Eventually exhaustion got me to sleep and the sun woke me up. When I open the door I almost knock Islwyn down the stairs. After apologizing I ask Islwyn if the others made it back.
"His majesty came back to tell me he was going to form a search party because the others are missing. His majesty is down stairs now if you want to talk to him." I rush down stairs to find the prince, a battle worn warrior, and three sturdy looking farmers.
"Thana," the prince says as he looks up at my face. He then excuses himself from their meeting, crosses the pub, takes me by the elbow, and leads me to the second floor landing.
"Islwyn will escort you to our kingdom and when we find the others I will meet you there. My family will give you a place to stay and even without your kingdom you still have a tittle. Don't worry, now that it is light out and I have help we will find them in no time," the prince assures me trying and failing to hide the worry he feels.
"Let me stay and help. It is my fault that you came over here and those missing were left behind," I plead with passion in my eyes.
"It was my order to search the ruins and my order for them to stay behind." The prince pauses and continues, "Something is in the forest. It scared Lashay. I can't be responsible for the death of a princess."
"And I can't let more people die because of me," I spit back with more determination.
"Then we are at a crossroads Thana," the prince says carefully considering what I have said. Finally, he tells Islwyn who has come up the stairs after settling our fees, "Thana will help us look during the day and come back here after dinner so she can be back before dark."
As we descend the stairs the prince asks the Bar Maid something, I could not hear, and then leaves.
"When are we heading out," one of the farmers asks Islwyn.
"Ya, we are wasting daylight," the old warrior adds.
"His majesty has just left momentarily he will return shortly," Islwyn assured us.
"Is she coming with us," the warrior asks.
"Yes," Islwyn replies in a tone that tells them not to ask any more questions.
After a moment the prince returned with a package in his hands.
Handing the package to me he says, "Go upstairs and put this on," then the prince turns to the rest of the group "ready your horses we will be leaving soon."
I hurry back to my room and change into a working woman's dress that fits perfectly and men's pants that are far too big for me.
As I headed back down stairs I noticed that Islwyn is the only one still in the pub.
"I am going to stay behind in case any of them make it here or if someone needs to get the doctor," Islwyn tells me because after noticing him I stopped and starred at him.
When I finally got outside every one else was ready.
"Where is my horse," I ask the prince.
"You will ride with me," he replies.
"Why can't I ride Islwyn's horse," I ask because I don't want another incident like the last time we were in the woods on the same horse.
"Islwyn's horse is jumpy and stubborn, and I don't know if you can even ride a mellow, well behaved horse," the prince explains sounding agitated.
"Just get on the horse we are loosing day light do you two even want to find your missing people," the warrior shouts at us.
I mount remembering my vow and the six of us head toward the forest.
This is it my first act of penance and I am terrified.
"We will find them," the prince says whether it was to himself or to me I will never know, but it gave me the courage I needed to enter that forest.
"Are we all ready," the prince asks our little search party.
We all respond 'yes' although a few with some hesitation.
The horses walk into the woods and there is no turning back now.
It has begun.
* * *
"The forest seem so much nicer in the morning light," I say without meaning to.
"I agree I hate it when it is dark and you can't even see the stars," the prince tells me seemingly without a second thought.
"You said that your family would take care of me because I have a title," I say hoping to know a little bit more about the stranger in who's hand I put my life.
"I gather you know I am a prince," he replies.
Not the answer I was hoping for, but at least I got confirmation on my guess.
"Yes, I thought you might be," I tell him.
"Well if you had gone with Islwyn, instead of insisting on staying here to help search, my family would have given you what you needed for as long as you needed it," the prince tells me again without revealing anything about himself.
I was going to ask him more but what is the point. Then, the warrior signaled us all to be silent and alert.
Leaves rustle.
Then. Silence. Everywhere. It's deafening.
I can't even hear breathing. I want to scream, but I can't.
All of the emotions from yesterday comeback. My ears are ringing so hard I have to cover them.
I shut my eyes and suddenly I am on the ground, and I hear that voice that pulled me out of the depths so many times.
"Thana it is okay I have got you. Don't worry everything will be okay. One day you will be all better and you will not die until you are old and grey," my brother comforts me.
Tears stream from my eyes but it is not my brother I see when I open them.
"Are you alright," it is the prince, "you screamed and covered your ears. Then, you almost feel of the horse," he says I can see the fear in his eyes.
He is not afraid of me. If he was he would not have stayed by me.
No, I think he is afraid for me.
"I am alright now," I lie.
"Just sit here a little longer drink a little and then we can keep looking," he says handing me a drink.
After I finish it he helps me to my feet. Then, we mount his horse and get back to searching.
I can't see the others they must have gone ahead a little.
"I used to get like that too. Islwyn would always help me out of it and get me back on my feet," the prince tells me.
"I have always had fits like that my brother would help me through them, but he is gone now," I say not wanting to believe it.
"My brother's gone too," he says.
I know better than to ask him about his brother so I try to change the subject.
"How far way is your kingdom," I ask hoping a more direct question will give me a better answer.
"A ways north from here," he replies.
At least this answer was less vague. He probably doesn't want to talk about himself.
So, I decide that I will tell him a little bit about myself every time I ask him about himself.
"You seem to know this area. Do you come over here often," I ask almost certain of the answer.
"I lived here before my brother died," he replies.
Not the answerI was expecting, although it explains why he knows this area so well.
"I was never allowed out of the castle. Except to fulfill royal duties. Although my brother m is once snuck me out. We got separated in the woods, and I was terrified and started having a fit. When I came too there was a village boy. He ran off and found my brother. Before I could thank him he vanished," I tell the prince.
He stops the horse.
"We should have run into the rest of them by now," he says more to himself than to me.
He looks around and starts again.
I better not say anything.
Silence.
Inaudible screams.
Ringing ears.
That day.
Darkness.
My brother's voice.
The princes face.
"You can't stay here any longer," the prince tells me. Barely conscious I tell him, "I must ... looking ... my fault. I must ... penance."
Darkness.
They are getting worse.
* * *
When I came too I was in that attic room again. The prince was asleep in the chair next to me. The door is open and I can see Islwyn talking to the doctor. I can't see anything out of the window.
It must be late.
I close my eyes and when I awake the prince is awake too.
"The others found those missing. Their horses had bolted and they got lost in the woods. They took shelter and slept for the night. Ragna thinks it was a panther that scared our horses. She found tracks around several trees lining the road. She and a few recruits are going to hunt it before it gets anyone incapable of defeating it," the prince informs me.
My eyelids are heavy but I can see the fear on his face.
"Don't worry you won't be responsible for the death of a princess any time soon," I manage to say with as little stammering and as much energy as I can muster.
Just before I fall back to sleep I see most of the prince's fear drain away.