The light clinking of china greeted my ears as my eyes blinked open. The sound was quick to be followed by the light, muffled, chattering of conversation.
My brows furrowed as I blinked up at the unfamiliar and pristine ceiling above. Mine was cracked and stained. The clean white ceiling staring back at me was a strange and unexpected sight. Until my eyes ventured to roam the bare room and reminded me of where I was.
The Null Center International logo, a circle containing a freshly sprouted seed, was laser engraved on each piece of furniture and branded each item provided in the room. The study desk that had a desktop sitting on top of it, the dresser topped with a few small bottles, and the floor-length mirror standing in the corner all held the well-known emblem.
Booming laughter had me jumping. My eyes locked onto the door sealing me off from the shared living quarters beyond. The sudden increase of noise died back down to normal. I had clenched my shirt over my pounding heart, trying to recover from the fright. Sitting up, I swung my legs over the side of the bed as my heart rate returned to normal.
I was careful to avoid the irritating creaking that accompanied any movement I made, but that was before I remembered I wasn't on my old, torn, spring mattress. I had the luxury of memory foam courtesy of the Center. Although it was far better for my back, I would rather risk a metal spring stabbing me if it meant I still had my freedom. Or what little illusion I had of it. It was more than what this tiny room filled with more luxuries than my shitty apartment provided me with. Sure I had a computer, but the internet would be closely monitored and my usage would be reported to my counsellor.
Sighing, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. Raising my hands to my temples, I massaged them firmly as the muffled sound of voices continued to make their way through my door. I could still feel hints of the headache I had gone to sleep with. So much for a comfy mattress. My mind hadn't let me enjoy it.
Rubbing a hand over my face, I cleared the remaining sleep from my eyes. Once the dried tears were wiped from the corners, I couldn't help but catch my reflection in the mirror. My eyes immediately locked onto the mark that starkly stood out against my skin.
My teeth ground together.
Sharply looking away, I pushed up off the bed and went towards the wardrobe that I knew held some clothes. I had opted to wear my worn clothes from the previous day when I had noted the Null Center logos plastered on each article yesterday, but I didn't think I could force another day of wear out of them. Not with the sent they were giving off, I thought as I looked down. The day had held more walking than I had expected. Despite only having one long class after lunch, they thought it was necessary to show and inform me what each of the other classrooms and wings of the Center was for. Well, the ones that weren't restricted.
Grabbing the white t-shirt and black joggers that I thought would make me stand out the least, I made my way to the small and cramped bathroom that was connected to my room. Removing the only personal items that I had left from my body, I discarded the worn clothes on the floor. Loading a toothbrush with paste, I started brushing my teeth as I turned on the shower.
In 10 minutes I was clean and dressed in the stiff material of never before worn synthetic clothing. A rare luxury for someone like me. Too bad they were ruined by the embroidered logos that matched the one's plaster everywhere.
You know, in case you forgot where you were.
I huffed out a frustrated breath, as I realized I had gotten ready as a force of habit since I constantly had something that needed to be done. I pushed my wet hair behind my ear as I searched the room for a source of time. Glaring red numbers from the digital clock by my bed caught my eye.
8:44 am.
I didn't have class until after lunch, at 1 pm. Nor did I have to meet my counsellor again for the next few days.
My stomach let out a low growl at the thought of lunch. It was always a hungry pit ready to announce itself to a room. I would grab one of the yogurt cups Mantis had told me to help myself to when showing me to my room the other day. It would help settle my stomach before exploring what I could do to pass all the time I suddenly had on my hands.
I paused at the door, pressing my ear against it to get a better idea of what I was walking into. It didn't do much to help clear the muffled voices.
When I pushed it open a crack, sounds and decadent scents rushed to overwhelm my senses. I hadn't realized the wooden slab was so good at keeping everything outside- out.
The scent of freshly cooked eggs, bacon, and buttered toast had my mouth watering. Too bad the clear voice that joined the scents in reaching me ruined it.
"Did you see what she was wearing? I'm pretty sure the rips in her jeans weren't designed that way. Oh God, and not to mention the smell!"
A mixture of laughter followed her snide remark.
Of course, I'd have the luck to be roomed with her. My fingers curled into the material of my sweats as embarrassment had my stomach sinking. It only grew worse when I noted how well dressed and presentable she looked as she laughed at me.
Wait- was I really letting a teenager get to me?
"Geez, thanks," I boredly drawled out in response as I exited my room.
The door swung shut harder than intended behind me, making the table full of Nulls by the kitchen flinch. It was amusing to see the synchronized reaction, even if it included me. They didn't see me react though since they weren't looking in my direction.
Five sets of eyes turned to face me. My new roommates. I recognized three of the five faces, having seen them in passing the previous day. The two I didn't recognize glanced away, embarrassed at being caught talking about me, but the ones I recognized narrowed their eyes on me shamelessly.
Sophia's glare felt the heaviest. I couldn't help but feel uneasy being the center of her attention. I wasn't blind, she was the textbook definition of the popular mean girl. It was clear from the way everyone around her acted to the way she behaved. I thought I'd be spared her attention. I wasn't a threat in any way to her. With nothing to offer but the clothes on my back- which she already let her disgust for be known- I couldn't rationalize why she apparently saw me as... a threat?
Her cold eyes trailed down my body, lighting with amusement at what she found. I didn't pay it much mind. It wasn't like I was fond of the clothing either. I just didn't have the options she or the others had.
"You're welcome," Sophia said, her voice holding an air of superiority that rubbed me the wrong way. "It's better to learn how others see you early on. Before you face any consequences as a result." Her smirk told me she was being anything but kind.
I scoffed as I made my way to the kitchen. "Consequences? What are they going to do? Send me home?"
"No. The consequences from the center are the least of your worries," she said condescendingly. "No Elemental wants a filthy Null," she said her eyes scanning me up and down once more, her disgust unmasked.
"Good thing I'm not looking for one then. It'll be great if they stay away because of my clothes, thanks for the tip!" I said, smiling at her as I grabbed the handle of the fridge.
She didn't receive my response well. Her smirk dropped as her lips curled in annoyance and anger. Maybe this was the first time someone was making her experience what others felt in her presence.
"Sophia," the boy seated near her said in warning. He was lanky and had chestnut-coloured hair and thick black-framed glasses. Guess the headmistress wasn't too worried about teen pregnancy between Nulls.
The blond-haired girl beside Sophia covered her mouth with a hand as her eyes widened at the boy.
"No one's going to take pity on an old hag," Sophia sneered, her words ending with a cruel turn of her lips as the girl beside her, a black-haired boy, and the red-haired girl burst out in laughter- the remaining boy that had spoken out earlier remained silent, his jaw tightening.
My teeth ground together, mimicking my hand on the handle. Pulling it open I peered into the fridge and tried to ignore the group trying to get a rise out of me. I would grab something and be on my way.
"What are you doing?" The blond girl asked.
"What does it look like?" I asked as I located the yogurt cups and went in to grab one.
"Trying to steal food."
My back tensed and my hand stilled. "Mantis said the center restocks the fridge every week," I said as I stiffly straightened.
"Using money our parents pay to provide us with luxuries."
"Not freeloading orphans," The black-haired boy added.
I let the door swing shut as humiliation began to heat my ears. It wasn't my fault I had been given inaccurate information, but that didn't save me from the embarrassment that flooded at the misunderstanding.
Another round of snickers sounded behind me.
"Though they let us eat in our pods in the morning, they still serve breakfast in the dining hall."
"Kirk," Sophia snapped sharply, but the chestnut-haired boy paid it no mind. He pushed his scrambled eggs around on his plate without looking up.
I tried to keep the humiliation from showing on my face as I turned to the boy. "Thanks."
He didn't look up or acknowledge my appreciation, but I didn't care much, not when all I wanted to do was disappear. He had already done more than I had expected him to.
* * *
"Rae!"
I jumped at the sound of my name. My heart pounded against my chest as I lost my spot on the map I was squinting at. I must have taken the wrong turn somewhere because I was clueless as to where I was. The surroundings didn't look familiar.
It didn't take long to find the source of my fright. Mantis was looking at me in surprise from the other side of the hallway. He straightened from the wall he was leaning against and sent a panicked glance towards the door beside him. The women's restroom.
"What are you doing here?" He stepped closer. "You don't have to meet your counsellor today."
I gave him a tight smile. Though he had been as close to as kind as I could expect from a Null Center guard, his insistence that I could "help myself" to the subject of this morning's embarrassment when he and Kira had arrived to retrieve me yesterday had me wary.
Maybe I was just being too suspicious.
But then again, life had given me plenty of reason to be in the last 48 hours. Not that the 27 years before hadn't already given me enough.
Hoping it was just a misunderstanding and not a setup, I smiled at him.
"I'm headed to the cafeteria," I said, scratching my head as I looked back at the small fire escape map I had been using to determine my location.
It was a small reaction but still was one. His eyes widened a hair before sharply avoiding mine as he coughed into his fist. It was an attempt to hide his reaction, but I had already been looking for signs of deception so it was easy to spot. So was the guilt that followed.
He knew I was an orphan and had no access to my money. He knew how the rich treated the poor here. It was no different than the world beyond the imprisoning walls. He knew what was going to happen this morning.
The muffled sound of a toilet flushing could be heard lightly in the awkward silence. The hallway was empty aside from the two of us. I guess the other Nulls didn't need to leave their pods in search of food like the poor.
"When you reach the end of the hall, take a left then left once again at the next hall. It'll take you to the main fountain," his voice come out rushed as he glanced back at the washroom door. "Kira and I will come to get you after lunch for your class."
Guess he didn't want to deal with the problems Kira created when we clashed heads. Not until he had to.
"No need," I said, turning away from him. "I'll find my way."
His brows lowered over his eyes in disapproval. "Like you were just now? We'll be accompanying you until you get better adjusted."
My teeth ground together as my eyes narrowed on him. Before I said something I would regret, I looked away and took a step in the direction he had pointed in, the one I had come down earlier. But I wasn't going to tell him that. He had already managed to embarrass me this morning. Didn't matter how nice he wanted to play now, he had set his pieces on the board and let them play.
But, I wasn't one for games so I wouldn't waste my time engaging in them. Or at least that's what I tried to convince myself while my mind raced to come up with ways to make his life harder.
I was sure I'd have more than enough time on my hands to mess with him and his partner. I wouldn't feel as guilty as I would going after the spoiled kids. They were both fully developed adults. It was a level playing field.
Once I was set on the correct course, the path to the dining hall came easy. Of course, I wouldn't have found it when the first turn I took led me to unfamiliar halls.
* * *
I tilted my fork and let the grey-tinted piece of egg fall back onto the plate. The hardening old bread wasn't any more appetizing. It made me all the more thankful for the bruised fruit they set out as I peeled a browning banana.
My eyes scanned the room as I ate. Save for the staff bustling around on the kitchen end of the hall in preparation for lunch, there were a few others scattered around the room. They had their heads lowered over their trays, adding to the depressing atmosphere the matching prison trays of food in front of them created. Decent clothing decorated their hunched frames, but I knew they were like Greta. Like me. Their morning meals gave them away.
Speaking of Greta, the girl appeared at the entrance to the hall seemingly lost in thought. I was going to need to ask her where everyone was getting the clothes from. I didn't want to be the only one sticking out in Center brand clothing.
"Greta!" I called, waving to grab her attention.
She jumped at the sound of her name but quickly recovered when her eyes followed my voice and landed on me. She smiled at me and rose her hand to return my greeting, but it paused mid-motion when her eyes rose above me. Her smile dropped and the blood drained from her face.
My fingers awkwardly curled into my palms as her eyes darted up over my head again before returning to me, wider than before. She wasn't slow to follow, her feet quickly shuffling across the floor as she made her way to me.
"Put your arm down!" She hissed. Not allowing me to follow her words, she forced it down for me using a bruising grip as she ducked into the seat beside me. The way she used my body as a shield had already ringing alarm bells ringing louder.
"What's wrong?" I asked. I tried to pull my arm from her, but her hold tightened.
"Shhh!" She hissed again. Spit flew off her lips and landed against my skin. I recoiled in disgust. I didn't know what had her acting like a crabby librarian, but I did know what the wet drop that landed on my neck was.
"Don't draw attention to us!" She snapped, her eyes darting up again.
"If anyone drawing attention, it's you," I said as I started to turn to see what had her acting so strange.
"You're the one shouting for me and waving like a fool while someone's in the viewing booth!" She hissed.
I paused halfway turned in my chair. My eyes locked with her as I suddenly became afraid to follow her gaze.
"Viewing booth?" I questioned, my face paling at the implications of the words.
Her eyes rose above my head as she discretely pointed behind me. "It's what we call the second-floor hallway that looks out over the dining hall."
"We?"
She gestured to the others hunched over at their tables in answer. "It makes it easier for them to pick us out- like animals in a pen."
It suddenly became clear that the hunched figures were trying to hide in plain sight. They weren't blinded by the lies they were being fed like the majority of the other Nulls here. They couldn't afford the luxury.
The banana in my stomach turned to stone as my head started lowering of its own accord, forming a shielding curtain of hair around me. It was pointless. If someone was watching, they would have already gotten a clear view of me.
The thought did nothing to help my throat which had already been swelling shut, restricting my breathing as the sound of my heartbeat tried to drown everything else out.
"Them?" The question came out as a croaked breath but she heard it.
She scoffed. "The Elementals. More like narcissistic assholes," she added under her breath. "All of them."
My rasped breaths stilled at her confirming words. "And, what?" My voice shook despite my efforts to keep it stable. "They make their pick and that's it?"
She shrugged as she looked down at the contents on my tray with a frown. "I think it's best you learn sooner than later that Null centers don't exist to protect Nulls as they like to preach. They protect Elementals and Fundamentals. What we want holds little value in the face of an impending implosion. The center cares more about preventing Voids than whether a Null is comfortable with the elemental they are paired with. Unless the Null has money of course, but we don't belong to that class, so it's just depressing to think about." She let out a self-deprecating snort. "Not that the rest is any better."
Just the thought of having an elemental's eyes on me had my skin crawling, Greta's words were the final push I needed to be sent down the spiral I was trying to avoid. My mind screamed that I was in danger. The cold sweat breaking out over the back of my neck told me my body was reacting to the signals it was receiving.
My hands balled tight until my knuckles turned white as a cloud of fear threatened to suffocate me. I had to get out of here.
Pushing my tray away, I decided to abandon it in the middle of the table rather than walk over to the washing station to drop it off. My shaking hands displayed the fear that I tried to keep under wraps. Greta's eyes glanced down at them and filled with pity.
They rose to meet mine, but I couldn't stand to face the sympathy I knew I would find reflected. I turned and started towards the exit. It didn't take long for her footsteps to follow.
When we had gotten far enough from the cafeteria that all we could hear was the echoes of our footsteps, she reached out a hand, grabbing my elbow to stop me.
"We may have been handed a shit hand in life," she sighed. I glanced over at her just in time to see a fire enter her eyes as her lips quirked up. "But that doesn't mean we can't set fire to it and enjoy watching it burn anyone who dares to get too close."
All I could do was give her a strained smile in response.
It was easy to think that way when you didn't know the possible consequences that could result. I had seen the damage first hand. Witnessed it. Heard it. Felt it. Elementals were already unstable, angering them would only push them closer to becoming Voids. It may be the last push they need.
Messing with them was like playing with fire. You were asking to be burned. The more fuel you added, the higher the chances. While we could give them first-degree burns of annoyance, they could set us aflame until we were nothing but piles of ash.
No, not even a pile of ashes would remain. Voids devoured everything.