San's POV
"I should've never listened to you!"
Caitlyn rounds on me as I walk into my room.
"Whoa whoa hold on what's going on?" I pause, taking in her frazzled state.
"What's wrong is I thought maybe just maybe you were right and she deserved my listening to her!"
"Okay Cait. Stop for a second." I put my hands out in front of me cautiously.
"No Santana you don't get it!" She rages on.
"Will you just stop for a second and frickin TALK?!? Calmly?? Why do we have to yell? How do you expect me to understand you if you're going off the rails like this?" I throw back.
"Fine." She sits on my bed and takes a breath.
"Thank you." I sit at my desk. "Now will you please talk to me? Tell me what happened."
"She's trying to move us." She says calmly, sighing into her hands.
"She's what? Wait move you guys? Where?"
"I'm not sure.. I kind of blocked out everything after that.. but yeah.. she told me she's leaving my dad."
"That's a good thing."
"Yeah but she's also moving because of that. Says we all need a fresh start. She's trying to see if her job has any positions she can transfer to.. out of state." She looks over at me with tear stained cheeks.
"Oh no.. Cait.."
"Yeah now you see the problem. And to think it all could've been avoided if I had just kept avoiding her!" She laughs bitterly.
"You know that's not true Cait.. you're still her daughter no matter how much you wish you weren't. The alternative would've been her knocking on my door, jess' door, Jamie's, or literally anyone's door that knows you, and forcibly moving you. And you know that."
I look at her sympathetically and continue. "At least this way you have some time to prepare."
She sucks her teeth and looks at me utterly defeated, leaning on her thighs.
"I just... Sanny I can't.. god knows how far away I'll be from you, Jess, Jamie, all my other friends.. I mean.. the only good thing is we're going into high school next year so I won't be totally alienated but.."
"I get it.. you've grown up here, spent your whole life so far here. Of course this isn't going to be easy.." I sympathize. "I know it'll be okay though, I mean.. we don't know how far the move is, we can still text and call. It won't be easy but I'm sure the four of us will keep our bond."
"How are you so sure? You really have no idea! I mean- I could friggin move to Alaska for all we know! Or- or I don't know maybe y'all will move on without me and forget, find a new friend to fill my spot! We. Don't. know!"
"Caitlyn I love you but you have got to control your emotions here! I'm trying to sympathize with you and try to help but you just keep yelling at me! You didn't have to come here, you chose to but me? I didn't choose to get yelled at by my girlfriend! I mean come on now!" I toss my hands up in exasperation.
"I know you're angry at your mom, at the situation, probably even at me! I know this is uncharted territory but I'm trying to be on your side here! Why can't you see that?" I continue.
"Okay but you don't get it Santana! You don't! You think you do but you don't! When's the last time you were kicked out and then proceeded to have your entire life upended? When's the last time you had to go months without seeing your brother? Or mom no matter how angry you are at her? We're living two completely different lives here! So please stop. Because you don't get it and I doubt you ever will."
We sit in silence for a while. Neither of us knowing what to say.
I want to comfort her but I don't know how anymore. For months it's been so hot and cold between us that I can't tell if she'd even want me to touch her.
"Cait... I'm trying.. I know it's not everything, it probably feels shallow or whatever, but can you please let me be here for you?" I move over to my bed and sit, keeping my distance.
"Liam has to move now. Leave all his friends behind and start over now. All because of me. Because of us."
I want to respond but I can only listen.
"This is all my fault-" her voice breaks off. "If I had never pursued you.. if I had just ignored it all.. we'd still be a family and Liam wouldn't have to go through all of this- this bullshit! He's gonna hate me.."
"Whoa Cait, let's not go that far. I'm sure he has some sort of idea of what's going on by now.. and from what you've told me he definitely doesn't hate you."
"Santana just- I'm leaving. I can't be here right now." She shakes her head and stands up, walking out the room.
"Well what the hell." I grumble to myself. "I'm gonna have high blood pressure dealing with her."
"Eventually, Caitlyn came to see reason and became less defensive when the topic came up. She was around the group of us more often than not and most of her free time outside of that was spent with me, helping her pack up. Apparently they were leaving as soon as possible which meant once the school year ended they'd be gone."
A Week Later
You have got.. to be fucking kidding me.
"oh my god." Caitlyn whispers in disbelief.
With her hands up to her face, covering her mouth I hear her hushed tone and see her wide eyes. "I am so sorry Santana. I-it was an accident I swear. You know I'd never put my hands on you. I-I was jus-"
"Stop." I bring my hand up, motioning for her to be quiet.
"Sanny I-"
"No shut up." I don't yell, just speak cold and clear. "I can't keep doing all this fighting with you..."
"San-"
"I'm done. I'm done."
"No Sanny-"
"No Caitlyn! I said I'm done! This- this fighting? It's unhealthy. I can't ask if you're okay, I-I can't talk about my problems without your rude commentary, God forbid I bring up your family! Look at us! We're supposed to be bestfriends! We're supposed to always be there for each other, tell each other everything! But it's always arguing and secret keeping and problems!" I plead. "I don't care... if that was just an accident. It shouldn't have gone far enough for it to happen.. so... I'm done. That was the last straw." I finish calmly.
"No no no no no no please don't do this Sanny..." Tears were falling from her eyes as she falls to her knees pleading.
"I'm sorry Cait..."
"No Santana don't do this to me! You're all I have left!"
"Caitlyn" I say, my voice growing louder. "Caitlyn stop, don't act like this, please. Don't make this harder than it needs to be."
She moves over to me, clinging to my waist as she cries into my shirt.
"Sanny please" She begs. "Please don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I-I'll change, we can go back to being the carefree us please!"
I pull her up, holding her at arms length.
"Caitlyn we cannot keep doing this. It's unhealthy!" I say firmly.
She releases a few more sobs before it went deafeningly silent.
She pushes away from me.
Pissed.
"I left my family for you and this is the thanks I get!?!"
I stand in a daze, rooted to the floor as I watch her in her rage fire.
"Wow" She laughs bitterly. "I knew you were a bitch but I didn't think you were this cold too."
"You do not get to pin this on me. I'm so sorry your father made you choose but the outcome of that situation is not on me."
"Isn't it? He was pretty clear in saying them or you and for some insane reason I chose you thinking we'd actually work and you're just ending things, right here, like this?"
"Cait-"
"No you're right we are done, don't talk to me anymore. I'd say goodbye but I'd be lying."
"Caitlyn.."
"Just don't.. you want to break up not me so enjoy your newfound freedom." From the amount of voice cracks in the sentence, it sounds like she was barely holding it together.
She moves over to her bedroom door, opening it for me to leave. I stay but move toward the window on the opposite side of the room.
I can see the pain in her eyes, it's been there for a while and I don't know how I had gone so long thinking everything was going to be okay with her when she was slowly falling apart.
We stand in silence, neither of us looking at each other for any longer than a second, fleeting glances.
"Cait.." I slowly move toward her. Not quite reaching her but closer than before.
She looks over at me teary eyed.
"Cait, I am so sorry that this is happening to you, I am. I truly can't imagine how this feels." I take a few more steps toward her, small tears falling from my eyes. "I love you,"
She flinches at the words.
"I do love you, and I wanted to make this work. God I wanted to make this work so bad I did."
"So why are you trying to end this? Why are you twisting the knife?" She whispers.
"You twisted the knife." I sighed softly, tiredly, brokenly. "You pierced my heart with it.. with what I thought was love and affection and you pushed it further and further and I let you.. but at some point I realized it's not affection, it's not love.. I don't know what it is but it's negative and I don't want it."
More tears fall, more cloud my eyes.
She sits on her bed, I keep my distance.
"You dug that knife in my heart so slowly that I didn't notice it and that slap? That slap was the twist.. I love you but I refuse to stay when you've repeatedly hurt me, emotionally, and now physically."
"Sanny.. what- what are you talking about- hurt you emotionally? Physically? It was one slap and an accident a-an-and I regret it and apologized immediately it's not like I'd do that again. Come on now- you- you know me, you know who I am I'm not like that."
"Except I don't know you." I take a step back. "I- I don't. I thought I did but I don't."
"How can you say something like that? We've been friends for years! How could you think that?" She asks exasperated.
"You don't tell me things anymore, 90% of things I bring up you shut me down. I'm over the hot and cold with you, I'm over the arguing and yelling and fighting, the tears, the heartache and headaches when I know something's up with you but you don't tell me what. I- I'm just so tired Caitlyn."
I take a moment to breathe.
More silence.
"You're moving. We might as well break it off. Fresh start for everyone. We can still talk, we can still be friends, we just won't be in a relationship anymore. We can use the distance to heal ourselves."
"Sanny... please don't leave." She cries out softly.
"Cait you know this isn't what we should be doing. It's just too much for the both of us. It was cute, we were cute.. but it's all out of hand now. We lost control. Please... Cait I don't want the last times we're together to be bad like this.. I want to enjoy us as friends.. I want to enjoy us when we were good.."
I lower myself to the floor, dropping my head.
"I love you Sanny.."
"I love you Cait.."
"There we sat... two heartbroken barely teens on the floor of her bedroom floor, surrounded by boxes and the like. A year of our relationship had finally come to an end, packed away in one of those little boxes and sealed away under packing tape."
A/N: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back here guys. Had a lot going on personally butttttt I'm hoping to come back for a bit during this winter break and every break following until I finish this work. I am trying very hard to write regularly but it's a lot between finishing senior year, working, prepping to move out and just everything else 😭😭
Love you guys. Thanks for sticking around if you're still hear, I appreciate it, it's truly motivating. XO
Word count: 2.1k