to be done, with or without you."
"No, you won't. What if you get hurt? What if you die?" he says, grabbing my wrist.
"Why do you care if I die, Party? It's nothing to you!"
He laughs in disbelief. "It's everything to me, Toxic! Can't you see? I'm in love with you!" And then, without any warning, he crashes his lips onto mine, kissing me. A million sparks ignite, and I unconsciously start to kiss him back. He tastes of coffee and sweat and dirt from the day's adventures. All of our fighting, BL, Korse, my past, everything is erased as the two of us move our lips in perfect sync. Everything feels right, and I want this moment to last forever.
But then I remember my promise to myself, and everything that just happened. And the fact that the other boys are probably staring at us, wondering what in the world is going on. I pull away, and look at him. His hazel eyes look more alive than I've ever seen, and slightly hurt that I broke our kiss. "Toxic," he breathes, but I don't let him say anything.
Before I know what I'm doing, I'm running out of the diner, tears streaming down my cheeks. All of my built up emotions are released as I cry. I don't know which is worse, the fact that he kissed me, and that I kissed him back, or the fact that I enjoyed every second of it.
I climb up onto the roof of the diner, and let my legs dangle over the edge. How did this become so messed up? If I had just stayed in my little shelter all by myself, none of this would've happened. I wouldn't have to deal with anybody else, and I could be alone. How I liked it. But no, instead I just embarrassed myself in front of the boys. Why couldn't I have just played it cool? Ugh, I'm such a screw-up. The four of them are probably in a booth inside, laughing their butts off about how stupid I acted. That's all I am-an embarrassment.
I rest my head in my palms, taking deep breaths to calm the raging storm inside of me. In, out. In, out. I can't believe he kissed me. I can't believe I kissed him back. I can't believe that after all that has happened in the past hour, the kiss is all that I can think about. Party Poison is my first kiss. If we were in any other situation, I would be thrilled. But no, we have to be in the middle of a desert wasteland with draculoids trying to kill us!
"I wasn't going to come after you, because I know you need space, but I got worried when you didn't come back," I hear Party's soft voice from behind me as he climbs the ladder up to the roof.
"Please, just go away," I say, my voice cracking as I let out a choked sob.
"Toxic, you need to stop running from everything. The boys and I? We all care about you. I care about you, okay? Listen, I know that you have trust issues," I almost laugh. That's a bit of an understatement. "But you need to know that we aren't going to leave you like Blood Beam did. I want to get to know you, Toxic. I want to understand you."
"What if I don't want you to? I've been fine on my own for years! I don't need this! I don't need you or anybody else!"
"Toxic," he starts, but I don't let him.
"I'm sorry that I ran out like that. I'm just, I'm kind of freaking out right now. I don't know what to do. I really like you Party, and I've never felt like this around anybody before, but I've already let myself become too attached to you, and I-I," I choke down another sob, and Party wraps his arms around me, and I lean my head against his shoulder.
"Listen, I understand that I probably shouldn't of said it like I did back there, but it's true. I'm in love with you, Toxic Torrent. I'm in love with the way that you laugh, the way that you aren't afraid to speak your mind, the way that you can shoot down twenty dracs without even trying. And I know that you aren't ready to open up to me like that yet. But I will not leave you, or let anyone hurt you. I realize that you've had a rough past, that you've never been able to fully trust someone. But I will always be here for you, whether you like it or not. You are an amazing girl, and I'm going to make you realize that. And the reason that I don't want you going out to fight the dracs alone is because I would die if something bad happened to you. I would never be able to forgive myself for not protecting you if something happened to you. Because I understand that you are strong and don't need someone to protect you, but that's not going to stop me."
My heart seems to stop as he says this, and I am shocked that he just confessed his love for me. It's like I'm in the middle of a romance movie, but instead of smoothly saying my next line, I am dumbfounded. But I think I'm in love with Party Poison. He understands me, and promises not to leave me.
"Party, I-I think I lo-" I start to say. I want him to know this. I want him to know that he's perfect. That he's the one person I can open up to.
"No," he cuts me off in a soft voice. "Don't tell me it back unless you're sure. I don't want to push you into this. I just needed to say it."
So I take his hand instead, and I admit to myself that I feel like this is where I belong, next to Party.
"We should probably head back soon, the boys were worried sick about you when you ran out," he informs me. So they weren't laughing about my minor freak-out. That's a relief.
"Party? Do you see that?" I say, pointing to the white car speeding down the empty road towards the diner.
He swears under his breath before nodding. "I thought they didn't come out at night!"
"It looks like we've got bigger problems than what their schedules are," I say. "That's S/C/A/R/E/C/R/OW."