CHAPTER 3: BROKEN PROMISES
Mid-scream, my eyes shot open and all of a sudden, I faced a new reality. Trying to make sense of where I was and what had happened took me no more than two or three deep breaths.
My body still shook with adrenaline, making it impossible to keep my arms and legs still. My heart beat hard and fast, pounding in my ears.
To my surprise, the dark of night had traded places with a bright and sunny sky. Not able to wrap my head around the sudden change of scenery, I blinked twice to test if I wasn’t dreaming. I repeated the action once more, but the car ceiling didn’t disappear, neither did the sound of a running engine.
Movement beneath my head caused me to jolt. Time seemed to stop when I spotted Jason behind the wheel.
Oh, please…
I all but snapped my neck twisting it to look over my shoulder. Preventing the tears from falling was not an option as I cried out in relief.
Though my nightmare was over, the nauseating feeling remained. The sight of Hunter – healthy and alive – brought on vivid images from my bone-chilling dream. I bolted for the window, barely managed to roll it down in time, and stuck my head outside while my stomach emptied itself. A car honked behind us for only god knows what reason, though I didn’t pay much attention to it. The fresh air in my face did me good and before long, I slumped back in my seat, meeting the worried glare that came from Hunter, who had his back pressed against the door at his side. No more than a second later, the car came to a full stop. Before the engine had died completely, Jason turned around in his seat, facing me. He, too, looked mortified, but that wasn’t the only expression I read on his face.
Another moment of uncomfortable stares had to pass before things seemed to click together in my head. As it finally dawned on me why my brothers kept their distance, Hunter confirmed my fears.
“You’re inf—”
“I’m not infected!” I didn’t give Hunter a chance to finish his accusation.
With squinted eyes, he glowered at me. The pensive expression he wore reflected his struggle to decide whether he should believe me.
Long, silent moments passed, and when he couldn’t take it any longer, he all but ran from the car, leaving the door wide open in his wake.
I didn’t know what to say, or how to react. The fact that Hunter was so sure I was infected led me to question my own opinion. I only felt sick because of that nightmare. I would’ve felt it if was contaminated, and I could trust my own body to at least recognize the signs of contamination – or so I hoped.
Confused about my health, I tried to remember if by any chance I could’ve been infected. However, after going over the past twenty-four hours I came up with nothing. I hadn’t seen a single contaminated person except for my dad - and then still, I hadn’t touched him. The sick feeling must have been nothing but a reaction to my vivid nightmare.
It just had to be.
“Keara…” Jason waved a hand in front of me to snap me back from my thoughts.
“I’m sorry, Jason.” I whispered, not really sure what I was apologizing for.
He shrugged off my apology and eyed me with a thoughtful expression on his face. To avoid the awkward stare, I turned my attention to Hunter. He paced back and forth outside the car, and every so often, he paused, only to continue right after. He didn’t even look up when Jason and I exited the car.
“How do you feel, Keara?” Jason broke the building tension, and leaned his back against the side of the car. I shrugged, not entirely sure of the right response to that question.
“Fine, I guess.”
Physically, I felt better – not quite perfect, but better. Emotionally, now that was an entirely different question. It was hard enough dealing with everything so far already, let alone having to add a possible contamination on top of that.
“You’re not sick? Or at least, you don’t think you are?” He studied my face intensely, as though a bright red “infected” or a green “clear” would appear on my forehead. When the gazing continued, I averted my eyes to the road and tried to ignore reality.
The moment we left home, when we walked through that door, I had pictured it to be us three against the rest of the world. Never did it occur to me that one of us might get contaminated, especially not me. Not that I was. I wasn’t contaminated. I couldn’t be contaminated. Under no pretense, I would allow myself to acknowledge the worst case scenario Hunter hinted at.
“Are you sure?” Jason tilted his head slightly. “Are you willing to take the risk?”
“I am.”
Not for a split second had the thought crossed my mind that I could have been ill, and then Hunter brought it up. In the back of my mind, I knew there would always be a risk. I would never be a hundred percent certain – however, I could pretend I was.
After running his hands through his hair a couple of times, Hunter made his way over to where Jason and I stood near the car.
“What do we do?” Hunter asked cautiously, rubbing his forehead while doing so. We both turned sideways, waiting for Jason to come up with a plan. He, too, rubbed his forehead, heaving a sigh.
Would they leave me behind, at the side of the road, make me watch them drive away? Were they really going to drop me in some ditch if it turned out I was sick? I didn’t want to die alone – I didn’t want to die, period, or at least not for another eighty years or so.
“We’ll wait it out. Let’s see what happens. There’s no reason to jump to conclusions.”
Relief washed over me, even though nothing was set in stone and it wasn’t a real solution.
“So, we’re simply going to risk our lives like that?” Hunter countered, his gaze fixated on Jason.
Whereas Jason at least dared to make eye contact, it seemed as if Hunter thought that by doing so, he’d die that horrible death together with me. Unable to think of how it would feel if our roles had been reversed, I couldn’t help but feel hurt. I was his family – didn’t that mean anything to him?
“For all we know she’s not infected. Are you willing to leave her behind? Don’t you remember what you promised Dad? What we all promised?” “Of course I remem--”
“Then keep that damn promise instead of breaking it the first chance you get!”
If this had been any other time, I wouldn’t have held back. I would’ve let them know that ‘she’ was standing right next to them and that ‘she’ could hear everything - but I didn’t.
Not daring to move a single muscle, I stood there, listening. I didn’t want either of my brothers to direct their frustration towards me instead of each other. Selfish as that might be, I could only take so much. Even I had my limits.
“Do you think Dad meant that we should all risk our lives? Do you think he would’ve wanted that?” Hunter threw back, but Jason wasn’t listening anymore.
Jason had turned around and after he sat himself in the driver’s seat, one leg still dangling outside, he rummaged through the glove department. When he found what he was looking for, he straightened, leaned back, and reached in his pocket.
“I thought you quit?” I said as Jason lit a cigarette.
“I did, I just kept some in case of emergency. And don’t lecture me about it, Keara, because frankly, I don’t give a damn. We’re all going to die anyway – so why still care?”
Hunter opened his mouth to protest, as did I, but we were both silenced before we could make a sound. Jason held out his hand to us and turned the radio’s volume up.
“Listen to this,” he said, balancing the cigarette between his lips.
“—has announced that there is now a plausible test. A limited amount of tests is available; more to be supplied by midnight. This progress is by far the most important at this moment and shows, once more, there is no need to panic. The army, scientists, doctors and no less than the best and most experienced specialists are working on this problem. With the development of this test, the prospects of finding a cure are no longer viewed as an impossible task. So far there have been no successful results, but more about that in the next update. Next are more practical announcements; including the different test-points, safe zones, and stages of contamination—”
I listened carefully as the reporter listed all the places where the test would be available, not that I knew how to get there. If we got our hands on a test, we could find out, once and for all, whether I was contaminated. Perhaps this would reassure Hunter. As the announcement continued, I glanced sideways to where Hunter stood.
To hear the radio better, Hunter had moved closer, most likely without noticing our proximity. Only because I didn’t want him to freak out as soon as he realized, I took a step aside and focused on the announcement again.
“—recommended to leave your homes and go to the safe zones. Each area has been assigned a specific safe zone. At the entrance of each safe zone there will be thorough controls – Not a single infected person will be allowed to enter. Now, we’ll list the different safe zones and the symptoms once more. Zone A is assigned to the people who live in--”
The rest was old news to me – it wasn’t as if we hadn’t heard the message a million times before. I didn’t move though, but waited patiently for Jason and Hunter to finish listening.
Staring at the cars that drove by, I couldn’t help but wonder if all those people were healthy. Were there people desperate enough to try to enter one of the safe zones knowing they were infected?
When Jason and Hunter started talking, I turned back around. I wanted to know what the new plan was.
“We need to get one of those tests.” Jason said matter-of-factly.
“What are we going to do with Keara?”
Just like earlier, Jason raised his eyebrows in a daring way. His facial expression said it all. Jason did not feel like having to tell Hunter again, that leaving me behind was not an option.
“I’ll just sit in the back seat. I won’t touch anything,” I promised whilst holding my hands up in front of me. I would do just about anything if it meant my brothers wouldn’t leave me behind.
“Fine. Keara, get in the car and just watch out, alright? And you,” Jason pointed at Hunter, “I don’t want to hear a single word from you, understood?”
Hunter didn’t even attempt to reply; he walked around the car and got in. Jason opened the door for me, watched me attentively as I got inside and just before he shut the door, he murmured for my ears alone, “I hope you’re right.”
For an hour and a half, I sat upright in my seat, extra cautious not to touch anything, doing my utter best to pretend I wasn’t there. Neither Jason nor Hunter wasted any words on me, however, they sent plenty please-don’t-be-infected looks my way.
I had to give it to Jason for keeping a clear head. Waiting it out might not have been the brightest - or safest - idea, but it was by far the most preferable one to me. Hunter would’ve left me there. It had shown clear in his eyes that he didn’t want to, but still, he had tried to convince Jason to go on without me. It was something I simply couldn’t accept. It never would’ve crossed my mind to ditch my brothers if they ever got infected. Dad made us promise that we’d take care of each other and to stick together, not get rid of someone at the first opportunity. Even though it had only been a dream – or nightmare – I hadn’t given up on Hunter, not even when those contaminated people found us. Thinking back to that nightmare, I couldn’t help but shiver in disgust. A whimper escaped me as images of cannibalistic creatures flashed through my head.
Hunter turned briskly around in the passenger seat. He gave me a quick once-over and as soon as he did, his face paled.
“Stop the car,” he spoke through gritted teeth. Face reddening, he balled his fist and punched the headrest when the car kept up its speed. “Jason. Stop. The. God. Damn. Car.”
With a curse, Jason steered the car to the side of the road, and before it came to a complete halt, Hunter was gone.
Confused, Jason turned around and shot me a puzzled look. “What’s wrong with him?”
“I have no –” I began to murmur but was brutally interrupted by Hunter as he pounded his fist to the window right next to me. Startled, I whipped around in my seat.
“Get out!” he ordered far from friendly.
Taken aback, I shot Jason a worried glance, pleading him for help with my eyes.
“Let me find out what this is all about. I don’t know what stuff he’s on, but I’ve never seen him behave this irrational before.”
Whatever they said to each other when Jason caught up to Hunter was lost on me. The sound didn’t carry all the way to me, but still, it seemed as though Jason had a hard time getting Hunter to calm down. When Jason pulled his arm backward, I realized things had gotten out of hand. Way out of hand.
On impulse, I exited the car. Not wanting them to fight over me, I hurried over to my two brothers. But, I was too slow. Jason punched Hunter in the face and it didn’t take long for Hunter to return the favor.
With shocked eyes and my mouth gaping wide open, I witnessed the scene that played in front of me. It took me several seconds before I was able to move again, but even then, I acted without thinking. Holding my hands in front of me, I closed in. They didn’t even notice.
Perhaps, if the two of them hadn’t been so busy fighting each other, one of us might have reacted in time.
No one stopped me.
Using all my might, I pulled at Hunter’s arm to keep him from throwing another punch. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t strong enough and Hunter’s fist collided with Jason’s nose. A cracking sound brought us back to our senses, and time stopped – our arms frozen mid-air.
Realization dawned on all of us.
My skin touched Hunter’s, and we both seemed to realize it at precisely the same time. He flinched away when I drew my hands back. Terrified, I met his eyes, but quickly switched to Jason when I noticed Hunter’s hateful glare.
Jason covered his nose with both hands, but that didn’t keep the blood from streaming down his chin, leaving dark stains on his shirt.
“Are you alright?” I asked while I searched my pockets for something I could hand over to Jason to stop the bleeding. I found a used paper tissue and held it out to him, but quickly changed my mind.
“Maybe that’s not such a great idea after all.”
An awkward silence followed, filled with fierce looks angry glares. A pale-stricken Hunter was the first to break it.
“Do you want me to die, too?”
“Of course not!”
“Why did you lie, by the way? You may have tried to hide it, but I can tell you felt sick in the car. You turned so pale. You felt nauseous, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but that wasn’t because of what you think. You’re wrong, Hunter!” My anger bubbled to the surface. “I am not infected, and I’ll prove you wrong as soon as we get those tests. Just wait and see! And then you won’t have to come apologizing, because, trust me, I won’t ever forgive you for treating me like this!”
“Then how can you explain throwing up? Why did all the color fade from your face just then? I’ve seen it before, with Dad, so don’t tell me you’re not infected. Maybe you touched someone on the bus when you came home this morning. How can you be so sure you’re not infected? You can never be certain – unless you’re lying.”
Taking deep breath after deep breath, I tried to keep myself from exploding. Hunter continued his monologue and not looking at him was the only tactic effective enough to keep from showing how furious I was on the inside.
“Or is there something you’re not telling us? Are you pregnant?”
At first, I tried to hold it back, but after only a matter of seconds, I burst out in fits of hysterical laughter. The tension and the absurdity of what he suggested must have gotten to me. I couldn’t contain my laughter. However, the urge to laugh died as soon as it had come.
“Do you want to know why I threw up earlier? Do you want to know the reason why I felt sick in the car? Do you really? I watched you being eaten alive by those repulsive, contaminated monsters. We were in a car accident and you were too heavy for me to carry you. I tried with all my might to get you inside the car, but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t going to let you die by yourself like you’re planning to do with me. I sat there, next to you, until the very last minute – until you told me to get in the car. I didn’t want to leave you like that, but you told me to. I watched them eat you alive, Hunter. Isn’t that enough reason to feel sick? Would your stomach be able to handle that? Would you want us to leave you behind just because of a dream – a nightmare? Like I said, don’t apologize when that test proves I’m not infected. You promised Mom and Dad – you promised me that you’d look after me, remember? You said you’d do everything humanly possible to keep me safe.” I snorted once without a trace of humor. “Well, screw you, Hunter, because you’re not the brother I thought you to be!”
Having said all that – perhaps screamed was a more accurate way to describe my enraged outburst – I brusquely spun around, strode back to the car, and I slammed the door firmly shut behind me. Within seconds, tears of frustration and anger flooded my cheeks, but I didn’t bother wiping them away. Exhausted, I pulled my feet up on the seat and hugged my legs close. While I rested my head on my knees, I gave in to all the built-up emotion trapped in my chest.
Not long after, Jason and Hunter joined me in the car. They didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t be bothered to look up.
We took off to where we could get the tests, only this time it wasn’t Jason behind the wheel, but Hunter.
With nothing better to do, I stared outside the window and tried to figure out if this disease was messing with other people’s lives as badly as it did with ours?
Realizing I could do with a distraction, I rummaged through my bags until I found my old MP3-player. As I began to listen to the music, a small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. It had been so long since I last heard any of these songs, that it somewhat felt like coming home.
As the time passed by and the sky grew darker, more and more cars stopped along the sides of the road –we continued moving.
With my music pretty loud, I couldn’t tell if Hunter and Jason said one word throughout the whole drive. It wasn’t until the battery died that I put my MP3-player away. Only a couple of silent minutes passed before Jason spoke.
“The second one on the left, that’s where we have to be,” he pointed to a building, where a crowd was waiting at the doors already.
“Someone has to stay in the car. I think Keara should do that,” Hunter said to Jason, pretending I wasn’t there.
Jason lifted a hand. “I don’t think she should stay alone, it’s not safe. One of us will have to stay, too. Who’s it going to be?”
At Jason’s words, Hunter opened his door. “I’ll go." Realizing his abrupt exit, he added, "You should stay here, what with your nose still hurting so badly. I’ll be right back.”
Not giving either of us a chance to object, Hunter left the car and, in long strides, he headed for the mob.