***reader insert
It seemed as though Kylo was gone for ages, fear crept in my mind wondering the deepest of fears 'what if it was a trap, what if he didn't return.'
Impatience grew ever stronger until finally, a small black figure appears from just beyond the darkened space across the planet, Swift step after step outlined his frame more and more until I could see every bit of the stern look upon his face.
Something must have happened, that can't be good, could it?
Stomping up the fighters ramp walking right past my seemingly invisible self, collapsing into the pilot's seat he wastes no time starting the ship, putting his coordinates into the system, and closing the ramp.
Slowly walking towards him leaning myself against the wall watching intently as the fighter lifts from the surface of the planet and hovers before soaring back out into space, staring blankly into the stars wondering just where we could be off to now.
Finally speaking breaking the silence with thoughts directed straight to Kylo's mind "I was getting worried about you, you know."
Instantly startled his movement nearly jerks the ship sideways, shooting a sideways glance finally seeing me "You have got to stop sneaking up on me like that! You could have killed us both!"
A moment of silence fills the ship as it finally clicks, flashing glances in my direction his face going completely ghost-white while trying to fumble with his words "I...I'm...I didn't mean..." turning around trying to compose myself only to hear the autopilot switching on and him shuffling to his feet slowly making his way towards my back.
"(Y/n) please I didn't mean it like that I wasn't thinking. Please..." slowly turning around hand pressed firmly against my mouth ultimately unable to hold back any longer suddenly bursting out with laughter which filled every space within the ship.
Unable to stop I just keep laughing and laughing attempting to catch the breath I don't need while poorly mocking him "YoU CouLd HavE kiLLed uS!" Waving my ghostly hands in the air poorly intimidating a spirit, a twinge of anger sparks his across his face just as fast the space between us immediately disappears, finger pointed to my face Kylo so close we'd be completely squished if I had been alive "that's not funny. You're lucky I can't touch you."
Blushing momentarily before the realization that he in fact can't touch me sets upon both our faces while our eyes focus upon each other's, just as quick as the anger appeared it faded even quicker.
Standing very still for quite some time whispering into the dark "oh what I'd give to feel your touch again...unspeakable things... anything for you..." slowly rising a hand gently caressing his cheek, slowly his eyes close and a wide smile forms across his face letting that cute little gap between his canines peek through before his hand engulfs the shape of what would be mine.
Memory tells me of the soft freckled cheek beneath my touch, of the sharp contour of his jaw, but senses once again fail me as there's almost no real connection at all. Nothing like in his dreams, nothing like I wish everything to feel just once more.
Sighing deeply even quieter now "do you feel it? The warmth? If I think about it hard enough I could swear it's there..." smiling up at the man I love noticing that he's actually feeling the warmth of his own hand where mine should be.
Not ruining the moment only softly responding "I feel it yes...." but that something was only regret longing and heartbreak. Pulling away he leisurely walks back towards the pilot's seat once again only this time less collapsing and more ease, sighing heavily staring out into space barely mumbling "come, sit."
Confused but obedient making my way towards his lap lightly laying horizontally across it, knowing neither of us could feel the other just imagining the sensation was there, the closeness of our bodies brought back by remembrance.
The ship still on autopilot coasting throughout space slowly, allowing enough time to pass between misplaced lovers as they take each moment with significance.
At some point Kylo wrapped his cloak around the figure of "us" rocking gently back and forth before reluctantly bobbing his head up and down trying his damnedest not to nod off, it was no use and after a few last jerks the rise and fall of his chest slowed and the hand hovering upon what should be my hip falls into his lap giving way that he'd fallen into a deep slumber.
***
Time passes while silently watching him sleep, head hanging uncomfortably with long dark hair framing most of his face barely showing the small part in his lips that lets soft snores escape them.
What a beautiful man he is, never knowing his own beauty and that's probably in my favor, would I have ever pulled someone like him if he'd known? Nuzzling closer wishing with everything that I could feel the warmth radiating from his chest, but no this life I've been thrown into only teases me with such luxuries.
Remembering how cold space was, how cold inside fighter must be only made me fantasize more of past lives warmth. Days spent basking outside on my home planet, how the heat from the sun would wash over covering my whole body in its rays of heat, oh how I've missed the feeling of hot food or drinks something never given much thought before...before this...and cozy blankets, warm hugs, late nights spent tightly in the arms of someone you love.
But most of all I miss the cool feeling of sleek porcelain sliding across my back as I dip down into a steaming bath, those nights on Starkiller enjoying the splendor of the first order.
Memory teases me as I close my eyes, deeply inhaling while my mind remembers the smell of eucalyptus, humming softly hands rise around my chest imitating the motion of scrubbing with all of Kylo's special oils and soaps.
The recollection was so strong it conjures up the exact placements of the bathroom, the blood-red tiles, the dark fixtures, every inch of its space brought to life before my very eyes.
Reaching across the floor grabbing for the corner of a towel, cleaning my eyes surely I'm mistaken, soft hands embrace my hips from behind sending tingles cascading across my back. Water slowly sloshes around the tub and the solid frame of Kylo caresses me from behind, it's this that gives way to what's happening, it's a dream of course, and a damn good one.
Gentle lips softly press against my back while he mumbles into my skin "mmm you again..." this time every movement is slow thought out and planned, for both of us too afraid to ruin the moment.
Instantly the lights fade, candles appear and the tub lines with bubbles, questioning out loud "what... how?" Low chuckles ripple across my shoulder "we're in a dream remember? Anything can happen if I will it too."
Lightly sliding my hair out of the way his lips meet the edge of my earlobe, whispering "and right now this is what I've imagined, you here, in my arms...(sigh)...wet...(sighing again)...naked..." between the last three words those heavy sighs brush against my skin, instantly my body reacts.
Something I haven't felt in ages, all the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up and the skin on my arms prickle with excitement flowing to my nipples which promptly get hard.
Leaning back into his embrace him pulling me against him, the hard outline of his body pressed against mine, every inch more defined than I ever remember, the creases of his hips, the strength of those thighs engulfing my own, and even more noticeable is the slow-growing hardened imprint pushing against my lower back.
Involuntarily my hips respond with one drawn out grind against him with a soft whimper that follows "we shouldn't..." another slow grind forces the deepest groan into my neck as one hand slides up across my stomach dragging his palms over my breasts before lightly gripping along my throat
"and why shouldn't we? After all it seems we have no choice...the subconscious wants what the subconscious wants..."
biting my lip that warm sensation starts between my legs "we don't even know if something like that is possible here Kylo..." again his lips meet my skin, kissing deeper and deeper sucking at my neck.
Body trembling as his free hand snakes around my hip inching closer and closer between my legs, fingers moving in light strokes along my outer lips prove that even in dreams those sensations are also very much real. Fingers part their way between my folds gently finding that sweet spot, head falling back against his shoulder a quiet moan slips from my mouth.
Circling my clit slowly, making sure I feel each swirl of sensation "seems as if it is..." a thousand sparks flutter along my skin having not felt such pleasure in months every ouch of me longing for his touch. The hand around my throat drops momentarily to grasps around my breasts, squeezing and massaging them within his hand, groaning against my neck the feeling of his member twitching against my back.
Round and round his finger goes adding more pressure as he knows exactly how to drive me wild, low moans now fill the room from the more worked up I become. 'Did this feel as good as this before? How could I ever have gone without this?!'
Lowering his free hand further and further down past the twirling around my clit until one of his fingers drives into my core immediately provoking the jerk of my hips up back against his shaft, another moan escapes this time louder than before. Slow pumps in and out as his finger inches deeper and deeper inside me, body reacting as I grind myself against both hands begging for more pleasure.
Humming into my shoulder "that's my good girl..." how any of this was even possible neither of us knew but at this very moment we weren't going to question it.
Fingers still working on my pleasure bringing me closer and closer to the edge, feeling myself pulsate begging "I'm so close...don't stop..." the faster his fingers pumped the harder my ass rubbed against his cock, deep grunts into my back proved the friction was becoming too much for him.
Round and round fingers twirled around my clit speeding up to match the pump of his other hand as I moaned louder and louder gripping onto the sides of the tub knuckles white and red chest heaving I could feel my orgasm building.
Legs beginning to shake the trembling moves up forcing my whole body to quiver as my walls clench around his fingers, the sounds of my orgasm filled the room heavily mixed with deep low groans. Ass jerking against him riding out the high excited to please him next, knowing I've missed the taste of him sliding down my throat.
But instead the scene was suddenly ripped away, no red walls, no warm bath, no Kylo. Frustrated slapping my hands against the veil in anger "why?! What happened this time!! It was just getting good!!"
Quickly the window into his world vanishes and I'm left to sit in silence body still shaking, walls still pulsating, the feeling of him was real, the orgasm was real and I'm going to find a way to stop these fucking interruptions from happening one way or another.