Pain.
It's something I'm familiar with. It comes with each breaking day, an endless cycle for me here in the Dark Moon Pack.
The source? Well, my life went to shit a long time ago. But if I have to pin it to one thing, I'd say my stepfather, Alpha Ferix. He's the head Alpha of the Dark Moon Pack, which means his word is law. And my life is a mere plaything in his hands, something he can ruin and manipulate as much as he wants.
I fear him more than anything. He's all-powerful in my eyes. He's the one who controls my life ultimately, not me. He only allows me a small room in the basement of the house where my family used to live, where broken pipes leak through the ceiling. I've had to place five bowls throughout the room to collect the water. The sound of the dripping drives me crazy as I try to sleep, curled up in the thin holey blanket that is my bed.
It's better than being homeless, so I'm grateful for whatever I have.
I can't complain, because complaining means being beaten even more than I already am. As the omega 'runt' of the pack, I seem to get into more trouble than anyone else, but for things I can't control. And it usually ends up in punishment from Alpha Ferix.
There are so many things I can't control, one of them being my extensive harem of bullies. The teens my age in the pack make it their mission to ostracize me, to make me feel worthless. And it works. They tease me for being an omega and being weak. I already feel ashamed about that, there's no need to rub it in. But they love to rub it in.
And when the parents of the teens or other adults find out about our fights, which are more like one-sided attacks from the bullies, who gets the blame? Me. Good old me.
There was a time when I'd try to argue back, to tell Alpha Ferix that I hadn't been the one in the wrong, that it was all a misunderstanding. But my words fell on deaf ears and the hand would come down. I've learned my place in the pack, which is the bottom of the barrel.
I've learned to keep my head down, to be submissive. Omegas aren't supposed to talk back.
Alpha Ferix says he doesn't want to buy school supplies or any of the required textbooks for me so I don't go to high school with the other kids, despite being 17. I have to do whatever he tells me to do and I'm not allowed to disobey. I'm not allowed to be like the other kids.
I overhear the other kids complaining about their high school classes or how they hate PE, but I truly envy them despite their woes. They have parents who love them and food on the table every night. Alpha Ferix never feeds me. I have to steal scraps if I want to eat because I'll be beaten if he notices anything missing from the fridge.
Alpha Ferix is all I have. My legal guardian, to be exact, now that my parents are gone. But I know I'll never be able to earn his love or approval. Sure, he's the closest thing to a father to me, but our relationship is nothing like father and son. He's beat me more than he's ever loved me, beats me until he's satisfied, leaving me bloody and bruised to pick up the pieces.
I don't know if the fear will ever leave me. It's hopeless here, the dark memories are always haunting me in this house, replacing the happy days I once experienced here with my mom and dad.
Today I'm alone in the house, cleaning as usual. I can barely keep my eyes open, so tired after having not been able to sleep all night from the nightmares. Fun fact about me: I can't sleep without having nightmares. They're more like night terrors, the flashbacks within them so horrible that I jerk awake, gasping for breath. In times like those, I just...long for someone to be there, for someone to hold me as I cried. But my parents are long gone and there's no one now.
I greedily eye the big, nice bed that Alpha Ferix sleeps in; this is his room after all. I often fantasize about how it would feel to lay down on it and just sink into the soft mattress and take a nap. I know an omega like me doesn't deserve such luxury but the thought is so tempting.
It grows more and more tempting as time goes by, even as I try to concentrate on dusting the bookshelf. I last a few more minutes before the lids of my eyes flutter closed and I almost fall asleep right where I stand.
Alright, just a quick rest, I decide, letting fatigue get the better of me. Usually, I dread the thought of sleeping but right now my body is demanding it. I walk over to the bed and plop down on it, my small figure only taking up less than a 1/5 portion of the bed. It's giant, a king-size made for alphas because I'm 5'4" and when laying down on it there's like three feet of room left under my feet to the end of the bed.
Hunger is gnawing at my stomach because I haven't been able to eat all day. But it feeds into the exhaustion that overpowers the hunger and I'm out like a light. I don't know how long I sleep but soon I'm roughly awakened. My eyes fly open as I'm yanked off the bed by my hair and thrown to the floor.
"Stupid fucking runt. Do you think I let you stay in my home so you can fucking sleep in my bed?!" Alpha Ferix growls at me, eyes bright with anger as he glares down at me.
Thé mère raising of his voice combined with the pain I already feel makes me tear up. I hate that I cry so easily. It makes me feel so pathetic. "I-I'm sorry, Alpha Ferix..!" I say as I try to hold back my tears. I know it'll make him more angry if I cry.
"You will be sorry after I'm done with you," the older man snarls, pulling out a belt from one of the drawers. From past experience, I know that he keeps it there for easy access. The sight of it fills me with terror. I don't want it. I don't want to be whipped. Anything but that. It hurts so much when he does it. I curse myself for being lazy. If I hadn't been it wouldn't have come to this.
"You want to be a slacker, huh? Well, I'm gonna show you what happens to little runts who disobey." The alpha comes forward, menacing as he twists the belt in his hands.
I'm still on the floor, the strength to stand having left my legs. As Alpha Ferix approaches I scramble back until I hit a wall, feebly attempting to get away.
"Now don't you try to run from me. It's your fault I've had to resort to this," Alpha Ferix leers.
It is my fault. I know it, too. If I wasn't such an excuse for a werewolf, the pathetic little omega I am, then maybe things would be different. Maybe I would be loved. But I'm not different. Alpha Ferix has told me time and time again that no one will ever love me and it's true.
Still, I plead for mercy. "P-please, no," I cry, hands up before me, trying to shield myself from the oncoming assault. "I'll do better! I promise," Tears are streaming down my face by now as I try to make the alpha see reason.
Alpha Ferix just gives me a cold glare as he raises the belt and I scream. As I see it coming toward me, I'm overrun by a sudden pump of adrenaline and I roll out of the way. That's my first mistake.
Thé action enrages Alpha Ferix. He snarls and lunges after me, furious that I'm trying to evade punishment. I manage to scramble to my feet, running to the other side of the room where the door is. I need to get out now! But just as I reach the door I feel a hand on my arm, yanking me back painfully and then I'm being flipped around and slammed against the door. My head collides with the hardwood, the impact so hard that I see stars, my vision going blurry for a moment as pain arcs through my skull.
"I'm going to kill you." The man snarls, pulling something shiny out of his pocket. I only realize what it is when the cool metal is pressed to my throat, and if he apples any more pressure the knife blade will puncture my skin.
I sputter and struggle, hands clawing desperately at the his arms, desperate to get him off and the knife away from my neck. The alpha laughs at me. "Should've of done this a long time ago,"
When I see the murderous look in his eyes I can tell he's serious. It's not like the other times when he just beats me around and threatens it. He's actually going to do it this time. And it hits me that I'm going to die if this keeps up.
In one last attempt to get away, I reach my right hand out, searching for anything that I can grasp. My hearts going a mile a minute but then my fingers close around a clay vase of some sort, I vaguely remember seeing it in the room before. With all my might, I yank it it up and smash the vase against Alpha Ferix's head.
The howl He let's out is ear-shattering as he lets go of me, knife dropping to the ground as his hands go to cradle the torrent of blood running down his temple.
"Little bitch!" He curses at me where I stand, in shock at what I've done, looking down at my trembling hands.
The blow isn't enough to deter him for long. The alpha is already getting up and staggering towards me. I go for the doorknob, pulling the door open and dashing out, hyperventilating as tears stream down my face. What have I done? I've never fought back like that and now that I have I've realized how shitty it feels to hurt someone. Watching the blood stream from a wound I've inflicted, it makes me sick. So sick and guilty but I have to keep running. I race down the stairs and out the back door, leaving it thrown open.
The cool air of the night blasts against my face as I run out into the grass, towards the dark forest that looms ahead. It's dangerous, with rogues prowling the woods at night, but what I'm running from will do far worse to me than any rogue.
I feel my bones crack, shifting into my wolf and my paws meet the dirt. My fur is ash-white, just like my hair in human form, so I'm pretty easy to spot by predators and my wolf is also on the smaller side, to my chagrin. I'm not very threatening but I'm faster as a wolf so it will have to do. My head is still throbbing like crazy, but I need to get away. Alpha Ferix almost killed me just now and will finish the deed if he gets his hands on me again.