One of the good things about living for decades was the added ability to let your mind become blank for hours at a time. It wasn't true dissociation, but it wasn't far off. There were only so many hours that someone can handle being attentive. It was nice that Rosalie was able to close her eyes and simply let her mind wander for hours. She tried to think of inconsequential things. It was hard to do.
She could feel it when day broke. Sunlight slowly started to filter in from the window and shined on the foot of the bed. She could feel the body next to her move closer as Lily shifted in her sleep. She could feel the warm puffs of air hitting her collarbone as the human breathed steadily. She instinctively held the girl tighter.
The amount of panic she felt when no one would tell her what happened seemed overwhelming at the time. Lily had looked almost pitiful. It wasn't something she was used to seeing. Panic mixed with fear led her to fear for the worst. Rosalie had never been a very optimistic person. She hated seeing the girl so scared. She hated getting home and not knowing what happened to her. She didn't begrudge staying with her last night.
She selfishly loved that Lily needed her.
It didn't make sense to her. Lily could do so much better than her. She should have never been subjected to their coven. Unlike Edward, Rosalie didn't think they were damned, but they didn't have much to live for. What was the point of eternal life if it wasn't worth living? At the end of the day, Rosalie was happy with her life, but there were moments it felt hollow. She dreamed about what her life could have been. She had to watch as opportunities were created for people, and for women, that she was never afforded. Sure, Rosalie was able to get higher education. She could travel. She could gain all these experiences, but she was frozen in time. She could never grow. In her worst moments, she thought she was nothing more than a pretty photograph. She was beautiful, nice to look at, but held no real value. Most of the time, she treasured her beauty. It was the one thing that didn't change after her transformation. It had always been the one thing she took pride in. If anything, it improved. On the other hand, most of her troubles had been caused by it.
She was only pulled out of her thoughts by Lily trying to untangle her limbs. While Rosalie had tried to keep the peace in her room, she wasn't the only person home. There was already a whirl of activity downstairs.
"Don't they know people are trying to sleep?" Lily murmured, voice still deep from sleep.
Rose snorted. "Afraid you're in the minority there, Lil."
Lily rolled over onto her back stretching as Rosalie stood up to give the girl space.
Rosalie continued. "I would just be grateful they gave you as much sleep as they did. There are things you need to know. I don't think you get a choice anymore."
Lily nodded. She figured as much. It always seemed as if she was a few steps behind the vampires. She didn't feel the need to respond.
Rosalie felt awkward simply standing in the girl's room. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Come down when you're ready." She moved to leave.
'Rose, wait."
The girl in question froze. She could hear the covers rustling on the bed as Lily moved to stand. Lily looked as awkward as Rosalie felt as she turned to face her. "Just, thank you for last night. I, umm, was kind of out of it. I really appreciate you staying."
The girl's face was quite red. Rosalie would have found it funny if she didn't think hers would look the exact same way if it could.
"Honestly, I didn't mind."
The two smiled and let the sentence hang between them. Rosalie just slightly nodded and left the room.
Rosalie felt lighter as she made her way downstairs.
Emmett gave her a knowing look as he raised an eyebrow suggestively.
Rosalie glared at him.
Idiot.
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Lily was thankful that Esme pulled her straight into the kitchen as soon as she headed downstairs. She wasn't actually ready to face everyone. She was also kind of starving. She vaguely remembered her mom trying to make her eat something last night, but it wasn't appetizing at all.
Esme quickly laid out a piece of toast and some assorted fruit. It was perfect. Lily knew she couldn't stomach a whole meal right now. She was too worried about what the other Cullens had to say. Her anxiety from last night had not fully dissipated either. She wondered how her mom could tell.
"Thanks, mom." She offered weakly.
Esme's smile seemed to grow just a little bit. "Of course, dear." She was glad the girl wasn't forcing the Esme angle anymore.
Lily felt she was moving on autopilot as she finished her food and entered the living room. She slid into the seat next to Emmett. She barely reacted as he reached over to ruffle her hair. She simply made eye contact with Jasper across the room and rolled her eyes, making him crack a light smile. Alice skipped over and took up space on her other side. Alice pointedly ignored the glare Rosalie sent her way as she was forced to sit on the other side of Alice instead of being next to Lily as she had intended.
Alice smacked Emmett's arm. "Stop that, you're going to mess up her hair."
"Al, I haven't even brushed my hair this morning."
"Doesn't matter. Now, one or two braids?"
"Is none an option?"
"Nope."
"Is now really the best time? I thought we had things to discuss."
"We do, but everyone is too tense right now. Now pick, or I'll make Jasper." Alice retorted.
"Now why does Jasper get a say in my hair?"
"I take offense to that. I would make a great choice." Jasper replied.
Lily could hear Rosalie groan on the other side of the couch.
"Well, I think two braids would be good." Emmett decided to chime in bumping into Lily's side.
"Thanks, Emmett. One braid it is."
"Unbelievable." Emmett pouted and Alice started to work her fingers through Lily's hair. She had to admit, it was relaxing.
"We're waiting on Carlisle to get done with his patient's notes. We were also hoping that Edward would be back, but that probably won't happen." Alice whispered in her ear, not like it made much of a difference in a room of vampires, but the gesture was nice. Lily nodded.
In a few minutes, Lily could feel Alice tying the bottom of her hair. "Does that feel good?"
"Yeah. Thanks, Alice."
That seemed to make the vampire happy. The two talked about school for a bit before the door leading to Carlisle's study opened up. He walked to stand by his mate as Alice moved across the room to hers. Rosalie subtly moved into the now vacant space next to Lily.
"Are you doing any better today, Lily? Esme said you came back rather flustered last night."
Lily figured that was one way to put it. It sounded a whole lot better than saying she hyperventilated and sobbed into her chest. "Yeah. I'm feeling better. Thanks."
"Do you want to explain what happened again?"
"There wasn't much other than what I told mom last night. I was down in Seattle last night at one of the clubs and saw two vampires. I believe one was the person who went missing from Forks. I don't have much more information than that. I left immediately after. I needed to get Scott and Laura out of there. I'm sorry Carlisle."
Esme squeezed her mate's hand behind his back. She knew he would struggle with Lily's continued resistance to calling him dad. Neither the less, he continued. "Nothing to apologize for. You did the right thing. I think we can all agree that we are glad you came straight back here. Jasper checked on Scott and Laura last night. They are perfectly fine and there is no evidence that you were followed."
Lily nodded as the words fell on her ears. She felt herself relaxing slightly. Her biggest worry was resolved.
"Are you sure it was Riley Biers from Forks?" Alice asked.
Lily nodded.
"That poor kid," Esme added, but her voice was barely noticeable over Carlisle's.
"That's what we were afraid of. We haven't been completely open with you regarding everything that's happening. We didn't want to involve you, but it seems that we don't have much of another choice."
Lily sat and listened as her family explained what had been happening over the past several months. She was horrified that Bella had been so easily cornered by Laurent, that Victoria had been almost teasing the wolves and vampires by running across treaty lines, and that Emmett had gotten so close to being attacked. She hated that they now had to patrol to guard Bella's life. The fact that Riley was able to enter Bella's room without anyone's knowledge scared her the most. There was no destruction. It was almost as if it had been a test. It was a show of skill and planning. It was indicative of a much more detailed plan.
Lily was grateful she knew. It was a lot to take in, but she knew she was protected. She wasn't annoyed that the Cullens hadn't told her before. She was very clear in her desire to not be involved with Bella-related situations. She hated that Bella had to suffer through these things, but Lily couldn't let them control her life as well. Unfortunately, that was almost impossible to do when you lived so close to the information.
She wished Alice had more visions. There have been too many close calls lately. Lily couldn't bear the thought of any one of them getting seriously injured. She wondered why being a vampire didn't make someone invulnerable anymore.
Everyone had a weakness, even vampires.
Bella Swan was Edward's weakness.
A fact that would haunt the girl for as long as she lived.
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As much as Lily hated to admit it, she was glad she didn't have to work. Why not take advantage of the Cullens' resources for a little while? She still went to work on the weekend, but it wasn't as relaxing as before. She cut back on her hours so she could drive home in the evenings, but she still worked all three nights. It was worth the extra gas money to rest at home. It was hard to sleep anywhere else. She still liked seeing Scott and Laura and she wasn't ready to give that up. Luckily, they didn't seem to think anything was amiss. They didn't find her behavior strange. Their night out seemed to have no lasting effects.
The Cullens couldn't watch over her at work. They knew it would be too dangerous. They were well aware of the possibility that they could be being monitored. It was too much of a risk to be seen associating with them too much outside of their home. Rosalie, as was expected, hated their current plan. She couldn't comprehend why someone couldn't just watch over her. Hell, Rosalie was really to take on the task by herself. She needed Lily safe. Eventually, she relented. She may not ever admit it out loud, but she did value her other family member's opinions. She was always going to think she was right, but she was always able to push aside her differences. She hoped this would have a better ending than last time. She couldn't help but feel that she was making the same mistake twice.
Lily hated how much that evening still scared her. She should be used to it. She's known about vampires for years now. There were good ones and bad ones just like humans. Vampires had killed her parents, but her parents weren't good people either. Vampires had ended up saving her. Really, it was a mixed bag.
She couldn't help to feel as if she was dragging Scott and Laura down into this dangerous path. She knew it was illogical. The vampires would have been there whether she was there or not. She got them out. She saved them, or at least that was what her mom and Carlisle tried to tell her. She didn't know if she believed them.
Besides work, she spent all of her free time at home. She didn't feel completely comfortable leaving anymore. While they had once been an escape, the woods seemed to haunt her now.
She now sought out the Cullens' company. The Cullens meant safety and protection. She worried about them when they went out to patrol, but they knew how to defend themselves. Lily had to remind herself that they had lived for decades, some even centuries, and they knew how to survive. Once the secret was out, it seemed as if tension within the house dramatically decreased. They stopped walking on eggshells around Lily. They were no longer hesitant to approach her and strike up a conversation. Things almost appeared to go back to normal. It was these moments that Lily missed so much. Lily was unaware that the Cullens were fighting for this all along. They haven't changed their behavior. It was Lily who had changed. Lily allowed them to be closer. They just leaped at the opportunity.
As much as Lily hated to admit it, it was a relief having her mother back. There was a comfort that she found that only Esme could provide her. Esme was the first person she trusted and it was hard to break that bond. Instead of trying to ignore the other woman, Lily could finally relax in her presence. She also noted how much this change seemed to bring her mother joy. It was so easy to tell her about work or school. It was easy to tell her mom about her concerns and get reassurance.
It was harder to tell Rosalie things. A part of her was mad that she had broken down that night. A greater part of her was glad she did. She didn't think she could ever have said those words otherwise. It was clear to Lily that something had shifted between them. She hated to admit it, but she craved the closeness between her and the other blonde. She was glad when Rose didn't try to push her in one way or another. Lily spent every night curled into her cold side. It felt unreal to be able to fall asleep while watching Rosalie enjoy her latest novel or rereading an old favorite. She felt guilty for taking up so much of the other girl's time, but Rose had yet to complain. She didn't want to force the vampire to do anything she didn't want to do, but she didn't want to tell the girl to stop.
Lily was prepared to savor any moments they got together. Lily couldn't help but to feel as if there was an invisible timer counting down the time they had together.
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Lily was used to being home alone. Not just because of the months of solitude, but also because of the increase of the Cullens' commitments. While they tried to avoid it, sometimes it was inevitable. With a certain number of the coven needed for patrols, the others had to hunt whenever they had the chance. It made sense. They needed all the strength they could muster. It didn't make Lily less anxious.
It was hard not to be. The empty house reminded her of the cold lonely winter. That, coupled with the new threat, was a recipe for disaster. Lily quickly rediscovered her best defensive mechanism, distraction.
At this point, she was willing to try almost anything to improve her mental state. Music always helped the house feel full. It at least covered the deafening silence. It needed to be something upbeat. Nothing too heavy.
Rosalie felt the smile form on her face as soon as she reached the house. It was hard to miss the upbeat melody surrounding the house. She had joined some of the coven for the hunt but decided to head home early. She had done what she needed to do and now there was someone waiting for her at home. Rosalie knew that Lily wasn't just waiting on her. She was waiting for all of them, but she liked the first thought better.
She moved her way into the house to try to find the human in question. She was glad she decided to not make any noise entering. She didn't want to ruin the sight in front of her. Lily was doing some sort of over-the-top performance to the energetic song. Rosalie was content to just watch the girl spin around her room.
Rosalie froze when she was spotted, afraid that Lily could be embarrassed, but instead felt herself get pulled into the middle of the room. Rose felt herself laughing loudly as the girl dramatically lip sang the words to her. It was completely ridiculous. Rosalie couldn't think of another time she had felt this happy. She has been thinking that a lot around Lily as of late. She let the shorter girl spin her around as she reflected on their relationship.
They were insane. They both knew the other had feelings, but neither one of them acted on it. Rosalie knew Lily didn't regret the kiss before she left, but they never brought it up beyond that. Lily admitted she needed her, but never acted any different in the daylight. How did this continue to happen? They both were living in limbo with no catalyst to enact change. They were both acting as if they had all the time in the world and could afford to ignore their attraction. Rosalie knew they had limited time, and she didn't know if Lily's own choices would shorten that time.
The song suddenly hit the bridge. Rosalie didn't know what exactly came over her. Maybe it was the lightness of Lily's smile as she sings the words to her? Maybe it was the unfiltered joy in her eyes? Maybe it was simply just a thousand little moments that had been building up between them? Whatever it was, Rosalie refused to stop herself.
Lily felt the cold hand wrap around her neck. Rosalie's thumb forced her head to tilt up as the taller girl captured her lips. Lily could feel herself drowning in the kiss. Rosalie wasn't doing much better herself as the human eagerly responded. She immediately took advantage of the human's parting lips, deepening the kiss.
Rosalie had always prided herself in being in complete control of her actions. This was the exact opposite. This was desperate. This was completely unplanned and fueled by months of pinning. She needed this. Rosalie was just glad she didn't appear to be the only one thinking this way. She could feel Lily's body pressed up against her as she reached up with both hands to pull the vampire closer. Rosalie allowed her hand to move back and up to grip the back of the shorter girl's head, her fingers threading through blonde hair.
Rosalie felt Lily's lips slowly pull away, breaking contact.
"Rose." Rosalie ignored her, chasing the girl's lips.
"Rose. I need to breathe." Lily finally let out. She didn't move to pull away, instead, she rested their foreheads together.
Of course, she did. Rosalie forgot. "Oh." She sounded just as breathless as Lily.
Lily didn't even try to find her laughter. "So articulate."
Rosalie rolled her eyes but didn't hesitate to peck the girl's lips again. She knew she had to be smiling like an idiot, but she couldn't help it. It was just as good as she remembered. Maybe better.
Even as Lily tried to stop her head from thinking, the reality of their situation was quickly coming back to her. "Why now, Rose?"
Rosalie sighed hearing the change. "I don't know. It just seemed like the time. I hate ignoring this."
Rosalie allowed the girl a moment to think. "Me too. I hate it so much, but there's no way this ends well."
"Doesn't it deserve a chance? Don't we deserve to see where this goes?"
Lily could feel her heart wanting to scream yes. She forced herself to meet Rosalie's eyes. "I'm going to leave. I will go to college. I'm not sure where, but it won't be here."
Rosalie felt her heart clench. They always knew, but the confirmation strung. "I know, but we have time. I can't keep pretending that I don't want more. I can't keep watching you try to keep everyone an arm's length away and deny yourself what you want."
"But it's not fair to you! That's what none of you understand. I'm human. I will never be a vampire. I will never belong."
"I don't care, Lily. Lilliana, when have I ever cared about you being human?"
"Never."
"Exactly." Rosalie weighed her next words carefully. "You know the night you came back from Seattle and you said you needed me? I need you. I need this from you. I can't live without knowing what could happen."
Lily closed her eyes, knowing this was a bad idea, but god, she wanted this. She pulled the other blonde back down and made their lips meet again. She wanted this so bad. She knew this could be their ruin, but she wanted to be reckless one last time. Maybe she could make enough moments to last a lifetime.
A/N: You love or a couple of idiots, but isn't that the same thing. I know it wasn't a long time, but it felt right to bring them back together. I didn't want to drag it on for longer than necessary.
Also, I realized that this story hit 5k votes which is absolutely wild to me. I forget that people actually enjoy reading this so it means a lot.
If anyone is interested, I can start adding music choices back in the story. I do have a general vibe that I assign to every chapter and I'll sometimes listen to songs to help write the chapters.
Please vote and comment if you have the chance.
Shout out to Nikki.
Hope everyone enjoys watching the Olympics!