6
Tahj
Everyone stood outside and night was falling things were going good as I saw Mecca took one last sip of his drink and rest it down. He walked over to Drea as he pulled her directly in the middle of the grass where all the lights intersect.
I watched closely as a look of confusion blew over her and I couldn't help but smile.
Everyone's attention now laid on them.
I watched as she looked at him lost and he mouthed something to her.
He reached into his pocket and got down on one knee. The "ouu" and "awwes" began.
"Drea, my love," He started
"The mother of my child, you're my heart, all I've ever asked for in a woman. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky and blessed I am to call you mine now today I wanna be blessed with the privilege to call you my wife," He said by now as her hand clasped over her mouth and her eyes began to gloss up.
"I hope to give, Mekhi and our future kids the best, I promise that I would be the best for y'all. I just wanna say that my love and appreciation for you goes beyond baby...."
"I'm asking...
"Andrea Winston to become Andrea Malcom." She stood there in shock as the water works began.
She started shaking her head and before I knew it she gave everyone the answer they were looking for.
"Yes...." She spoke breaking down in tears as Mecca slipped the lovely dimepiece on her finger.
I wiped my eyes unaware of the tears that streamed down my face. I was so happy and emotional. Everyone started clapping and soon the congratulations started.
I'd hope someday to be surrounded by this same level of love.
"Bitch you gone be a maid of honor." She spoke coming over to me as I grabbed and hugged her tightly.
"I'm so happy for you. We're officially becoming sisters." I chimed crying.
"We been sisters girl." She laughed.
"You knew and ain't even hinted at me" she pulled away."
"If you knew something it wasn't gone be as good as it was now wouldn't it?" I pursed my lips.
"She right." Remi interjected.
"Imma be this mans whole wife."
"Lemme see that rock." My mamma spoke in love with it as her and Miss Gladys came over.
"Congratulations baby." She spoke kissing her cheek thank you.
"Ouu we got a wedding to plan." Asia drank from her cup.
"You know it" I spoke giving her a five as Drea laughed.
"This feels so unreal." she stood there shaking her head.
"I know that feeling." Remi and Drea caught on and laughed.
"You did your thing." I spoke as Mecca walked over to us showing off his teeth.
"Partial thanks to your lil ass." He said coming in for a hug.
"I'll admit that."
"Walk with me." He spoke and I have him a funny look before I nodded slowly.
"Excuse us." He said to them as we entered the house.
"You my baby sister Tahjae, you the baby of the family. You and Asia are my heart and there ain't nothing I ain't gone do for yuh." He said and I looked at him confused.
"I wouldn't hesitate on anything when it comes to the people I love."
"Mecca it's ok. I really don't want y'all to feel like it's something whe-"
"Nah Tahj it ain't ok. What happened- how it happened, wasn't right."
"Mecca this is a beautiful night and I don't want that being spoiled with something so unnecessary." I tried to tell him as we were now headed towards the front door.
He opened the front door and there was the black heavily tinted G wagon, I didn't have to ask because I knew.
"You love me like a sister but you put me in harms way?" He cracked a smile and shook his head.
"I trust that nigga with my life, I admit that I was blinded by what exactly was goin' on and I let business take control, but it doesn't change the fact that he showed me real and came through for me every time." He spoke seriously. I sighed and walked out as he came behind.
"Just get what you're owed, you don't gotta be friends of no sort but you deserve it." He said walking me to the door.
"And what if it's not what I wanna hear?"
"Sometimes what we don't wanna hear is what we need to." He opened the door and there he sat. Mecca nodded to him as he did the same back and walked away.
Taking a final look at him I got in and closed the door as the weed and cologne aroma circulated through the a.c.
It was silent as he pulled off we drove like this for atleast ten minutes before I looked over at him, his hair was pulled into a high bun as he stared emotionless with low eyes, he was obviously high. Turning my gaze out the window I saw in my peripheral him taking glances of me every now and then.
"You good?" I heard him say as I looked over to him and simply nodded.
"Yea..." I answered lowly.
It was crazy considering that the last time that we'd rode together like this was the day that my heart was instantly ripped out of my chest.
This alone was too much for me.
Soon we pulled up to the pier near the bridge onlooking the city. It was moment of silence for a bit until I heard him shifting around for a mere second.
"I had to, even tho it wasn't much of a choice Tahjae." He sighed.
This moment was a lot for me and it had me questioning myself if I was even ready for this.
"My mama wasn't having allat shit..." He started.
"I wasn't the nigga to be fuckin' with no feds so protection from them wasn't enough." I looked over at him as he rubbed his hand through his beard.
"I never wanted to leave you. Especially like that." I watched him closely as he bit at his lip.
"I loved yo ass Tahjae. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that I ain't messed around..." he paused "but it was you over everybody..." I looked over at him as my vision blurred and he stared back at me.
"I was in a coma for about two weeks, on a tube for at least a month and they took my ass outta there. That was it. I ain't had no warning. No say. No nothin'."
"I couldn't say goodbye, everyone thought that it was best for me."
"Everyone, my mama, my grandmother all em' had they say except for me. I really never picked up and just left you Tahjae." He said keeping his full gaze on me.
"I heard shit. I knew they talked they shit bout chu' and I'm sorry I wasn't there to defend and protect you like I was 'pose to."
"Eventually I came back. I couldn't make shit right like I wanted to. Timing was hella' off, and I figured you was on your way..." He spoke with almost sounding like he'd regretted it.
"I had to come back to you, was long enough. Shit was heavily overdue." He shook his head.
"I just didn't know how." He finished.
"You can't just do that." I shook my head at him trying to hold back.
"You just can't..." my voice cracked.
"I was sooo in love with you. Physically I moved on but emotionally I could never. It hurt so bad that you left and was able to live your best life while I struggled with all the backlash and hate."
"I had no one, you left and didn't look back." I spoke and he shook his head.
"That's not true. The money my mama gave your mama to take care of you?" He questioned.
"So my mama knew-"
"She ain't know nothin', she just thought it was my motha's generosity." He spoke giving me the most sincere look as if he'd hope I'd understand, but I really couldn't.
"I'll pay it back b-"
"It ain't about no fuckin' money Tahjae." He spoke angry now with his voice raised causing me to jump.
Memories immediately started flooding my mind of how timid I use to be of him. To do or do the wrong thing. It's just that when it came to messing around or playing with him, I avoided it.
"It's me telling you that I never forgot your ass. It's me telling you that I love you...understand that." He pleaded.
"You had me lookin' so stupid E, like a fool." I cried to him.
"I thought you loved me b-"
"Tahjae I was in love with yo' ass. Fact is I'm still in love withcho ass. I knew it was hard and fucked up for you but for me that shit ate me, a new bitch every other fuckin' night that couldn't come close to you." He gritted through his teeth.
"Or was it me tryna convince myself that I didn't love you, tryna push you inda' back of my head to convince myself that you were the past. But shit is Tahjae, I failed to realize you was my heart man. That's all it is to it." He spoke in all seriousness and I shook my head.
"You don't get to do that."
"You don't get to play with me twice." I heard him sigh.
"I was so hurt, I couldn't eat, I lost a whole lot a weight. Sick like I had some disease." I spoke exhaling.
"Tahj nothing I say is gonna fix shit I did. And not on no fuck shit but I'm not trying to fix shit I did. I wanna move forward. Especially with you. If I had shit my way it wouldn't have been like this." He spoke low.
I didn't know how to feel about that, I just couldn't 'move on' from this any of it.
"E just take me back..." I shook my head telling him.
"Nah, you finna sit cho' ass here and talk to me like the grown woman you been claiming to be." I couldn't say that I wasn't taken back but I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"E I'll be honest." He raised his brow as if giving me his undivided attention.
"I've missed you, I loved you and you were my heart. But you don't know what half of it's been like for me. I don't want this, nothing of it, not a relationship not a friendship no nothing." He cocked his head to the side as if there were two of me, then all the sudden his face was cold and emotionless.
I was scared.
"I swear to you all I want is my sanity and happiness and I think it's best if I do that without you E, it's really too much that I don't want dug up."
"I just want my happiness E..." I spoke truthfully.
He nodded as he looked stared straight and silence completely took over. I just could never do this again, I couldn't.
"Tahjae I just wanted to get my truth to you. I'an tryna force shit on you either. But what I won't do is parade around like I ain't had my share in your hurt."
I was not about to do this...
"It's honestly nothing E." I sniffed wiping my eyes careful of my makeup, I really didn't want any questions when I get back.
"It's the past. We can leave it at that and continue about our separate ways."
He stared at me for a good minute, almost as if he was trying to figure me out. Shaking his head he turned on the car on without saying anything.
I couldn't do this. Not like this.
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