They said that the second time would get better, that by then, one would be used to it and therefore be more accepting of what changed.
Well, whoever said that clearly did not do enough research because the second time certainly did not make anything easier. If the cries of their children were anything to go by, the second time was in fact harder.
The second time involved much exasperation, on top of the tiredness both Hyun Bin and Ye Jin felt after a long day of tying up loose ends at the workplace. This was why neither of them had the full capacity to deal with the crying from their youngest, much less from their eldest two as well.
To sum it all up, what welcomed them back home was a horrendously messy situation that was quickly becoming out of hand as the seconds ticked by.
But before we deal with their munchkins' wailing, we have to go back to a few days before.
It all started with Hyun Bin's suitcase.
Oh, and of course our favourite chocolate baby.
Now, Ki Rai might still be growing and learning, which was why most of the time, she was quite clueless about what was happening around her. But the one thing that she had figured out – being the smart baby she was – was the fact that every single time that big box with a zip emerged, it meant that she wouldn't see her father in the next few days.
He was leaving – as she would often hear everyone say – and the little one could now understand what that term meant.
To her, it meant she wouldn't be able to get upsies from her father, nor would he be there to tuck her in every night. He wouldn't be there to wipe her tears away or help her find her teddy bear.
To a 2-year-old, that was truly a horrible feeling.
To be fair, it wasn't something that most 2-year-olds had to experience either.
That was why when Ki Rai saw Hyun Bin's luggage splayed wide open in the master bedroom, she had to do something; anything to stop him from leaving. In every sense possible, she was on a baby strike, and her plan was to have her father stow her away in his suitcase.
With Mina watching her carefully, Ki Rai clambered into the suitcase that was nearly as tall as she was and clapped happily when she succeeded. It quickly became apparent that the little one could fit in Hyun Bin's suitcase and she was sure he would never even notice.
Pulling the top of the luggage down on herself, Ki Rai yelped when the lid slammed down on her and the world became dark, apart from the tiny bit of light seeping in from the edges.
She didn't like it. She wanted out of this weird contraption.
Struggling in the luggage, Ki Rai managed to stick one arm out but found herself stuck again with no way out. She began to wail, frustrated over the fact that she lost function of her limbs in the cramped space of the luggage.
On the outside, Mina yipped worriedly at the child before she scampered out of the room in search of help.
Thankfully, help came in the form of the man himself, who had been shocked that their daughter had somehow shut herself in his luggage. Terrified that Ki Rai had hurt herself, Hyun Bin quickly got on his knees and rescued her, lifting the shaken child into his arms.
"How did you get in there, princess? Did you get a boo-boo?" The man fussed over their child, counting and checking each of her little toes and fingers.
Sniffling slightly, Ki Rai simply pressed her tear-stained face against Hyun Bin's chest, pouting silently because her plan had failed. Hyun Bin simply took her out of the master bedroom, cradling her tenderly in his arms as he patted her back soothingly.
Apart from his worry that Ki Rai might have hurt herself, he didn't think much about the incident even when he told Ye Jin what happened. The couple simply assumed that Ki Rai had been playing in their room and had somehow fallen into the luggage. From then on, Hyun Bin paid close attention to keeping his luggage properly in case Ki Rai ever stumbled into their room again.
Things became a little peculiar when the couple found Ki Rai in Hyun Bin's luggage time and time again after that incident. There were times when they would search for their littlest, only to find her curled up in the luggage. Yet, when they took her out, she would only toddle back into the luggage stubbornly.
One time, they even found Ki Rai and Mina asleep together on top of his folded clothes that were thankfully soft enough to offer some padding to their child.
With that said, they would be lying if they claimed that sight didn't cause their hearts to ache greatly. Those repeated incidents of Ki Rai and the luggage was in fact her attempt at stopping her father from leaving. Ye Jin knew that and so did Hyun Bin. Unfortunately, things were out of their hands.
That didn't stop them from giving their children just a little bit more of their love, or as much as they could give them, just to assure them that they would get through everything together.
Still, that didn't explain the tragedy behind the second time.
Every brave façade that they tried to present around their children and vice versa crumbled on the night where Hyun Bin was due at the airport for a midnight flight that would take him away from his family.
The most prominent change was in their youngest, who had been reduced back to a baby koala as she clung to her father, locking his neck in her embrace. The waterworks only started when Hyun Bin tried to pry Ki Rai's hands from his neck, such that he could actually see if their baby was doing alright.
Unfortunately, that wasn't how Ki Rai interpreted it. To their youngest, it was as though Hyun Bin was desperate to leave her behind. Still, she refused to budge, and every minute Hyun Bin spent struggling with her tight hold meant that she was getting increasingly frustrated. It didn't help that she felt betrayed by her father's departure.
Meanwhile, Ye Jin was facing a similar problem in their car ride home from the kindergarten. Granted neither Eun Ae nor Jeong Eun was bawling their eyes out, but there was a certain solemness that punctuated the air around them.
Whenever a car ride was this silent, it was never good news. In most cases, it was because the children had fought in school, or one of them had a bad day. In rare cases, it was because the children could sense that Ye Jin was in a foul mood or that they were in trouble.
This time, it all boiled down to one thing. Hyun Bin's departure.
After days of countdowns, the children were well aware of what the night meant for the family. Almost selfishly, they didn't want their father to leave again. The first time was hard enough.
Still, they both knew there was no use in throwing a tantrum, for it would only make their parents worry about their next few weeks apart. However, that didn't stop them from feeling sad, which was why neither of them spoke the entire ride home.
Even when Ye Jin made a quick stop with them at their favourite ice-cream café in an attempt to cheer them up, they couldn't muster a smile. Eun Ae was pouting the whole time and barely ate any of the ice-cream sundaes they had purchased.
Again, that was very unlike a mini-foodie like Eun Ae.
Concerned but left with no other ingenious ideas, Ye Jin decided to give their children some space for the rest of their journey home. Truly, the silence was disconcerting, but what could she do when she knew that they were very much affected by Hyun Bin's imminent departure?
Back home, Ki Rai's wails were only growing more urgent. No matter what Hyun Bin did to calm their baby down, her tears showed no signs of subsiding any time soon. The man was immensely worried that Ki Rai would cry herself sick at this rate.
The sight of her husband shaking Ki Rai's teddy bear in front of her face was the sight that welcomed the rest of the family.
"Ki Rai, look who's home!" Hyun Bin attempted to divert Ki Rai's attention to Ye Jin.
With her lips trembling from her tears, Ki Rai closed her eyes momentarily as she gulped hard before she wailed loudly again. It was clear their baby couldn't care less about who came home. All she wanted was for her father to stay at home.
"Oh, princess. It's okay. Appa's here." Hyun Bin whispered against Ki Rai's ear again, bouncing her in his arms.
That was true. Her father was here...but he wouldn't be for long. That thought only drew a fresh bout of tears from Ki Rai. At this point, Ki Rai was inconsolable.
"What happened, honey?" Ye Jin sat down next to them on the couch, after reminding their eldest two to wash up and do their homework.
Ye Jin's eyebrows were knitted tightly with worry as she ran her fingers gently through Ki Rai's hair. After all, neither of them liked seeing their child this upset.
Meanwhile, Jeong Eun and Eun Ae had quietly slipped into the common area to do their homework, ignoring their little sister's cries because they were equally upset. On any other day, they would be hugging Ki Rai now, but it was difficult to be emotionally generous when one was barely holding it in.
If Ye Jin found it odd, she chose to keep quiet. Instead, she suggested taking Ki Rai out to their garden for some fresh air.
With Ki Rai and Hyun Bin in the garden, the house was quiet once again as Ye Jin watched their eldest two from the couch. Now, Eun Ae and Jeong Eun were usually rather quiet when they were focused on their work, but that wasn't what worried Ye Jin.
It was how forlorn they looked that worried her.
For starters, Jeong Eun was splayed across the table with his homework in front of him as though he was utterly exhausted from his day.
Next to him, Eun Ae was seated upright but was absentmindedly fingering the edges of the book she was trying to read.
Neither of them had any light in their eyes and if Ye Jin didn't know her children better, she would have assumed they were bored. She was anxious precisely because she was their mother and therefore, knew them a little too well.
Pursing her lips, Ye Jin was lost in deep thought until an idea hit her. Minutes later, Ye Jin had fetched a few white T-shirts from the room along with fabric markers. Eun Ae and Jeong Eun looked up curiously when she had placed the items on the table. For the first time that day, their eyes held life.
"Shall we take a break? Let's design some shirts together." Ye Jin beamed.
Jeong Eun was more than eager to colour the shirts and finally smiled when he picked up a marker. Pulling a shirt closer to him, their little man began to draw random patterns on the shirt, smiling cheekily whenever Ye Jin would peer over at his masterpiece.
On the other hand, Eun Ae wasn't very impressed with the activity. Even if she genuinely wanted to colour the shirts, she simply wasn't in a good mood. It took a few subtle nudges from Ye Jin for Eun Ae to even pick up a marker, although the lack of enthusiasm was clear on her face.
Pouting hard, Eun Ae half-heartedly began drawing a few hearts on the blank shirt, before she paused.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Ye Jin finally asked the million-dollar question that was on everyone's minds.
In response, all Eun Ae did was pout harder as she drew another heart, pressing the marker harder than she needed to, such that it left a big red smudge on the shirt.
"Eun Ae, you don't have to press so hard." Jeong Eun offered helpfully.
"I know." Eun Ae spoke, a little annoyed for no specific reason.
Still, she kept her cool until Jeong Eun had taken a marker that she had been reaching for. Before her brother could even offer the marker to her, Eun Ae had already tossed the shirt aside with an angry growl.
"Eun Ae, are-" Ye Jin began.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Eun Ae snapped.
As soon as that happened, she began to cry, startling Ye Jin. Seeing his little sister crying, Jeong Eun stopped what he was doing as the smile on his face disappeared. The boy looked down at the shirt, the tears clouding his eyes too as he tried to muffle his own cries.
With Eun Ae bawling her eyes out, Ye Jin had her arms around their child as she tried to soothe her. The mother only checked on their little man when she heard some sniffling from the table.
Drawing her two babies closer to her, Ye Jin felt as helpless as Hyun Bin did as she tried to calm their tears. The waterworks never once stilled, and everything became clearer when Eun Ae had aired her frustrations in between her sobs.
"I-don't want-appa to leave." She wailed.
It was during that moment when Hyun Bin walked in with Ki Rai, shaking his head hopelessly. He froze when he heard Eun Ae's anguished plea, and he felt his knees weaken slightly when his heart constricted painfully in his chest.
From across the room, Ye Jin and Hyun Bin's eyes met, equally saddened by their children's grievances over his departure.
They now had three crying babies and no way to calm them down, because whether they liked it or not, Hyun Bin had to catch that flight tonight.
It must be one of the only times all three of their children were beyond inconsolable. So loud were their cries that Halabeoji had come down from his bedroom to survey the situation. Moments later, Mdm Ji Hyun emerged from the kitchen too, eyeing the family worriedly with a spatula in her hand.
From promises of the children's favourite treats to attempted distractions, nothing could stop their cries despite everyone's best efforts. In the end, Ye Jin helped Halabeoji back to his room after their elder grew weak once again. Having assured Halabeoji that it was nothing she and Hyun Bin couldn't handle, their elder had offered her some words of wisdom before she left the room.
By the time she joined her husband again, Mdm Ji Hyun had also retreated back to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the Hyuns.
Slightly weary from their children's cries, the couple reminded themselves to take a deep breath. In times like these, parents often found themselves telling their children to stop crying as though that was the magic formula to solving their grievances. In most cases, that did work, but that was akin to telling children that crying was bad.
"Stop crying" had never once been in their vocabulary and they weren't planning to include that ever. In comforting their children, they hope to convey the fact that it was completely normal to cry and that they didn't have to suppress their tears.
That was the route Hyun Bin and Ye Jin took.
Whispers of "It's okay", and "we understand" were amongst the few choice words the couple used as they rocked their children gently. At times, Hyun Bin would find himself reiterating their feelings back to them, in the form of "appa would be crying too if I were you." Whereas Ye Jin would remind them to breathe.
In the end, the art of calming children was to listen and be present for them.
Ye Jin and Hyun Bin listened to their children's fears and cries and never once left their side until they had calmed. They soothed and reasoned with them until they were mentally and emotionally ready to accept their words.
Their eldest two stopped crying relatively quickly, whereas Ki Rai took a longer time. But what mattered was that they got through the emotional evening together as a family.
After dinner, Hyun Bin and Ye Jin got their children into their pyjamas before they tucked them in with a hug and a kiss. Such a daily night routine took longer this time because Hyun Bin was feeling that inertia to stay.
The inertia was real with their children's doleful eyes peering up at him as though they were silently begging him to stay.
How could he possibly leave when even his heart was telling him to stay?
The only thing he could do was spend just a little more time with each of their children, reminding them that he loves them and that he would be back soon. It was both a blessing and a curse that his flight was at midnight, for while it meant they wouldn't have to part right in front of the cold gates, it also meant that he had less time with his precious family.
A warm goodbye in the comforts of their home was a blessing. Any goodbye from his family was a curse.
5 months. They only had to do this for 5 more months; 5 more times – 4 if you exclude their second parting. But why did the assignment feel mountainous?
With a heavy heart, Hyun Bin shut the door to Ki Rai's room and walked down the staircase where Ye Jin was already waiting with his luggage.
"We still have some time." Hyun Bin gestured to the clock.
Peering up at her husband with pure wistfulness, Ye Jin sniffled slightly as she nodded her head.
"Come here, angel." Hyun Bin held out his arms for her, drawing his wife close to him before a tear could even slip down her face.
They were both tired, but nothing could stop them from spending the rest of the time they had left together. Clinging to each other, Hyun Bin and Ye Jin breathed, knowing that time would pass by quickly and he would be home soon.
They must have stood there for a long time, because the next time they pulled back, it was time for him to leave. Yet, before Hyun Bin could open the front door, they heard the distinct sounds of light footsteps running down the stairs.
"You're all awake." Ye Jin said.
Lo and behold, all three of their children were standing before them, for they couldn't possibly miss their father's send-off. Normally, the couple wouldn't condone their children being awake past their bedtime, but this was a special circumstance. It wasn't every day Hyun Bin had a midnight flight to catch.
"Family hug?" Hyun Bin offered, getting down on his knees such that he was at their children's height.
Without missing a beat, their children had run into Hyun Bin's arms as the man gently coaxed Ye Jin to join them too. Their little furball clawed at Hyun Bin's back before he lifted Mina up with one hand. Squeezed against each other in front of their main door, what would appear as uncomfortable to many was in fact the best family hug that they have had.
In that tight hug, all they felt was love and nothing else.
They were complete.
The next time they all stood up, their hearts were finally ready for the month ahead.
"Go, honey. I'll deal with them." Ye Jin assured him with a brave smile.
Nodding his head, Hyun Bin gave each of them a kiss on the forehead before he pulled his luggage towards himself. "Be good to eomma, arasseo? I'll see you all in three weeks' time."
A chorus of 'I love yous' was the farewell he received as the family waved goodbye to him from the front porch. With her hands placed on either side of Jeong Eun's shoulders and their girls clutching tightly to the hem of Ye Jin's dress, the family watched as the car took Hyun Bin further and further away from them, rolling off the gravel smoothly and effortlessly.
They only went back into the house when they could no longer see Hyun Bin. The children followed Ye Jin wordlessly all the way to the top of the stairs before she stopped. Turning to observe their children, Ye Jin chuckled when she realised they were all eyeing the master bedroom.
"You won't sleep, won't you?" Ye Jin asked.
Hesitantly, the children shook their heads firmly, confirming Ye Jin's suspicions.
"I understand. Just for tonight, you can all sleep with me. We'll wait for appa to board the flight and then it's bedtime, okay?"
Just like that, the children sounded their agreement and clambered onto their parents' bed. Ye Jin lifted Ki Rai and Mina onto the bed before she gave Hyun Bin a call.
"Are the children asleep?"
"They're here!" The children laughed and waved as Ye Jin turned her camera around.
"Of course." Hyun Bin leaned back in the car seat with a big smile on his face.
He hadn't expected anything less. Their children could be rather stubborn when they wished to be.
"Are you almost there, appa?" Jeong Eun asked.
"Yes, I'm almost at the airport, little tyke."
"Appa, does that mean you need to hang up soon?" Eun Ae pouted.
"Of course not. I'll be here all the way until take-off." Hyun Bin assured her.
"Appa!" Ki Rai pointed cluelessly at the screen, eliciting a bout of chuckles from Ye Jin.
At one point of time in their video call, the family started playing around with the camera filters, giggling and laughing hard as they fooled around together. Despite the gloomy start to their day, their night ended on a light note.
Hyun Bin's booming laughter could be heard through the phone when Ye Jin made a bunch of cheeky faces with her red and blue mouse-ear filter.
He cooed when Ki Rai tried a bunny filter, with her large eyes peering innocently at her father through the screen.
Finally, he chuckled at Jeong Eun, who had been rolling around the bed until Ye Jin tried a bunny ears filter on him.
Before Eun Ae could choose her filter, Jeong Eun had patted his mother's arm to get her attention.
"Eomma, I'm hungry."
"Let's get you a snack. Honey, we'll be back." Ye Jin informed Hyun Bin, leaving the phone with Eun Ae.
With that, Ye Jin and Jeong Eun slipped off the bed and left the room.
"What do you want to eat, monkey?"
"May I have chips, eomma?"
"Of course, but you have to brush your teeth again after, arasseo?"
"Ne!"
With the phone to herself, Eun Ae began to mess around with the filters since she was pretty much an expert at them. Her favourite was by far the cat ears and she had a whale of a time dancing with the filter.
Hyun Bin cheered for his daughter, the father overly excited for someone who was about to take a flight at an ungodly hour.
"Appa, do the dance too!" Eun Ae demanded with a small giggle.
What his princess wants, she gets. There were only a few people in his life that could ever get him to do anything uncharacteristic of himself. Growing up, Shin Hye was one of them, but he often did those out of fear. With Ye Jin, he listened because he loved her, just like how he listened to their children.
Hyun Bin didn't care how ridiculous he looked, but he dropped his bags and did his best to mimic his daughter through their video call. Doubled over with laughter, Eun Ae couldn't even keep a straight face anymore.
By the time Jeong Eun and Ye Jin returned to the bedroom with a bowl of chips, Eun Ae was already all tired out. She wasn't the only one, for Ki Rai was already fast asleep with Mina curled next to her tummy.
Munching loudly on his chips, Jeong Eun was in his own world as Ye Jin took over the phone again.
"Look at our little monkey eating his chips." Ye Jin moved the phone towards Jeong Eun.
"Aigoo, save some chips for me, little tyke. You know I like chips too." Hyun Bin teased.
Smiling cheekily at Hyun Bin, Jeong Eun attempted to give him a heart but realised he only had one hand. Abruptly he switched over to a finger heart although he couldn't quite get his fingers to form the proper shape since he was too busy with his chips. Still, their little man smiled with his eyes, pouring all the love he felt towards his father into those simple gestures.
In a matter of an hour, Jeong Eun had caved to the sweet bliss of sleep, having finished his supper and brushed his teeth as he promised. That drowsiness punctuated the air thickly, and though Eun Ae was still awake, her eyes were already closing gradually with each passing second. It was clear her eyes were getting unfocused because their little one was exhausted.
"Want to go to sleep, princess?" Hyun Bin suggested tenderly.
"Ani." Eun Ae rubbed her eyes tiredly while yawning. "I want to wait until you board."
"You can sleep if you're tired, sweetie. Appa won't mind." Ye Jin ran her fingers lightly through Eun Ae's hair.
Humming softly at the therapeutic feel of her mother's fingers in her hair, Eun Ae yawned again. "Just a little while more."
"I have Happy with me. I'm not alone, princess. I'll be fine."
"Right...Happy is with you. He'll protect..." Eun Ae felt her eyelids slide shut. "you."
With one small whisper, Eun Ae was out like the light. Just like that, their munchkins were finally asleep. And right on time too, for Hyun Bin was due for boarding.
Good evening passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 22A to Singapore. Passengers, please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Thank you.
"That's me." Hyun Bin sighed.
"We'll be fine, Binnie. I love you." Ye Jin uttered softly.
"I know. I love you too, my love."
"Have a safe flight."
"Good night, angel."
Beep.
The second time around, Ye Jin let the silence of the room hug her as her mind processed the fact that their week together had just concluded. Yet, that overwhelming and staggering waves of grief left her alone this time with their little ones surrounding her.
Sure, she felt a tinge of sadness at their parting, but she told herself that they would get through this.
Some minutes later, Ye Jin did feel better – or at least better enough that she didn't feel the need to cry her eyes out again.
With that, she switched off the lights and snuggled up to their children.
They did it once, they could do it again. If there was anything they were confident about, it was their ability to stay together through thick and thin.