Saniya Morale -
"Saniya"
I was woken up out of my sleep from knocking.
"Saniya can I come in" I heard as I put a pillow over my head.
The door started opening.
"Get the fuck out" I said as I covered my body up more.
"Rosita said I could just come in" I heard as my bed dipped.
"I didn't say you could sit on my bed" I said as I uncovered my face to look at the person.
"My bad I just wanted to talk to you" Kentrell said
"About what" I said as I got up and brushed my teeth.
"The day we met"
"What about it" I said as I finished and laid against my head board.
I'm just now realizing I have on a sports bra and fuzzy pants.
Oh fucking well I'm comfortable ain't nobody tell his ass to come in here.
I grabbed a project I've been working on.
"What I'm going to assume was your dad-"
Before he finished I interrupted.
"That wasn't my dad, please don't assume" he nods and apologizes before continuing.
"If you don't mind me asking did he do anything to hurt you" he asked as he stared at my expressions.
Anything to hurt me
The countless times he's put me down
Hit me
Raped me
Made me feel less than
He hurt me physically and mentally and I can't do anything about it.
"You could say that"
Would opening up make me feel better ?
Would he use it against me ?
Think less of me ?
Pity me ?
"You can sit" I said cause he got up, I took a deep breathe.
"Can I tell you something" I said as I put my sewing kit on the floor.
"Anything" he said as he turned his whole body to me.
"That's my moms boyfriend she replaced my dad with him .. he used to rape me and beat me as well .. put me down every time he could, my mom chose him over me and my sister, and didn't believe me and my sister when we told her what he did to us and my sister ended up killing herself" I said as I played with my hands in my lap.
"I'm sorry to hear that" he said as he touched my back.
"I also faint sometimes and I like to pretend to be other people it kinda helps me cope to see what it would be like to be someone else, be in a different reality" I say and look at him.
He's looking at me so intensely.
"Sorry you probably think I'm weird."
"No, no it's okay I don't I would never judge" he said as he rubbed my back softly.
"Um thank you for listening" I said as I looked into his eyes.
It was easy with him.
"You're a good listener" I smiled and looked at him.
"Thank you I try .. so are you and Rosita a thing" he asked
"I'm not sure we act like one but idk if we are idk how she feels about me she probably just sees me as a quick fuck .. I like her she's nice" I said as I zone out and ramble.
"I think you should ask her she probably likes you"
"Okay I'll ask"
•••
~ 5 years later ~
"NANA" I heard Sintry yell
"yes papa" I said as I let my voice echo throughout the house.
"What did you call me" he said as he stared at my face.
"Shut up and don't make a big deal what do you want man" I said as I get in the bar stool and twirl around.
"I need you to do me a favor and visit your mom for me" he said as he leaned against the bar counter.
"No" I said immediately as I hopped down and went around the counter grabbing Hennessy.
"I'm not going back there"
"Please I need you to get something for me I got her a long time ago and I know you left a few things" he said as he pleaded with his eyes.
"Only if you and Kentrell come" I said as I look at kentrell sitting on the couch.
"I'm down" he said as he briefly looked up from his phone.
"Okay we fly in 2 hrs get ready"
"Boy huh you didn't even know if I was gonna say yes or not" I said as I stared at him.
"Don't call me that Nana" he said as he walked away
"GET READY" he yelled from down the hall.
"OKAY NIGGA SHUT UP" I said as I chugged the rest of my henny.
I heard heavy foot steps coming into the living room.
I saw him peek around the corner.
"What you say to me girl" he said as he came in full view.
"Nothing" I said as I ran away laughing.
I really don't want to have to see her again.
~ 30 minutes later ~
I finished packed and I'm not sure if Rosita knows we're leaving for Atlanta.
I'm walking around my room seeing if I need anything else.
"PAPA!" I yelled down the hall because I didn't feel like walking to look for him.
"WHAT!" He yelled back from wherever he was.
"WHERE YOU AT" I yelled again and waited for his response.
"LIVINGROOM"
I walk to the living room and see him on the couch.
"How long are we staying in Atlanta papa" I asked my dad.
"I'm not sure try to pack for a week" he said as he scrolled through his phone.
I felt a presence trying to creep up on me.
I turn around and put my knife to their throat .. it was just Rosita.
"I'm sorry Ro" I said as I put my knife back in my pocket.
"You can't creep up on me like that" I said as I took a deep breathe.
She just stared at me like I was dumb.
"I need to talk to you Saniya" she said as she made eye contact with me.
"Me too" I said as I followed her upstairs.
"Let's go in my room I still have to pack" we walked into my room and she closed the door behind us.
Her hands started to roam my body. I looked down at them and see them going down my stomach.
"Rosita .. I don't want to" I said and her hands stopped moving.
"Why we haven't done it in awhile" she said as she sat in the chair by my bookcase.
"I wanted to talk to you and I still have to pack for Atlanta" I said as I grabbed my suitcase out my closet.
I took the things out my bag and put them in the suitcase.
"Why are you going to Atlanta" she said as she stood up.
"To get something for my dad from my mom" I went into the bathroom and got my soaps and stuff.
"Okay whatever" she said with an attitude.
"What's with the attitude Ro" I said as I looked at her.
"I just miss you and your body" she said as her hands started roaming my body again.
"Rosita stop I said I didn't want to" I said as I scrunched up my face.
"What's the matter with you, do you like that dent headed boy now" she said with venom laced in her tone.
"If you're gonna fucking act like that Rosita get out my room" I said as I turned my whole body to her.
Why is she acting like that
Don't cry
"I'm sorry I got carried away" she said as she tried to hug me.
"Don't- .. don't touch me" I said as I grabbed a book off my bookshelf and put it in my suitcase.
"I just wanted to talk Ro" I put more black clothes in my bag, a few wife beaters.
We should steal clothes from Kentrell.
Or dad.
"About what" she say criss cross on the floor and looked at me.
Fuck she looks good
"Get up Ro" her hands traveled up my legs.
I grabbed her chin.
"Get up." I said firmly as we made eye contact.
She huffed.
"I wanted to ask if you like me" I said as I packed some shoes and comfortable pants.
"Of course I do look at you" she said as her eyes raked my body.
I laughed and rolled my eyes.
"Get out" I said as I immediately stopped laughing.
"What I complimented you" she asked confused.
"I asked if you liked me Rosita and you basically said yes cause of my body, get the fuck out of my room" I said as I looked off to the side.
"I love you Saniya" she said as she stroked my cheek.
I pull my face out of her grip.
As soon as she walked out I closed the door and locked it, I put my back against it and broke down.
She lied.
Why are you crying.
Fuck her.
I wipe my face and as soon as I'm getting up there's a knock at my door.
I unlock it and go back to my suitcase.
"Come in" I said pretty loud so the person on the other side could here.
The door opens and it's Kentrell with no shirt on.
"Please go put on a shirt" I said as I took a slow breathe in.
"My bad I'll be right back" he said as he closed the door.
I continued to pack ..
•••
Once I was done I laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling.
"Alexa play my music on Apple Music" I said because I hate silence.
She started playing Daemons by XXXTENTACION & Kemba ft Joey Bada$$
Someone knocked at the door again.
When I didn't answer whoever it was just opened my door.
I look over and see Kentrell stomping over towards me.
"What-" I tried to say before he grabbed my throat.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Saniya" he said as he stared into my eyes.
I quickly hit him in his chest and he immediately let go.
I grabbed my knives from off my nightstand.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Kentrell" I said as I tried to catch my breathe.
"Why the fuck would you tell Rosita about my mom, I told you that in confidence and you turn around and tell other people too." he said as he looked away from me.
"I trusted you Nana." he said as he turned his back towards me and starts to leave.
I ran up behind him and grab his arm.
"I didn't tell anyone anything I pinkie promise." I said as I made us make eye contact.
"I swear I didn't tell anyone anything." I said as I stared at him.
"Then how the fuck does she know Niya"
I started playing with my fingers.
"I don't know" I said as I started to get a migraine.
He was bringing up past memories I was tryna to keep out of my head.
"Can you sit please" I said as I looked at the floor to avoid eye contact.
He just stood there staring at me.
Like I was crazy
Does he think I'm crazy
Brandon used to do the exact same thing, he would do something to me and then look at me as if I was in the wrong.
I was always the one that ended up apologizing.
"I'm sorry" I said as I looked down.
"It's okay I believe you" he said as he hugged me.
I was too scared to hug back I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to make him more mad so I hugged him back.
"You don't want to hug me?" He asked
"I do .. I'm just scared" Might as well tell the truth.
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