PEARL
I followed Shadrach, sidestepping François, a fierce ringing in my ears. My teeth clenched together, and I fought back a defiant growl.
He is ruining our entire plan!
Rage like no other tensed my muscles, causing a swell of saliva to pool under my tongue.
Somewhere in the dark, I slipped on ice and fell to the side. Shadrach must have turned around at some point, because he grabbed my wrists and steadied me. As soon as I found equilibrium, he dropped them as if they burned.
I didn't care that he didn't want to deal with me right now.
I was fuming.
François chased us down, holding an orb in her hands. Her eyes widened at the two of us. It highlighted Shadrach's features and, thankfully, gave me a sense of the area beneath my feet as I stood, quaking.
My voice echoed around the cave as I stabbed a finger into his fine, black, fabric-covered chest and shrieked at him."He isn't dragging me back to Lare, and neither are you! Good! Luck! Pal!"
It was hard to reach, but I jabbed my finger into his chest with the last three words.
I nearly broke my finger.
His chest was like a wall of concrete–unyielding, and so large that it was unsettling. His face was stone cold, but he flinched, giving away his surprise.
Good. Let him be surprised.
"Pearl!" François extended her arms between us and placed a palm on each of our chests. The forgotten orb used to illuminate the area slowly sank to the ground. "You seriously need to learn how to pick your battles, girl. He's a whole human taller than you!"
"Traitor!" I shouted at him, ignoring her. Tears clouded my vision. "This was for nothing! Do you hear me? Nothing!"
Hiding around in a cold hole for what? Breaking my husband's trust for what?
"Something is not as it was before." He frowned, the shocked expression tugging at the corners of his mouth again, appearing more like disbelief. He did not look angry, at least. Not anymore. "I do not know what I smell from you, but it might be an infection of some sort. It is concerning, given the current circumstances in which we find ourselves. We are far away from our best technologies and remedies to help you."
I bristled, pulling my shirt away to smell myself. All that I could smell were artificial flowers and cleansers. He was making no sense. He was actually digging at me for stinking?
I was wearing deodorant! He made it seem like I was a shambling corpse, about to shed maggots at any moment. I sniffed again.
Nothing but cold air and maybe a hint of sweat.
"For your information, I'm wearing deodorant, and I don't have an infection. Would be pretty obvious if I did. I don't have a fever." I was probably messing up the relationship I had tried to build with him the last few days by arguing, but I didn't care. "You know what? I'm tired of this. Fuck it, then. I shouldn't have to be here. I shouldn't have had to do this!"
François placed two soothing, warm hands on either side of my cheek, blocking my view of the alien I wanted to rip apart because I had shouted the last bit. "Calm down. Respirez profondément. Breathe. You smell perfectly fine to me."
I did as she said, tears spilling down my cheeks. Anger left me, only shame and embarrassment remaining, forcing me to drop my head. Right then, I wanted to run away, like all the other times I found myself hurt and vulnerable throughout my life.
But no.
With the way she looked at me and the way her tone tugged at my need for safety, I didn't want to run away. I wanted to throw myself into her embrace and sob my heart out. For the first time in my life, I felt completely hopeless and needed somebody.
I really, really needed somebody, and the person I wanted wasn't here.
But whose fault was that?
"We tried." Her eyes sparkled, an unhappy set to her mouth. "But I don't think you can handle any more of this. You are worrying yourself sick. Shadrach is just protecting you. He's worried about you. I am, too, as a friend."
I focused on François's dark brown depths, letting them anchor me back to reality. After a few moments, my heart rate slowed to a normal pace. She smiled at me, but her brow remained furrowed.
I did not smile back. Just because I was calmer did not mean I still wasn't hurting and a lot of other things I couldn't quite put into words right now.
"I will never forgive you, Shadrach," I said over her shoulder, my voice breaking with exhaustion and pain. "Never. I don't care if you are trying to protect me. Everything your brother went through... he went through for nothing. I am very sure I messed our relationship up. I am sure I messed things up between you two as well."
"Things have changed," he responded coolly. "My belief is that I made the right choice if I was concerned about your health. The honorable thing. I must inform you that the council is coming... soon. The Elders, as well. It would do good for the both of you to prepare yourselves mentally if you can."
It felt as though the air had been siphoned out of the cave.
The council.
Even worse. The Elders.
I sucked in a sharp breath, fighting more nausea as the edges of my vision shimmered like heat on desert sands.
Isn't that what I wanted, though? To see them and plead my case to save the earth? Maybe, but not like this. They probably loathed me now, given the trouble I caused.
Terror gripped me.
François stepped out of my way, removing her hands from my face, looking a little spooked herself. Shadrach was frowning. He looked defeated, which kept me from lashing out at him even more.
Somehow, I cut through the absolute horror clogging my throat and spoke. "What do you mean, things have changed? Even if I was sick, you shouldn't have pulled the plug. I am so mad at you, I can't even think! This isn't over with. It won't be Dumuzi kicking your ass. It will probably be me."
A lame threat, considering he was a tank and much stronger and taller.
He hummed in thought. "You can be angry all you wish. Consider us even for dragging me into this."
"Even?"
He nodded. "Even."
"This is not even." I folded my arms. "Humanity means something to me. This is an entire planet we are talking about. And you flushed it down the toilet!"
He waved his hand. "As if I care about this planet, about your humans. I do not. Maybe you are ill, maybe you aren't. I've had no experience with humans, in particular, much less their health. It could be an infection, an infliction, or... something else entirely. Whatever it is, we must deal it with. But not here."
Confusion had me rocking back on my heels. "Something else?"
"You may be with child."
That did it. That was the final straw. Instead of being angry, I burst out laughing. Maybe I was truly losing it, I wasn't sure. The situation was giving me whiplash.
François looked stunned at my sudden outburst. That only made me laugh harder. Different tears wet my cheeks as I held my midsection.
I supported myself on the cold, hard wall to my right and wheezed. "Good one."
"This isn't humorous," he said, his deep voice booming. "This is an extremely serious matter. May the fates protect the planets that are between you and Dumuzi if you are, because he will destroy them in order to reach you. Can you even imagine what this would mean? It would change everything."
It would change everything.
Sadness swelled inside of my chest, swirling around and souring my tone. "It doesn't matter, Shadrach. We aren't genetically compatible. Aunt Flo already declared her visit two days ago. I think you are the one who is out of it."
His jaw ticked. "Who?"
"Pearl," François muttered, her eyebrows locked together. Like Shadrach, a shred of humor could not be found on her face. "You said your period stopped the day it started."
"And?" I grimaced. "For the hundredth time, I'm stressed. You two are latching onto an impossibility here. Would you both let it go and stop reminding me of the shit that I can't have? Of what Dumuzi can't have?"
A realization dawned in Shadrach's eyes, and he lowered his head almost submissively. There was still something glinting and hard within their depths, but he nodded. "Very well. I did not mean to offend you. The smell is not terrible. It is just... overwhelming. It hampers my other senses–it is too sweet. We will stop discussing this since speculation is pointless. In any case, your partner will be able to tell if you are truly carrying his child."
I was incredulous. "You told him you think I'm pregnant?"
"I should not have said that, but I was unsure of what to say. They are moving quickly now. They knew we were headed toward Earth, but they did not know where. Ten minutes."
Ten minutes!
"Why would you say something like that?"
He didn't answer.
Instead of standing there and screaming at him some more, I turned my back to him and made my way to my sleeping bag, wanting to disappear entirely.
Ten minutes.