Y/N POV
I lay passed out groaning, that's the last time I enter a drinking competition with Ginit. My misery is put at ease by something on my behind.
Y/N: *laughs* "I know you'd come around Glynda."
I let her work when I feel something bite my ass.
Y/N: "Wait a second, these ain't Glynda's teeth!!!!"
My eyes shoot open and I slap my violator. The Ursa runs away yelping while I scream at it.
Y/N: "At least buy me a drink first, don't be like Bill Cosby!!!!"
I get up and walk back into Beacon. When I get there I see everyone taking their weapons out of lockers. I look through each isle until I see Ruby.
Y/N: "Ruby!!!"
Ruby: "Y/N!!!"
We run to each other and do our super secret handshake.
Handshake:
Ruby: "You remembered!"
Y/N: "Course I did. I'd never forget a handshake I spent hours practicing with my best friend."
Yang: "We've got a handshake too!!!"
Y/N: "Really? I don't recall making one. What is it?"
Yang:
My jaw drops in horror as I shield Ruby's eyes from this degeneracy. I then morph Yang into a foot ball and punt her out of the building.
Ruby: "Y/N, can you teach me how to be a rebel now?"
I look at her as I slam my cattle drafter sending her into attention. I then pace in front of her with an Vietnam war helmet on.
Y/N: "Listen up Rookie! My job is to mold you into the ultimate rebel! Do you understand!?!"
Ruby: *meekly* "Y-yes sir."
Y/N: "I can't hear you, sound off like you're proud!!!"
Ruby: *salutes* "Sir yes sir!!!"
Y/N: "Private Ruby why'd you wanna join my beloved corps!?"
Ruby: "Sir to be a rebel sir!"
Y/N: "So you're a rebel!? Well then, tell me the baddest thing you've done!"
Ruby: *pauses* "W-Well, when I was little my mom said to go to bed at eight. I didn't end up going to bed until eight o'one."
Y/N: "Not good enough private!!!"
Ruby: "Sir when I was allowed one cookie I took two sir!"
Y/N: *disgusted gasp* "You demon."
I pull out my scroll and place a call.
Y/N: "Yes police, I've got a criminal you might like."
Ruby:
Ruby: "No don't take me to prison! I'm too young!!!! Mommy!!!!!"
I snort before bursting into laughter.
Y/N:
*0:41 - 0:55*
Ruby: *waterfall tears* "Why're you laughing!?!?!?!"
Y/N: "I'm not sending you to prison. It's too dangerous for a sweet girl like you."
She calms down but sulks in the corner over getting pranked. I turn around and head towards the second best red head in the show.
Weiss: "This is Pyrrha."
Pyrrha: "Hello again."
A heart appears behind me with an arrow piercing it.
Y/N: *crying* "It's too cute!!!!!"
Weiss: "So, do you still think you're qualified to have her on a team?"
Y/N: "I think so frosty the snow bitch."
Weiss: "Excuse me!?!?!"
Y/N: "Oh did you fart?"
I ignore her death glare and focus on Pyrrha.
Y/N: *combs hair* "Well hello beautiful."
A blush explodes onto her face when Weiss screams.
Weiss: "She's a celebrity!!! You should treat her as such!!!!"
Y/N: "Why so serious Weiss? Why don't we put a smile on that face?"
I creep towards her until she runs away screaming. I laugh at her torment when I hear Glynda's lovely voice.
Glynda: *on PA* "All first years report to Beacon Cliff."
I run to my future wife and don't listen to what they say. Instead I focus on Glynda and her tight body being contained in her outfit. Only after she stops moving is when I notice everyone already gone.
Y/N: "Where is everyone?"
Ozpin: "Off to complete initiation. Now it's your turn."
Y/N: "I don't wanna."
Glynda: "Do it and I'll let you sleep with me."
Y/N: "Say less!!!!"
I pull out a brick of PCP. I slit it open and take a mighty huff. I then toss it away and scream.
Y/N: "Yeaaaaahhhhh! Now watch me fly!!!"
*1:17 - 1:31*
I run in slow motion and jump right as the I believe line hits.
Y/N: "I fly like the wind."
My reality is shattered when the cold hand of gravity smites me out of the sky and sends me tumbling down the long hill.