I was busy humming along with a song inside my head, not really paying attention to my surroundings. I have found that it is easier to avoid thinking about things which make me nervous, if I hum crappy 90's electro pop and fill my mind with trying to remember the lyrics. I had been doing mental handstands and front flips, rather than let any thoughts of Jamie enter my mind and it had been working- so far.
'Tess, that fork goes on the other side'. My dad said, leaning around me to put it the right way, I jumped, characteristically scared out of my pants by nothing yet again.
'Sorry, my pheasant brain is all confused by the fancy shiny things' I replied finally in a spiteful voice, after my heart had stopped slamming into the walls of my chest. I had tried to make it sound playful, but clearly I was still bitter about things.
I looked up at my dad, noting the warning look in his pale blue eyes, and I began to continue to lay out the cutlery he followed me as I laid out the table correcting me with passive aggressive throat clearing and elbow nudging.
"Tess". My dad said in warning. It's amazing how much can be communicated by ones tone, even if just using a name. This 'Tess' meant 'don't screw up, I worked hard to get your job back and I don't want to be let down'. I spun around on the spot, looking at my distinguished looking father, with his black hair and his dark suit, and I remembered the ache in my chest when I used to think about him. It had been so long since I had been with my father, so long that for his sake; I had better lose the attitude.
'I know dad, servants are to be seen and not heard and I better lose the attitude'. I said mimicking his voice badly and adding in a sassy salute. I was quoting the now infamous mantra which he had said at least twenty times in the three hours we had been at work- and twice on the walk over.
He nodded once, trying to stay serious before smiling warmly at me; I mean it wasn't as if I hadn't done all this before. I was one of the only people here who could honestly say this palace was my home. Well, 'home' in the loosest sense of the term.
'You only have to do this for three months'. He said looking at me with a knowing smile and a wink.
Three horrible months then I was off to Paris, to study with the greatest designers and materials, three months until I could leave England, and its archaic laws behind. I rubbed my hands down my horrible black cotton uniform the maids were required to wear, feeling the itch of my tights and the pinch of the flat ugly shoes. I shuddered once, my ponytail tickling the back of my neck, ugly clothes were the worst punishment I could have received.
'At least, I get to see Jamie'. I said in a quiet voice, allowing myself to say his name once, to say the name of my best friend, the person who knew me better than I knew myself, the other half of me who I wasn't allowed to even talk about.
'That is, Prince James, to you Tess; you can't behave that way anymore. You're not children, it's not becoming'. He said in a chastising tone, and I heard the Queen's choice of words come out of my father's mouth, in an example of terrible mock puppetry.
I had been the best friend of, His Royal Highness Crown Prince James Albert Montgomery, heir to the English throne since I was five. After my mother had died, my father had gotten this job, the two of us moving from the small terrace house in south London, to the on-site butler's cottage on the grounds of the royal family's main estate in the countryside.
We met while I had been looking for tadpoles on the edge of the large lake in the middle of the palace grounds, and we had become best friends straight away. I still had physical scars on my body from our raucous childhood, for example the light silvery lines which dotted my left leg since Jamie thought it would be a good idea to go swimming in a random stream one summer when I was seven and he was nine, I caught my leg on barbed wire and he carried me all the way home. Or the long knife line along the palm of my hand, one which Jamie also had, where we traded blood and became blood friend's for life.
I looked down at the faint line, smiling, remembering how we had to find a knife and somewhere to hide to make our vow, and how we had hidden between the piles of soil in the greenhouse and swallowing winces, trying to act brave in front of the other, we had vowed to always be friends.
Unfortunately, life doesn't always agree with ten year old children's vows of friendship, and I hadn't seen Jamie since I was sent away to boarding school when I was fifteen; it had been three long years. Apart, he had missed my disastrous experiences with braces, sneaking alcohol and trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with boys, and I had missed my best friend as though he were a phantom limb; sometimes I could almost feel him, but he wasn't actually there.
I sighed loudly for my father's effect, knowing that I was being dramatic, but as he had had three years absent of my teenage mood swings, he just had to deal with it. I had to deal with being away from my best friend and knowing that we were in completely different worlds, our friendship was thoroughly looked down upon, I was a female servant and he was a Prince.
My father replied to my sigh with an arched brow, and a warning point of his finger, before leaving the dining room, probably not wanting to deal with me anymore. Grinning, I pulled my iPod out of my pocket. Listening to headphones while working in the Royal Palace- was a big no-no, a huge one, but thankfully, the Royal family were in meetings all morning, so it was just floor staff and the occasional random employee, and we don't tend to snitch on each other. I pulled out the headphones and continued the last played track.
'I'm here by myself, I do know you I don't need no one else'. I sang along twirling as placed the last spoon at the head of the table, and throwing out dramatic arm jabs in time with the song.
'I see your dancing hasn't improved, or singing'. I heard a deep masculine voice radiate from the door. Shocked, I looked up pulling the headphones out of my ears, to see Jamie leaning casually against the door a wince on his handsome face, his blonde hair sticking up in every direction.
A huge grin overtook my face and I stuck my tongue out at him. 'You're just jealous of my sweet, sweet moves'. I said mockingly as I walked- well borderline ran up to him.
'You see right through me as per usual. I stay awake at night, thinking how will I ever be able to contend with such fantastic, and I mean fantastic dancing'. His voice was dry and sarcastic; he had thrown his grey eyes heavenward in a dramatic display. I giggled in reply, letting my ugly smile of 90% gum and 10% big red cheeks overtake my face. I also used this time to covertly check out how much he had changed.
He almost looked completely different. There was still my Jamie in his face, the grey eyes, high cheekbones and wide smiling man, but he was no longer the gangly spotty seventeen year old I remembered.
'I knew I kept you awake at night'. I said laughing before a blush stained my cheeks when I had realised what I had just said. Note to self- avoid sexual innuendo while conversing with best friend who you haven't seen in three years.
He laughed at my blush, his pearly white teeth gleaming against the honey of his skin tone and his slate gray eyes sparkled. I mean I hadn't been totally oblivious to how beautiful he had gotten. I was happy for him; his external looks matched the sweetness of his interior.
Every girl in the country knew Jamie; he was the catch of the century. I had to listen through my teenage years at the posh boarding school I attended- to girls with posh accents saying how they loved him and how they even went as far as to kiss the poster of him they had pinned above their beds, which was unbelievably creepy.
It was hard being the secret best friend of the next in line to the throne.
'What are you doing here?' I asked in an amazed tone once I had stopped evaluating his looks and how much he had changed.
'I take it that you're not pleased to see me, Tessie?' He asked a smile on his face and leaning towards me, I hugged him greedily making up for the time I spent missing my best friend.
I relaxed when I was in his arms breathing in his smell; he pulled away from me, my hands lingering on his back for longer than they should, it was hard not to touch him, when I had missed his presence for so long.
'Of course I am, you fanny.' I said hitting him in his arm, the way he taught me to- thumb out and knuckles clenched.
He laughed 'Ouch, I don't remembering you having such hard knuckles'. He said dramatically rubbing his arm. 'Off with her head'. He yelled out, laughing loudly. Tosser.
I stiffened in retaliation, whispering, 'Shush, I'll get in trouble so much trouble if I'm seen even talking to you.' I said chastising him.
'Why?' He said frowning. Clearly the reasons for my being sent away hadn't been as glaringly obvious to him, as they had to me.
'Why do you think Jamie? Do you think your brother is best pals with the maids too?' I hissed, watching as realisation dawned on his face.
'Sorry Tessie, I didn't think'. He said quietly, I watched his face, watched him realise the conclusion I had come to three years ago- the days of innocent and open friendship between us were over. The only way we could be friends' while I was living at the palace was in secret, a private friendship.
'So, nothing has changed since I was gone?' I said teasingly, lighting the mood. He threw a fake scowl at me, before it wavered around the edges, a bright wide smile overtaking his fake anger.
I smiled warmly back, feeling all the questions I wanted to ask him flood my mind. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted.
'Tess, are you finished yet?' My father's voice came down the hall.
'I have to go'. I said quickly, grabbing my box of silver cutlery and making a move to walk around him. As I passed, Jamie grabbed my arm, sending small pinpricks of sensation up and down the limb.
'Meet me tonight? In our den?' He whispered to me, leaning close, his warm breath heating my cheek. I hadn't been this close to a guy since Liam, and even though it was only Jamie, a part of my stomach flipped.
I nodded uncertainly, frowning and biting my lip, I knew how much trouble I would get in if we got caught. 'What time?'
'Seven o'clock, be there or be square'. He whispered back smiling brilliantly at me.
I walked away to my next maid duty, feeling his eyes on my back. I snuck a quick peek at my watch, it was ten in the morning. I only had to count down nine hours, I could do this. As if needing to get another peek at Jamie, I briefly looked over my shoulder back to where he still stood, leaning against the dining room doorway, his long and muscular arms crossed over a broad chest. He was watching me, and smiled broadly and winked quickly, in his face filled with a mischievous expression.
In reply, I stuck my middle finger up, stifling a giggle when he pretended to be wounded by my rudeness. Hearing my father moving around in the nearby parlour and afraid he would come out and see what was taking me so long, I kept walking, a large smile on my face and began to count down the hours until I would see him again.
Oh boy.