The anthem boomed in her ears, and then she heard Caesar Flickerman greeting the audience.
Did he know how crucial it was to get every word right from now on?
He must.
He would want to help them.
The crowd broke into applause as the prep teams were presented.
Livia imagined Flavius, Venia, and Octavia bouncing around and taking ridiculous, bobbing bows.
It was a safe bet they were clueless.
Then Effie was introduced.
Portia and Cinna received huge cheers, of course, they had been brilliant- had a dazzling debut.
Livia now understood Cinna's choice of dress for her for tonight.
She would need to look as girlish and innocent as possible.
Haymitch's appearance brought a round of stomping that went on at least five minutes.
Well, he had accomplished a first.
Keeping not only one but two tributes alive.
What if he hadn't warned Livia in time?
Would she have acted differently?
Flaunted the moment with the berries in the Capitol's face?
No, she didn't think so.
And then she could feel the plate lifting her up to the stage.
Blinding lights.
The deafening roar rattled the metal under her feet.
Then there was Peeta just a few yards away.
He looked so clean and healthy and beautiful, Livia could hardly recognize him.
But his smile was the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when she saw it, she took about three steps and flung herself into his arms.
He staggered back, almost losing his balance, and that was when Livia realized the slim, metal contraption in his hand was some kind of cane.
He righted himself and they just clung to each other while the audience went insane.
He was kissing Livia and all the time she was thinking-
Do you know?
Do you know how much danger we're in?
After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taped on Peeta's shoulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushed him aside without even glancing at him.
The audience went berserk.
Livia felt overall ethereal in the intimate closeness with Peeta- that she had never imagined, but had always craved.
Finally, Haymitch interrupted them and gave them a good-natured shove toward the victor's chair.
Usually, it was a single, ornate chair from which the winning tribute watched a film of the highlights of the Games, but since there were two of them, the Gamemakers had provided a plush red velvet couch.
A small one- Livia's mother would call it a love seat, she thought.
She sat so close to Peeta that she was practically on his lap.
Kicking off her sandals, she tucked her feet to the side and leant her head against Peeta's shoulder.
His arm went around her automatically, and she felt like she was back in the cave- curled up against him, trying to keep warm.
His shirt was made of the same yellow material as Livia's dress, but Portia had put him in long black pants.
No sandals, either, but a pair of sturdy black boots he kept solidly planted on the stage.
Livia wished Cinna had given her a similar outfit- she felt so vulnerable in the flimsy dress.
But she guessed that was the point.
Caesar Flickerman made a few more jokes, and then it was time for the show.
It would last exactly three hours and was required viewing for all of Panem.
As the lights dimmed and the seal appeared on the screen, Livia realized she was unprepared for it.
She didn't want to watch her twenty-two fellow tributes die.
She had saw enough of them die the first time.
Her heart started pounding and she had a strong impulse to run.
How had the other victors faced this alone?
During the highlights, they periodically showed the winner's reaction up on a box in the corner of the screen.
Livia thought back to earlier years-
Some were triumphant, pumping their fists in the air, beating their chests.
Most just seem stunned.
All Livia knew was that the only thing keeping her on that love seat was Peeta- his arm around her shoulder, his other hand claimed by both of her own.
Of course, the previous victors didn't have the Capitol looking for a way to destroy them.
Condensing several weeks into three hours was quite a feat, especially when you consider how many cameras were going at once.
Whoever put together the highlights had to choose what sort of story to tell.
This year, for the first time, they tell a love story.
Livia knew she and Peeta had won, but a disproportionate amount of time was spent on them, right from the beginning.
She was glad though, because it meant they wouldn't have as much time to linger over the deaths.
The first half hour or so focused on the pre-arena events, the reaping, the chariot ride through the Capitol, their training scores, and their interviews.
There was this sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under it that made it twice as awful because, of course, almost everyone on-screen was dead.
Once they were in the arena, there was detailed coverage of the bloodbath and then the filmmakers basically alternated between shots of tributes dying and shots of them.
Mostly Peeta really.
Now Livia saw what the audience saw, all the things he did- for her
Even while he laid in that mud bank, he whispered her name in his sleep.
Livia seemed heartless in comparison- blowing up supplies and such- until she went hunting for Rue.
They played her death in full, the spearing, Livia's failed rescue attempt, her disc through Marvel's throat, Rue drawing her last breath in Livia's arms.
And the song.
She got to sing every note of the song.
Something inside her shut down and she was too numb to feel anything.
It was like watching complete strangers in another Hunger Games.
But Livia did notice they omitted the part where she covered Rue in flowers.
Right.
Because even that smacked of rebellion.
Things pick up for Livia.
If she had seemed indifferent to him earlier, she made up for it then, by finding him, nursing him back to health, going to the feast for the medicine, and being very free with her kisses.
Objectively, she could see the mutts and Cato's death were as gruesome as ever, but again, she felt it happened to people she had never met.
And then came the moment with the berries.
Livia could hear the audience hushing one another, not wanting to miss anything.
A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers swept over her when they end not with the announcement of their victory, but with Livia pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta's name as they tried to revive him.
In terms of survival, it was her best moment all night.
The anthem was playing yet again and they rose as President Snow himself took the stage followed by a little girl carrying a cushion that held the crown.
There was just one crown, though, and you could hear the crowd's confusion- whose head would he place it on?- until President Snow gave it a twist and it separated into two halves.
He placed the first around Peeta's brow with a smile.
He was still smiling when he settled the second on Livia's head, but his eyes, just inches from her own, were as unforgiving as a snake's.
That was when Livia knew that even though both of them would have eaten the berries, she was to blame for having the idea.
She was the instigator.
She was the one to be punished.
Much bowing and cheering followed.
Livia's arm was about to fall off from waving when Caesar Flickerman finally bid the audience good night, reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews.
As if they had a choice.
Peeta and Livia were whisked to the president's mansion for the Victory Banquet.
Where the pair had very little time to eat as Capitol officials and particularly generous sponsors elbowed one another out of the way as they try to get their picture with them.
Face after beaming face flashed by, becoming increasingly intoxicated as the evening wore on.
Occasionally, Livia caught a glimpse of Haymitch- which was reassuring- or President Snow- which was terrifying- but she kept laughing and thanking people and smiling as her picture was taken.
The one thing she never did was let go of Peeta's hand.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon when they straggled back to the twelfth floor of the Training Center.
Livia thought now she would finally get a word alone with Peeta, but Haymitch sent him off with Portia to get something fitted for the interview and personally escorted Livia to her door.
"Why can't I talk to him?" Livia asked.
"Plenty of time for talk when we get home", Haymitch explained, "Go to bed, you're on air at two."
Despite Haymitch's running interference, Livia was determined to see Peeta privately.
After she tossed and turned for a few hours, she slipped into the hall.
Her first thought was to check the roof, but it was empty.
Even the city streets far below were deserted after the celebration last night.
Livia went back to bed for a while and then decided to go directly to his room, but when she tried to turn the knob, she found her own bedroom door had been locked from the outside.
She suspected Haymitch initially, but then there was a more insidious fear that the Capitol may be monitoring and confining her.
She had been unable to escape since the Hunger Games began, but it felt different- much more personal.
It felt like she had been imprisoned for a crime and she was awaiting sentencing.
She quickly got back in bed and pretended to sleep until Effie Trinket came to alert her to the start of another, "big, big, big day!"
Livia had about five minutes to eat a bowl of hot grain and stew before the prep team descended.
All she had to say was, "The crowd loved you!", and it was unnecessary to speak for the next couple of hours.
When Cinna came in, he shooed them out and dressed Livia in a white, gauzy dress and pink shoes.
Then he personally adjusted Livia's makeup until she seemed to radiate a soft, rosy glow.
They made idle chitchat, but Livia was afraid to ask him anything of real importance because after the incident with the door, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched constantly.
The interview took place right down the hall in the sitting room.
A space had been cleared and the love seat had been moved in and surrounded by vases of red and pink roses.
There were only a handful of cameras to record the event.
No live audience at least.
Caesar Flickerman gave Livia a warm hug when she came in, "Congratulations, Livia. How are you faring?"
"Fine. Nervous about the interview." Livia admitted.
"Don't be. We're going to have a fabulous time." He assured, giving Livia's cheek a reassuring pat.
"I'm not good at talking about myself." Livia said.
"Nothing you say will be wrong." He jeered.
And Livia thought, 'Oh, Caesar, if only that were true. But actually, President Snow may be arranging some sort of 'accident' for me as we speak.'
Then Peeta was there looking handsome in red and white, pulling Livia off to the side, "I hardly get to see you. Haymitch seems bent on keeping us apart."
Haymitch was actually bent on keeping them alive, but there were too many ears listening, so Livia just sighed, "Yes, he's gotten very responsible lately."
"Well, there's just this and we go home. Then he can't watch us all the time." Peeta offered.
Livia felt a sort of shiver run through her and there was no time to analyze why, because they were ready for them.
They sat somewhat formally on the love seat, but Caesar said, "Oh, go ahead and curl up next to him if you want. It looked very sweet."
So Livia tucked her feet up and Peeta pulled her in close to him.
Someone counted backward and just like that, they were being broadcast live to the entire country.
Caesar Flickerman was wonderful, teasing, joking, getting choked up when the occasion presented itself.
He and Peeta already had the rapport they established that night of the first interview- that easy banter.
So Livia just smiled a lot and tried to speak as little as possible.
She had to talk some, but as soon as she could redirect the conversation back to Peeta, she did.
Eventually though, Caesar began to pose questions that insisted on fuller answers.
"Well, Peeta, we know, from our days in the cave, that it was love at first sight?" Caesar started.
"From the moment I laid eyes on her." Peeta muttered pressing a kiss to the hand he'd been holding.
"But, Livia, what a ride for you. I think the real excitement for the audience was watching you fall for him. When did you realize you were in love with him?" Caesar asked.
"Oh, that's a hard one..." Livia gave a faint, breathy laugh and looked down at her hands.
"Well, I know when it hit me. The night when you shouted out his name from that tree." Caesar exclaimed.
"Yes and no." Livia answered, earning her curious stares.
"There was this moment- we were sitting on the grass, everyone had already gone to sleep, and it was just us. We sat in silence and I watched Peeta weave together a silly little flower crown from the wildflowers. There was something about it- being beside him felt safe, it felt like... home", Livia explained, "Everything changed after that."
"Why do you think that was?" Caesar urged.
"Maybe, because for the first time, I pictured a life where I got to keep him." Livia muttered.
Behind a cameraman, Livia saw Haymitch gave a sort of huff with relief.
Caesar pulled out a handkerchief and had to take a moment because he was so moved.
Livia could feel Peeta press his forehead into her temple and he asked, "So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?"
Livia turned in to him, with a soft smile, "Put you somewhere you can't get hurt."
And when he kissed Livia, people in the room actually sighed.
For Caesar, it was a natural place to segue into all the ways they did get hurt in the arena, from burns, to stings, to wounds.
But it was not until they got around to the mutts that Livia forgot she was on camera.
When Caesar asked Peeta how his 'new leg' was working out.
"New leg?" Livia quizzed, and she couldn't help reaching out and pulling up the bottom of Peeta's pants.
"Oh, no." She whispered, taking in the metal-and-plastic device that had replaced his flesh.
"No one told you?" Caesar asked gently and Livia shook her head.
"I haven't had the chance." Peeta said with a slight shrug.
"It's my fault", Livia mumbled, a frown falling upon her face, "Because I used that tourniquet."
"Yes, it's your fault I'm alive." Peeta teased.
"He's right", Caesar said, "He'd have bled to death for sure without it."
Livia guessed it was true, but she couldn't help feeling upset about it to the extent that she was afraid she might cry and then she remembered everyone in the country was watching her.
So she just buried her face in Peeta's shirt.
It took them a couple of minutes to coax her back out because it was better in the shirt, where no one could see her, and when she did come out, Caesar backed off questioning her so she could recover.
In fact, he pretty much left Livia alone until the berries came up.
"Livia, I know you've had a shock, but I've got to ask. The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind. hm?" He quizzed.
Livia took a long pause before she answered, trying to collect her thoughts.
It was the crucial moment where she either challenged the Capitol or went so crazy at the idea of losing Peeta that she couldn't be held responsible for her actions.
It seemed to call for a big, dramatic speech, but all she got out was one almost inaudible sentence, "I don't know, I just- couldn't bear the thought of- being without him."
It was the truth.
Maybe one of the most truthful things she'd said while there.
Her life was meaningless without Peeta and now that she'd met him- she couldn't go back.
"Peeta? Anything to add?" Caesar asked.
"No. I think that goes for both of us." He said.
Caesar signed off and it was over.
Everyone was laughing and crying and hugging, but Livia was still not sure until she reached Haymitch.
"Okay?" Livia whispered.
"Perfect." He answered.
Livia went back to the rooms to collect a few things and find there was nothing to take but her pin.
Someone returned it to her room after the Games.
They drove them through the streets in a car with blackened windows, and the train was waiting for them.
We barely had time to say good-bye to Cinna and Portia, although they would see them in a few months, when they toured the districts for a round of victory ceremonies.
It was the Capitol's way of reminding people that the Hunger Games never really went away.
They would be given a lot of useless plaques, and everyone would have to pretend they loved them.
The train began moving and they were plunged into night until they cleared the tunnel and Livia took her first free breath since the reaping.
Livia arrangement meant she would live in twelve with Peeta and be able to visit two whenever.
Effie was accompanying them back and Haymitch, too, of course.
They ate an enormous dinner and settled into silence in front of the television to watched a replay of the interview.
With the Capitol growing farther away every second, Livia began to think of home.
Of her brothers.
The first stop they would make would be District 2.
It was tradition to celebrate the return of victors- and since their were two- there was some adjusting to do.
When the train made a brief stop for fuel, they were allowed to go outside for some fresh air.
There was no longer any need to guard them.
Peeta and Livia walked down along the track, hand in hand, and Livia couldn't find anything to say now that they were alone.
He stopped to gather a bunch of wildflowers for her.
When he presented them, Livia blushed like a school girl.
Still there must have been a conflicted look on Livia's face.
"What's wrong?" Peeta asked.
Livia softly smiled, "Nothing."
They continued walking, past the end of the train, out where even Livia was fairly sure there were no cameras hidden in the scrubby bushes along the track.
Still no words came.
Haymitch startled Livia when he laid a hand on her back.
Even now, in the middle of nowhere, he kept his voice down, "Great job, you two. We should be okay."
Livia watched him head back to the train, avoiding Peeta's eyes.
"What's he mean?" Peeta asked her.
"It's the Capitol. They didn't like our stunt with the berries." Livia blurted out.
"What? What are you talking about?" he said.
"It seemed too rebellious. So, Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn't make it worse." Livia muttered.
"Coaching you? But not me." Peeta jeered.
"He knew you were smart enough to get it right." Livia explained.
"I didn't know there was anything to get right", Peeta huffed, "So, what you're saying is, these last few days and then I guess- back in the arena- that was just some strategy."
"No, of course not." Livia stammered.
"Livia?" He dropped her hand and Livia took a step, as if to catch her balance, "It was all for the Games? How you acted?"
"No- No! How I feel about you Peeta- it's very real, too real", Livia explained as she tightly held her flowers, "I just needed to be careful these last few days, alright? I can't- I just needed to make sure you'd be safe!"
He didn't say anything.
Livia knew her ears were healed because, even with the rumble of the engine, she could hear every step he took back to the train.
By the time Livia had climbed aboard, Peeta had disappeared.
She found herself frowning as she passed his room, only to be swiftly- and carefully- tugged inside.
It was late afternoon when Haymitch banged on the door.
"Come on, lovebirds. It's time!" He called- or rather slurred.
Good ole Haymitch.
The pair giggled as Livia fixed Peeta's coat and wiped the lipstick from his lips.
He fixed her crown and wiped the smudged makeup from her chin.
They must not have been as discrete as expected if Haymitch of all people had been aware.
Within the next few minutes they strode all the way to the exit doors.
Peeta offered out his hand for Livia to take, "My love."
Livia smiled before taking his hand, intertwining their fingers like puzzle pieces.
"Bread boy." She teased causing him to roll his eyes.
The doors slid open, revealing them to the crowd of cheering people.
Livia glanced out at the bright, shining crowd of smiling faces as she gleamed at the familiarity of her home district.
Then with a blink it was dark, the smiling faces were now piles of lifeless bodies- fire burned from far off.
The clouds burned a blood red and the streams of once beautifully blue water, now swirled patterns of the darkest black.
Only did the living nightmare end when Peeta squeezed her hand.
Livia's eyes met his, her face unreadable.
He sent her a worried look, searching her eyes for any idea.
Livia only smiled through the terror.
They would never truly be back- a piece of them would always remain in that arena.
Not to mention the traveling and mentoring would be forever a part of their lives.
There was much left to the unknown, many questions to be answered, many challenges to face.
Then there was a whistle- so faint, Livia wondered if it was all in her head.
Four strategically combined notes.
Beautiful melodies that told the story-
The one of a little girl who could climb the highest, who finished off the day of work, who befriended a lost girl despite her career background.
The story of the girl who knew plants better than anyone, who could shoot a slingshot with incredible aim, who could swing from tree to tree weightlessly.
The story of Rue
The whistle of her tune.
Sure, they had won, but the games were far from over.