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Authors Note: DON'T SKIP
The After the End sequel is already in the works. First two chapters will be posted immediately after this chapter is made live. It is on my page as "After the end: Book 2" now. If you haven't seen already, "Before the End" is the prequel to this story and I highly suggest reading it if you want to know more about how Harry got here. Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting this far. I genuinely wouldn't have the drive to write if it wasn't for you guys. Thank you for coming on this journey with me and my characters. It means so much to me!!!
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Harry's POV
I woke up with a jolt. It was very sudden and so surprising that for a moment, I just stared out the window into the dark trying to remember what the dream had been about. Then it came to me. There was a feeling I had both times that my heart stopped. Right before losing consciousness and theoretically dying, my brain always flooded with thoughts and regrets and fears. It was like an emotional wave. It felt like I was screaming except I couldn't move or breath or hear it. That was the most common experience of my nightmares. Death. The feeling of death.
Lux had stayed asleep this time. She was still curled up beside me in the bed. Her hand was on my arm, where it had been when she had fallen asleep. I thought about laying back down, curling up to her and trying to go back to sleep. It was only 3 am according to the clock on the nightstand. That wasn't the ideal time to get up, but I didn't feel like sleeping anymore. Sometimes I woke Lux up when I felt like that, and the two of us would lie awake talking about nothing, but she was actually pretty busy during the day now. Living with us rent free had allowed for her to pour everything into her art and now that she was settled in it as a means of employment she dedicated so much time to it. Now that she had something real going on, I felt guilty keeping her up.
Instead, I gently removed myself from under the covers and climbed silently over Lux's form, careful not to wake her. She stirred for a second, then snuggled her face into my empty pillow. If she ever left me I'd be so empty. I knew it was a risk to let her have that kind of importance to me, but I just couldn't fathom how it could be a bad thing when it felt so good to wake up knowing she was still there.
At the foot of the bed, Birdie looked at me skeptically as if to say This early? Again? Really? I leaned over to pet her for a second and she closed her eyes again. I grabbed a pack of cigarettes off of the nightstand and then wandered out of the bedroom barefooted towards the laundry room. I stopped a moment to dig in the baskets for a pair of clean pants. Louis were the first ones I found, naturally. After pulling them on, I wrapped my favorite stolen cardigan over myself and wandered to the balcony to smoke.
Today was the day. I was going to be in so much trouble for this. I couldn't find it in myself to care. Some things just feel right.
The mural ended up taking Lux a few weeks. I watched her paint it for days on end in bliss. Eventually I snuck my guitar down there under Louis nose and we would sit for hours while I strummed music and made up pointless songs. I was going to have to start playing with Louis again soon. I already missed it.
The day after Lux finished the mural, we had walked to the registers office. We had signed and intent paper. We had waited the allotted 28 days. And today was the day.
Louis POV
"A little early, don't you think?" I asked Harry as I walked out onto the balcony. It was only 7. Everyone was asleep now. I assumed he'd been up a while. At some point that morning, he had put breakfast muffins in the oven. They were cooling now, as the ovens beeping had woken me up. I had rescued them just in time. Harry appeared to have forgotten about them, as he sat on our balcony chain smoking cigarettes with himself.
He shrugged, offering me one which I obviously declined. "Would you be my best man if I got married?" He asked in a strange tone. He seemed very awake for someone who was self proclaimed as not a morning person.
"Obviously," I sighed. He had been mentioning marriage in every conversation it seemed. I tried not to worry about him. He seemed to be doing so well in every aspect of his life, but the idea that he would be legally bound to another person petrified me. It was sudden. It was impulsive. It was against all the rules. He truly didn't care.
"Good," he decided, rising from his spot. Then he stiffened.
"I saved your muffins," I assured him.
He relaxed. "Sorry, I didn't have much inspiration this morning."
The morning progressed normally. Harry had requested that Naomi and I accompany Lux and himself to lunch that afternoon and we agreed enthusiastically. Naomi was very pregnant now and barely left the house. She had woken up, admittedly feeling off but she was still enthusiastic to go out for what could likely be one of the last times before the baby arrived.
We were getting so close. I couldn't believe that less than a year ago, I hadn't even known Naomis name. Now, we were just a month shy of parenthood. We were having a baby. I truly didn't think it was going to full sink in until the baby was here. Still, the nursery was put together. My mum and Naomis parents had sent us all kinds of odds and ends, as if I somehow couldn't afford to do it myself. The sentiments were still appreciated. The closet was stuffed with diapers. The drawers in the dresser were filled with clothes, many of them bought by Harry strangely. In a moment of unusual openness, he'd told me that baby shopping was probably the only thing he ever got right in his adventure in parenthood.
Naomi and I had been doing well. We were sticking pretty firmly of our strategy of prioritizing the baby over all of our differences and truthfully, it helped to put things into perspective. I loved her. She loved me. We were to be parents. That was enough for now.
It was 2 hours before we were to leave that I got the call from Melvins assistant. A meeting had been pushed up. A new artist was needing help with the finishing touches on an album. They wanted me to help review it and they wanted Lux in to talk about some cover art. They wanted us in 2 hours.
When I told Harry that we'd need to be cancelling lunch, he made a face like he was thinking something through and then said "Okay, we'll go now instead."
Lux and him shared a strange look. Then she ran off back to their bedroom to change wordlessly.
"Harry we just ate," I argued raising my eyebrows. Harry just shrugged and waved me off to go change as well. I tried to look at Naomi but she was just smiling and trudging off to our room to get ready to go too. Why was it that people always just did what he said? Even when we were in One Direction, in the early days when he wasn't an asshole, his ideas always took precedence somehow. It had to do with his charm or something. Infuriating.
Lux surfaced in a sun dress, which wasn't the most appropriate for the meeting. It was brightly colored and covered in pastel flowers. She'd also put her hair half up and brushed the bangs out of her eyes. I envied the fact that she didn't care about the studio norms. I was running out of slacks and button ups to wear to my constant back and forths to the office. Naomi surfaced a minute later in a soft pink dress that did nothing to conceal how pregnant she was. Her wispy hair was getting longer and falling closer to her shoulders than ever before. Her eyes twinkled at me as she came into the room, but I could tell she was already exhausted with the day. Harry stayed in a pair of my nicer old jeans, a plain tshirt and that old woman's cardigan he wore. We were and odd procession, myself in formal wear, Lux dressed like she just left Woodstock and the other two in varying levels of casual.
Naomi and I drove in my car and Lux and Harry took Naomis. That way Naomi and Harry would have a vehicle to get home in after I took off with Lux for work. I had no idea where they were going, but Lux had evasively just told me to follow her. Naomi said it was like an adventure. I was skeptical.
"What are they up to?" I pressed Naomi. She was smiling way too much. It felt like I was being kept out of some joke.
Naomi smirked in the passenger seat. "Would you believe me if I said I didn't know?" She asked pleasantly.
"No."
"Then I can't say," she broke into a real smile. Her eyes were so bright today. I had to imagine I was missing out of something major.
"And why is it that I'm being left out?" I inquired.
"Oh nobodies told me anything," Naomi grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. In the car in front of me, Lux was driving to a part of town I didn't recognize. "I'm just more observant than you. I sit at home all day just noticing things."
I rolled my eyes. "You should enjoy the nothingness. Soon we'll be wishing we had nothing to do."
"I'm thinking of calling him Oliver," Naomi mused.
"Oliver wasn't on the list," I said surprised.
She shrugged. "We can add it."
"We've got like a month and we're still adding to the list?" We were supposed to be narrowing it down.
She smiled in a way that told me the baby might just go home nameless. I looked back at the road and saw that Lux was pulling off into a gravel lot to an official looking building. This was not lunch. I pulled in behind them and parked scanning the building for some type of sign as I climbed out of the car and walked around to help Naomi.
"Where are we?" I inquired.
Naomi just smiled again. In front of the building Lux was picking flowers out of the flower bed and assembling a bundle of them in her hand. She was standing before the sign, but even with it partially obscured by her body, I could tell it said Registers Office. Harry came wandering around Naomis car with a phone pressed to his ear.
I nodded towards the sign and looked at him with wide eyes for explanation. He looked annoyed that I'd dare to speak to him while he was on the phone and then said "Niall hold on," and pressed the phone to his chest for a moment. "Can I help you?"
I sighed. "Um yeah, I have questions."
He rolled his eyes and put his phone back to his ear. "Hey mate, thanks for your blessing. I've got to go get Louis filled in. Thanks again. Miss you too." He hung up and stuffed his phone in his pocket, then turned on me again. "Lighten up Lou, we're going to a wedding."
I wanted to freak out. Truthfully, my brain flashed through so many negative scenarios but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Harry's smile was so real and so genuine. His eyes danced with light and excitement and nervousness. Every few seconds he was glancing lovingly at the woman in the sundress picking flowers seemingly oblivious to any sort of tension.
I stepped forward and put a arm over his shoulder. I kept walking as I passed him, prompting him to follow. "Let's take a walk," I said. He nodded.
After a few feet, he spoke up. "I'm not crazy."
"I know," I agreed. "Stupid maybe, but you seem lucid."
He smiled. "Probably stupid."
"That's not going to stop you though, is it?" I inquired.
He shook his head. "No, it isn't."
"Give me your sales pitch then," I prompted. "Tell me you're not making a massive mistake."
He bit his lip. "I don't know that it's not a mistake. It might be. Nothing's guaranteed." He paused for a moment. "But I don't think it is."
"Why not?"
We had walked to the far side of the lot now. Back by the cars I could see Naomi and Lux talking excitedly. I didn't know what they were saying.
"Because my entire life is completely different now and I don't want it to change. I want to make the good things permanent. I want Lux around forever and I know she wants me and if I hold onto the good things, I don't have to worry about falling back into the bad," he glanced back at them too and smiled. "I just like my life so much more with her in it. I want her."
"You can't use her to stay out of the dark place," I reminded him firmly.
He nodded. "I'm not. I've just missed so much of my own life already. I don't want to miss anymore."
"And why are we doing this at a registers office instead of having a wedding?" I asked. A small timid smile was breaking on my face. "Why the rush?"
He shrugged. "Tomorrow isn't promised. And I've not got enough friends for a proper wedding. My mums cut off and Gemmas a bit sore about it and Nialls got a thing going on."
I nodded.
"I need your blessing though," Harry added. "I need you to be on board."
I nodded quietly.
"Are you on board?" Harry pressed.
I thought for a moment. I barely recognized the guy standing in front of me. He looked healthy and happy. He looked like he knew who he wanted to be. He had never been sober for this long. He had never been this self assured or confident in anything. He'd never even had a proper relationship.
I thought about all the giggles and laughter that had permeated our home since the girls arrival. I thought about how Lux had dragged Harry out of the darkness of his room and back into life. I thought about the way he'd defended their relationship to me and how they still fought like children in a way that was both respectful and equally passionate and harsh and I thought about how Naomi and I both wished for the instant glove like fit they had become to each other.
"Fine," I said sighing dramatically.
Harry's face lit back up. He dug in his pocket for something before producing a sheer fuchsia pouch with two jangling gold bands in them. They were both simple and free of any jewel or decoration. "You have to carry these. You already said you'd be my best man. No take backs."
Naomis POV
I felt bad for Louis just a little bit. He hadn't expected the morning to go quite like this. He was definitely caught off guard. I had suspected something was happening for a few weeks now. Whispered conversations and also ones had out in the open made it clear that the two of them planned to get married eventually. Harry and Lux had been pretty open with the fact that their relationship status was "We'll get married one day," but they hadn't ever given it a date. It was easy to see though, that neither of them had any doubts. I never thought it would be a long time.
Still, I found myself pleasantly surprised to see Louis and Harry returning, both with smiles. Louis looked almost like a proud father although there was an edge. He gave me a look that said Look at these two idiots, isn't it kind of adorable?
And so we walked into the office together and we waited in a line and Lux stuck flowers in her own hair and one in Harry's as well. They laughed and giggled and complained about the wait time loudly until we made it to the front of the line. Harry looked sheepishly back at Louis one more time and then the person at the desk was saying words and Louis was handing over simple little rings.
It all happened so fast. They were holding hands and laughing their way through clumsily reciting what the register asked of them and then they were saying "I do" as if it were the easiest thing in the world to say. Me and Louis signed the witness form and as fast as we'd arrived, we were rushing out the door. Harry was holding their marriage certificate over his head as if it were his most prized possession.
Louis watched the entire thing unfold almost longingly. I had told him before I didn't believe in marriage for myself personally, although I appreciated the sentiment it posed to the two of them. Louis had agreed with me, but I'd known it was a lie. I could see it in his face and then Harry had almost explicitly told me that it was something Louis had always hoped for. He and I hung out frequently now. Harry had been one of the key contributors to helping me put together the nursery since we both had the most time on our hands. He never intentionally gave away any of Louis business. He was a good friend in that respect but he occasionally had a bad habit where he would let personal things slip out, like Louis view on marriage or comments about how he could help with the crib, because he'd assembled one before.
We had barely made it outside when Louis checked the time and paled. "Harry I hate to kill your celebration, but Lux and I have to go."
Harry seemed unfazed. He beamed at Lux for a moment and then tackled her in an intensely passionate kiss right in the parking lot. Louis and I stood aside patiently waiting as they pulled apart. Lux whispered something in his ear that made his face turn bright red, then they walked over hand in hand and Harry handed her over to Louis with a somber expression.
Louis stopped to give Harry a hug. I don't know what he said to him, but he looked sincere. Then he and Lux piled into his car and pulled out to return to work leaving Harry and I alone in the parking lot with an air of amusement from the past hours activity.
"So what next?" I asked him cheerfully. "They'll be busy for hours."
Harry turned on me. "Want to see something Louis doesn't know about?"
I bit my lip, acknowledging the humor in his face. Harry was full of surprises.
"Sure," I agreed. So we climbed into my car and took off down the road in the direction of home, where he'd told me to go.
He sat in the passenger seat musing, "I'm married," out loud to himself repeatedly in pleasant disbelief. He seemed shocked with even his own outlandish ideas. I imagined that it was probably a little exciting to live in the erratic brain of Harry Styles.
When we pulled into the parking garage, I found myself pausing at the sudden stomach flipping feeling I was experiencing. The baby was only just a month or so away and I still wasn't used to the feeling of motion like that. Harry seemed to notice and waited patiently for me to be able to get out of the car. I had felt off all morning, but the impromptu marriage had been a good distraction. Once we were mobile again, he walked me to the elevator and put in a code that I didn't recognize.
"You did that wrong," I informed him.
He smirked. "No, I didn't."
The elevator kicked into motion and pushed its way upward past the floors. I counted the dings as the elevator made its way up and found myself surprised as it clattered too a stop one floor too soon. Harry's smile widened impossibly more as the doors slid open revealing a flat I found both familiar and totally unrecognizable.
The carpet was beige and looked new. The elevator had opened into a living room with wide windows just like ours upstairs. The biggest wall was painted with murals of wildflowers in bright yellows and pastels. There was a little white kitten painted in the very corner amongst the flowers. The style told me that I knew exactly who painted it. The furniture was clearly new, but it looked like children had purchased it. There was a single plan sofa surrounded by multi colored bean bags. There was abstract art pieces adorning the unpainted walls.
Harry walked into the flat effortlessly prompting me to follow. He let me take in the appearance of the living room in silence for a moment before whirling around and saying "What do you think?"
I looked around in a bit of awe. "What is this?" I asked with trepidation.
"Lux and I remodeled a flat!" He said excitedly widening his arms as if to show off the entire thing.
I let my eyes scan the room again and I began to notice other things. There was a sweatshirt that belonged to Louis discarded on the sofa and Harry's guitar was leaving against a wall. I hadn't noticed, but now that I thought about it, Harry's things had become less in the flat upstairs. He'd been steadily moving for who knew how long. And now the construction noises I thought I'd been imagining also started to make more sense.
"You're... you're actually moving out?" I asked in awe.
Harry's smile softened and he approached me pleasantly. "You and Louis and the baby deserve a place to have your family. I've been his problem long enough. Plus, I kind of just got married so I think I'm supposed to be her problem now anyways." His tone was sincere and humorous and hopeful. I had to wonder how long he'd been sitting on this and whether or not he had thought it through. His face told me he'd done nothing but think about it for weeks or even months. Harry knew what he was doing, probably for the first time in his life. "Let me give you the tour?"
I nodded, then I felt my stomach do and aching flip. I cringed. Harry studies me intently and then gestured to the sofa. "Sit down."
I complied and placed myself stiffly on the sofa. He told me to wait a moment and then scurried off to his kitchen to get water, while I sat with my eyes closed studying the weird sensations in my body. I'd never felt this way. The baby wasn't super active most of the time and never uncomfortable like that. Then I felt the gush.
Harry's POV
I didn't know what compelled me to show the flat to Naomi. The euphoria of the sudden and impulsive marriage had definitely inflated my confidence. Naomi and I hung out most days anyways and all of the remodeling had finished the previous week. The place was beautiful now. Everything was new and bright and exactly how Lux and I wanted it. She was busy with Louis, which I didn't mind too much despite the fact that we'd married only an hour prior but I couldn't sit on the secret anymore. Especially because I planned on telling Louis as soon as he got home too.
I wanted to be celebratory about it. I didn't want to make them sad. I hoped so badly that they would see it as the amazing step forward I saw it as.
Then Naomi had started to look ill. It happened so quickly, it made me nervous. I went to the kitchen to get her water and that's when I heard her nearly scream my name.
I came back sprinting without the water. She was standing in front of the couch in a puddle of water with a panicked look in her eyes. "The babies coming," she said to me numbly. I stiffened.
"No, it's not," I said in surprise. "Naomi it's still weeks away, it can't be coming."
She shook her head and cringed again. "No," she wheezed. "No, it's definitely coming now."
I stood frozen in the room staring at her. "What do I do?" I asked timidly.
She looked like she wanted to laugh at my discomfort. She probably wrote it off to my general Harry-ness. I wondered if she knew that all I was thinking was that the last time I'd been around a birthing woman, my baby had died.
"I need you to drive me to the hospital," she said carefully.
"I don't have a license," I reminded her. How was this happening so fast? Would we be able to reach Louis in his meeting? Everything would be fine... right?
"You know how to drive." Naomi placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. She didn't look to be in any shape to be comforting me. She looked terrified.
"Okay," I said carefully. We could do this. It would be fine. Everything would be fine. I was married today and Louis would be a dad. If someone had told me that a year ago, I would have laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. The world was weird.