Tauriel and Kili.
Oh, Aulë.
They were still in Laketown when Smaug left the mountain. Unsuspecting in their sleep, far from knowing that they would never wake to see the light of day.
But maybe Esgaroth is not where Smaug is headed at all. Maybe he has an entirely different destination in mind. Maybe--
When the dragon's fire lights up the night, my scream cuts through the air. Around us, the ravens take off, startled at my outburst, and even Bilbo seems shocked that such pain could live inside me.
I look away from the inferno. I couldn't bear to look at it for even another second. Yet even with my eyes closed, I imagine how, again and again, Smaug must be unleashing his wrath, his flames raining down on Laketown like they were the remnants of Gandalf's fireworks.
The other dwarves comfort each other, looking on with dread as the flames surely consume Laketown before their very eyes.
There is nothing any of us can do.
The worst part is seeing Fili fight back the hands of Nori and Gloin as the two try to hold him down. His haunting howls reverberate against the mountainside. He cries out for his brother. There is no response.
It's not hard to imagine that Tauriel has awoken by now. In her kind heart, she would not hesitate before running into the rooms of Bard's daughters, warning them so they might have a chance to flee the fire. And if they didn't, if the burning house locked them inside of it to meet their fate there, she would hold them until the very end.
And there is nothing we can do to stop it.
Nothing we can do to help.
Nothing...
"Thorin," I faintly hear Bilbo's voice call out. "Thorin, she's--"
I put my hand to my chest, feeling the hyperventilation move it up and down, but there is not a thing I can do to put an end to it. The stars start spinning before me. I have to hold onto something to not lose balance as the night caves in on me.
In an instant, Thorin's hands are on me, begging me to breathe, to sit down, to put my head between my knees.
I shrug him off of me, though my reality is delayed a couple of seconds, and he seems blurry.
There is nothing I can do to put out the fire.
All the waters of Rhûn could not suffocate the flames.
"Thorin, she is going to pass out."
But I do not pass out.
I throw up.
Throw up what little remained in my stomach from the last time I hunted. I cannot remember how long ago that was. All I know is that Esgaroth is burning, and its inferno will take Tauriel away from me.
"We-- we have to get her away."
Besides Bilbo's plea, nothing else registers. I close my eyes and keep them shut, hoping it might tune out the picture of a town engulfed in flames. But it doesn't go away. It seems the thought of it has been burned into my eyelids.
Something hard against my chest. The smell of cedar wood and home.
Thorin lifts me into his arms, and though I fight it at first, I have little power left to resist with. I surrender, burying my face in his neck. He holds me tight, like he was afraid to ever let go. I sob, I think. I don't know.
I don't know how long he carries me for. Let alone where to.
My breathing has calmed by the time he finally stops moving. Gently, he lowers me onto something cold. I roll over on my side, my golden hair spread everywhere around the rock beneath me as I curl up.
"You have to sit up for me, amrâlimê."
Carefully, he helps me into a sitting position. From there, he takes off his own pelt, putting it around my shoulders. I let him. But it is not until his finger grabs onto my chin, gently lifting it, that I look up at last.
What I see takes my breath away.
Surrounding us are layers of greenery and vines, climbing the enormous cave's walls or falling from its ceiling. I let my gaze follow the lush vegetation upwards, where I see how I am able to see anything at all. Small cracks at the top of the grotto let in what looks to be natural sunlight, though I know it could not possibly be.
"Gemstones of starlight," Thorin says, his gaze having followed my own. "There are hundreds of clusters of them above us. All we had to do was clear the rock to make a way for us to see how they shine."
But I'm too stunned to speak, for when I trace their rays of light down again, I see what they illuminate.
Water.
On the ground, pools of water glimmer turquoise in the light of the gemstones. Never have I gotten on my feet so fast.
"Oh, Thorin," I exclaim, getting on all fours in front of the nearest pool. "It's..."
Never have I encountered a place such as this.
"I hoped you might feel at home here."
On the surface of the water, I see my own reflection mirrored back at me. Her eyes are large and golden, and she looks like someone I once knew. Someone I have not seen for a long time.
Until now.
"Yes." I look up at him. "I believe I might."
In the warm light of the gemstones, he looks terribly regal. His kingly armor does not hurt, of course, and neither does his crown. But more than that, it's how proud he stands as he looks down at me, his shoulder broad and his body wide. How beautiful his braids are and how healthy his hair looks, almost like the mane of a lion. And how, behind the strength and stoicism, a shimmer of softness gleams in his eyes, but only if you watch closely enough. Only if he lets you.
"Get some rest," he says. "I will fetch the hobbit to stay with you while I gather a few of the others to assess the damage done to Esgaroth."
"Will you be here? In the morning, will you still be here?"
I say it more desperately than I intend to. I did not mean to beg.
"This is my home, Ilwien." His large brows furrow in seriousness. "I could not dream of leaving. Not again. Not ever."
Something gentle and warm against my temple. His footsteps as he leaves.
I do not know how long it takes for Bilbo to get here. I've given into sleep before I hear him arrive.
Though I usually sleep neither well nor long out of water, tonight was one of the rare nights where rest took hold of me. It cannot be more than just barely dawn, though, for Thorin is nowhere to be seen, and he promised me that he would be here by morning.
Next to me, a different creature lies. It has large feet with too many hair strands to count, and ears that protrude beneath curly hair. It is most adorable.
Especially thinking that feigning his sleep might fool me.
"Good morning, Bilbo," I say, smiling at his shock upon hearing my voice. "You can stop pretending to close your eyes now."
"Me?" Bilbo points to himself and then looks around as if someone else were here with us. "Oh, no, I was not-- was not pretending to be asleep. No, no."
"Well, you certainly are awake now. Thank you for staying with me through the night."
As he stands up, he brushes his hands, first against each other and then on his clothes, and then puts them on his side.
"Yeah, no, no problem. I love sleeping in-- in caves." He nods, mostly to convince himself. "Probably would have spent the night here anyway."
He clears his throat.
What are you hiding, hobbit?
"Is everything alright, Bilbo?" I squint my eyes, standing up so that I may look down on him. "You seem a little... nervous."
His mouth frowns, and he shakes his head at me.
"Nope, no-- no nervousness here. Just..." Stretching his body, he tries to look away from me. "Rough night is all. Yesterday sat the record for the most dragons I've ever seen, actually. Which, you know, one dragon isn't a whole lot, but for a hobbit, it sure is one too many."
I cross my arms. Something tells me that the more quiet I remain, the more talkative he'll become.
"And then here, in-- in Thorin's mountain of all places. King Thorin. Many, many jewels here." He looks away, guiltily. "And-- and gemstones."
I'm running out of patience.
"What did you take?"
"What?" he says, opening his mouth like he cannot fathom I would ask such a question.
"It's alright, Bilbo. I'm sure Thorin won't be upset that you took your fifteenth share. Besides, you are our burglar, after all."
Again Bilbo clears his throat, looking up and down from me to the ground like it would hurt to keep his vision locked too long in the same place.
"It's just one thing. That's all I kept."
"Then I'm sure he would understand."
Bilbo's mouth twitches at this.
"See, you say that now..."
"Just show me, would you?"
From underneath his coat, he pulls out the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon. The size of my fist, Bilbo holds up a gemstone that surely must have been made by the gods themselves, infused with pure magic and moonlight.
"Is that...?"
The Arkenstone.
It has to be.
"Yep."
"You stole--"
"Took as my share."
"--that?"
He looks to the side like he has to think for a second.
"...Yesss. Yup."
"Oh, Bilbo." My hand reaches up to cover my mouth. "He's going to be beyond pissed."
"See?" With his other hand, Bilbo gestures to the stone. "Told you as much."
"Surely you won't be keeping it for yourself?"
Bilbo doesn't answer. He just clears his throat. Something is certainly stuck there. I wonder if it might be his ability to keep this from Thorin.
"He will be tearing this entire place apart to find it." I start speaking in a whisper, afraid, perhaps, of who might be listening to my words. "And when he discovers it is you, a hobbit half the size of him, who has been keeping it from him, he will tear you apart as well."
"Exactly," Bilbo says, nodding his head once. "Which is why you will be taking the stone."
"What? Fool of a Baggins, I will be doing no such thing. You, on the other hand, will be delivering..." Afraid to speak its name aloud again, I merely point to the content of Bilbo's hand. "...that to Thorin first thing today."
"And-- and I was going to do that. Believe me, Ilwien, I really was. But..."
"But what?"
"But then I heard what Smaug said. No, listen. He let me take it, Ilwien. Right in front of his nose. The gold-loving, treasure-hoarding, leech of a dragon let me take it. Begged me to. And why, you may ask? Because he thought it would be the best way to get his revenge. To have Thorin succumb to the dragon-sickness that became the downfall of his ancestors before him."
"But he's Thorin," I say, smiling in puzzlement at first. "Just because their blood runs in his veins does not mean he isn't his own person. He would-- he would never."
Bilbo just looks at me. Really? his eyes seem to be asking. Are you so sure about that?
And suddenly, I'm not.
"Alright," I say, reaching out my hand. "Alright, I'll take it for now. But only temporarily, until this whole dragon-business is over with. Until Laketown..."
Oh, Aulë.
Laketown.
In the bliss of this place, I had completely forgotten about the horrors of last night. Of Smaug flying into the distance, and none of us being able to do a thing about it.
Bilbo sees the fear on my face.
"I have no news to give you," he says, heart heavy as he hands me the stone. "I know as little as you do."
Tauriel and Kili.
Bard's daughters.
Did they at least die together?
For the briefest of moments, I'm taken back to the day I got the news about my people. It was Gandalf who told me. In spite of his butterflies and eagles, and whichever other informants that seem to walk Middle Earth with the sole purpose of relaying news to him, some time had still passed between then and the slaughter. I remember begging, screaming for him to let me go back, to let me see if there was anything I could do.
The way he looked at me told me that there was nothing left to save.
But this time will be different. This time, I will help in the restoration of Esgaroth, even if only ashes remain. And then, after I give the Arkenstone to Thorin and say my goodbyes, I will go back to Rhûn and finally face what I have spent so long running from.
"I see you have awoken."
The deep voice sends vibrations through the grotto. When I turn around towards it, I instinctively hide my hands behind my back.
"Yes," I say, trying to disguise the lie on my tongue. "Do you have any news?"
With heavy boots, he reaches the end of the stone staircase.
"Aye," he nods. "Bard the Bowman has slain the dragon. It fell into the depths of River Running, from whence I doubt it shall rise again."
Bilbo breathes a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness."
The only thing stopping me from throwing my arms around Thorin is the stone weighing heavy in my hand.
"And Tauriel?" I ask.
"Tauriel and Kili are both unscathed. Same goes for the rest of Bard's family."
I almost crumble at the news.
They survived.
More than that, they're not even hurt.
The smile that lights up my face is so bright, both Bilbo and I break out into chuckles when we lock eyes.
"Wow, that's-- that's fantastic news," the hobbit says, looking as though he might cry. "That's wonderful, Thorin. So is there nothing we can do?"
"I have sent the rest of the company to prepare the aid for Esgaroth. If you wish, you may join their efforts."
"Yes, yes of course," Bilbo nods, starting to move away towards the exit of the cave. "I will be there shortly. Excuse me!"
When the door shuts behind Bilbo, Thorin looks at me with something like contentment in his eyes.
"I'm beyond relieved, Thorin," I say.
"As am I."
"Do you know when they might be here? Tauriel and Kili."
"I do not know of the elf's plans to enter into the territory of Erebor dwarves, but I hope my nephew will arrive within the end of the day."
"End of the day..." I repeat, nodding absentmindedly. "So I have time to hunt."
"Hunt?"
He furrows his brows, tilting his head in what looks to be amusement. I cannot help but grin at it.
"Even naiads must eat. I was hoping you would extend me the liberty of exploring your springs? Perhaps I might find something I could make a meal of."
"Please," he says, gesturing towards the pools. "Be my guest."
Before he can change his mind, my free hand has reached to take off my garments. Right before I let go of it on the ground, I hide my other hand beneath the fabric, depositing of the Arkenstone in my pile of clothes. This will be a problem for a future Ilwien, someone who is well-fed and clean. She will know what to do.
I can feel Thorin stare at my naked body, his gaze haltering at my erect nipples before seeking further down, beneath my belly button. Running my fingers through my hair, I turn away from him though I cannot help but smile a little, if only for myself.
"You act as though this is the first time you have seen me naked," I tease.
"Would you have me leave?" comes his reply.
"Only if you should want to go."
"In that case," Thorin says from behind me, taking a step closer, "I shall stay."
He can be no more than a couple feet from me.
"Do as you wish." When I speak again, the words leave me only in a whisper. "King Thorin."
"Say that again."
I look over my shoulder, making eye contact with him.
"King Thorin."
In the next instant, his lips are upon me.