I avoided Sam at all costs, I made sure I was late for school, I volunteered to help a teacher during lunch and even made sure someone gave me a ride after school. They were not dropping me off at home just the convenience store near my house. It was safer for them that way.
My parents are headed to my aunt's house for a few days and I did not want to be alone but I have school and I am nineteen so they are leaving me alone. I do not want to tell Kaiser because I have a feeling he will freak out about my safety.
"Hey, you want to have a sleepover at my house, my parents are gone for a few days and you only need to be here a night, for me?" She sighs but agrees. I could hear Kate in the background, she sounded mad. I will be hearing all about it.
"You and Kate need to sort your shit out because I am sick of this. I miss you but she will not let me leave her side," she says laying on the carpet in my room.
"She needs to decide if I am her friend or enemy, it is very blurry from my standpoint. I do not want to talk to deaf ears." Shrugging I go to change into more comfortable clothing.
"I hear you, tell me about that guy of yours, Kate says you guys have not been seen together in weeks, is something wrong?" She takes my hand and places it on her knee.
"Everyone is exaggerating, he is working overseas so he can not be seen with me plus we do not need to be seen by the people of Norfolk to be together but we are not together." Her mouth left slightly open, her eyebrows knit closely together and confusion painted in bold strokes all over her face.
"You are not dating?" I nod, I do not know why everyone guessed we were an item. We are strangers hooking up at this point. "So how do you feel about him?" That question, I have been asking myself as well.
"I will not lie to you, I am smitten, I like him and a lot. I am not sure if he likes me but yeah. This distance has definitely made my heart grow fonder." Kaiser, tall, handsome heap of marvellous sex. I swear he is the perfect person. He is real, you can see it in his eyes when he was possessive and when he is truthful.
"Are you sure he will be able to catch you?" Not even a little bit. Kai could be using me, the naive teenage girl but he could like me but believing that would make me a naive teenage girl.
"I do not know, I hope so but if he does not then we pick up our heart and we move on." I am making it sound easy but it is hard picking yourself up.
Taking yourself out of the runt of heartbreak is difficult and Sam had left me there. He broke my heart and made me insecure about my identity. Asking myself if I was not enough, whether I would ever be enough, wondering if I would ever feel love again, I was hoping I would, flakes of my heart have always been waiting and searching to fall in love again.
To have your heart broken and wonder if you were ever enough and then have to convince your heart that the person who broke you was at fault and it had nothing to do with you. To convince yourself that they were not who you fooled yourself they were. That they played their part and they painted their facade with great passion and you were not wrong for falling for the beautifully painted guise that hid their horrid true form.
Rehabilitation is the hard part. Learning to trust love when the love that is broken is not there. You have someone to blame but it is hard not to think, was I doing something wrong?
"See you soon Sibo. I enjoyed last night." We spent the night talking about everything we have missed and she tells me that Kate seems sorry for how our relationship has turned out.
"I could drop you off." I shake my head, I need my thinking time.
"No, it is okay. Go fetch Kate, you know I love my morning walk. " she does not object just walks to her car and hoots before she is gone and out of sight.
I managed to avoid Sam but no one was free to offer me a ride home which is the best luck because even if I tried to run out and get a head start, he knows where I live. I walk out hoping he does not come to me but like the universe hates me I feel his hand on my arm.
"Kamo, please let me explain or at least get a word in." I turn to face him and he is waiting for me to scream at him.
Softly I mutter "There is nothing to explain, clarify or discuss." I turn to walk away but he pulls my arm again.
"I swear to God, you are getting on the only nerve on my body telling me to leave this conversation. I offered you friendship and you did not want that but that was all I was offering you, suck it up, I am done, we could never be friends because every time I do not have another guy in my life, you will be hitting on me again. Leave me alone." Hopefully, he does not pull my arm. I get quite the distance away from him when I feel him yanking my arm again.
"Let her go." I almost thought it was Kai but it was Shadow. What was he doing here? I turn to the parking lot and it is him, Pacer, Zale and Enzo. Now the rumour mill will have a field day. Sam let go of me obviously, he is terrified of Shadow.
"Sure listen to him, not me, as though his no means more than mine even though it is my body, my time and my emotions involved, you know what fuck you, Sam." I turn to Shadow for an explanation as to why they are here.
"Kai made us. We just wanted to hang out at his place but we don't have a key and he said that you have one so please let us into his place." Would he want me to do this? I will text him.
I make my way to the black jeep with Enzo and Zale in it. I text Kai and wait to see if I will get a response, sadly no.
"Don't break anything. I am going home." The choir sings for my departure.
I make it back to a quiet and cold home.