Hello!. This chapter will include topics such as:
-lonliness?
-suicidal thoughts
-burning
-panic attack
-hurt/no comfort
-drinking
-smoking
Please let me know if I miss anything!!
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Wilbur's POV:
I was now alone in the house. It was 7pm though it was quite dark. I had just gotten this house.. it's only been 11 months and I had moved already. I hate not being able to say in one fucking place. I don't want to be alone anymore. I slid down the wall I was previously leaning on, and then tucking my knees up to my chest. I put my head down and sobbed. "I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING ALONE, IT HURTS SO MUCH" I screamed in-between sobs. I picked up the bottle of vodka of by my side and started taking little sips. I had dranken a quarter of the bottle and felt slightly delirious and giggly. I stumbled my way into the bedroom and fell onto the floor passing out.
~time skip next day~
Wilbur's POV:
I woke up on the floor with a pounding headache. I groaned. What the fuck happened? Well I quickly realised after seeing a half empty bottle of vodka in my hand. I took a shower and slowly went downstairs to the kitchen. There's not much here yet because I still need to move everything here. Well I guess the upside to being alone is that I can do whatever I want. So I did. Sat here at the island in the kitchen, I took out my lighter from my pocket. Rolled up my sleeve to reveal multiple burn scars, and recent wounds. Flicking the lighter on I hold it to my skin, god this hurts so much.
I'm not worth it
I wish I wasn't here
I don't want to live
It hurts
I'm
So
Alone.
As I sat there crying at my thoughts and the pain I'm inflicting on myself, I didn't here a knock at the front door. So before I knew it niki was standing in front of me, crying. (Also no shipping just friends) "W-wil!?" Concern laced in her voice. I only managed to choke out a few words "..I-I.. Niki I'm sorry!" I broke down in front of her, I couldn't take this. I put my head into my hands, my breathing increases. My head is pounding, my hearing gets muffled. I can't hear niki
trying to coax me out of this panic attack. I haven't had this bad of an episode in so long. My chest hurts, I can't breath, I can't see, I can't hear I can't..
"Wil? Wil I'm here listen to me please.." I can hear her voice, oh thank god. "N-niki..?" I choked out, my voice cracked and sounded rough. I lifted my head slowly to see a smiling Niki with tears stained on her slightly red cheeks. "Match your breathing with me wil okay? In for 4, hold for 5, and out for seven. Do this with me a few times." After about 3 minutes my breathing had come back down and I calmed down. "Can I hug you?" I nod. Wrapping my arms around her when she leaned down to hug me
"Thank you Niki.. I'm sorry you had to see me like this." I was rolling down my sleeve whilst talking, and she took notice. She grabbed her bag and sat down on the floor next to me. She pulled a first aid kit from it, she's prepared for everything. "Wil, would you mind rolling up your sleeve for me.. I saw your wounds and would like to care for them." "..." "You don't have to be embarrassed Wilbur, I know you are struggling, I know when it gets too hard this can be the only way to let out your emotions." I nod. Slowly rolling up my sleeve to reveal more burn scars and wounds. I heard Niki slightly stifle a gasp, I guess she didn't see my full arm.
She takes out bandages, some kind of cream and another kind of cream except for burns. She gently grabs my hand and puts both creams on it. Then wraps my arm up with bandages. "Do you have any more on your right arm?" I shook my head. "No I'm.. right handed.." "it's alright wil, I love you." She smiles and hugs me. "Thank you Niki.. I love you too." (ALL PLATONIC! NO SHIPPING SHH)
She stayed with me for a few more hours and took all of my lighters. I don blame her, I would too. She just cares about me and that's amazing, finally someone that cares about me enough to do it. She left a bit ago, so now it's just me, alone. Again. Always alone, I felt so loved when she was here.. yet so alone like I didn't belong here and I was burdening her. I've been alone all my life, I've grown accustomed to it but I still feel so much pain. All I want to do is ease it.
Alone.
So fucking alone.
I treat my memory of her like a fire, but I'll always let it burn out. Stop fighting it, try to move on. But I can't I feel so alone.
But it's been sixty weeks since I saw vienna..
Goodbye, Vienna.
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886 words
A/N
hello :) I'm really sorry this chapter was a bit of a mess but I didn't really know how to portray this song as a chapter. I had a rough idea in mind but couldn't quite get t right I suppose. The next will be "Losing Face" and I do have it planned a little. Again apologize and I hooe next chapter will go more smoothly. Love you all <3 drink water :]