The cloudy sky reflected my mood as I stared down at the hole in the ground. I could feel the concerned faces staring in my direction. Mikasa stood next to me in silence. She tried to comfort me by reaching out to hold my hand, but I flinched at the touch. As they lifted the casket to lower down into the hole, I wanted to jump in and stop them, for them to take me instead and put the soil over my body.
Once the casket hit the bottom of the ground, a flurry of birds rained down on the service. Amongst them was Isabel, who charged directly at me with such ferocity I wanted to run, but instead, I stood still as she dove toward my eyes. I could hear my mother's voice as Isabel cawed, "Eren, wake up," at her command, I sat up and found myself in a hospital room.
The warm blanket wrapped around me provided me some comfort after the nightmare, but the image of my dad hooked up to a dozen machines brought me back to reality. Across from me, near the window, was Mikasa, sound asleep. I looked outside and saw that it was still nighttime, so not much time had passed. Despite the headache I felt from the crying from earlier, I stood up and made my way to my dad's side. The bandage wrapped around his head and the oxygen mask that kept him breathing made my heart ache, and the tears threatened to spill again.
After a while of just staring at his body, I felt an unknown rage as I looked up at the window and saw Isabel perched. Without a thought, I strutted to the window, disturbing Mikasa, and threw the window open. I let out all my rage as I screamed at the bird, wishing that it would just drop dead, "You're not my friend anymore, leave! You hear me? Leave!" But the bird resisted. She cawed at me and scratched my arms as if trying to pull me out of the window. Mikasa pulled me back into the room and forcefully pushed me into the chair. "Eren, it's just a bird. Calm down," she said, glancing back at the bird and then back at me as the tears fell down my face.
I knew I shouldn't have asked him about the key.
She wrapped her arms around me in one last attempt to comfort me. I wanted to push her away, but I couldn't. I pushed aside my anger for her and just melted into her embrace. The nerve-wracking sobs that escaped my throat shook my entire body. I hadn't heard them since the day my mother had died. The hurt I felt was an escape from death that would always follow me wherever I went. It didn't matter if I left to start a life alone; it would always follow me.
Death is inevitable.
I noticed that Mikasa wore her scarf, and for a moment, I felt happy that I hadn't caused too much of a rift between us and that our relationship was salvageable. With death looming at the door, I felt like I had to reconcile with her right then and there. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to say all those awful things. I just get caught up in the moment." Mikasa just held me tighter. Although she said nothing, I knew she had forgiven me. My stubbornness had wholly left me; instead, fear crept in—the fear of losing my family. I took one last look at my father and lulled myself to sleep in my sister's arms.
-
I woke up to the sound of the window unlocking; peering out of the window, careful not to disturb Mikasa, I saw Isabel standing on a tree branch. The anger I felt disappeared as I looked down at her necklace. There was another note, a bit thicker than the last one. I swiped the note and opened it. It was a message from Hanji asking about the key. I crumpled the paper in a rage and threw it at the bird. "Over my dead body!" The bird then squealed excitedly, and I followed her gaze to my chest. I didn't realize I had taken the key with me.
In seconds, the bird took advantage of my confusion, stole the key, and flew away. I scrambled in a panic as I looked back at Mikasa and my dad. I didn't want to leave them after what happened, but I felt my duty was to keep the key safe. I had to get it back.
When I peered back outside, Isabel's disappearing form alarmed me, so I jumped into the nearest tree from the window and clambered down the trunk. As I followed the bird through Shinganshina, she tried to shake me, veering left and appearing a few streets across from me, but I knew her destination.
As the picket fence came into view, I went to the backyard and watched her glide into the trees, disappearing.
I stopped at the forest's edge, feeling an invisible force holding me back. It was subtle but strong enough for me to notice. My body began to tremble, and my breathing was ragged from the run, but in the back of my mind, I knew deep down I was nervous.
In that brief hesitation, I pictured my dad lying on the ground, then hooked up to the monitors. Mikasa, comforting me as we rode in the ambulance, and lastly, my mother, who would always tell me to be brave, lowered into the ground, never to see the sun again.
I gritted my teeth, pushed on, broke past the barrier, and ran as fast as my legs could.
In a combination of rage, fear, and grief, I pumped my arms to gain even more momentum. My legs burned as I went further into the forest, but my will fueled my body to push through. I had run so fast that I had caught up to her. It was almost as if she was leading me to something as she perched and stared at me from a branch above me. She cocked her head to the side and flew into a hole at the base of a tree. Without hesitation, I threw myself into the hole, not realizing that it led into a never-ending abyss of pitch black.
After a long fall, my shoulder met the ground with a loud thud, and I felt the pain pierce down my arm. I spit out the decaying leaves and followed the light that led out of the tree. I stood up to find myself in a completely new environment.
The trees and air were different, and everything was bright and colorful despite being so dark.
It was strangely quiet for a forest.
I paused and listened for the flapping of wings, but I didn't hear a thing. I sighed. I was lost.
After walking around aimlessly, my feet ached, and I lost hope of finding the bird until I stumbled into a large clearing.
There was a huge, maybe five-story house with a very interesting character. The windows sat at an angle, almost like the builder haphazardly pasted them on the exterior. It looked ancient and probably smelled of dust and mold, but I felt compelled to walk toward it for some reason. The same force that held me back in the forest decided to push me in.
As I approached the house, I could see shadows walking back and forth between the windows. It gave me the creeps, but my curiosity took control. Before I could come up to the steps of the house, I heard Isabel cawing and saw her swoop into a window on the top floor. At that point, all common sense left me as I burst through the door, passing frightened faces up several never-ending flights of stairs. I would periodically come up to a dead end and then have to retrace my steps. I panted in exhaustion as I finally made my way to what seemed to be the top floor. It was a staircase leading directly up to a single room, and I took no time to burst through the door.
I swept my eyes across the room as they landed on Isabel, perched on a lamp. I yelled and flailed my arms to rile her up as she threw the key on the desk in a panic. I wanted to wring her neck for making me fall into a hole, but I had what I needed.
I scooped the key up and made my way down the stairs.
As I made my way to the first floor, the faces I had unknowingly passed earlier blocked my exit. Their presence shocked me, and I took a defensive stance. "Let me through, and no one gets hurt." They all crowded around me in awe and looked down at my hands.
A guy in the corner said, "Listen here, smartass. I wouldn't be talkin' so tough when you're the one who broke in!"
His horse-like face threw me off for a moment. "I wasn't being a smartass, dumbass! Just let me through, and I won't bother you all again." I tried to push my way through, but a big, burly blonde man pushed me back with so much force I had to take a deep breath to recover.
The horse continued to pick a fight with me, but a girl with brown hair and several assortments of cheese stuffed in her mouth pointed at the key in my hand. I slipped it around my neck and held it beneath my shirt, "This is my dad's! I'm just bringing it back to him. Now let me go!"
There was a loud noise in the adjoining room, and then a woman came out with foggy glasses. "I heard yelling. What's going on?" she asked, wiping away the fog from her lenses.
She looked at me, rubbed her eyes, blinked, looked at me again, and then a look of amazement spread across her face.
"Eren!" She squealed.
The woman jumped up and down excitedly, bouncing her way to me with a toothy grin. I stood still in shock as she engulfed me in a bear hug, "How do you know my name?" I gasped. I could feel my ribs crack under pressure as she held onto me with her ungodly strength. She let go, causing me to fall to the ground with a loud thud.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" She grabbed my arm and yanked me up with such force I felt my shoulder pop. My head spun, and I almost fell forward, but she threw me onto a loveseat conveniently placed behind me. The odd woman grabbed my hand and shook it, "I was a friend of your father's! He may have mentioned me a few times. I was always his favorite friend, and he was my best friend, well, not after Le-"
I cut her off, "You're Hanji?" She nodded fervently. At that moment, I felt my anger boil. "So, you're the one who's been sending those letters!" I stood up, knocking the chair back into a floor lamp that went crashing down. The people watching winced, and Hanji tilted her head in confusion.
"Why are you angry, Eren?" she asked, adjusting her glasses. "I thought you were finally here to join us."
"Join you? Join what? This cult?" She looked taken aback, "Why would I ever join the people who hurt my dad and put him in the hospital? Huh? All because you wanted this stupid key?" I pushed past Hanji and her stupid cohorts and went down the porch and back into the clearing.
The wind was picking up, and the once-sunny sky was turning gray. I turned around again to look at all the staring faces. "Well, you can't have it! Not after what you've done to my family!" I felt the first few raindrops hit my face as they mixed with my angry tears. "And you keep that stupid bird away from me!" With that final word, I felt my anger leave me, but it was replaced with guilt as I trudged away from the house.
That house held a connection with my mom. I could feel her, like she was still there, walking around, living and breathing.
I had severed the only place that knew her.
I clutched the key, which felt cool against my chest, as I briskly walked to the edge of the clearing until a scream echoed from the forest. I paused and felt the ground rumble as lightning flashed across the sky.
I felt my heart race as the thunder roared in my ears, and the ground's rumbling grew stronger every second.
The tops of the trees split open as a figure shot up into the sky and fell, shooting right toward the house. As it inched closer, I noticed the large white wings folded awkwardly. The person landed a few hundred feet away, wings spread wide.
In the forest, a deep bellow of some animal resounded, shaking me to my core. It didn't sound like anything I knew of, but I knew that it was probably big and dangerous. That's when a human-like creature rammed its way through the foliage and bolted for the person bleeding out in front of me. It ran with its arms flailed out, mouth wide open in a permanent grin, and struggled to stay upright.
Despite its terrifying appearance, I ran towards it.
I felt a tingling sensation in my chest that ran up my arm.
I jumped over the body and raised my arm as a warm, bright light engulfed my hands, yelling as the adrenaline hit its climax. The sensation in my heart seemed to stop as the monster roared in pain, backing off from the two of us. Then, from the corner of my eye, a horse galloped to my side, bucking and kicking at the monster. The burly man from earlier jumped on top of the horse, using it as leverage to jump up and climb his way to the top. Once he reached its shoulders, the blonde man wrapped his thick forearm around its neck and jerked it to the side.
It fell limp, its head landing at my feet.
The winged man behind me groaned in pain. His injury ran from across his chest to his stomach, bleeding profusely. I stood in shock as he attempted to stretch his wings as he stood, but he lurched forward. The asshole from earlier grabbed him before he could fall, the horse out of sight. "Reiner, help me with Marco." I watched in silence as they both brought him back to the house.
I fell on my hands and knees, suddenly feeling like I had run a marathon. Catching my breath, I looked up at the boots before me.
Hanji reached out a hand to me. I hadn't even noticed her in my daze. "Eren, let's go inside. It's not safe for you to leave." She paused, "For a while." I hesitantly took her hand, still trying to process the events. She helped me up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, rubbing them in a motherly way. I took one last glance at the creature and followed her back inside.
There was a low hum of chatter in the room to my left as Hanji sat me down near the chimney on the far right. With a warm blanket wrapped around me and a cup of warm tea, my body ceased shaking violently. Hanji made a fire, sat across from me with her own cup of tea, and watched me intently as I took small sips. "I didn't know about your father, Eren. I'm sorry."
I kept quiet until a petite girl ran out of the door where all the commotion was. "Hanji! Marco's wing is damaged. I need your help setting it back in place and making the splint." The brunette excused herself and rushed to help, but I followed shortly after, curious.
A dining room with a large table took up most of the space, and then to my right was a small kitchen, barely holding the six people that stood around Marco, writhing around on the island. The blonde girl and Hanji took hold of the right-wing while the guy who dealt the killing blow held down his shoulders. In one pop, the wing was no longer at an angle, but Marco went silent and passed out from the pain.
The petite girl was the first to notice my presence, "You saved his life." She wiped her hands with a towel and shook my hand, "I'm Historia; it's very nice to meet you, Eren. I've heard a lot of great things about you."
My mind fumbled for a response, but Hanji interjected, "Carla must've trained you very well to be confident enough to fight a Titan."
"My mother never trained me. What the hell is a Titan?" At that, the entire room stood silent until a short bald guy chuckled, followed by a few snickers from the girl to his right, who now had a whole loaf of bread in her mouth.
Historia spoke, "But we all saw the light?" The rest of the party nodded in unison.
Hanji held her hand up, "Let's not confuse him now. Finish up with Marco and start prepping dinner. We'll talk more then." In an orderly fashion, they clicked their heels together, placed their right hand over their hearts, and bowed, dispersing, while Hanji led me out of the room and back next to the fireplace.
The crunch of glass beneath my shoes caught my attention. So, Hanji took a broom hidden behind the curtains of the large window and swept as she questioned me, "So what do you know of us?"
I shook my head, my mind finally clearing from the shock, "No, you don't get to question me. I ask the questions."
Hanji held her hands defensively, "Well, if it will calm you down, then we can do it that way." She collected the glass in a dustpan, opened the window, and tossed the shards outside onto the porch. "What would you like to know? I'm an open book." She took a seat across from me.
"How did you know my dad and my mom?"
Hanji sighed, "The answer is a bit complicated." She trailed off but watched my reaction. I patiently waited for her to continue, "I don't want to overwhelm you. It might come off as a bit of a shock." She leaned in. "You might not like what you hear, and I don't want to drive you away from us." Her eyes turned into a mixture of sadness and guilt. "Just keep an open mind."
I nodded in understanding.
She took a sip of her tea. "Your mother stumbled across the house one night while running away from a titan. I had no idea how she got here, but once we dealt with the threat and calmed her down, I knew she was one of us." She pulled a scrapbook from the bottom shelf of a side table. She flipped open to a page and handed it to me, "Your mother was the strongest of us all, with the power to bend energy to her will." In the picture was my mother standing front and center with a dress and her hair tied just how she liked it. Next to her was a younger Hanji, and to the right, a tall man with broad shoulders and strong brows. I flipped the page; this time, it was a picture of Hanji, and my dad gathered around a baby in her arms.
I traced my finger over her smiling face, "She had powers?"
Hanji nodded, "We all do." She turned the book to the last page and slipped the photo from its protective sleeve. It was the same picture my dad had in his book. "Your mother sent this to us after she left to live her own life." I flipped the card and recognized her handwriting.
Dear Hanji,
Life in Shinganshina is going well. Eren has grown so much since the last time you saw him. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit sooner. I'm waiting for Eren to grow older before I take him to meet you all. For now, I'll send you this picture so you can see what he looks like.
We're also in the process of adopting since I've had trouble having another child. I believe she will be a great addition to the family, and I hope you'll also meet her someday.
Grisha also wants to let you know that he is guarding the key with his life and that if you ever need it, to send anyone but Isabel to get it. He's still upset that she broke his glasses, even though he's already bought new ones. Goodness, this man drives me up the wall sometimes.
Remember that I love you and everyone back home.
I hope to see you soon
- Carla
I felt the tears in my eyes start to form. Hanji took my hand and gave it a soothing massage. "She left to protect you."
I wiped the tears before they left streaks on my face, "Protect me? From what?"
"The Titans and the people hunting her down that night."
"Who?"
She shook her head, "She never said, but I knew her leaving meant it was becoming more dangerous for her to stay." With both hands, she massaged her temples. "I didn't want to ask, but I trusted that what she was doing was in our best interest."
I struggled to comprehend my mother's secret life. Finally, hearing a bit of her previous life before I came into this world felt strange. It wasn't what I expected, but now I understood the ramblings my father went on for hours on end. "So, what, I have powers too. Is that what that light was?"
Hanji adjusted her glasses. "I believe so, kiddo." She patted my shoulder and took in a deep breath. "But for now, let's figure that out for another time. I'll grab you some fresh clothes and have you settled in before dinner, okay?" I nodded, but a thought came to mind.
"Wait, Hanji. I need to check on Mikasa and my dad. "
She smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry about them. They're in safe hands." I didn't know what she meant by that, but I would have to trust her for the time being.
For now, I will stay, but I will try to leave as soon as possible.
-
Hanji allowed me to stay in the attic, where I found Isabel. She gave me towels and a fresh change of clothes and showed me where the bathroom was so I could get rid of all the grime that clung to my body.
I was making my way down the steps when a door creaked open, allowing me to see inside by craning my head slightly. I felt that invisible force that tugged me into the house in the first place, but before I could take a peek, a woman I hadn't met slammed the door shut. Her hooked nose and mean stare put me on edge.
"Mind your business." The blonde woman said as she walked away.
It made me want to look even more if anything, but my exhaustion took over, and I grudgingly took the longest shower of my life, letting the water run down the drain until it turned clear.
Once I dried off, I noticed the door handle encased in crystal. I jiggled the knob but retracted my hand as the sharp edges pricked at my hand. It didn't leave a mark, but it sure hurt.
By the time dinner was ready. I had already made amends with Hanji in my head and scolded myself for jumping to conclusions too soon. I wouldn't make more assumptions until I knew the whole truth.
The large dining table was sparsely set with essentials: a fork, knife, spoon, and slightly chipped mugs that have probably seen better days. The loud, raucous chatter went to complete silence as soon as I entered the room. Hanji gestured for me to sit next to her at the head of the table, and I awkwardly sidestepped behind the chairs to get there, feeling all eyes on me until I finally sat down with a huff, and then the chatter resumed.
All the chairs were taken except for two: one next to the woman with the hooked nose from earlier and one directly in front of me. Hanji filled my plate with what I would describe as a mixture of whole beans, potatoes, and bits of mysterious meat. It wasn't the most delicious meal I'd ever had, but it was edible and settled nicely in my stomach after an eventful day.
Historia grabbed my attention by waving her hands. "What do you think of the food?" Everyone looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer, but all I could say was that it was tastier than expected. They all agreed and continued to eat until the door to the dining room flung open.
The scent of earth and rain dispersed into the room as a hooded figure walked to the head of the table and sat across from me. He pulled down his hood, revealing a scarred, pale man with gray-blue eyes.
No one moved a muscle as he served himself a helping of the food and filled his cup to the brim with hot tea. Hanji chuckled nervously as she wiped her mouth, "Eren, this is Levi." I expected him to introduce himself, but he continued to eat. Was he deaf?
She cleared her throat and glared at him, earning a huff of annoyance from the man. As he took another sip of tea, he lifted his eyes, gave me a once-over, and nodded. I nodded back, not sure what to say.
He was so...intimidating.
Hanji slapped his shoulder playfully, "Oh yes, and he'll be rooming with you until he can return to Shinganshina." Levi choked on his food, catching everyone's attention.
The room was tense as the two had a mental conversation. I could tell Hanji was winning as Levi's eyes turned into annoyed slits. He finally backed off and returned to his food, and then everyone did, too.
The entire room was on edge, almost as if the mood depended on how Levi reacted to everything. The atmosphere was different now that he had arrived, and I felt out of place.
Historia, the most friendly out of the bunch, decided to strike up another conversation with me across the table, "So, did you choose Rose University or Sina?"
"How do you know that?" I asked, surprised that she knew what colleges I applied to.
She gestured to Isabel, who sat perched high above the table on a dimly lit chandelier.
"The bird told you?" I let out a little laugh. Historia didn't like my teasing and rolled her eyes.
"She did."
"No, she didn't."
"Yes, she did."
"Birds don't talk."
Then a mischievous grin crossed her face, "I know all your deepest, darkest secrets, and she--," Historia pointed at Isabel, "--told me all of them." I crossed my arms and leaned back, confident that she knew nothing.
Historia considered that a challenge, "You slept with a night light in your room until freshman year of high school." That earned a chuckle from a bald guy and his animalistic companion, gorging herself with yet again more food.
I shook my head. "That's not deep or dark; if anything, I know plenty of people in town who still sleep with nightlights."
Historia pursed her lips. "What about the time you went skinny dipping with a girl in the middle of the night last year?"
"Nope, not dark or deep." Historia crossed her arms in thought, and then her eyes widened.
"You've killed before."
She had me there. I looked up at Isabel as she cawed and screeched. Historia listened and then spoke, "Two men in an alley. They were trying to kidnap your sister."
I remember that day vividly.
In my silence, Historia apologized, "I went too far, didn't I?"
I shrugged, "It's true. It happened, I did it, and I have no regrets." The rest of the table listened intently, but the bald guy changed the subject.
"So does Isabel tell everyone's secrets to you, or is it exclusively him? Because I may or may not have said some things." He fiddled with his spoon. Historia giggled.
"Isabel always talks about you and Sasha sneaking into the pantry at night."
Hanji spat out her food. "Connie, were you the one who ate my cheese?" At that, he turned red, right up to the tips of his ears. Sasha let out a moronic laugh as she took a helping of food from Connie's plate.
Once everyone had eaten every last bite of food, they piled their plates into the small dishwashing area in a separate room adjacent to the kitchen. Once everyone had placed their plate in the sink, I stared at them for a long time.
It was Mikasa's turn to wash dishes that night. The kitchen probably smelled now.
I took the soap bar and turned on the water to rinse the plates. Then, I scrubbed them clean, rinsing and repeating until all the plates were dried.
I hated doing dishes, but it calmed my nerves briefly until I noticed Levi watching me from the doorway. I jumped in surprise. He was so quiet.
He held his dishes in one hand, a dead look in his eye giving me chills. "Uh, would you like me to wash that for you?" I reached out to grab the plate, but he pulled it back.
"I wash my own." He said in a silvery voice.
It was deeper than I expected, especially given his stature. His head barely came up to my shoulders. I wanted to laugh, but the thought left me as he let me pass through so he could squeeze in. I wiggled past, turning around to say goodnight, but all he did was give me a curt nod.
I had trouble sleeping in the room. I expected the man to come in, but as the hours passed and the analog clock on the wall nearest to me read 1 o'clock, I gave up and finally succumbed to a deep sleep.